Well, user... I want YOU to join the Avengers

>Well, user... I want YOU to join the Avengers

What do you say?

will there be sluts?

Sure thing Nick Fury. You gotta sleep with my wife first.

but my only superpower is intense bitterness!

Can I fuck Black Widow?

can I bring friends?

Can I make AI's that will destroy countries and try to kill all humans but never be blamed for it because I'm an Avenger?

Then sure thing!

Did he die in the movies I haven't seen this lazy nig in a long time

You too.

i light up my cigar as the lit match reveals me to be wolverine and reply "well its about time, bub"

No. Out.

We'll talk. Out.

Out.

Expect Agent Romanov to contact you... for your sake, I hope you can run.

UHHHH

In.

o-out

In.

I don't use capital one, and I have 75 dollars in my wallet.

Great, my superpower is I'm Wanda's femdom bitch

is shitposting a superpower?

You don't get to bring friends, mothafucka.

FUCKING HYDRA, STEALING MY IMAGE

fuck off nigga mine can move

Fuck you motherfucker, we're in charge now.

Guns and armor

Great. My name is Meme Man, i can easily be the foundation of the team. In fact, had you arrived sooner my quick pepes would have prevented Civil War. I tell you now that i excel in memes that hit close, they all surpass any quip you have ever attempted. In fact, my shitposting isso powerfulit can derail the enemy's internet access and mental health. I am by far to be seen as a godlike being

>being dommed by Liz

Fuck that shit, i'm not fucking fighting Thanos without even being paid for it.

Can I fuck Aunt May?

While its an honor to use my great abilities to serve this great nation it isnt according to the teachings of Buddha my Vajrayāna ways.

And if I am to replace the great Lama as ruler of Tibet and the new Punani empire I'm afraid I have to decline to using my snatching powers to put others in harm.

>Nickfury3[1].jpg

h-how?

You get paid to be in the Avengers, plus you get to live in the Avengers mansion free. There's even a butler.

I understand the economy is rough so you can't make me my own bedroom, I'm fine living in Wanda's room, wherever my mistress wants me.

>Dr. Banner. I'm SLJ.

timing... and skills

Where's the REAL Nick Fury?

...

That's more like it!

Sure, but what do I have that makes me an asset?

LONG LIVE DC!!!!!!!!!!
*ejects button*

do I get to play Galaga?

Don't you need the button? Don't eject it.

Do you think the snakes wondered why someone wanted to shoot them out, before throwing them out of the plane?

that's your second bomb this year

Thanks, Director Mr. Fury, I'll use this opportunity to make my country proud, my hearing super abilities will be valuable for the team, and from now on I'll be a Super Hear-o.

well done

first post best post

my abilities include making certain events repeat themselves in a linnear fashion

So close

Can you fuck that white girl I've been trying to ask out for weeks over there? My super power is cuckoldry.

I think Chancelor Papaltine is a sith lord, the one we are looking for. I also might cut off your hand.

*Quips*

Only if I get to share Vision with Wanda.

Whats in it for me

Hello Rumlow