So I'm about to steal a handle of vodka in a few hours...

So I'm about to steal a handle of vodka in a few hours. Should be easy with the no chase policy and retards who work at Safeway. Just going to cover it with my jacket and hold it up with my left hand then walk out.

Are any of you experienced shoplifters? How often? And have you ever gotten caught?

bumperino

>with a dude I know
>walking down street in state capital
>busy busy city
>walk into 7-11
>both of us are drunk as fuck
>I forget what I was even doing there, but I think I bought a drink or something
>just as I'm turning from the counter I hear a crash and the dude goes down in a pile of candy bars quickly standing the thing back up
>"s- sorry! sorry! my bad!"
>"sheeeeeeeeeet"
>leave and ask him wtf that was
>mfw he starts pulling out so much shit he stole like fucking houdini
>MFW IT WAS A RUSE
I don't feel good about stealing but it was fuckin hilarious

Sounds spooky yet eventful, good thing I'm not dealing with minorities in this Safeway

nothin spooky about it. the indian dude (ofc) behind the counter was surprised but amused iirc, though I have no idea why. he had to clean that shit up. I mean the noise spooked me so I whirled around, but that's it

wish me luck

Bump

Sounds spooky? Are you fucking retarded? What, couldn't think of an adjective? Fuck you, I hope you die.

why do you want this bumped youre not op, i am

you forgot to take your ritalin today user, calm down

Your an idiot. I used to shoplift quite a bit. I've probably stolen easily 50+ 24 packs of beer. I got caught once by 3 people that chased me out the door and tackled me, arrested, charged with underage possession and shoplifting. That was when I was underage so it got wiped at 18... but just don't do it. It wasn't fun having to go to AA classes for a year. Or all the shit that happened with my parents.

But I suppose you'll look cool to your friends so thats a definite +.

Go in with a friend, and you wear a backpack(leave it open). Move alcohol to blindspot (cameras) Have friend quickly put alcohol in your open backpack. Split up, leave quickly, reconvene.

you're*

I'm definitely not listening to your advice now. eat shit

that sounds like a terrible idea

Back when I was 7-8, I was growing up in a not so good suburb of Minneapolis. As a white kid, I could get away with lots of shoplifting in convenience stores. I had a couple of black friends, and I was the only white boy. The clerk at this gas station (Superamerica) was slightly racist, and would always watch my friends. While the clerk watched them, I would steal stuff for me and my friends. We stole like over $600 worth of candy before I moved. I have some stories if anyone would like me to share

anyone say shit to you?

i used to steal from the actual retards that sold pencils and stuff at the school store in middle school cafeteria. they never saw it coming

Also to add to this I was caught by a hidden shopper. You'd be much better off finding a 21+ person that you can trust to not rip you off and just buy it for you. Quite literally $15-30 of alcohol is not worth it. You'd be better off spending your precious time doing something of importance like learning a trade skill so you could earn money so you wouldn't have to take these stupid risks for such a shitty reward. Time is money friend, use it well. Don't stoop to cuck level just for a shitty alcohol buzz.

not that poster but I watched two black dudes do exactly that at a pharmacy the other day

im getting babes tonight dad shut up

Fine with me, I spent my time learning a trade skill and now earn roughly $50 an hour, I can quite literally buy as much alcohol as you can steal in the same time. Obviously English is important to someone looking to steal alcohol. Critical thinking isn't your strong point is it?

>openly discussing planned crimes
>in an online post

enjoy prison rape junior, doxxing as we speak

you're trying to make a point but you're making yourself look like an ass. i dont care

why am I not surprised about that?

OP is confirmed retard. Instead of using theft skills to say rob a rich person for thousands of dollars, he is going to risk getting charged for a simple $30-40 of alcohol. Confirmed inbred and underage please ban.

I honestly can't decide if you're trolling or stupid.