Skyrim greentext stories
>Be me
>Breton mage
>College of Winterhold student to get the Archmage's robe
>Doing the college quests
>Dragon appears in the college
>Kill it
>Finish the quest
>Come back
>It's there once more
>Kill it again
>Enter the college, finish the quest
>Leave the college
>It has skin again
>Leave
>Several quests later
>Start Imperial questline
>Come back to buy a conjuration spell
>Another fucking dragon
10/10 Would get burned to death again.
Bump
>Nord warrior.
>Make my character look like Anders Behring Breivik.
>Skyrimbelongstothenords.jpeg
>Install a mod that makes everyone killable.
>Cleanse the lands of all non-nord scum.
>Save Nazeem and strip him of all clothes, including changing his gender with console commands
>FeelsGoodMan
Fighting dragons there was a huge pain in the ass
>kajhitt (or however it's spelled)
>dark fur, skinny, tall
>steal
>steal
>become redguard
>eat dragons
Was fighting one while writing, the fucker went up on one of the towers and wouldn't fly out.
Inside riften was my worst encounter.
9/10 Not making Nazeem into a weapon/armor piece and displaying it in your house
do you guys regulary cheat?
ive reached lvl 19 so far without cheating but the urge is always there
my char is LVL58 and didn't cheat.
...
>young mage in the making
>do quests, level up
>flame is least wasteful
>join a band of flea ridden assholes(aella was the only reason)
>fuck im a goddam werewolf
>transform just as im about to talk to aella
>im transforming while looking at my inv and freaking out
>i have essentially equipted all my mana regen gear and then some
>spend countless hours trying to recreate situation and finally succeed
>im shooting fireballs like a motherfucking god >still only spent 3 perks on destruction
Cheating ruins fun, but with a modded game its sometimes necessary to actually make it work.
Not gonna green text since on mobile
Be female Breton
Start game captured by miraak cultists
Left me naked with nothing but restraints on
Gag in food mod installed start yo get hungry ohshit.jpeg
Wiggle my way out of my armbinder and eventually out of my holding cell in a Nordic ruin
Go outside
Its raining and night out oh shit imma freeze to death frostfall installed
See a huge fire in distance
Giant camp
Find dagger manage to cut off gag
Steal mammoth cheese and eat like a king
Sleep next to fire to wait for storm to pass
Next morning found out cultist framed me for murder 10k+ bounty in every hold
Fuck me
Naked alone in bondage restraints armed with a dagger
I make my way north to find a suitable setting to call my own so I can focus on clearing my name
Find a ruined garrison on a hill
Filled with forsworn
Kill them and manage to find a few keys to unlock restraints
Unlock pony boots to increase movement speed and the ability to sneak with no clop sounds giving me away
Unlock body harness to equip chest armor
Rummage the fort get all the food I can find and pit it in one spot
Sleep for the night
Venture out early morning because my food supply wont last forever
Find farm
Find peasants
Kill them steal there food etc
Go back to my humble home
Whatwait.jpeg soldiers have come and garrisoned my fort
Im okay with this extra security is never bad
Go to sleep
Woken up in the middle of the night to naked soldiers surrounding me
Ohshit.png
They take turns raping me
Lock me in more restraints
Steal my gold
Leave permanent humiliating tattoos all over my body
Go berserk
Kill them all
And that's all I remember about that character I remake them so much its like im fucking addicted to starting over
>be nord lvl 20
>kill dragon for jarl
>rewards me with slave chick
>take her back to new home
>kill slave chick steel armor
>put on steel armor
>pick up body and lay it on table
>walk outside
>man approaches with letter and inheritance for slave chicks death
>thatwasquick.jpg
>he knows
>can't kill him during the day
>shoot speacial arrow at sun
>light vanishes
>kill the all knowing man
My sides have left planet Earth and made contact with a NASA satellite.
Also checked.
>Be me
>Be Breton battle mage
>When not using magic I use my fist.
>In Whiterun and I pass Nazeem
>Do you get to the cloud district often...
>I launch a lighting bolt right up Nazeems ass.
>He shouts for guard.
>I get a cinematic kill where I beat nazeem in the face.
>Proceed to set guards and people on fire
>Pile driving some
>braking others faces
>All the time Im laughing wile repeatedly saying
>Heaven is in the clouds!
>Everyone goes to the cloud district today
>All thanks to Nazeem
>Pic related, nazeem getting his face destroyed
Is this b8
No it's my heavily modded version of skyrim
Which is the best race in Skyrim?
