Autistic shit you did when you were younger

Autistic shit you did when you were younger

>be me about a year-ish ago
>16, close to turning 17
>have average looking gf, she's 17 and about to turn 18
>we decide we want to have sex on our 5 month anniversary, teenager shit whatever
>refuses to have sex without a condom, even though she's been on the pill for almost a month
>fine
>friend is staying with me during the summer, hatch master plan
>ask if he's hungry
>sure
>walk down to taco bell at 1:30 am, they're closed, missed it by 30 minutes
>7/11 is next door and open
>walk inside, grab gummy worms, beef jerky, and small box of condoms
>bro asks what's up and i tell him to follow my lead
>at the counter i place everything down trying to look confident
>condoms fall off
>pick them up while making eye contact with the guy at the register the whole time
>as he's ringing the shit up, grab friend's hand
>kiss his cheek and slowly sing im yours by jason mraz
>thought being gay would make this less awkward
>friend is dead silent, frozen in fear as i face fuck him with my lips
>saudi arabian cashier doesn't tolerate homosexuality, starts screaming
>think brightest thing to do is to convince cashier we arent faking for whatever reason in case he thought we were
>tongue fuck my friends mouth
>he freaks out and throws up a little
>cashier called the cops
>they show up, we have vomit on each other and it's pass curfew, cashier is raging still
>cops took us home and told my mother what happened
>mom still thinks im a closet gay

Lurking intensifies

got another one if anyone is interested

>be me
>about 12, not sure
>little brother's birthday
>lots of people there, slip n slide, all the good shit
>cake time comes
>older cousin thinks its a cool idea to smother me with cake
>absolutely covered in cake
>have trunks on due to slip n slide so I go take a shower
>get boner bc raging teen hormones or w/e
>start jacking it in shower, door is unlocked bc it was one of those weird bathrooms with a smooth handle
>been in there a while, girl i had a crush on comes up to check on me
>whips open the shower curtain, sheer horror on her face
>coolguymode.jpeg
>just watched american pie 2 days ago
>look her dead in the eye and say "wanna, give me a hand?"
>she starts fucking screaming and telling everyone there
>party is cut short, people go home and my mom has a talk with me
>grounded for 3 months
>girl and her family no longer speak to us

I have a couple more if anyone is lurking

If thats true OP your a retarded genius

moar

Now i just have this image in my head of a 12 year old leaning against the wall nonchalantly saying in the deepest voice possible, "You wanna give me a hand *moves eyebrows*"

I hope these are true

please continue

is his a YLYL thread?
In that case, I lost

I shit my pants at the fair because I lost my Walkman and my uncle wouldn't buy me cotton candy.

HAHAHAHA nice

one more because fuck it

>13-14, just hitting puberty
>hormones raging all the time
>go visit dad in arkansas, first time ever seeing him tbh
>he remarried, step mom is closer to me in age than to him
>she's fucking hot
>boner 24/7, beat my meat every chance just thinking about her
>sneak into their room and jerk it with her pink victoria secret panties
>shit was so cash
>well one day she notices the cum literally on them, she didnt get pissed off though, instead she asked if i wanted to go to the water park
>fuckyeah
>spend some time there eating and what not
>time for rides
>fucking 700 foot water slide
>i kid you not this was the behemoth of water slides, never been to a water park before so i am petrified
>2 person slide
>we wait in line for almost an hour, get to the top and they say I should be in front since i am smaller
>she pleads against it, she's in front now
>about to go down and i can feel my stomach sink
>what's this? Boner.
>she's grinding against my dick, no fucking lie
>bout to fucking pop as we're getting ready to drop
>cumming while dropping must be amazing
>wait
>not cum im feeling
>so scared and excited i didnt even realize
>im shitting myself, literally fucking shitting myself, all over me, the tube, and her, down the slide
>they closed the ride for 5 or so minutes to clean it after we got off
>silence on the ride home
>not allowed to visit dad anymore
>step mom blocked me on fb after i friend req'd her

