I was taking the trash out tonight...

I was taking the trash out tonight, and when I opened the door to my enclosed front porch this fucking monster came flying through, wings beating like helicopter blades, screeching like some kind of hell banshee! Scared the fuck out of me.

Wat do?

It`s a cicada you pussy, its nothing

How the fuck do I get it out of my house? I tried unleashing my vicious pumpkin cat to consume the monster buy she let it escape. Pic of the lazy bitch related.

You kill it you puss

That's no moon...

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It's an insect, not a negro.

catch it, put in microwave for 3 minutes, take pics

cicada

Go to war with it. Throw a shoe grenade at its ass. And get a blanket or towel. Throw it at it on the wall all crunched up hard and it'll disorient it until you can give it the shoe cleaver (chopping motion)

Electric fly swatter will make it scream

Sounds spoopy

Cicadas don't have mouths, so they can't even bite, you weenie.

This

this

MAN YOU FOUND A NINJASK!
Take good care of it, dumb.

dubs and you do it

Is it going to make my microwave stink?

Heres one I found a while ago it was loud as shit

if it does itll be gone quickly

ofcourse not

meant to attach this

I had one of these things chase me when I was a wee young lad. Still gives me the creeps.

What are you waiting for op fry the fucker

Cicadas are really cool insects, read up on them. It's been in the ground for a very long time, they're also one of the loudest insects here in the states.

Squash it and remove it. Geez...is this even need a thread on Sup Forums?

bump

Sorry, is this thread taking up space from fb fap threads, and "pics you shouldn't share" threads, or "reply or your mother is in her sleep" threads?

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Here's some oc of the alien attack on Mercedes superdome in nola

catch it and put it in the freezer. It will be dead in 15mins. No mess or smell.

your cat must be defective because every cat ive seen loves murdering these things

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You must destroy it.

Pretty sure she is retarded. Find her in a parking lot.

I think the obvious answer is that you should eat it.

The less obvious answer would be to sautee it with some onions and garlic first

It's in. You guys sure about this?

Do it faggot

Yeah man. What could possibly go wrong?

Dont, thing is harmless you sick fuck

Hey man, I'm under a lot of pressure here...

My dog used to eat them when they were buzzing around on the ground.

ITS HAPPENING

My god I have that same model microwave oven

>sautee
I thought you were supposed to deep fry them?

That microwave filthy as fuck. And you worried the bug will make it smell?

Your microwave is filthy

I got it for free from a buddy.

I realized I had this piece of shit out in my office. If I used the fancy one in the house my wife would kill me.

Just do it

If dubs put it in your wife food

DO IT

Ideally, but not everyone has a deep fryer or enough oil to fill a saucepan. Everything tastes good with butter, garlic, and onion though so it's an acceptable alternative

yep, they will eat your little pink girls

Let's go faggot op

DO IT FAGGOT

It's like 3AM here and i want to see the result, hurry up

what's takin so long OP

Takes time to splatter a cicada

With the toxic radiation waves of an old shitty microwave op didn't expect what was about to happen. The Cicadas moleculs rearanged thus expanding the creature tenfold. Breaking free of its captivity it killed op and flew away in the moonlight. Now creating the superhero known as cicada man.

Not even a good one, just the normal green kind

I lost a little to this

This.

OP is kill

This.

Or the radiation leaking from the old microwave caused a fusion of DNA between cicada and OP. Giving him superhuman cicada-like powers. He can bzzzzzzzz louder than any other human. And looks grotesque as fuck.

Bump.

bumporoni

Boy I sure hope this resolves before I'm done take'n a poo.

Not a cicada but relevant

Pics or it didn't happen

Loud noise and turns into goop.


Or radioactive cicada man.

I believe that one to be more likely, the cicada does have a strong exo skeleton thus reflecting the radiation waves back causing an explosion the rearanged ops DNA. He's still a faggot ofcorse.

OP is that you?

Timestamp faggot

OP is commiting insecticide.

Op, let it go. It's harmless, and makes bad ass sounds

I wonder if his wife will leave him. Or if they'll have freaky Inter-species cicada sex.

You don't get it. Op is the cicada now! The transformation is complete.

Not OP, just wanted to add my two cents

Come on u cunt

If its anything like the movies, hell yeah. He needs some motivation to find himself. Plus we all know he was gay from the start having a wife would drag him down.

OP here.

Enjoy the pic of me and my wife having sex

Not much to see here on the loo.
Getting over a cold, purple Powerade made ma boo green. Other than that 7/10 poo so far.

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catch it and kill it or punch it where it sits. Either works, but if there's one there's a thousand-million more and you're fucked for a month of loud screeching sounds till they lay eggs and finally die.
They don't bite or anything, they're harmless but really annoying and loud.

>you're fucked for a month of loud screeching sounds till they lay eggs and finally die

Cats lay eggs?

> Not a cicada
> Relevant
pick 1

I thought it was the cat too

The cicada lays eggs. I was responding to "how do I get it out of the house" not your picture.

God dammit, he only asked 1 question in the entire post.

They can try to feed on you, which is not very pleasant.

I've never had one bite me, and I used to catch them all the time.

DO IT FAGGOT! DO IT FAGGOT! DO IT FAGGOT! DO IT FAGGOT! DO IT FAGGOT!
DO IT FAGGOT! DO IT FAGGOT! DO IT FAGGOT!

Pic of shitty old filthy empty microwave. Feel free to exploit.

its been 3 minutes...

Microwave gape.

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You obviously don't look tasty enough to the cicada.

Strap an M80 to a remote controlled car.
Go all robot war on it's ass.

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choke on a dick

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Lmao op you big fucking pussy. If dubs eat