Does Anyone else struggle to connect with people in real life...

Does Anyone else struggle to connect with people in real life. Not just connect with them but be able to understand their mindset and empathize with them as well.

I had a girl over tonight. First time in a while, been doin the whole "self improvement" thing, got a car, good social skills, working out for 2 years. Woooohh big moments and stuff, I did it and am now hanging out with girls!!

And I have them over and I just feel nothing. I cant understand how they are thinking or why the fuck they are saying what they are saying and theres just no clicking with anyone anymore.

I can do shallow surface convos, but I cant actually "get" any deeper with people. I cant relate to or click with them. Girls especially, but guys as well. Just using girls as an example cause I'm reentering the dating world and this disconnect from reality is seriously killin any acheivements I get.

I feel like an alien playing the role of a normal 21 year old male and I feel like who I am isnide needs to just be hidden cause no one seems to be slightly like me or think like me.

and no one makes me feel anything man. I go through succesful social itneractions and ace interviews and conversations with other college kids and I'm making friends and going to parties and I just. feel. nothing from it.

Not even the "oh this lifestyle is a lie and everyone blows" kinda deadness that a lot of guys on here say they feel when they go to parties. Like "wow this is all so fake". Not that kind. The kind of dead where you just feel numb. You talk with people and they are smilinga nd you are smiling but right bellow that you just feel grey or nothing. It just doesnt mean anything at all and you dont get how everyone esle can just talk and talk and seem to get something out of it.

Good luck with that. I've felt the same for years now.

Essentially that doesn't matter, because "other people" are quantum constructs, IE: Each person is living in their own reality tunnel, not all tunnels connect or even intersect, just learning to accept difference can be a good way to remove it, or reduce separation delusion, and can help with seeing where the connections are as the separation is circumstantial anyway. The maths says You are those other people RIGHT NOW in another universe. So YOU don't connect to you either.

Plus, a lot of people are really only as shallow as a hello. get into acquiring knowledge, then worthy people will present themselves to you through merely through their actions and words.

I just keep having these fantasies i nmy head.

I just need to lose my virginity.
I lose it, it means nothing.
I just need to fall in love. Go to a legit party. Fuck an actual sloot. Just gotta man up, go out and climb a mountain.

And I do these things. And there is nothing, ntohing at the top ofany of these things and I keep seeing people come to these same realizations and they seem to be able to find some sort of comfort in eachother. They seem to really need their friends and family as some sort of emoitonal support and I just. dont. feel that. for anyone. I dont have anyone I can think of that would make me FEEL more human, like theres a meaning, like for a moment its not just me

how about you start by hetting friends instead?

I have friends. Have had friends all my life. LIke actual good normie style ones.

I'm def normal well adjusted decent looking successful person by Sup Forums standards and normal person standards.

idk man this is hard as hell for me to put into words but I feel like other people who struggle to click, even with good firends and family ,get what im saying.

Like people think they are developing a bond with you but you just feel almost as if you are going through the motions and just creating the scenario of best friends, acting out this role with your best friends, without actually feeling it.

could no tunnels ever connect? Does the larger lower class of society always just stay shallow and never feel these connections either without realizing it?

i kinda know that

3 solutions:
either you change your circle of "best" friends until you find "real" friends

or you change yourself and start trusting others

or you become dumb and feel "it" like a mindless sheep

good luck

quick questions:
are you socializing with your friends by meeting them daily?
are you the person who always writes thirst?

yes I live in dorms and I meet with friends daily.

No i am not the person who writes first. My friends often seek me out and visit my dorm when there is not much to do, and I am regularly invited to things.

I know that sounds like bullshit but take it as true for this thread if you could.

I am not the fucking stereotypical guy who posts on here when he realizes hes stuck or surreounded by people he doesnt respect or whos realizing he always messages first and they dont actually like him

i honestly think most people are #3 and that I seem to be aware more than others. But I hate that. thats exactly what pseudo bullshit people say and anyone I've ver seen say that shit in real life has always been a hippie fucktard who thinks hes deep andisnt.

so here I am, thinking I might be too smart or deep thinking for the people around me and I know the moment I say that I sound like the biggest fucking neckbeard because NO ONE. NO ONE whos ever said that and then posted their face has been a nomrmal looking motherfucke rand has always been a clear loser whos making excuses instead of facing the fact hes a fucking dweeb

if thats the case i have no idea of how to help you

maybe it's because i traded my intelligence for eternal happiness and lazyness
hmmmm