HAHAHAHA bowel cock blocked

>be me 14
>6 or so years ago
>end of school year
>thank god.jpg
>get school year book
>mid summer I take it into the bathroom to look back on the shitter
>Finds picture of hot teacher
>erection.webm
>fap to the picture
>accidentally finish on year book
>freak out
>give it to one of my friends to hold
>he's black and a really cool dude, we were like best friends
>ask him to hide it
>he boards at the school, so its almost like hiding it in plain sight
>end of school year, sitting at lunch table
>We have what is currently known as a roast session
>Some other nig nog (not my friend) brings up the year book
>wat do.gif
>feel super embarrased but try to play it off as a joke
>later on I ask my friend if he told this nig nog
>says no, I believe him, he doesn't lie
>last day of school, friend never gives back yearbook
>call him and ask him where it is
>I dunno he says
>fml

1/3

>Once again user is a faggot and ill tell you why...
>pretend you are me
>everyone having a good time at a party
>neckties on doors, moaning from rooms, house party me and afew friends snuck into, pretty kickass college kegger 5 bucksfor a cup, togas got you a cup for free, shit was cash
>Triedsohardandgotsofar.wav
>having a decent time nonetheless, getting drunk, hanging outwith other weeb friends
>every so often a drunk chick bumps into me and tries to dance
>doesn't meet my waifu standards so i awkwardly shuffle my wayinto the crowd and away from the drunk sluts.
>OHSHITdoihaveautism?.bmp
>others are having a good time while i awkwardly stay to myself drinking like a fish
>really laid into that keg, was having a good time, laughs werehad, lost at beer pong and stumbled my way through the yard tothe driveway
>Drunk chick asks me for a smoke while im out there tryin tosober up just a bit. trying to start up conversation with meas i smoke, feel awkward so i just kinda stand and nod.
>reallythinkihaveautism.webm
>Ok user is about 12 beers in and beer goggles are on and finelytuned
>pushing through the crowd dancing when suddenly i bump intothis tiny chick hidden from view
>offer an awkward laugh and scratch my head as i apologize toher
>No joke she was perfect, my waifu incarnate, a petite chick, a lil shy but not too much, big eyes, full lips, average tits and a perfect lil butt, going all out with her costume
>Think of all the ways i would love her as i stare awkwardly and stumble over myself to try and get to know her
>her smile made my dick like diamonds she even laughed and seemed to enjoy my awkwardness around her
>everyone else at this party can go fuck themselves i found my prize
>For some reason it was working, we talked, she laughed, we moved to a quieter spot and got to know eachother
>loosenyourjimmiesanon.autism.exe
>other friends ended up leaving about 20 mins later and i had no idea, they just kinda gave up looking and just left

2/3

>on any other night i may have cared, but tonight i had a chance, a chance to fuck my waifu
>really enjoying ourselves, having drinks, talking, light flirting and touches
>Eventually she takes my hand and with a smile began to pull my through the house every so often looking back with a bit of a grin
>verysatisfying.feels
>end of the line we had snuck down into the basement, all the rooms where being used either to fuck or to sleep, and it was the only place no one went
>rapemeinthebasementplease.gif
>"You can keep a secret right user?"
>bonerdon'tfailmenow.png
>"Of course i can waifu"
>"Deep down, i have always been curious about how cum tastes and i've bet getting wet thinking about your dick in my mouth"
>youdolovemegod.email
>Won't have to tell me twice
>act like an alpha for once in my life, grab her, shove her body against me and make that waifu mine
>looks like someone's life is finally turning around this is no joke the happiest moment in my life
>kick it into gear and start groping that body, a drunken mess of pulling at clothes to get at the pussy hidden inside
>The sounds she is making only makes me 15 grams of diamonds hard as i start ripping off clothes
>her mouth will be around my dick dammit! pulling her down to her knees as i pull my superior asian race sized dick free
>eyes wide as she looked up at me and if it wasn't for fapping to porn 3 times a day i would have blown a load right there and then
>Don'tletthisbeadream.vr
>in no time im begging like the beta i am for her to honor me with that waifu mouth around my benis
>not doing it, just teasing the shit out of me, just looking at me and grinning, blowing on it
>ohshitimgonnacum.whenyounut
>suddenly stops, grabbing the base of my dick hard as hell before flattening that tongue on the head
>all i had not to blow a load, i think i looked at the dirty ceiling and thought about the golden girls

this happened to me a few years ago

>be 13
>really nice private school
>spoiled little shit
>be in math class with asshole teacher
>clearly on her period
>forgot homework
>fuck.jpg
>"Do you have your homework user?"
>no lol
>she gets really pissed tells me I never do it
>this is the first time I've forgotten it
>she takes me outside and continues to scream
>shes shorter than I am
>tell her I don't give a shit
>she slaps me
>illegal
>i run away to the dean of students
>tell him what happened
>she gets fired next day
>MFW

