ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

ITT: POST YOUR SECRETS

From previous thread

I convinced my ex gf to have sex with a friend's dog and she loved it

i blackmailed my step sister to suck my cock...i know im going to hell for it

I started a shitty thread on Sup Forums. I'm OP btw.

Go on...

yeah, we spoke a bit a few months back, you shared some censored pics/vids, was good shit.

hot

my mom's car tried to finger me in the back of my mom's friend.

Might as well try again.

Sup Forums I'm an over protected "child" (already 20) and I won't be allowed to visit my boyfriend unless I have a hotel reservation (which I can't because everything is booked). Is this convincing enough? Biggest lie of my life.

used to have sex with my sister. it stopped several years ago.

im a cop in baton rouge

My secret is that i believe the FBI make these threads to get people to admit their crimes.

I lost the game

you need more foil on your hat

I have very... specific preferences for porn. That in which even Sup Forums will think weird.

Dark hair.
White Skin.
Preferably red head.
Lesbian (girl on guy is strange to me)
European.
Kind of wild.
(This is why I like Cait in Fallout 4)
And strangest of all...

I don't like nude.
The sight of exposed tits or pussy is just kind of a turn off.

Also, I don't like too reveling clothes. Underwear is as far as I go.

Also, the act of sex is foreign to me, including any porn, I draw everything I get horny to.

I've also never masturbated.

Help me Sup Forums

Jo sieht gut aus
Aber was geht mit deinen eltern?

wow, you must have eaten a lots of clowns today

i wipe before i shit not after

Shared in previous thread as well


I am completely obsessed with online ageplay roleplay.

the Steve Jobs of shitting.

>dat innovation.

I have 12 friends only one is a girl with a momfriend

you fucking deviant. kill yourself.

That depends, if you're trying to dupe your parents and they don't read German then yea that looks fine. What is it supposed to be? A hotel Itinerary?

NiceMeme

Nice meme

i was phone.

I know exactly how to fix the system but I retain the solution on purpose.

Nice Meme

I am a cop and I profile people

Particularly young African American males mostly because its an easy collar. Never had the opportunity to shoot one though

NICE MEME

Hi againl. Ever done anything non-vanilla in real life? Your bf might not share your Ageplay love, but does he have other kinks? Do you?

Hahaha

nice meme

Idk man, they are being delusional (sorry, only English)

Yeah, it's supposed to be a reservation. Lucky me, they don't know any German. I just need it to look convincing.

n i c e

m e m e

>Never had the opportunity to shoot one though

top kek.

are blacks really that fucked up, or is it just a personal prejudice of yours?

>cereal question.

N
I
C
E

M
E
M
E

Are you severely autistic?

Fuck off and play Pokemon Go.

N i c e m e m e

asexual with a gf who's pretty annoyed by it

Nice meme..

nice meme!

I havent done heroin in 4 days and i feel like shit

Oh definitely. Ageplay is far from my only kink. Very into rough sex of the choking, slapping, hair pulling, name calling variety so we engage in that regularly.

I enjoy assplay, both giving and receiving so we dabble in that occasionally.

Had an ex that was big into pet play.

Nice meme, tinfoil hatter

i occasionally crossdress

used to do it for extra pocket money, still sometimes with my gf, not so much online anymore.

Miss getting new lingerie and outfits

its not a meme yet.

>im working on it.

Nice meme! How's middle school?

I groped my sister while she slept a couple of times.
I think she knows, but she won't tell anyone because she's an aspie.

i have a friend going through withdrawal at the moment, shit sucks i wouldnt know cause ive never been on heroin bad like that but 4 days is a hell of a accomplishment

Im fuck buddies with my friend's gf's 13yo sister, have been for a couple months

What the dvwæzcdn is thes

Nice meme....One away from quads

It'll get better dude. I'm like 50 days off heroin right now. The first couple weeks are the worst. I was on that shit for 4 years, haven't felt better and feeling better every day still. Stay strong Sup Forumsro

Greetings, my name is Dr. Samuel Herman. I hold a diploma in Pathophysiology and Psychiatric Disorders and I've partnered with a team of neuroscientists to participate in an ongoing investigation regarding your behaviour. My colleagues, upon viewing your post, were fascinated by your mental and physical illnesses, and are currently concluding that the most effective way of treating your illnesses is to insert your head in a bucket of water for a prolonged period. Once the bubbles stop coming out of your mouth, we can be assured that the retardations have been cured.

I talked my gf into fingering her younger sister

honestly, yes they are. By far they are the most antagonistic and find it very difficult to follow simple directions.

>Sir can I pls have your license and registration?
>Naw fuck off you fucking pig, you just racist, you hate blacks!!
>well no actually you were doing 90 in a 60 you fucking ape

Just do as you're told, following directions and you will at the very least remain breathing.

Nice meme,.

I want to get into this, when did you start?
Did you camwhore? Where did you get your stuff from?

Did you watch? How old was the sister? Was the sister up for it?

