ITT we make wishes and anons grant them with a twist

ITT we make wishes and anons grant them with a twist.

I wish I could travel through time.

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You can travel through time but your destination is always the current moment

i wish i had an mp3 player in my head that would always play music to perfectly suit me at that moment
i could control the volume and turn it on or off via my brain

the quality is so shit it's unplayable.

Granted but it's always a Nickleback song.

I wish I could become invisible at will

You are more and more likely to get super AIDs with each attemp.

I can shoot fire out my penis.

But you have a urethra infection

>I wish i had a father

your father leaves you immediately

I wish I could read minds

one day it gets jammed and that song playing over and over 24/7 drives you insane

you can read minds, but you are retarded.

I wish i could fly

>9875▶
>
kek

I wish my cock was the size of a nigger's

You can fly, but only 3 feet above the ground.

I wish I could change my gender at will.

Your flight control is inverted randomly

>I wish I could have all games on Steam.

Granted but you can only fly for 1 second every 3 hours

Granted, but only inside an airborne aircraft

the nigger has a micropenis

Granted but now you're black

I wish I could teleport to anywhere on the planet

but it has huge, disgusting bumps on it, and the tip is always flacid. but only the tip.

I wish I could xray at will, and see through clothing.

You can but only 1 inch off the ground
The average nigger's cock size is shortened to 1 inch

You also see through skin, revealing the skeleton underneath

>I wish I could morph my body to whatever I wanted it to look like

I wish I had a gf

/thread

Xray penetrates to skeletal/muscular level

I wish I could be OP and not suck fat dong

I wish I could make friends more easily, with people I want to be friends with, without any illegal activities going on, they like me for me, and I determine how long I want to remain friends with them, regardless of where they are.

Thread ends, but you're still stuck on Sup Forums

She fucks other people in your bed.

Granted but now you always want to look like a fat femnazi

I wish trump was president of the world

Done, but you can only change it in Internet chat rooms.

Done. Keep in mind that anything you materialize around will be stuck in your body, and after a few uses outside of a vacuum your organs will fail from all the dust and shit.

I wish for the power to move you trough rock ballads.

You have a gf but she has the AIDS.

I wish I had more smokes

Granted but no one recognizes his sovereignty, not even amurika

All your friends end up being imaginary
>I wish i has super speed

granted, but it required a pact with satan and he's going to collect in 13 years.

Granted, but it only moves people away from you.

Your gf is extremely religious and wont even kiss before marriage

I wish i could revive the dead

deep

>with people

Granted, but the smokes are your fingers and they never grow back.

Granted but now you're addicted to meth

I wish for lies to be foul smelling like farts

They're still rotten af, essentially rendering them sentient chunks of meat.

Checked

Done, but this thread ceases to exist, which means your wish wouldn't be made, which means OP would suck fat dong again, trapping you in a paradox loop.

I wish for a glass of clean, gently-chilled water.

Granted, but you can only revive dead birds.

I wish that I could transform my body to my liking.

Granted but anyone you revive wants nothing but to kill you for reviving them

Granted, truth smells worse

granted, but only forward in time, by one second intervals

It's a shot glass

Granted, but they come back as zombies

i wish black lives didn't matter

Granted, but you will never be able to drink the water. It will spill on you no matter what.

I wish I didn't have to feel anymore

Water is collected from your mother's vagina, filyeted, and chilled to your liking

Can only play Justin Bieber.

Granted but anyone can change your body to their liking as well.

granted
two thirds of relationships end over the next year

Granted, but then white people become oppressed

i wish for more wishes

You have all games on steam but the only ones that with are MLP.

Granted, but you become black

Granted, but you're still completely conscious.

I wish I could control others' minds

I wish I could instantly travel anywhere in the universe any time I wanted.

I wish I had uncorruptable wishes to not be tampered with from the effects of this wish. They will be just as powerful. They will be as plentiful as I want. No negative effects shall stem from this one, and before the wish itself is granted, I am made aware of any side effects that may occur, and I can edit them or erase them if I wanted.

Wishes are powered by human lives. Every wish you make a random person dies.

that's not a twist
that's just not granting the wish

Granted but they can control your mind as well.

Done, but all language smells like shit, and you're the only one who can smell it.

I wish I knew I didn't have to settle for a shitty bulbasaur for my first Pokemon Go monster.

Granted, but you'll always reappear as a different species

Can only control the minds of squirrels.

Damn...

fuck
how edgy and selfish should i be?
also chekt

granted, but you can only go there for a millisecond one time

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not get silly about this.

...but you cant choose the location

The friction from travelling so fast kills you.

Granted, but you can only travel into the middle of major battles and inquisitions

No. He wished for all steam games. He has them all. But only MLP games work.

I wish I could do a 360 and walk away

I wish I could do really good celebrity impressions.

I wish that I had a qt sex slave

Granted, but you can never use a computer again.

I wish Anita Sarkeesians asshole was surgically attatched to my mouth, human centipede style.

Granted, but you are now in debt for the worth of the games.

Grsnted, they only sound good to you, and you pull them out whenever there is an awkward silence

You can do a really good celebrity impression of only Nicholas Cage

>I wish for dat boi to be a good meme again

youtu.be/LJQ-LZYAMBQ

You can only walk forward.

>I wish I could travel through time

Everytime you time travel you gain ten years in age and your dick shrinks by 1 inch.

Granted, but Anita Sarkeesians asshole was surgically attatched to your mouth

I wish that I could grant wishes, and choose whether to tack on a horrible twist or not.

What's the negative?

granted, but it replaces the banana as the killer of ylyls

Granted, but you turn too fast and break your legs every time.

Does that mean eventually he'll turn into a woman or just a man with an inverse dick?

Granted, you can't grant your own wishes.

You walk into a wall, everyone laughs at how clumsy you are.

Granted. The rest of her body, however, is not attached. She will be forever deformed with her surgically reconstructed anus, while you are left with a shriveled dead ring of flesh attached to your lips.

I wish I wasn't a person that went on b

I wish I could violently shart on whoever replies to this