3/3

>"Under no circumstances are you allowed to cum user, not until you read the first letter of each sentence"
>Realize what it was that i had to do to cum in my waifu

yfw you realize what i had to do

>be attracted to asian girls

A final one before i bid my farewells

>be me, about 6 i guess
>dont know, really fucking young
>in school nontheless, and have this weird thing about public bathrooms
>i can not, fucking, use them. Literally terrified of urinals
>in gym class
>learning dribbling, use ur finger tips not ur palm yadda yadda yadda
>have to piss, super bad
>so bad I ask if i can go use the bathroom, the teacher literally says
>"ive never seen you use them before, you arent just getting out of class"
>what the fuck kind of sense does that make?
>can't hold it, piss everywhere, the niagra falls left my fucking urethra in gym that day
>piss everywhere, just pretend it isnt there
>some kid notices it and alerts everyone else
>teacher is investigating
>trying to think quick, i start fucking dancing in it, pretending to be a fucking ice skater in my puddle of piss
>sliding around and i slip and bust my ass
>start making, Literal, fucking, piss angels
>at this point im just wallowing and bathing in my own piss in front of the entire class
>some kid screams
>"ANONS PANTS ARE WET, HE PEED"
>burst into tears and try to run
>slip in piss again and land on my chin, essentially chipping every tooth in the front of my mouth
>mom is called
>taken home and moved schools a week later

Fuck that teacher

Gabe is that you my dude?

My god. This is God teir.

expected dinosaur at some point

>Walkman
Damn user, you're an old timer

cheers m8

10/10 got me user. Dunno if it's pasta or not but good show

so girl comes in to bathroom to "check" and open the shower curtain but ends up screaming .Fake and gay.

>Be me 14
>At school
>Friends have been calling me machoginyst
>not misogynist
>They say the only way they'll stop is if I get a girlfriend
>Get tired of this shit
>At lunch scope out chick like
>Go up to her
>Sit across from her
"Would you like to have sexual intercourse?"
>Friends die laughing
>Girl says
"Ew fuck no get away from me."
>Go back and sit with friends
>The next day
>I get called to vice principals office
>She roasts the fuck outta me
>K
>Next day officer calls me in
>Tells me basic cop shit
"What if she said yes?"
>That's a statutory rape my friend
>K whatever
"Lmao sorry I guess"
>2 weeks later
>In court
>Judge brings it up
>Judge says
"That was not good, user"
>holyshitwhenwillIgetleftaloneaboutit.png
>itwasjustaprankbro.flv
>Yes it was
>mfw

i was wearing swim trunks because of the slip n slide, i was only supposed to be rinsing off essentially you nigger, she was expecting me to have trunks on not my cock out

Someones obviously taking a shower in here, better not expect to see someone naked.

no it's OC i wrote when bored one day

read

Literally first non cancer OC I've seen in like 3 years

Posted before refresh

HOLY FUCKING KEK

>be me, somewhere around 15 yr olds
>have sis she is around same age, around half a year older than me.
>we share a room cause poorfags
>she gets the bed, i sleep on this big ass couch shoved to the side of the room.
>late at night watchin some anime and hentais and shit
>blanket over me cause boner.jpg
>half asleep fiddling with dick through my shorts under the blanket.
>sister wakes up, looks at me
>deerinheadlights.webm
>"whatchu up to bro, its like 3 in the mornin?"
>"couldn't sleep just watchin some videos on the laptop"
>"You don't have to sleep on that couch if ye wanna share the bed ye know."
>"I know sis, let me finish this video and ill get back to sleep"
>ismybonershowing?.jpeg
>lift screen back up so it's all i can see, debating whether i should continue rubbing my cock sticking out the bottom of a pulled up pantleg of my shorts...
>fuckit.mov
>lost in video, screen and blanket blocking my view of the room, barely notice the sound of the bed or my sister moving
>next thing i know i feel the blanket lifting like something else was underneath it with me.
>tongue running up my dick, flicks the tip, licks again
>wait...whut?.png
>drop laptop on couch, sister isnt in bed anymore
>throw blanket off of me
>dog licking my dick, sister walks in and laughs
>contemplate suicide everyday after

KEK

>Be me
>Be 15 at the time
>Be bubble child who is sheltered
>Literally didnt fap until 13 years old
>Had overwhelming guilt about it due to being so sheltered
>Blantently tell my mom i masturbate
>Poker face for 2 weeks and we still dont talk much

...