I have debilitating anxiety that I keep on the DL, and most people have no idea that there's anything wrong with me. I constantly have racing thoughts and horrible physical side effects that can only be allievared with exercise and alcohol. Sometimes it gets so bad that my muscles will spasm uncontrollably and constant waves of adrenaline will cause me to get really nauseous and sometimes make me feel close to an orgasm. I feel like I've come close to a psychotic break multiple times. Not sure what to do about this.

(the guy who asked me if i believe in god)

I thought a lot about this. Also I had long conversations with my teacher who was a priest. so he told me, everything can be god, you just have to believe in it. so god can also be a charm, something like friendship or a huge bearded man up in the sky. and I gues he's right.
So I don't believe in that bearded man that was creating everything. I believe in nature, but not in the humans. I cant understand that fanatic religious hings going on, because I think, everyone should believe in what they want to believe in and not what they were told by others.
it's hard to describe in english, I hope you know what I mean. I'm sorry for confusing you.

i started when i was around 18 or so, for money when i was 22ish? only dressed for a few nights each month or so. Stuff mostly from gifts or private sessions, not so much from camsites

She record it for me.
Gf was 16 sister was 13. She wasn't very interested but she pushed it quite a lot showing her hardcore lesbian videos and eventually she let her try it. She was a bit off at first squirming and such but eventually let it happen

Nice meme. You can't differentiate between shitposting and actual idiocy. I suggest superheating a fork and inserting it into your rectum.

I'm posting this with a carrot up my ass

ive met some cool as fuck cops in my time and only two not so much. seemed to have a stick up their ass for some reason.

is it true that you guys have quotas for tickets?

cause once I got a ticket for a rolling stop at 3 AM with not a single vehicle coming from miles away. it was just me and the cop.

even told the cop that, but he didnt give a shit.

Pics or GTFO

Greetings, my name is Dr. Samuel Herman. I hold a diploma in Pathophysiology and Psychiatric Disorders and I've partnered with a team of neuroscientists to participate in an ongoing investigation regarding your behaviour. My colleagues, upon viewing your post, were fascinated by your mental and physical illnesses, and are currently concluding that the most effective way of treating your illnesses is to insert your head in a bucket of water for a prolonged period. Once the bubbles stop coming out of your mouth, we can be assured that the retardations have been cured.

Who did you do it for, like an escort service? How did you get started?

My best friend and I used to watch my baby-brother at that time take a shit while my mother was taking a nap.
We used to stick straws in it to look at it from the inside.

Fucked my best friends sister. No one knows that we did and that friend is standing next to me. Btw she was 7/10

>We used to stick straws in it to look at it from the inside

Fuck I wish I could see that video. How often do you fap to it?

What's next? eating her out?

I'm here all summer losers.

...

Das ist ein schönes meme.
Entschuldigen sie bitte, kenne ich das worter für 'meme' nicht (ich bin amerifag, ich studiere deutsch für Arbeit.)

Kek. Nice meme, anonerino

my bisexual ex bf got together with a guy shortly after we broke up and now I get feelings of disguise everytime I see gays make out with each other eventhough I have nothing against it.

I have had a huge crush on a girl (13-16) that I (24-27) taught maths twice a week, for three years. Sexual fantasies included.

Nice meme. You're fucking gross.

Unfortunately it was a few years ago now so it won't be happening.
I still watch the videos every few days, nothing compares to seeing her fingers knuckle deep.

The plan was to get her younger sister to lick her first, that was what she was mist interested in. Had it all planned out.

Nice meme. Once again, you're fucking gross.

old man here.

used to get handjobs from my mother when i was 12.

in her defense, she was fucked up on drugs back then and i dont really care now.

Ching chong potato

My mom's finger once sister back of my car's mom.

Nice meme! Gave me a kek or two.

I have a secret facebook

add me on your fake accounts to help me flesh it out


Sky Leche

Was she hot?

I have a homosexual attraction towards my best friend

Nah just him

i pick my nose and eat the bugger

Here you go now fuck off

I'm a huge faggot that says nice meme to everybody ITT

Nice copypasta. It ain't a meme yet.

I will be honest, I am a pretty chill cop.

I will treat you with respect and probably let you off with a warning if you are polite and follow my directions.

We do not have quotas for anything, it's a myth. The only thing that we have remotely close to quotas is random breath testing. We don't have to "ticket people" we just have to test them. Test milestones change depending on the season.

That is shitty that you got a ticket for that. I probably would have pulled you over and just given you a quick check but so long as you were chill I wouldn't book you. That cops sounds like a cunt.

Kek

650 for a hotel reservation of 5 nights is retarded if all you want is be with someone.

You could literally take the train to another country, rent 5 nights there, and train back for less than that.

Also, your parents are idiots. They'd better come to peace with the fact that you're a fucking human being, with the same desires that your parents had *when they brought you into this fucking world*.

just online. as i said, was mainly just a hobby rather than a job. filled up a few bags of new lingerie, and a few bucks on the side every now and then