Fuck cooking. Fuck eating. I want to be like an engine that can have it's fuel tank filled all at once and infrequently...

Fuck cooking. Fuck eating. I want to be like an engine that can have it's fuel tank filled all at once and infrequently. I've done a bit of research into various ways to accomplish this and I want to know what experience Sup Forums has had with these and if any of them are a good idea.

>Medical "sole source nutrition" products that are used in hospitals for feeding people through a tube.

Good enough to sustain comatose people from days to years, and people who are critically injured but not in a coma can stay on it indeterminately as well. It can be bought cheaply in bulk and I can't find anything that explicitly says it goes bad in a span of time worth caring about. The only downside is it would be unpleasant to consume this stuff. Using a feeding tube wouldn't be much better however you could probably get used to jamming it down there however many times a day is optimal.

>Meal replacement drinks that you see in pharmacies marketed as diet aids

These aren't nutritionally complete so you would still have to drink some fruit juice and eat real food. Also they're expensive. Honestly I don't give a fuck about these at all but if there's something I don't know about them I want to hear it.

>Soylent

Was a really big deal for a little while but it kind of just fell off the public radar while I was still waiting to see how viable it was. From what I can find, it's nutritionally complete and palatable. There are a few posts around the net from people who claim it alone has sustained them for over a year but who knows what is and isn't shilling. It's more expensive than hospital stuff but cheaper than food. There are alternatives (like Keto Chow) but this is the main one.

>Fuck load of potatoes

Supposedly you can eat 20 potatoes in a day and have everything you need to carry on life functions. I'm thinking that going back to the feeding tube idea and having a machine that mashes large amounts of potatoes would be easier and faster than cooking three gay ass meals per day.

How about you just stop being a fat fuck and learn to enjoy raw fruits and vegetables instead of trying to replace all food with some fantasy where you don't have an eating disorder.

>fat

>does not enjoy eating

Because fuck that. I'm trying to find the best way to accomplish the goal of getting the correct molecules in the correct amounts into my body. Vegetables go bad and require me going to the grocery store all the time.

rofl at the whole "well oiled machine hurr durr" skit you are doing - fat fuck.

>What are frozen vegtables

Crystal meth is what you're looking for OP.

>Supposedly you can eat 20 potatoes in a day and have everything you need to carry on life functions. I'm thinking that going back to the feeding tube idea and having a machine that mashes large amounts of potatoes would be easier and faster than cooking three gay ass meals per day.
Wait a minute so you're gonna carry around a machine with 20 potatoes in it all day? Yeah sounds convenient.

A handicapped person I went to school with was physically incapable of eating, so one of the jobs the tard wranglers were tasked with was pumping some kind of brown paste through a tube into a hole in her stomach.

You could literally have a gas tank for your body if you had a system like that on the go. Something like a reverse colostomy bag that's tied around your thigh or something.

Do you carry your breakfast, lunch, and dinner around with you all day?

The idea is that you would do that before you eat the potatoes.

No, but I dont need a mashing machine to feed me through a tube, I just eat like a normal human.

I'm lolling. Please describe what monstrosity you're imagining in your head because I think we have two different ideas on what this setup is.

I knew someone like that back in grade school. They had to suck the spit out of her mouth every so often.

Its really why we need to destroy all of the cripples, for both our sakes.

Hey OP.
I totally understand. Don't know if what I have to say helps, but here's what I do.
I hate eating. Never liked it. Find it such an inconvenience. However, I love cooking and grow as much of my own fruit and veg as I can. I'll dry and can most of them throughout their seasons. The reason I do this, apart from love growing them, is I cook for my wife and daughter every day. Like I say, I love it.
For me tho, for years and years, I only eat once a day. Cause I need energy, obviously.
To do this, after work each day, I'll buy a foot long black forest ham on wheat with EVERYTHING on it. All the greens. I'll buy a bag of chips with it and have two glasses of 2% milk.
This gets me thru the 24 hours I need it to. I'm never hungry, never fat, and get all the vitamins I need. Like I said, I just don't like the idea of eating or having food in me, but know I need to eat. Maybe you could try something like this?
Supplements and pills are not enough, and without actual food don't go into the places your body needs them.
Find something you like, and have it once a day, as long as it has a good balance of nutrition.
Hope this helps.

not him, but i imagine a guy with a huge machine attached to his back, with a reservoir containing exactly 20 potatoes. pretty much every hour a potato would pop down from the reservoir into the potato mashing machine, mash the fucker up in 20 seconds and send it through a tube right down OP's throat.

The question is, what is a Sup Forumstard so busy with thst he doesn't have time to make and consume his meals?

How about hitting the lottery and hiring a catgirl maid to spoonfeed her homecooked nutritious dung into your fat lazy mouth?

Rice and beans is what you're looking for. Carbs, complete protien, cheap, and easily made ahead. Combine that with a multivitamin.

The furer would kick your fat ass.

this is interesting. i myself have tried reducing my eating to two large meals a day (which is a challenge when trying to gain mass at the same time) and i would do it more often, except i prefer the idea of eating over a onger period of time but almost all the time

Pita'd

wat

Pissed in the ass

is that some kind of corruption of LOL?

I'm not into mass or stuff like that. I'm broad and well built. Not skinny, but pretty toned. It's just the idea of eating I don't like. Having food tires me out. So I cut it down to one meal a day. My body is more efficient, I'm more alert, never sluggish, and more productive. It works for me, but I think I'm smart about it. Vegetables are important. And a subway sandwich, chips and two glasses of milk each day is about $6.

I think about this sort of thing, less out of laziness and more because of the collossal misallocation of labor that goes into food preparation. Best I've come up with is something called the BP-5 Compact Food units.

>Trying to build mass
>Only eating twice a day
Why even bother?

Ye

Thank you. This is pretty much the exact kind of thing I was looking for.

>Non perishable (up to years)
>Low volume
>Nutritionally complete

I want to stockpile these.

We're going Bane mode now.