Thank you OP, that was a good chuckle.

...

Alright boys, thanks for reading my physical embodiments of autism, but im off to bed, hope i brought laughs to at least some of you

>statutory rape
>you're also underaged
>you're also being raped
>maleprivilege.png

If you were older than 2 at the time, theres a good chance you might be retarded.

>started drinking
>started smoking
>drugs

fuck that shit

>Have sis
>She's around half a yeah older
Nigga how is that possible?
You're either exactly the same age as your sister or MORE that 9 months younger than her, unless you were born like 3 months premature.
Check your logic nigga.

user, you glorious faggot, 12/10!

>Be me
>1st class (what like 7 years old)
>Never been to school yet, living in the country side with one neighbour who has a younger than me daughter
>Used to play the family pretend game with the neighbour girl
>Anyway. First weeks at school
>Around 20-25 kids at the class
>Don't know anybody
>See a couple of girls playing, had a minor crush on one of the hotties
>"Well fuck, I gotta make friends somehow, don't I?"
>Decide to walk up to them and offer them a nice game of pretend
>*Walk up*
>"Hey, wanna play wife and husband?"
>She looks at me like I'm a fucking retard, says nothing
>*shit I must have sounded like a complete fuckbag, how do I fix it*
>"Uhhhh...Power rangers then?"
>"Sure!"
>mfw Power rangers saved me from complete 1st grader social fuckup

theres always one that takes that bait
and ever hear of adoption?

...

Top keks were had

Not that autistic but can't think of anything else right now
>be me
>be 12
>sleepover at cousins
>sleep on matress on the floor
>cousin is asleep
>I can't sleep
>have to pee
>decides for some reason that I won't bother going 2 steps out of his room to reach the toilet
>need to pee like now
>find a plastic cup thing, I think it was a candy container
>plan to pee in it and toss it out window
>itscomming.jpg
>waterfall into the container
>pee for a while before I notice it's leaking because the whole thing was cracked
>pee going everywhere on me and the floor
>panic
>run towards window to throw it out while I'm still pissing
>drop it and spill everything on his carpet
>he sits up in bed, still half asleep and looks at me
>I stand there cowered in piss from my waist down staring at him
>he laws back down and falls asleep
>I clean up what i can with some laundry he had laying on the floor
>sneak outside and ride my bicycle home 2AM in the morning
>never heard anything about it

>poorfags
>adopting children
>while having children
I know these stories are fiction but make em believable at least

>Be me, 16 in history class
>4 years ago
>Teacher is a solid 8/10, would smash
Gymnast too, but that's irrelevant
>In Leo Club, which she also heads, and is talking to me about speech I'll give to Lion's Club in our town
>Wrap up the discussion, don't have shit to do, so starts talking about her husband and new child
Husband is apparently biker bad boy (Catholics.kek), takes kid to AC/DC concerts
>Without even thinking, I say,
"I'd love to go to one with you."
>Didn't stutter, didn't stammer, came out clear as day
>With the poker face of Yahweh, I maintaing my shit-eating smile as she gives me a creeped out look
>Try to play it off as a joke
"I'll bring cookies."
>Class loses its shit behind me (talking to her at her desk), start to sweat but never lose my downy smile
>Teacher gives me look of disgust, sends me back to my desk as buddy's think it was all staged joke
Crisis Averted
Wrong
>Go to principal's office next day, questioned for harassment
>Nothing comes of it, whole school knows I'm goofy
>Lose my bid to be Leo Club pres, can't help but feel teacher had hand in it
>Teacher goes to different school next year
MFW there's more of these in my life's guest for atonement from the seven autists

The worst thing I ever said..
>be me, about 13 years old
>forced to go to church youth group
>In 12person van on way back from the beach or some shit
>super tired, kept nodding off
>sister is 2years younger than me and had just recently freaked out about her first period
>wake up after passing out a few minutes
>girls around me all talking about their periods
>"my sister already had her period" I said as i came to
>FUCKING SILENCE FOR MINUTES
>Have attempted suicide twice since then
>Haunted by it daily
>seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow

>"Hey, wanna play wife and husband?"
> living in the country side
sound accurate tbh

