Ask a pizza delivery driver anything

Ask a pizza delivery driver anything.

whats your job?

I deliver pizza.

are you a fake pizza driver or do you fuck with non-tippers food?

I don't really ever fuck with your average non tippers food. Happens too often to really care much about. I have fucked with someone's food once or twice when they were giant assholes and I had to bring food back for them or something. Nothing serious though I usually just leave the box open on my seat with the window open so it gets cold. Only have done it twice for good reason.

How much spit was in my pizza?

I once saw a picture (I think it was snapchat??) where a girl didn't have money to pay the driver so the caption said "we didn't have any other way to pay" and it looked like she had cum all over her. soooooo has that ever happened to you?? you ever fuck a customer who didn't have money????

Probably none. I've never seen and have never spit in anyone's pizza. Other drivers might though if you're a giant cock and deserve it

How many cats have you ran over, OP?

Nah I've never fucked anyone. I have had the vibe a few times where they were being super flirtatious but I can't like invite myself in and lose my job. Have also had girls answer the door in just bra and underwear or just a t shirt. That's about the wildest as far as sexual goes.

Oh yeah also had a dude answer the door wearing just a robe. He tipped me $10 though so he can answer the door however he wants if he tips that well.

Never I love cats.

Nice dubs

Lol who cares if a dude answers in a robe I walk my fucking dog in a bathrobe.

What's your scariest experience while on the job?

Ever deliver to a naked MFC model?

I don't need to ask you anything. I've already been one.

The bathrobe was open. And I didn't care. He gave me $10 lol

It's moderately scary a every once in a while. Part of the area I deliver in is like a project with lots of bloods. Had a couple times where I was certain I was being robbed. Also had a psycho get in my face because I forgot his ranch, I told him to fuck off and left.
Nothing serious has ever happened to me. We have had a driver get stabbed and another had a gun pulled on him. Other than that project it's a decent area though so tips are worth the shit.

Are you currently high?

Well aren't you a bad ass. Ever pretend to drop something just to bend over to show the nice people behind you, your ass?

Easiest job on the planet right? Just doing it for another semester then I graduate. Getting old after 4-5 years tho

Yeah, it's pretty easy, but most customers fucking suck.

Nah I used to smoke heavily all day during my shift and at home but I was put on probation for some unrelated shit and after a year of not smoking I don't enjoy it anymore, I get too high and anxious. Just drinking a few beers

Kinda miss smoking though

Yeah being in the service industry is definitely the biggest downside. At least where I work isn't very corporate so I tell people to fuck off if they're being a dick and won't get fired

how do most customers suck, you literally say like 2 sentecnes to each other.

"hi heres your pizza, your total comes to x y z/"

"sweet man.. thanks.. keep the change."

What was your biggest fuck up while working?

Do you deliver breadsticks as well?

How often do u get tipped? I usually tip $2 for a $13 order. Is that little am I an asshole?

Back when I smoked heavily I would regularly leave with two or more deliveries and get back to the store with a delivery still sitting next to me. Outside of that nothing huge. Occasionally forget a salad or soda, go in a car accident once but wasn't really my fault.

You work for Toppers?

For $13 that's pretty average. Not great but I wouldn't walk away upset. Average tip for a 20+ order is 3-4$ anything over 6 is really good and I pretty much expect 10% on any order over $150

some people simply use the opportunity to degrade you or just be a pretentious asshole because someone was a dick to them not long before you showed up with their food

it's playground shit, really

Nah that shit would suck such late hours. We stop taking deliveries at 9 weekdays and 10 week nights so it's pretty reasonable hours. I'm located near and airport so lunches are honestly the best, lots of huge orders to businesses.

This.

I run into people pretty often that just act rude as fuck for the sake of being rude. Probably having a bad life or some shit but they take it out on you because they think you have to take it. Kinda shitty I'm just a normal human like them, gets old being degraded so I talk shit back these days.

Most days are fine.

I would love being a pizza delivery driver, but not with apartments. Are you worried you are going to get parking tickets? I live in Toronto, and there are so many neighbourhoods here that I would hate to deliver pizza in. Whenever I am at my friends place (28th floor condo) we order pizza just because we are too lazy/high/drunk to leave the unit. So do you get parking tickets, and do you have to pay out of pocket?

I've never gotten a parking ticket I work slightly outside the downtown area of my city so getting a parking ticket that fast is pretty unlikely. I just leave my car running in the street pretty often though.

Going up big appt complexes does get annoying but not the worst

...

I've actually sent this pic to my gf before lol. Sometimes that's how I feel