Alright, Sup Forumsros. Got a lovely story of irony for you

Alright, Sup Forumsros. Got a lovely story of irony for you.

>be me
>work at convenience store
>three years running
>lives in apartment right next to work
>both store and apartment owned by same old lady
>her assistant is a fucking cunt
>fat old bitch with head that's too small
>spreads rumors about me and other employees
>let's call her Julie for now
>anyways back to the store
>autist fag who works there sold beer to a minor couple months ago
>everyone had to take a class afterwards
>one of the conditions for the owner to not be slapped with outrageous fees was to not sell beer for a week

cont.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=adYUJn7UUN8
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Keep going m8

>started closing early too, since 90% of sales is beer
>work a daytime shift by myself one day
>thought it went smoothly
>next day manager comes up to my apartment
>let's call him Ralph
>Ralph says to me
Did you know you sold beer yesterday?
>"No..."
Well we have you on camera selling beer. Do you want to look at it?
>"Sure?"
>walk with manager to the store

Cont.

Go

Leep it coming friendo.

>pulls up footage of me working yesterday
>sure as fuck, there I am selling some fuck his damn 6 pack
I'm going to have to fire you.
>"I understand..."
>fuckingpissed.jpg
>already behind on rent, gonna have to move out too
>Ralph says
I hope you know you probably cost everyone else here their jobs, too
>no way, faggot. You're just trying to guilt trip me now
>walk back upstairs to my apartment

Cont.

keep it going

>Sure enough, next day bitch Julie is banging on my door
>for like a straight hour
>finally answer, ready to deck her in the face
>"what?"
You're gonna have to move out
>"okay? I already know."
You have until the end of the month
>"Got it, whatever."
>closes door in her fat fuck face
>luckily gf agreed to let me move in with her by this point, so I didn't give a fuck

Here's where it gets tasty, Sup Forumsros

Cont.

bumping for this juicy greentext

Go on

gogogogo

faster man faster

Bump

CMON

>couple days later
>haven't even gone to the store downstairs for anything, even though it's convenient
>too afraid I might deck my (ex) manager in the schnoz
>really hot day, so I compromise
>luckily, my buddy coworker is there
>grab some drinks, get to the counter
Yo, did you hear what happened?
>yeah, I got fired
No, the other thing, man.
>what other thing?
Ralph sold to a minor yesterday man
>nofuckingway.gif
Yeah, the ALE caught him. The store's probably gonna get shut down
>oh hell yeah. That's fucking awesome man
Yeah, but apparently Julie is telling everyone that you called the ALE to come to the store because you got fired
>oh hell no
>that shit don't fly

Cont.

Ohh no that bitch didn't.

>fast forward a week
>packed up most of my stuff
>some of the furniture was already here
>somehow the store is still open
>don't care, sweet karma was reaped on my manager
>that bitch Julie needs to be put in her place though
>rage built over time
>decide to confront her finally
>go to her office
>luckily the actual landlady isn't there
>she's actually nice, don't want her to be caught in any crossfire
>think ahead luckily and decide to put my phone on record
>go into Julie's office
>"hey, I heard you've been spreading a rumor about me"
Cont.

The revenge had better be good, and untraceable..

Type more and go faster

I can't wait for the part where everybody does the dinosaur

>bitch is obviously stunned that someone actually confronted her
No, I don't know what you're talking about.
>"Well people have been telling me that you've been saying that I'm the one who called ALE because I got fired."
I would never do something like that.
>Yeah right bitch
>LITERALLY in the same breath, bitch says
It must be (other employee here), she must have made that up, she's always making things up.
>bitch just threw someone under the bus AND started another rumor in one sentence
>keep talking, this bitch is still recording
Cont.

come on you fuck

keep it coming

Did you have to be so mean?

Please. he is having a hard time thinking how to get his troll ending

Type Faster

OP is probably some edgy redneck cunt

Bump famalamanam.
Be done by the time I get out of the shower

>"Well I also know you've been spreading rumors about other employees, too. Shit gets around"
That's ridiculous. Are you saying this because you're about to get kicked out?
>"No, I'm just saying this because someone needs to confront you about it"
Well I heard (insert other employee) is about to get kicked out, too. I think he smokes weed in his apartment.
>there's another one
>"That's exactly what I'm talking about. You just did it again."
What? I'm not spreading any rumors. I'm just saying, he might be a stoner.
>"Well, I hope you enjoy yourself here in your miserable little hole. By the way, I've been recording this whole conversation."
>stunned look on her face
>I walks out without another word

Cont.

keep going..... this shit is basically my life

...