>be me (around 7 or 8)
>parents getting divorced, autism growing stronger
>"loner child" ie: no friends, basically read books, play video games, climb trees in the forest
>mother asks why I'm antisocial and not like normal kids
>fuckedinthehead.jpg
>have asshole older brother
>beats me up so he can feel dominant
>still a raging cuck to this very day
>one day I'm outside playing with some of my favorite rocks
>you heard my autism right, giant fucking rock collection because what the fuck are friends
>play city with my rocks, every rock is a person
>asshole brother sees me playing and comes over
>"that's stupid user, your rocks are stupid"
>I'm unfazed, autism too strong, play with rocks
>brother doesn't recieve the reaction he wants so he picks up a rock
>throws it into the nearby creek
>autism rage ingage
>loseyourself.webm
>I start screaming like I'm being murdered
>take my long ass nails I refuse to cut because of autism, and dig them up my legs until I'm bleeding
>grandpa hears and runs over
>tfw what the fuck is happening
>still clawing into my legs are shreiking on the ground
>mom comes and finally calms me down
>finds out it was because of a rock
>mychildisanautist.tlc
>grandpa ends up bringing me one of those really big epensive geode rocks the next day in attempts to satisfy the autism withing my child form
>still have it

Story I just remembered from WAY back in the day
>Be me, kindergarten, 5 or 6
>Teacher has us assemble in line to leave class for library to see a special speaker
Fuckyeah.nap
>Spent last night watching a bunch of episodes of my shit as a kid: Ed, Edd, n Eddy
One particular scene stuck out, where Ed and Double D are practicing headbutting through shit, Ed had no shirt on and had like a sock tied over his eyes (at least from what I remember from the episode)
>In library now, act out scene to myself as if no one is there, a problem I had for many years and do every so often even now
>Entire class is seated, except me, standing with arms out at my sides and eyes closed
>Completely forget what Ed said before headbutting whatever it was he was, instead ad-lib
"One, two, buckle my butt."
>Take notice to deafening silence and the feeling of being watched
>Open one eye, everyone is looking at me with either confusion or laughter
>Teacher yanks me into hall by my arm, sits me on bench and have to stay there for whole time
>Don't get to have milk break, last in line for lunch,and have to do dumb shit for her while everyone got to go to recess
>MFW I think back on it now as the source of my autism

>be me
>15 yo
>my uncle an electrician needs some help with some shit
>asks me to come with him
>i go
>we go into an apartman where he needs to fix something
>as we ring the bell a fat arab opens
>we come in and ask whats the problem
>he tells us and calls his wife
>wife comes al wrapped up like a burrito or something
>therewillbejihad.jpg
>after some time i fell an giant fart forming inside me
>can't hold it
>say fuck i it's now or never
>scream ALLAHU AKBAR at the top of my lungs as i release a space bending fart
>it lasts for like 10 seconds
>when i finished they looked at me with hateful look
>they kick us out of the apartment while screaming something in arab
>kek

put me in screencap pls
/r/Sup Forums

ITS A TRAP!!

Autist

>Be me, 7 years ago
>visiting my grandpa and his wife from Australia, in England
>im waking up one day, taking a shower
>i liked sitting down in the shower and block the water drain thingy so i would make a small pool of water in the bath
>playing with soap and shampoo lids
>im sitting in my own thoughts
>suddenly door unlocks
>mom lockpicked the door with a key because it was a pretty shitty lock
>busts in
>"user whats going on, youve been in here for 20 minutes
>mfw im sitting naked flashing my 2 inch dick to my mom and grandpa girlfriend who was then 78 years old
>mfw she thought i was masturbating even though i didnt even know what hormones was back then

Probably the height of my autism, but not the last story, sorry for jumping all over the place in timelines.
>Be me, just over a year ago
>Meet girl who is now/was great friend in math class, become better friends in second semester
>One day, she invites me over to her dorm
>Tells me friend in group she has raped her
At the time, I was fucking livid, now I think otherwise of her after what I'm about to say
>Grow closer as I keep it a secret, me being her confidant even though she has a bf she does not want to know
>Near end of semester, start getting more intiimate, no shirts, constantly groping her, etc
>Reaches climax at one night, stay over, clothes were lost, spooning naked
>Dick pressed against the ass of a goddess
>Think it would be funny to poke my dick out between her legs
>Right through pussy lips, makes wet sound
PrimalModeEngage.mp4
>Shift back and forth, basically hotdogging my dick through her pussy lips
>She's sufficiently wet, decide to go in for the kill
>Whisper:
"Do you want me to put it in?"
>Can't control her keks
>Just lets me basically play game of If It Doesn't Go In, It's not Cheating while she tries to stop laughing
>Eventually try to go missionary, stops me so she can think, promptly replies no and we get dressed
>FML
>Her face when

Fuck I laughed. You win this time, OP.

if thats true thats literally retarded, how is saying you want to go to a concert with someone harassment?

