Currently pissing out of my asshole right now Sup Forums, it's pretty bad

Currently pissing out of my asshole right now Sup Forums, it's pretty bad.

It's been non-stop for a good half hour. Wat do?

Not even blood coming out. You're a pussy

drink lots of water so you don't become dehydrated and use wet wipes or just rinse off in the shower so you don't make your asshole raw

Did you recently eat a large sugar-free chocolate dessert?

kill yourself is always an option

Nolan?

keep shitting . pepto will only keep the virus inside

Eat more fibers

...

Does it matter what color fibers?

Wut

Bread, cereal (no milk) and grannola bars.

Stick a cork in your ass.

Will do boss
No I did not. I did eat chocolate a little bit ago but I don't think that's it
Such as?

Just got out, for now. This is pretty sudden, I woke up and had to shit. I used to be a daily logger until a month or two ago when my shits suddenly started becoming like a frozen yogurt kinda deal. No major changes in lifestyle/diet that I can think of. I can already feel that I'm not out for long.

usually an allergy to something. Like peanuts. Have you ate alot of peanuts lately? if so, stop.

timestamp

sharpie in pooper
>obviously

Once I got food poisoning.
In the middle of the night I woke up with the urge to shit, I just made it out of the room, I fell on the ground and I started shitting and vomiting all over myself

Nolan the Liar from One Piece

The only anime I ever enjoyed. Maybe with Lupin.

he didn't lie tho

I ate a lot of Reese's peanut butter cups but that was two days ago but I think threw most of it up the same night (acute nicotine poisoning).

Crohns maybe? Is this the first time this happened?

>acute nicotine poisoning
let me guess you tried a vape?

Drink Pedia lite. Its better than water. If it goes on for days you might need to go to emergency and get antibiotics and i.v. i had it happen to me from food poisoning. No fun

Virus going around here has put everyone in the doghouse.

> Mother-in-law gets up and quickly walks to the bathroom next to the den. I'm sitting in chair closest to door.
> As soon as the door shuts and I hear shit splattering. Like gallons of pudding hitting the tile floor.
> Go to bedroom and lie down, surf Sup Forums.
> Wifie comes in and tells her mom felt sudden urge, went to send liquid shit to poo town, dropped her Gam-gam panties but then suddenly had to throw up. She turns and when she bends over and hurls, and BOTH EXITS NO WAITING happens.
> Wife says she threw up all over the toilet and sprayed shit all over the cabinets and floor.

inb4 lies > next day, tiny bathroom smelled like sickness. I found shit splattered on baseboards and cabinet kick plate.

First time. Don't think I'd have Chrons but who knows.
Not a faggot. Tried picking up smoking again, Natural American Spirits. Not a hipster fag either.
Pedia? And might call doc if it happens tomorrow/all night. Can't do IV but antibiotics could possibly be nice. Not sure what the fuck is going on

Hey I have the same problem, but I've been shitting blood the whole day. It's liquid. What does that mean?

I'm kinda Nervous, I've never shit blood by itself before

blood is normally a fucking liquid, but definitely go see a goddamn doctor you idiot.

>been shitting blood the whole day
go to the fucking hospital!

Breh, I just went through this last week. For me it was food poisoning and went away on its own. I just got some gatorade to stay hydrated and took immodium to stop the asspissing. I had a slight fever too which I brought down with tylenol and by putting my feet into saltwater and putting a cool rag on my forehead. My bathroom smelled really bad even when my flush game was tight as fuck so I flushed with vinegar after every flush and kept a candle in there too and used coffee grounds too.

Good luck bro hope u dont die.

Well dude id say ur ded go 2 doctor b4 u die

gastroenteritits can last for 1-3 days. Go to your local pharmacy, ask for anti-diarrhea meds and what you should take to keep your electrolytes in balance.

Pedialyte is fine, so is Gatorade but at pharmacies they sell electrolyte tablets that you can either just mix with water or take in pill form that will stave of electrolyte imbalance. Typically low potassium is one of the concerns with mass amounts of diarrhea.

you need to get that blood back into your system or your fucked OP. Better start filtering the blood out of your diarrhea and ingest it.

Buckle Up!

Probably not anything like Crohn's since it just happened. Usually there's a history of intestinal issues.

Well no fucking duh it's a liquid, but usually if I see bloods it's a tiny amount in the actual shit that's solidified. I was shitting straight liquid shit and after a while it turned into a couple splashes of blood.

I don't think it's that. I have been eating some brisket I smoked but it's cooked pretty well and I smoked/cooked it for a solid 15 yesterday

...

This is the advice you need. Not really much else you can do for it besides keeping up fluids and waiting it out.

ppl who post pics of their shit on Sup Forums are such fucking scumbags. fuck you faggot

gluten strikes again

Drink a lot of water or you will die of dehydration

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Too much gluten?

Worst bait I've seen all day

classic.

now post your epigraph user?

You want a cure? Colonic. Mix soy milk with water, half a liter each. pour it in your ass, wait five minutes and you are cured.

You're too hydrated OP. Stop drinking water, get out in the sun if you can, and maybe drink a few beers to try to help get some of that extra water out your pee hole before you drain too many nutrients from your butt.

I'm a Gastroenterologist

For one, stop splashing on the toilet seat you degenerate

I hear Clorox cleans you out pretty well

fuck them tits

Drink lots of water and stick to this diet
Bananas
Rice
Apples
Toast
Also known as the BRAT diet, it will fill you up, give you the carbs you need and also a little energy to fight off the sickness. Been using it my whole life, never fails.

What everyone said but also take some multivitamins and shit when ur feeling better. You probably shat everything out already.