Well now I'm not sure if I'm the latter

maybe you have the wright point with a little bit of falsedom

you see, there are many people who think like that
i mean, what are the odds with 7000 000 000 people out there

but

but
please consider the plattform you communicate with AND that these weird people are proud to be weird; if they weren't, they would hate themselves so it's kinda a self defence system of the unconcius mind

HOWEVER
normalfags don't talk about that because of reasons
maybe they don't want to be seen as weirdo or like me, i get crippling depression whenever i think about that; so whenever that idea pops into my mind i try to not think about that, but until that i'm kinda depressive

i know i sound kinda edgy and i hope i have written it well enough so that you understand it

i migjt be wrong tho

>ITT aspies

>Just using girls as an example cause I'm reentering the dating world and this disconnect from reality is seriously killin any acheivements I get.
>I feel like an alien playing the role of a normal 21 year old male
been there
I took the opposite approach and decided to withdraw and just do things that genuinely made me happy instead of the things everyone thought I should be doing.

four months ago my car got totaled. I suppose it's expected an adult should own a car but, I just really don't feel like it. I get to spend more time outside this way, even though it takes longer to get places. Who cares what other people think.

>because Sup Forums is full of normal people

nah i understand you and feel the same way. Fight it for long enough and then its 11:00PM and I
m on Sup Forums because after a few months of feeling normie status that feeling returns.

I sort of still feel this way. I think it's because I don't open up with anyone.

I don't currently have friends. I go by fake names, I lie about my job and make up stories about my hobbies when I meet people.

It actually is pretty soul crushing.

same. I wonder if thta causes this. I dont want to be honest about myself no one would like me if i was like this IRL

Well basically everyone does 3 not because they are dumb, but because most people have higher threshold for conflict. People who are quicker to change themselves, or abandon previous friends, are people who are generally less sociable, because "sociable" literally is describing the people who are easy to get along with

yeah, I have to say, I've started to open up again about my hobbies a bit and it's helped.

coworkers used to be like "Oh I went skiing, I went mountain climbing, I went to a wedding in spain" and I'd be like "I watched an obscure japanese anime series". I just felt like an uber nerd. Now I have a few coworkers who play mtg, which I haven't played in years but I'm like, ok at least I can relate to these guys. We can talk about video games and I don't get blank stares

why aren't you honest?

i mean, even if you succed the newly won friends will find about your lie out one day

and then what?
"sry user i lied to you and sorry that thies friendship is based in lies"

because of the upper arguments i decided to be honest 24/7

i mean, why should i lie? if i wanted to be something else, i would try to be unnecessary how hard it might be(or i give up, as always)

i know this sounds cringy and edgy

but it feels good to know that there are other people woth similar problems

I do this too well

user, you could be a trueborn psychopath.
Embrace yourself.

Very much so
Midst and high school ruined me along with millitary dad moving us to another state every 6 months . It was so engrained into me to not make friends that it's just natural now . I just don't, not even purposely . I can still manage relationships with gfs pretty well oddly enough.

figure out what has meaning to you and what makes you feel passionate and pursue it.

you should watch/read anime/manga Relife
one of the main characters has the same story

People are shallow, it's not that your excluded from some members only club of interests and Facebook likes, but you haven't put forth the same effort to be like able as they have.

Think about what is considered good social skills, large number of friends, willingness to engage in meaningless banter, sense of popular fashion and familiarity of trends in general, ect. All done to be accepted and approved of a social force that binds together the love of acceptance and appreciation of relatability.

The gradient of happiness is tied to selfworth, and selfworth is mirrored in interactions. It's no wonder people play themselves to be the expectation, but those who don't feel alone in a world that would like to care if they had the time.

I dunno, I find I can be myself easier if I don't have to be me.

Same reason people come on this site to begin with

Dude I know exactly how you feel. I've surpressed my emotions for so long I don't know how to understand or make them work anymore. There is this girl I like now but I'm doing everything I can to not like her because of the bad decisions I make based on emotions.

>and then what?
>"sry user i lied to you and sorry that thies friendship is based in lies"
Yep.
I've run into two different friends who knew me by different names at the same place. It's awkward.

Hey like I said, it's not like I'm able to get very close to these people anyway. Friends are always a 10 foot pole away, no one really gets to know me that well so most of the time it doesn't come up.

what about family?