Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

AIDS. But...like a lot of AIDS. Spac AIDS!

This thread gave me cancer doc

I loved this television program. Late 90s master race

Oh, my apologies. My holomatrix was offline for a moment. Lie down on the bed there.

And you, next to him.

Glad you enjoyed it, Ensign. Now please, exit the sickbay.

Doc I don't know what to say.
I've been having some really strange dreams of late.

Dreams are (apparently) a gateway to one's innermost fears and desires. I'd suggest you 'play out' these dreams in one of the holodecks.

things always smell like dandruff. I don't understand why

Are you sure you're not a humanoid alien, Ensign?

my palm is itchy

Doc, it burns when I pee...

You may have contracted an alien STD. Have you been having...'relations' during shore leave?

Chlamydia. A common STI of the 20th and 21st Centuries. 500 milligrams of coaxellene.

Weird boners doc, esp when i look at old men and their fat bellies.

That's hardly a 'medical emergency.'

Computer, erase the emergency medical hologram, authorization code Janeway-8-4-1-Alpha-6-5.

COMPUTER, BELAY THAT ORDER!

Captain, you said you wouldn't do that anymore.

Not weird boners, i mean my teef hurr.

I'm a doctor, not a dentist.

Furragangee nigger messed wit my grill

Oh sure, blame the Ferengi.

Computer, revoke the emergency medical hologram's control authorizations.

I lied, doctor. Now please, shut up and wallow in oblivion.

This is the best thread in a long while.

Way to be a killjoy Captain.

But captain, why? I was just starting to like Doc.

I'm surprised you would object Paris, I don't remember you objecting that much when I killed Tuvix ;)

I saved my ex from a heroin overdose today.... cut my thumb on the Nalaxone ampule, that is the second persons life I have saved it feels crazy... mostly only doctors get to experience that just thought I would share.