ID this bug please?

ID this bug please?

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his name chris

its a jiminy cricket

no, no, that's Dan

buggie-doo with antlee-doos, and leggy-wigglies

its a bug

it's a beatle.

he named chris

where do you live op

Difficult without a geographical location.

It's a longhorned beetle of some sort, though.

he chris

There are those that would call him Tim

its jizzmle

body looks like a beetle but the head looks like a grasshopper

crickets' posterior legs are thicker to allow them to jump, this looks more like some beetle

dont matter we know his name

he chris

Bugs don't work that way. It's a beetle.

Imma need some ID mister bug.

quebec

Weta? Looks somewhat like one

it's a devil's fart
they call it devil's fart because it shoots acid from it's bum
it's also known as a devil's sting, because if you touch it with your flesh, it stings after 20 minutes due to an acidic protective layer it has around it's body, its limbs, everything
it's also known as a devil's bug because it secretes acid in the air and if you've seen it you're fucked. in 30 minutes after you've seen it, you've already inhaled the acid and what's worse the acid hits your eyes and your lips and shit so your whole face will sting and your eyes will water and swell shut because the acid causes cancer
op you're fucked

man chris dont do that

who the fuck is chris? op you'd better rush yourself to the hospital where they'll remove your eyes because of the cancer.
you're blind, g

no

fine, just let the cancer spread to your brain
it won't kill you though, it will attack very specific areas of your brain and make you a vegetable

Not 100% sure on species, but it looks like a poplar borer.

bugguide.net/node/view/14776

The adults are harmless to you, but may bite if pissed off. Not at all venomous, their bites are basically just pinches. The larvae eat through wood in the trunks of trees.

It appears to be a pest on poplar trees, so it's up to you whether or not you should kill it.

YO CHRIS!

wher u ben

Thats a South American Knob Gobbler.

Its fine just don't let it near your knob.

right on. you get a cookie

upvoting this

Darude-Sandstorm

penis gigantitus

definitely chris

its a "OH FUCK KILL IT WITH FIRE xD"