That's why I was pissed when I got called in and treated it like a joke. Apparently the teacher wanted me charged for sexual harassment but the principal knocked it down and told me I may be charged with harassment. Told her my side of the story and laughed, said I was free to go back to class.

well that never happened you austist

>be me
>be 14
>have this thing on my penis, looks like tiny blood blisters
>no clue what they are had them for a long time
>keeps obthering me
>one day I decide to pop one
>stick a needle in my penishead while erect
>blood spurts everywhere
>hold finger over hole until erection is over
>still bleeding
>put a ball of tissue paper under my foreskin and tapes it shut
>go to sleep
>wate up next morning and it's even worse
>2 years later I went to a doctor and got those blisters removed

Another one:
>Working at grocery store, job I still have to this day, about 2 years ago
20 now
>Lady comes in and asks where pregnancy tests are, aisle 4, left hand side
>Grabs it and comes right back
Time slows
>Give myself motivational pep speech for no reason
Alright, user, you've sold tampons, you've sold maxipads, and you never once cracked a smile. You can do this.
>Fucking Retard
>Suddenly remember funny shit I saw on YouTube other night, probably Francis or some other rager
>Customer comes back up with test
>Try hardest to contain my keks
Pass every little laugh I have as a cough, try to literally wipe smile from my face, break out in cold sweat
>Customer gives me weird look as she lays down pregnancy test
>Scan it, bag it, still going through my autistic routine of containing my laugh
Alright, user, you did horrible at controlling your shit. But, if watching football has taught you anything, it's not how you start, it's how you finish
>Literal speech going through my mind
>Decide to crack joke
>As I hand her shit back, say,
Here's your change and receipt in the bag, ma'am. Good luck.
>Smile and give her a thumbs up
>Gives me disgusted look and stomps to the door
>Slam head on counter, wondering what the fuck I said
Every person I've told since, whether it be friend, family member, or co-workers, including boss, they all have the same theory:
I'm retarded.
>MFW this is my proudest autistic moment

>be me 1 year ago
>friends and i starts going to this "poor pub"
>Immigrants hang around there all the time
>dont speak that much when im sober, but when im drunk im friends with everybody
>i start this wierd routine where i gotta make friends with all the immigrants and make them feel welcome
>half of them dont even speak my language
>3 nig nog brothers
>playing pool
>"hey guys"
>"hello they respond in english
>started talking about how i think theyre all welcome and i think its great how they finally have found a country where they can finally find peace
>we talk about their immigration for about 1 hour
>they keep buying me drinks even though they dont even have any jobs
>im just getting shots, beers, and everything
>i even managed to get their numbers at the end of the night
>i still meet them around town late at night
>the 3 nignog brothers still greet me each time whenever and wherever i meet them
>another time, same pub
>talking with this asian dude
>he clearly doesnt speak my language either
>start speaking english to him
>asked him where he was from and how he was doing
>"kongland, Kongland"
>i kept hearing "kongland"
>at this point im really fucking drunk
>"never hurt of kongland, what is that?"
>"kongland, north, Kongland" he keeps going
>2 minutes later friend of mine walks up to me laughing
>tells me his speaking my language and im still talking english to him
>Mfw he was saying "greenland" in my language
>we start talking about greenland
>once again i got shots after shots
>his sister walks up to me
>im 18 by the time
>shes looking atleast 45
>"youre hot"
>puke.webm
>"thank you"
>she offers me 2 shots, i down them and keep talking with kongland guy
>i exchanged numbers with him
>i was moving the next day and there was less than 3 hours till i had to get up and help move my familys stuff from a house to a apt on the top floor
>mfw i still have konglands phone number in my phone