You said you were a breton and then suddenly you were a pony.
>lvl 60 nord assassin
>see obvious boss ahead
>sneak behind it and one hit kill it
>fucker has a spooky ghost as a second form
>I'm fucked.mp3
>Fucker hits me right back to Whiterun.
Not a huge fan of Deviant Devices tbhfam
Breton get the lord stone and 3 ranks of magic resist in alteration tree = magic resist cap
Pony boots nigga
it's devious devices, you doubleredguard
But it makes the game so much harder
The devices look fucking stupid, though imo. And I'm a bondage fan.
The issue with skyrim is- even if that's true, you're just delaying the inevitable ascendence to godhood
>be Throngarth
>strolling though forest collecting rabbit souls
>giant appears
>"I got this"
>Hit giant with mighty blow
>get hit by mighty blow
>half defeat giant
>ancient dragon appears
>another giant
>make giants kill dragon
>1 barely live giant
>Throngarth almost dead
>attack giant
>giant attacks
die together
Are you sure you are using device devices and not the zaz devices, because those ones do looking really fucking stupid
...
Could have been zaz, tbh. It's been a while. I just remember getting a slave collar put on, and I'm expecting it to be sexy af, but instead it's this huge, bulky Saw movie contraption bullshit.
The way I play and the mods I have you're no god till at least 60-70 and even then I've wrong move and your a bandit camps fuck toy
>be me
>in whiterun
>watch kids have sex with each other
Yea nigga that's the stock iron one if I wasn't at work I'd post some screen shots but alas work fucking sucks
I still haven't found a balanced difficulty. You're either a god from start to finish, or you die in one hit while doing fuck all for damage.
>strolling thru snowy mountains
>frost troll
>still lower lvl so hes quite the bitch
>along comes dragon
>oh fuck
>deal with troll while avoiding dragon
>he's next...
>another dragon appears
>OH FUCK
>2 hours later i finally defeat two dragons much stronger than me
>skyrim still belongs to the nords.jpg
>have Lydia
>lydia gets her pus crushed by giant
>dead
>find new waifu
>ask to marry
>show up to wedding
>everyone pissed
>Lydia's corpse is laying in the middle of the church
>Get called a bad person by preacher, waifu storms out
>mfw
Kek
something is wrong but i cant put my finger on what it is
Super contrast
>be me Kahjiit
>steal shit
>kahjiit attempts to steal argonian bloodwine from the bannered mare
Mind you, kahjiit has stolen from imperial palace.
>Hulda suddenly wakes up and yells at me
>kfw she was watching kahjiit through the cracks in the wood
>Kahjiit gets setenced until next frostfall
Remember that kahjiit was arrested mid Hearthfire
>survive for a few weeks
>guards were really rough with punishments
>guards even amputated tail
>kahjiit had gone weeks without stealing
>wake up
>kahjiit has turned into domestic cat
>kfw not stealing had turned me into pleb-tier cat
>escape through bars
>steal shit again
>turn back into Kahjiit
>get bounty for escaping
>by then kahjiit had escaped back to hammerfell
>be me, level 2 imperial conjurer without any spells
>get random encounter of 2 bandit leaders +3 marauders
>zigzag over the plains west of whiterun to outrun arrows
>find giant camp
>run through giant's legs, jump over water, hide behind cheese
>see bandit vs giant cage match, it's close, but bandit leader wins with a sliver of health
>thetimeisnow.jpg
>run into orc armor wearing badass with steel dagger, mashing attack buttons
>barely kill bandit leader, start looting giants for magic shit
>fly through air
>ragdoll against phallic rock monument
>giants are nomadic creatures
Bear with me because im doing this from memory, the mods I use for difficulty and skyrims immersive creatures adds new foes + updates vanilla enemies, then I use revenge of the enemies which give mobs more hp different weapons spells etc then I set the in game difficulty to expert, the only way I found to be godly early was going pure mage its a rocky start but once you get a huge manna pool you're a god, when I tried this setup with 2h it was a good balance but if you were careless timing your swings you can get fucked, I like to play sword and board with magic in my off hand for pre battle spells like skin spells and conjuration
Just the other day
>new character
>reptile
>what's your name
>PAUSE
>frog
>chose not to be dragon born
>dark brotherhood instead
>never finished it before
>fucking ingrid
>become human eater
>get called canibal
>mfw I get more accepted then niggers in skyrim
This sounds pretty awesome!
