What's your most embarrassing sex story

What's your most embarrassing sex story
I've got a few to share

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youtube.com/watch?v=MFmr_TZLpS0
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I fisted a girl and when she came she shit in my bed.

I'll post a few, not in any order;

- I was going down on my ex about two years ago and when he came it hit the back of my throat, got this weird feeling, sat up, I sneezed; it came out of my nose - I sneezed his cum in his face and he almost vomited

lmfao
that's beautiful c': weird question; but is it painful for girls to be fisted?

....user I love you

>fucking girl I work with
>she comes to my house after she leaves her boyfriends house.
>fucking her hard and I'm close to cumming.
>I ask if she's close
>not really, user
>like the man I am, I regain control and continue banging
>once again, ask if she's ready
>Not yet
>frustrated, tell her I can't wait
>I know you can make me cum user, my boyfriend can and he is smaller than you
>instant bone kill
>now not only am I having problems fucking her right, now I'm limp dick sally.

Sent her home and never talked again

Another;

- I was drunk one time; incredibly turned on and got into things with my current partner
After a good while of foreplay and all that we decided to go for it; didn't realise how drunk I was, got on top of him, rode him, didn't realise I was feeling sick - proceed to vomit on him and then continue
Woke up in the morning wanting to kill myself

Sounds like a faggot

That's harsh man, jesus

Thank you kindly

Mean :^( ; my stories are from a female perspective, I thought that'd be kinda obvious lmao

...

People assume everyone on here is male. As I'm writing this, I'm 100% sure you're a man

I was hooking up with my sisters long term boyfriend's sister and she was sucking my cock and gagged and threw up and the barf was hot and felt really good and I came as she vomited

Eh it doesn't really matter; stories are stories at the end of the day

Bout the worst I got was like 15. Bandit a ex in the ass, never heard the front door open she was pretty loud. Her dad walks in her room. .. I hurry up and pull out, and she shit all over the floor.

I wonder what that tasted like for her oh god

>ex gf tossing me off
> Pretty rough
> Ooh that felt weird
> She asks if I came cause hands wet
>No I'm good
> Pulls hand up
> Covered in blood
> Snapped frenulum/banjo string
> First of three times its happened

>Girlfriend between my legs in bed
>Jerking and sucking
>Start to get close after awhile
>Tell her to stick out her tongue for a facial
>She jerks faster and harder
>Ends up tipping my dick back
>Cum on my own face

God damn lube! Use it

God damnit what the fuck. You getting hand jobs from hellboy?

Bruh

>I have an above average sick that most girls are impressed by
>First time fucking new gf
>Excited to see her reaction
>She says nothing
>Ask her what she thinks of it
>She says "uhh average?"
>Confidence killed
>Ask her why she said it was average after we fuck
>Shrugs her shoulders and says"I've had bigger"
>Ask about guy with bigger dick
>She reluctantly tells me he filled her up more
>Also tells me he used to leave bruises on her thighs from pounding her so hard

>Still with her after a year

I h-have still never fucked her h-hard enough to give her bruises. I guess Im just too weak and beta. Fuck life

In that case, show tits or gtfo

You know when you read a greentext and go, man something about this seems like a lie? Yeah that is happening with me right now.

That's why you never ask man. That's pretty fucked. I used to talk to this girl that told me she was with a dude that had a huge cock. A few months after this talk, we started fucking. I'm very average sized and all I could think about was how I couldn't measure up (literally) to this mandingo she fucked. I couldn't even finish.

fcking 3 times???
had it once and it hurts like hell

AJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA
I'm one of those dudes who's smaller. Just work on technique and have fun with it, that's how my 5-incher makes em cum 5 times a night

First time I ever got a blowjob the girl used her teeth and somehow cut my dick on her braces.

Casually having sex; put music on in the background because people were in the house at the time
Put my YouTube Mix is playing
This comes on;
youtube.com/watch?v=MFmr_TZLpS0

stop immediately

This

>partner
Kys faggot

> Different girl
> Fucking her standing
> She's facing door I'm behind her
> Family are all home, this is exciting
> Cum hard
> Pull out, huge splosh sound
> Fuck that's a lot of cum
> Look down, blood and cum everywhere
> She's petrified of blood nearly pass out
> Soldiers through and helps clean cause yes my dicks bleeding again

First time walked to a and e as too embarrassed to get ambulance. Now I know drill and just clean well and leave to heal

>be sucking my bf's dick
>he wants to give me facial
>looking up at him with my mouth open
>cums with the force of a hadron collider
>a shot goes straight up my nose

hurt like fuck

Well I summarized it. It's not it all happened at once. I found out about the side bruising her thighs on a different day. Amd she wasn't that cold hearted about it. She was reluctant to tell me anything but I probed her like a cuck

fuck man that hurts. remeber how shocked i was when i pulled it out and my whole bed was covered in blood. But seems like i had a good doc, never faced problems again

>Got chub at grill
>fap fap fap
>le meme face
>cum

Tits or gtfo

Yeah, im still not buying it

sorry tyrone looks we won this one

cuck, kill yourself or leave her

I think I only tore base first couple times. third finished job. No problem s since

What is there that is so unbelievable about my story? Is it that far fetched? I don't get it. Here is the girls left tit for your attention and troubles.

Now you fucked up user now everyone is just going to want n00dz. .. I appreciate the stories always legit to hear the chicks side of fucked up sex...

I got another ... Was going down on my wife one night she was 6-7 months pregnant .. Anyways down there giving her the old lick-aroo and she farted... All I could muster to do was look dead at her and say Bruh. ..

>be me
>be 17
>went swimming with gf at the time
>hadn't done anything with her yet
>she gets frisky
>aw yis
>give her the finger blaster 3000
>pull out hand
>look at hand
>green bug on fingers
>tfw finger blasted said bug to death
>tfw leave gf with bug in hand

Buried bug bro. Such is life.

>be me
>virgin
>..

Why do I have a strong sense that you're under 18...

>not knowing how to greentext
Kys
Also fucking faggot

This recently started happening to me i have to be very gentle used to not need lube now need lube to fuck without the pain... This shit sucks....

well i like to dress up as yakko (my 3rd fav warner)
not everybody thinks that its cool, but i finally met a girl who thinks im a 10/10 would bang like bam in my yakko suit.
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.

once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?


this was the song:

youtube.com/watch?v=tOOb3wPNMAg

I was 17
Had sex with a girl
She wanted me to turn the lights off
Ate her out
After I finished turned on the lights
So much blood it looked like a crime scene

More funny than embarassing:
> driving home from visiting husband's family
> we see a sleasy sex shop by the side of the road
> we stop by because fuck it, why not
> get a sex swing that hangs from a door frame
> get home
> decide to try it out that evening
> it takes some doing but we finally get it hung on the doorframe of the bathroom
> He starts railing me for awhile
> both about to cum
> one side of the sex swing comes loose
> ohshit
> Husband is barely holding me up as I'm half dangling from the door
> I'm barely clinging onto the doorframe, afraid if I fall I'll break his dick
> slowly lowered down and on one foot I pirouette off his cock.
> we collapse in relief and laugh for about five minutes
Good times.