>By the way, I've been recording this whole conversation.
literally what incriminating thing did she say

she denied starting a rumour, shifting blame onto someone else who obviously didnt do it
she accused one worker of smoking weed in company housing


this shit is very mundane but this is life when you are a fulltime convience store/bodega slave withina forced community of retardation

Is OP listening to recording to tell story?

pic related

>not pretyping your entire greentext
>page 7

>forced community of retardation
Topkek

>moving day
>I'm packing everything up into a uhaul
>decided to keep coffee table because it's nice as fuck even though it belonged to the apartment
>of course bitch Julie is spying on her little camera system in her office
>comes out of the office as I pass by
Glad to see you finally moving out
>she says in a snarky tone
Now we can finally get someone else in there
>set down box
>take deep breath
>calmly walk over to her
>get right up in her face
>point finger in her chest
>low voice
>"Bitch, if you ever say anything to me again in my entire life, I swear I will destroy you. I will let everyone know everything you have ever done, and you will be so utterly humiliated that you will have absolutely no choice but to hang yourself in absolute despair."
>stunned silence
>turn around
>pick up box
>walk downstairs
>can't help but smile the whole way down
>haven't heard from the bitch since

And that's why I live with my gf now.

Bonus:

>I made sure to not to flush my shit in the apartment toilet for like a week, so that shit is clogged as fuck

>Anticlimactic ending

dies on the inside

You need to work on the ending more

>got fired, kicked out of apartment, threatened a woman, stole a coffee table

Good story.

youtube.com/watch?v=adYUJn7UUN8

>and then they walked the dinosaur in france and got hit by a goatfucker driving a truck
wew lad

I think the point was that it was ironic that the manager got caught for the same shit

Does shit ending make op a faggot?
OR WAS HE A FAGGOT ALL ALONG?!

ya'll dont get it

this is not some Sup Forums troll wincest lie story
this is some fuckin real life, mundane, idiotically petty revenge shit. This is clearly some anons life. this is the dude you buy beer from, his story. Its fucking stupid, but in this age of ridicolous extremes, a second cold war, mass shootings and terrorist attacks, this is the reality we find ourselves csaught up in

...

hahaha what the fuck?

OP here. I know it seems harsh what I said to her, but believe me, if you knew this woman for .02 seconds, you would know where I'm coming from. She is absolute scum of the earth. When children see her, they openly weep. I seriously think she gets a kick off of seeing other people miserable because her own life is shit. Believe me, she deserved every word I said.

good read thanks oopie

>you know, I learned something today

noone thinks its harsh, we think its fuckin boring and weak


wanker

>we think its fuckin boring and weak

Because it's not some made up bullshit?

/thread

I'm sure the drama was really interesting to experience from a first person perspective, whether it be you or fellow coworkers. However, it's just honestly kinda gay from everyone else's and I cam fell you're trying. I mean, decent green texting even though I can tell you're still new, you made good efforts with making interesting but the story just was very anticlimactic. The worst part is probably what you said at the end; very cringable. I feel bad for your girlfriend, I can infer this whole situation took a while to develop, mature and end so she had to hear you bitching about this for a while. Basically, she doesn't care, the guy above me doesn't care or anyone else. It's just not that good of a story, like at all. 3/10 I've read worse, and There's enough evidence to bring this whole story to trial for being a troll.

no because its fuckin boring and it took this fuckin asshole like 30 minutes to type this shit out

you're the type of fuck who doesnt read books

just another fag lookin for explosion, who cant find the abusrdity in the mundane, and hasnt had enough experiences to relatre this too. this greentext reads like another chapter from my pisspoor middle management ruined life, and this post makes me want to fucking riot in a very lowkey way

I get it OP. Tell another story, there aren't any good threads going on atm. Favorite vidya? How'd you meet your gf, how is yalls relationship

It was a mundane story, but it could have been delivered better

Just a bit of constructive criticism: that story was shit

You should have 69d her

hey man no offense but this story sucked :/

I.... ..Liked ... that story

Wait a minite of the store was not allowed to sell beer why wasnt there any kind of sign or otherwose so cuatomers didnt try in the first place?

Alright let me help you end this story.
> of course the fat bitch is spying on me seeing as she is a fucking snake. "Glad to see you moving out" she says in a snarky tone. I walk up to her, point my finger in her fat pancake tits and whisper furiously. " What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the company store, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on our competitors, and I have over 300 confirmed sales. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top cashier in the entire US armed grocers. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over at the office? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of employees across the grocery store and your voice is being recorded right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can record you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in stealthy phone recording, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States grocery store brigade and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
> can't help but smile the whole way down.
> haven't heard from the bitch since. And that's how I live with my gf.

Lmao