Help, Sup Forums. I'm on vacation with my parents and sis, and I haven't been able to jack off for 4 days...

Help, Sup Forums. I'm on vacation with my parents and sis, and I haven't been able to jack off for 4 days. I'm going fucking crazy. Every girl is hot, and I wanted to fuck the Lactaid cow earlier today.

What do I do

Fuck your sister faggot

I honestly would at this point, but I don't think she'd go for that

suck your dad's dick

This

go jerk in a public bathroom, in a girls bathroom if you can. should offer you enough excitement to nut on the door handle or toilet seat.

Why would I nut on a toilet seat

Why not?

jack off under the fucking shower

If that's your sister, you should fuck her

omg just jerk off in the shower, are you retarded?

protip, don't lube with soap.

I can't get it up in the shower, trust me, I've tried

No use soap it's great.

You are desperate to jack and can't get it up huh?
Doesn't make sense.

Put your phone in a plastic bag and watch porn in the shower.

/thread

Doesn't the phone need air?

I don't know why, I've never been able to no matter what. It just shoots my boner in the face

Do you normally jack off a lot?

When u hard just say that you need to take a shit.

Are you fuxking serious, of course, it'll die otherwise, fucking hell man

Are you stupid or something?

Go and talk to said girls, try to sccre...
idk... what males are supposed to do...

Bruh

Like, 2 or 3 times a day. My GF was supposed to come along and we would have had our own room, but it didn't work out that way

...

Fuck this. You aren't trying hard enough or you're a pussy. Get off of Sup Forums and go find some vacation tail that you are never going to see again.

Where the fuck am I supposed to get away from my stupid family and fuck this imaginary piece?

Suck my dick user

Too bad you coulda cum all upp in er. So when you normally touch yourself instead of being with your GF...you lie down, right?

Fuck man don't get upset.

I would gladly accept a trap at this point. Lemme fuck that degenerate ass

Yep

>lactaid cow
Can you elaborate?

Try lying down in the shower. As out of the water as you can. Regular fapping with the same conditions makes anything else feel wrong.

Do you share a bed with sister or mom? Just tell sis you are cold and want to cuddle then rub it against her she wont even notice if it dont penetrate

This.

This bitch

Woops

I share it with my sister, but I think she'd notice a fat dong slipping up against her

Kys impatient child or learn how to control your chimp-like desires

I demand porn of this.

Ur a faget.

Degenerate? At least i know how to fap you fucking cocksucker.

like i said ask her to cuddle, girls love to cuddle. if she acts suspicious say "ewww not like that!" and change the subject.

go "take a shit" jack off into toilet you retard.

Rule 34 motherfucker.

jack off into the shit pile

I mean she would accept a snuggle, it's more like she'd very much notice a large hard object right where my cock is against her ass

find the crappiest bar in town go in bathroom. if there is a hole in wall it is a glory hole, put cock in and wait.

Lay down on your front side when you are in bed at night and press your right fist just at the top or beginning of your dick and then with your left index finger rub the side of your dick, been doing it that way since i was 4

Make sure to poop first, otherwise it feels weird.

Your're right user. Don't put it in a bag. Just take it in the shower without. You could risk seriously damaging it it does not get airflow by overheating the battery.

You cannot be that fucking retarded

Says the retard.

Shove a cucumber up your ass while sunging the russian national anthem during a family event.

Jesus mary.

So basically you're underage?

...

>find toilet
>jack off

I'm 19.

Fucking love you b.
/thread.

when im on vacation with my parents when young maybe age 12-16 i would look at moms tits but block her face out with my other hand and actl ike it was another girl and act like asleep and rub it out under sheets

why is milk coming outta her ass tho?

(That's how it's made for the lactose intolerant)

before you fuck a girl in the ass you enema her full of milk, underage confirmed

Fucking moron confirmed

Aww yiss

that's not what I do with your mother. but she does like the anal play.

Turn around?

cum makes more sense to me

this is a problem why?

What? Dont other people do that

This

...

...

...

Was she that ugly user?

...

Pussy

how does this even work?

also, just in case this helps

Do you take showers you fucking autist? If not you're disgusting. If you do, jerk off in the shower retard.

Just posted calling you a retard for not doing it in the shower, didn't read this. WTF HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT JERK OFF IN THE SHOWER?!?!?!? If you're really that horny you should be able to nut in a fucking morgue. Or fuck, even pretend you're taking a shit and do it on the toilet seat. I faced this same problem a few times growing up and never had a hard time, no pun intended.

an easy way is to cut a hole in th matress and stuff it with soft meats like bacon and hamb, it feels just like a pussie and you can cum in it for a week or more then just leave it and the maid will clean it with the sheets.

It makes cheese cow look awkward as fuck by comparison but yes, I can use all of this.