>be me >road trip with faggots >has to drop a nagasaki while on the road >sees a rest stop >run into the bathroom like a speed demon >gonna blow >takes the farthest stall >didnt see mysterious object in front >sit down drop the bomb >smells funny >look down >look under my pants >mfw >someone took a hiroshima on the floor >ohshit.jpeg >panic >tries to take pants off >shoe falls on shit >whatdo >send sos message >"grab me some pants" >comes with new pants >lifts shit covered pants to move to the corner >drips onto my arm >killme >start changing >hears janitor come in >sees pants and shit on the floor >fuckdat.avi >grabs shoe and runs for the door >sees a line of woman outside >looks at the door >womans bathroom >awolnation - run >bout to get into car >sees shit covered shoe >throw it into the trees next to me >get in car >0-60 2.3 seconds >drive with socks for 78 miles >faggots laughing at me whole way >public bathrooms >never again >shit
>be me on date with girl >live in small college town se we walk to mexican restaurant >walking back i notice something awful happening in my bowels >it becomes severe and my walking is effected >she becomes alerted and aware of my gastrointestinal distress >we live in same dorm building so i tell her my plan >get to building and have her run ahead to get door >will be using common area bathroom >i hobble in behind >my shoes are making fart sounds and she thinks its me >get to common area bathroom >rip pants off and lose a button in process >never wearing button fly pants again >start shitting before butt meets seat >i made it. Im clear >finish and stand up and look >i had accidentally sprayed shit all over the wall and toilet >maximum splatter factor >someone is knocking on bathroom door >immediate panic >vomit in toilet >spend a half hour cleaning shit off of wall with paper towels >finally get it looking okay >wash my hands and pull on pants and run upstairs >mfw next day someone says that bathroom smelled like beer cheese and they didnt know why
Jayden Nguyen
my days been pretty good >have to take a shit >miss hits floor >oh well but some asshat flew by me going like 100 mph being laughed at kek
Joshua Richardson
lost hard. Good going OP i had a good laugh
Cameron Brown
Be me out with a friend who we will call Sarah. >Decide to go to store for pizza and shit >Bowels rumble but its alright just fart and thats that. >Grab couple pizzas, some pop chips shit like that >Obesity was made that day >Start walking home >Around 45 minute walk home and again my bowels rumble this time I can no longer hold it >I ran leaving her with my backpack that easily weighed 30 pounds and ran home >I ended up shitting my pants on the way up the stairs to my washroom >She arrives 10 minutes later asking what happened and I told her honestly. >She laughed her ass off saying she hasn't been feeling to well as well >Food poisoning from her mothers place. >Fml shit my pants from my friends mothers cooking. Got more shitty stories if anyone wants, got more funny ones if you want.
Carter Barnes
>be me >freshmen >gym class >free play >walks by a junior nigger playing ball >asks me to get his rebound >kick to him lightly >he goes gets ball >I sit down >he walks up to be with ball in hand >then throws it at my face >emotional.jpg >says I shouldve given the ball to him >I try to get up from bench >tells me to sit down boi >I get up ready to punch him >thinking that he's a junior >tells me I won't do shit >I don't >later comes back to sit next to me >tells me how he was a gang banger from Chicago >Tells me if I what to fight him after school >no >class is over Give the niggers their ball
Lincoln Campbell
>kicks him the ball lightly
Jackson Butler
"if I what to fight him after school" -Nigger
how did you not laugh in his face for his awful grammar? lol
Gabriel Peterson
>be me >work at an envelope factory >in charge of quality control and making sure machines don't fuck up >(yes there is quality control in a fucking envelope factory) >fuckinghatethisjob.jpg >boss is faggot >co workers are pieces of shite >find amazing new job opportunity one day >got job >last week of envelope job I fill a plastic bottle with as much of my semen as possible >during machine checks on last day( I usually do it alone), I pour the semen in the huge envelope glue mixer >mfw millions are licking my semen >mfw no one found out Still don't regret this to this day.
Gavin Bell
I sent in some bills today through the mail.
Jaxon Morris
>be me >Having shit day >try to play a Prince of Persia Warrior Within >Feeling better about self >a few hours pass > Sneeze > For no reason bowls decide to let loose >ass lets out brown liquid >Run upstairs to clean and take off everything >Just go to bed and fucking die a little >mfw
Kayden Torres
>be me, 15 and freshman in high school >excited for my first day >first day is always outdoors >i brought sunglasses so i could stare at ass all day >pleasure.jpg >feel a heat in my stomach >feelsbadman.gif >i run to the bathroom >open the nearest stall >look up and find two guys fucking >one jizzes in the others mouth >puke.mov >they look over surprised because i had just puked all over the floor >they dont stop >one pulls out and tries to jizz on me >i punch him in the dick >run away >both kids got expelled >consider suicide
>freshmen >finals in spanish class >sitting behind a girl with short skirt >she leads over >open my eyes wide >I can see her thong going in her pussy >friend next to me ask if I saw what he saw >I still couldn't believe it My first encounter with pussy
Noah Martinez
You'll be tellin this to your grandchildren one day user
Jack Hall
>be me >becoming more sick as my 16'th approaches >16'th arrives, hang with friends >1 week later still feeling worse and worse >see doctors >doctor "boss you hab canca"
Jack Allen
Kek
Anthony Turner
>Be in 6th grade computer class >student teacher today >probably in her 20's >surrounded by others >everyone is looking at her and shes like 8ft away from me >suddenly i get aroused by her >start jacking it off I need to explain the technique >pull penis through boxers slit >maneuver erection against tightness of fleece pants >wiggle legs back and forth >eventually i'm able to ejaculate by doing this >look around once i'm finished >people staring at me >no one says a word
Anthony Edwards
›be me >shoveling snow to get money since where i lived had alot of snow in the winter >walking down street need to take shit >no store or house anywhere near >need to run to make it to closest store >mfw cant run with snow shovel >clunky.png >12 year old minds best idea was to burry it in the snow >Find spot near side of road > Start sprinting tword nearest gas station store all the while plugging bumhole >my stomah starts doing backflips > gets to gas station >Brisk walk to back of store. >mfw bathroom needs a key > bumhole almost bursting at the gate > asks cashier for key >for paying customers only > uses some snow shoveling money to buy pack of gum quick > gets key >Bolts for door >shits pants before key fits in lock >goes in bathroom to finish deuce >hot and slimey.jpg >cleans up as much shit as i can from my leg and underwear >leaves underwear in toilet idfk why >shit all in my boots and socks >decides best bet would be to go home and clean this up > leaves shit on floor and toilet >gives back key >never goes back there cause fuck that > has to walk home with shit soaked socks and boots >could hear it squish down with every step > Probably left behind brown shit trail
Caleb Jenkins
btw forgot about the shovel never went back for it
