Alright fags. It's been a long time since I've come to this shit hole and nothings changed

Alright fags. It's been a long time since I've come to this shit hole and nothings changed.

Let's do a thread about time travel.

Situation: you where teleported back in time with nothing but what you are wearing on your body ( only clothes) . Medieval times right before major discoveries of gun powder. We will say somewhere in Europe.

Question: what knowledge can you bring back in time to teach those retards in order to 1. Improve their quality of life. Or 2. Dominate over them as a super intelligent overlord.

Twist: your knowledge must be complete. No half assing. Also it cannot be too advanced for them or they will label you as a witch.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=wrg_6dny6Po
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

introduce toilet paper

Steam power all over them bitches.

yeah, but do you know how to make it?

In b4 dildo

youtube.com/watch?v=wrg_6dny6Po

i`ll show them this video on my phone that`s bound to be in my pocket since i always carry it

proper soaps

You might want to have that knowledge memorized, because it's a possibility that if you show them your phone they'll consider it witchcraft or some shit. But the toilet paper idea is still a pretty good idea. If you learn how to make it yourself, you'll be able to sell it, and get rich easily.

Show them the wonders of memes

>inb4 memes become the economy of our world today

i`ll warn them and tell everyone to keep spreading the truth..
that Hitler will do nothing wrong

>medieval
>photographs
>not a witch
what

...

First contact with some sort of "secret service" organization.

Make contact with most intelligent and most imaginative people - inventors etc.

Tell them about things i can describe and tell them what i know - They will do most of the "hard work".

Ta da!

also toilet flush idea on the wealthiest

Okay Mr. Edison

Edison was a scubag. I wont.

Introduce them to being a furry

Teach them the idea of financial interest. Start a central banking system. Make a shit ton of money

Is that all you got retards

snuggies. i shal rule the land

>Sell volcano insurance to retarded peasants

>spread rumors of a dragon then sell seashells on a string and say it's a fireproof ammy with +10 magic defence

>buy up a bunch of spears during peace time then sell them during a war which literally happened like every 5 years

>"hey Duke of whatever I'm a Swiss prince that needs to smuggle 100 pounds of gold across the English Channel. If u send me moneys for a ship I'll gib u half of my Jew gold"

Long story short people were literally retarded back then. It would be easy as fuck for a person with a modern education to capitalize off the fears and stupidity of medieval society. Just don't go around saying "hurdur from the future check out this idea about microwaves" cause you'll seem like a crazy lepper seer witch faggot and either be shunned from society or stabbed through stomach.

Just set up a Ponzi scheme in Rome and laugh while you island hop the Mediterranean the rest of your life fucking qt wenches on your 10mil gp corsair

>Use modern knowledge of math to find employment at a naval construction yard

>make bank while getting a tan all day

>marrying 12 year old is legal

>marrying 100 people is legal

>basically just don't steal, murder, or bang the royalty and you're fine

>mfw I have 100 qt 12yo waifus to roll around on and fuck and play with like they're fucking toys and the people will still love me as their own

>>>mfw I have 100 qt 12yo waifus to roll around on and fuck and play with like they're fucking toys and the people will still love me as their own

Dude..

>medieval Europe
>using phone for Internet

Uhm..

>medieval europe
>polygamy
muslim detected

"say it's a fireproof ammy with +10 magic defence"

my sides ...

>what is download button

This guy gets it. Not super helpful to them though. Maybe bless them with something useful?

He's literally selling them protection against mythical beasts bro did you not read what he said?

>what is obviously not being prepared for time travel to the past as made apparent by only havin your current clothes for your trip
>what is the level of autism required to just happened to have downloaded a toilet paper production video prior to your spontaneous trip

...

>mfw born too late to bang medieval whores while counting gold coins on my wooden ship

Why even live?

>2016
>not having the toilet paper episode of How It's Made saved on your phone for viewing pleasure at any time regardless of cell service

Are you literally retarded?

1 start small, make quick millions off of retards
2 start undergroung movement of peasants
3 rally up "smarter followers", and materials in secret, import powder from china
4 start boulding up iron subs, concrete bunkers, flamethrowers, and shitty cannons
5 rebell, take over germany, build concrete walls and defensive towers
6 start new goverment, whith a cult following to my person. i am a god in their minds
7 improve life standards, secular state, minimal taxes, free market, prosper
8 people from other coutries come to mine for a better life, weakening their own
9 after some more years of making a massive army, by selling inventions to the puplic, expand using rudimentary firearms and modern tactics
10 many years should have passed, im old but godlike and have a powerfull "steampunk" army and controll all of eourope and many nearby countries
11 expand to america, kill all natives with bilogical weapons and advanced pirotecnics have massive amounts of gold
12 die of age, having left behind an army massively advanced, whith an open mind for science, and colonialism, having made myself a god and leaving my nation in the hands of generals i trust to keep expanding and rule the world
pic unrelated

>inb4 neglected to charge phone and only has 11% battery left

Good luck!

hope you know people in the far future (if there is one) will be saying the same thing about everyone in the 21st century.

Toilets. Drainage system. Aqueduct.

Dominate them with rhetoric speech and go full "petyr baelish" on them.

yeah right and then the people will continue to shit in the streets, but they will leave both, shit and large amounts of toilet paper

What kind of phone at 11% battery dies halfway through a 4 minute video?

You gotta admit though basic scams we laugh at today like multi level marketing, snake oil products, and Ponzi schemes would work wonders on medievalfags

THIS GUY!

>implying this would all take less than 50 years
>implying you would live past 65 without modern medicine

Samefag

this

tell me what you would do

what lowered the life expectancy so much was natal and childhood deaths, as well as warriors, i already beat all of those, plus im 21, i pretty much have the time needed for all of that, before point 12

Nope

>implying you can contstruct anything

Dude having even the most rudimentary understanding of algebra trigonometry or geometry back then would put you at the modern equivalent of a Silicon Valley genius

>what are vaccines
You wouldn't be protected against 90% of the versions of smallpox and other diseases we laugh at today. Diseases evolve and change constantly.

You'd catch something eventually bro

man you're so right i see now

This

Say you step on a nail while building your war machines and it winds up infected. Or what if you got bit by the wrong flea.

You'd be fucked mane

well.. probably right, but sill, id be godlike until then

>Catch the plague
>Die

also

>Catch TB
>Die

also

>Catch a whole giant list of shit that we've mostly wiped out that you've never been exposed to
>Die

what if nobody wants to start a movement with you because of your weird appearance