Thank you it took me probably more hours modding it to make it perfect, then actually playing the game, so I appreciate your compliment
>guards raping player in sleep
Please tell me there's a mod for this
It's called Dangerous Nights, relies on SexLab 1.60+
Thanks! Gonna install now
They were imperial soldiers, there is mod though like I said above I have the remember the name I believe its dangerous nights
That's awesome!
The hero skyrim needs and deserves.
You're doing the Nine Divines work user.
Good luck, young man.
For the night is dark and full of terrors.
Modding Skyrim and keeping the game stable is a challenge.
>be belethor the shopkeeper
>if I had a sister id sell her in a second
>wave to dragonborn my only customer ever
>vampires surround both of us
>dragonborn puts weapons away and removes his clothes
>this crazy motherfucker
>spits fire at them
>turns them to ash
>guards are attacking him
>try to break it up and explain what has happened
>he shouts at the sky
>huge Skelton dragon swoops down into the marketplace
>dragonborn winks at me and hops on the dragons back
>rides around for hours killing everyone in sight except for me
So much this
it literally crashes every few hours.
>talk to revelers
>crash
I'll definitly check it out regardless. always wanted to imagine that rape is a thing in this universe
>play skyrim
>level 1
>go to first town
>see that some vindictive asshole is doing something bad
>supposed to settle it like a normal person
>kill him and throw him in tavern fire naked
>everyone is mad at me
>rage quit because no rape.
Well since we are on the topic of rape the mod defeat adds combat rape, it gives enemies the chance to knock you down/out via power attacks, when you get hit and your stamina is low or when you get hit regularly below a certain threshold of hp, couple this mod wit another (I believe the name is deviously helpless possibly devious captures) every time a defeat scenario happens your assailants will lock restraints on you. And all of this is customizable
>be me
>be altmer
>end up escaping with stormcloak because fuck the empire
>get to riverwood
>talk to family
>steal his shit
>go to whiterun
>bribe guards
>enter
>interrupt council
>everybody gets angry at me
>leave because everyone hates me for no reason
so basically people can rape me instead of kill me?
>Be me
>Make a mod that lets you write your own notes
>Pickpocket Thalmor and drop notes that say "Fuck Elves" in their inventory
>Murder everyone in the Thalmor embassy
>Drop a note that says "The Dragonborn was here"
>Another mod spawns a back up Thalmor
>He looks around at dozens of his dead friends
>Screams "Who did this?!" like they all do when they find a dead body
>I imagine him finding the note that says "The Dragonborn was here" and a dozen notes that say "Fuck elves" lying around
>Leave him alive so he can tell his friends
>be me adventurer exploring skyrim's ruins
>get teleported to a mysterious land called falskaar
>whatever.jpg
>rescue a blacksmith
>says he owe me his life
>gives me free stuff from time to time
>every time I see him says he's eternally grateful
>attempt to use his forge
>accidental steal an iron ingot
>ohshitbroimsorry.jpeg
>he doesn't seem to react, cool fam
>later
>he hired 3 heavily armed bandits to kill me
>doesn't acknowledge it
>keeps giving me stuff from time to time
>still says he's eternally grateful
this fucking guy
>Be me
>Hanging around Whiterun
>Sneeze
>Fire comes out
>Everyone dies
>Shite
Kek
>Captain! Niralda has been killed!
>really? what happened?
>i dunno sir. Some "dragonborn" cut off her head and left a note!
>what does it say?
>fuck elves
>be nord in the rags
>imperial cunt says it's my turn
>yeah yeah been through this before
>look up at mountain and wait for Alduin
>executioner is getting ready to swing
>any second now
>wait alduin is just sitting there smirking?
>he knows
>get beheaded
>game over
Sorta you can make it so friends of a certain value wont rape you, people with a high morale (aka morale citizens) arousal could cone into play as well as sexuality, also combine defeat with dead or alive your money or your life and you'll have a ton of different options if you get defeated in combat, (here's my settings atm) say I get knocked down in combat lets say its bandits they take turns raping me I give myself more and more humiliating tattoos for each assailant and how they used me, they all have there turn, that's what daymorl(dead or alive your money or your life) kicks in I could be sold into slavery (simple slavery) could become there prisoner, I could wake up somewhere left for dead getting rescued or maybe even robbed by opportunists
Got drugged huh?
>be mere wood elf
>I am no dragon born I am but a wood elf
>skip main quest to kill all who speak bad about elves
>kill every shopkeeper that stocks dried elf ear out of spite
>live life as wood elf
...