What an exciting story full of twists and turns

I want to believe

> be 3
> really REALLY like dinosaures
> there was a brachiosaurus that i didn't have
> ain't no dinosaureq that I wont have
> decide to steal it
> everybody is out of the classeroom
> it'stime.jpg
> put dinosaur in pants and go out
> playitcool.gif
> hide it behind a tree so I can take it when it's time to go home
> teacher find it and ask why it's here
> everybody start telling her that my friend stole it
> do the same because why not
> friend got grounded and no brachiosaurus for me
> fuck it I buyed a bigger one a week later anyway

>Milhouseeyebrowwiggle.exe

maybe I should do that since my mom always looks at me like I'm 5 because I used to be a fag

So erect

Explain. What events happened after

I have a similar story
>16th birthday
>p good day
>go to sleep late
>wake up 11 am
>pissed the fucking bed
>slept naked anyway
>cry back to sleep at how much of a failure i am
And another one
>few months later at best friends house
>walked there, fell asleep early in his basement
>wake up
>hes not there, went to his room
>feeling wet
>im covered in piss
>his couch is covered in piss
>shove paper towels between underpants and legs
>dry it as best i can
>actual autism kicks in
>give him the ol' irish goodbye at 6 am
>text him when i get home "felt sick, walked home"
I still dont sit on that couch

I gotta say man, your grandpa seems like a nice person. How old are you now?

This one:
>be me, 6 years ago, was 12
>addicted to mlp AND played roblox
>i was an autistic cancerous edgy kid
>neighbour's daughter, we'll call her L, will be going to my same school next year
>back then, being the autistic kid i was, i drew mlp shit on my textbook, everywhere
>fast forward to summer, my friends dont know im cancer
>mom tells me my textbooks that i have used for the previous year will be given to L
>im ok with it
>notice she ignores me every morning soon after school started
>remember about drawings
>FUCK.jpg
>fast forward 2 years later
>L moved further away from me
>dont see her every morning
>thankgod
>spot her while she's walking back home, alone
>want to see if things are alright, maybe she forgot
>nope
>shout her name and run to her to greet her
>she runs away
>i... fucked up

What did you drew exactly?

you don't want to know, trust me

You don't need to lie to hang out with us.

Im bored. So whatever. Let me guess. Weird porn Or pony oc's?

Points for legendary attempt OP. Short and sweet story.

> Late night
> Home alone
> find my dead's dad's Camera
> Find some video tapes to put into the camera
> Found an Tap that has a title "Empty"
> still put it into the camera
> Starts to play on the TV
> A video starts to play
> I see two people having sex
> i keep watching it
> 10min into the video, i recognise that my sister and her boyfriend is filming it

I have a few, not of me, of this kid in my primary school called Alexander.

>be us all about 12 or 13
>Alex has always been weird, as was his family
>dad was strict christian, was really lankey
>wife was like fucking Jupiter

I'll post a few about this dude but here's the first.

>so when its lunch at school, a bell rings and we all have to que
>this is only like our class, so like 20 of us
>he gets in line, black chick called rihanna pushes in
>this is UK, and basically she was rough and would smash people
>stronger than eveyone
>shehulk.jpg
>she was sweet as though, I always got on with her
>he literally says
>"why are you niggers always so hungry"
>mfw
>hfw
>she literally just kicked his legs
>he falls head first onto this concrete curb thing
>boilingKettle.steam
>he screams this tone like a kettle
>teachers didn't even care
>he was last to get lunch coz he was crying on the floor

well, if you really want to know then ok. I drew fan art i saw on the internet on them,a lot. as of today i have no idea what happened to those textbooks, she probably still has them... or just threw them away

post video, otherwise fake and gay.

that isn't that bad to be honest. It could be worse.

"Around Blacks, Never Relax"

I'll cut to the chase with this August

>he has younger brother like 10 or something
>were like 13
>this is an after school club for kids whose parents are busy at work
>all sitting on bench
>I'm sitting next to him as in same class

I never really spoke to him unless I was fighting him, so don't get me wrong.

>he sitting next to brother and brothers friends
>they talking dunno about what
>hear him say
>"this is how you kiss girls when your older"
>oh fugg no
>look over as he grabs his little brothers head
>full on songs him
>tongue visible n shit
>oh fuck no
>kid throws up
>I was too young to even really remember what happened after

With this Alex* fuck that august shit my bad

From the ages of 13-15 I barely socialized with anyone in school. From the ages of 19-24, I don't socialize with anyone irl.

i feel you user :(

>Implying adolescent teens have a fucking lick of common sense...

Mein NEG

...

AH HA HA HA

How is this autistic at all?