> double redguard
I love you user.
>boot up skyrim after installing 20 graphical mods
>be a cat-man
>make him a black panther, with the tallest possible height set
>Named him 'Elastic Joe'
>got out of the starting bit naked and with dager
>whathappensnow.jpg
>encounter the orc chick and cut her up
>steal her drugs
>become a skooma addict
>vow to kill other non black cat-men and steal their skooma to fuel my addiction
>the people of skyrim shall remember Elastic Joe, the lanky, black supremacist drug addict
>uninstall the game
that's pretty elaborate.
>Be dunmer
>Enter Markarth
>Stop a murderer
>Guy tells me I dropped a note
>Read it
>fuck elves
Sounds fucking neat. is there a way to change how common this is though? I don't wanna end up in slavery every time something goes wrong or a shout doesn't work. By the way is sexlab very stable? My skyrims already a glitchy mess because of scripts and shit. i could swap out a vanilla skyrim though.
Huehue
>be me
>running to rorikstead
>mamoth spawns in sky
>falls on giant
>both are kill
>m4w
>dunmer
>fuck elves
My sides
Sexlab is stable but if your skyrim is already shit id suggest a clean install and make sure to grab the newest version of the unofficial skyrim patch legendary edition
The whites just like in real life
Wow! Best thing I've read in so long!
k. i already have two different skyrims stored away somewhere so a clean install shouldn't be hard. hopefully steam cloud won't be a fucking arsehole and re-install my mods.
>Be me
>Lvl 50 Nord master of the companions, archmage of the college of winterhold, slayer of Alduin, collector of bones, bard, master of all trades, thane of everything and assassin of the emperor.
>Ride into Whiterun on my modded in skeletal mammoths with laser-eyes that farts tornadoes.
>Clad from toe to brow in the finest armor bestowed upon me by the God's themselves, my 6 foot sword resonating with the claimed souls of countless victims.
>Stop by my house which is stacked to the ceiling with dragon bones and the finest jewels and treasure.
>'Do you get to the cloud district very often'?
>Strike Nazeem with >9000 damage, setting him on fire, freezing him, electrocuting him, chopping his head and limbs off all at the same time
>Later I would find his disembodied head in a near Solitude
>3 civilians and 2 guards dead by the area of effect
>Jon Battleborn is a pile of ash
>My deathmammoth is gone, never to be seen again
>Little bastard kid: "I thought adventurers were supposed to be tough"
>mfw
Also a bit of advice don't get sanguins debauchery not gonna lie its a great mod, what it does is if some one knocks you down rapes you blablahblah daymoyl kicks in they can make you there personal slave, great concept great mod but its very buggy and doesn't play well with others
Anyone have a solid list of compatible mods for better realism? I have never heavily modded skyrim before, just HD mods or things like that and I want to get back into it, help me out
Kekd so fucking hard at this
what was your face like.
B...but elf ear is just an herb...
...
k. thanks for the advice. might check it out later.
>no more spinning ragdolls
>minty's lightning
>Fire and ice overhaul (i suggest disabling ice. it's awful)
>revenge of the enemies
>Creature size variants
>AI overhaul
>realistic ragdolls and physics
I know i have others but i can't remember them at this time.
>Be me
>Playing skryim while on skype
>Have hypnosis mod because they talk instead of moan like zombies
>Victims must have low hp to hypnotise
>Grill in conversation talks about some random shit that happened
>Raiding a bandit camp
>See stronk mage with low hp
>Try to use hypnosis spell
>miss
>Companion runs ahead and kills mage
>autosave
>grill in skype says something like "I didn't mean to cause trouble.. I jus-"
>scream "YOU FUCKING WHORESACK!"
>be Breton
>Seek out the power of oblivion and mastery over the forces of life
>Become unstoppable juggernaut of summoning monsters and healing.
>all material possessions no longer matter
>forsake all armour and weapons, run around in rags and flowers.
>broker peace in skyrim through sheer intimidation though army of daedra
>defeat the worldeater with bare hands and demons.
think he means falmer ear
>be me
>bandit
>looting old ruins
>a nord wearing nothing but a loincloth wielding a mace draws near
>shout skyrim belongs to the nords
>die
>Draugr Deathlord
>FUS RO DAH
>fall off cliff in Wolfskull Cave
>die
>karma.jpg
Kekt hard
My laafs belong to u
LOL @ his face.
Fuck yo cloud district motherfucker!
gem