What the fuck? This movie was incredibly mediocre. What's with all the 5 star reviews?

What the fuck? This movie was incredibly mediocre. What's with all the 5 star reviews?

Other urls found in this thread:

usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2016/04/13/captain-america-civil-war-premiere/82970758/
usatoday.com/story/life/movies/2016/03/22/review-batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice-movie/82089610/
usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2016/03/21/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice-premiere-5-things-we-learned/82065034/
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

mediocrity is comfy

You have shit taste. Maybe you should've seen Ratchet and Clank instead.

It has been the best capeshit in years.

I've been asking myself the same question for just about all capeshit for the past eight years.

kill yourself zgeneration scum

>Liked Civil War
>says others have shit taste

Mediocrity is all you gotta aim for. These are products, not movies.

I have no idea, but apparently people are starting to ask the same now.

>but apparently people are starting to ask the same now.

Where are the people starting to ask the same?

Well said.

Here's one.

The mouse is rich

Critics are basically glorified bloggers with the same warped judgement and mentality that their audience has. They're out of touch.

>if you don't like being a cuck then maybe you should fuck men

D
I
S
N
E
Y

Millennial alert

Why is MCU deadset on making Cap look faggy? Adam West's Batcowl looks more serious than this shit.

Sure it's not you? Box office talks.

Plebs detected

Mob mentality. Marvel movies are at the point where pointing out flaws with anyone of them, especially the hyped ones like civil war, is seen as abnormal. And the last thing any "reviewer" wants is to be in the minority.
I really liked civil war, but it's immunity to any real criticism is kinda annoying.

holy shit its real

disney is buying reviews

People like this

It's literally a 7.5/10 on RT. Stop being a cuck

Why do superheroes have to wear custumes? What's wrong with putting a sock over your head? Why put on a stupid helmet and look like a fucking faggot?

It's tradition.

The "A" stands for autism.

Kek so true.

If your fans only had to wear a sock to pretend to be you, you wouldn't be able to make money selling merchandise.

This. It is designed for both adults and children, with some moments of dept. If it swings to children the reviews will be lukewarm but if it attempts to go full adult it will be destroyed (critical reviews).

"They will race after you. They will stumble, they will fall, but in time, they will join you on the spectrum."

Its a good movie. Each character has good motivations and moments, they feel like proper fleshed out characters you've spent a lot of time with, they have actual emotions, all things something like Age of Ultron lacked. It has great action too, there's a lot of weight behind some scenes. Its good. I have read this thread and there is nothing but namecalling, no criticism of the movie. I'm not saying popularity means its good but all the positive things people say about it seem to have thought put into it on other websites and all I see here are posts like this I mean, come on.

i was disappointed tbhfamalam

i thought the emotional scenes didnt carry the weight that they should, i understood fully what they were but thought the delivery fell a bit flat

i still give it a thumbs up, but i still finished feeling let down

well maybe that's because ive watched it three times, the first time i was pretty into it, in six months or so if i watch it again i guess ill find out what i think of it

Well there's obviously something to it if you watched it three times. Its not "incredibly mediocre" though because its better than any other action movie recently.

That lack of impact is the Disney showing through. They've perfected the art of superficial emotionality. It's like junk food in a way - it might satisfy your hunger in the moment, but in the end, it's just empty calories. TFA suffers from the same problem.

offer a superior alternative. then we'll know if you're just baiting.

At least the special effects were literally flawless and beyond criticism and Marvel rules.

As far as capeshit is concerned, Nothing. Capeshit is mediocre by default.

No, it wasn't. Was it perfect? No.
But at least it wasn't that messy pile of garbage that was BvS.

Was it better than BvS? Of Course. It was still a shit movie, though.

>Thinking movie actual critic still exists nowadays.
Only some youtubers now give their true impression of a film.

The costume wasnt CGI, only the shield was (in that shot)

you could say that of every hollywood blockbuster in the history. the REAL problem are your retarded expectations.

The anons saying that mediocrity is all you have to aim for is correct, but I'd also like to point out that Disney figured out the internet much earlier than its competitors and it's leveraging all of you to help market its movies.

For one, they figured out sometime back that the movie-going internet users are obsessed with Rotton Tomatoes. Nevermind the fact that the Tomatometer is a horrible way to judge the actual quality of a movie; many people treat it like the word of God when it comes to how good a movie is. So Disney utilizes this now to their advantage by:

1) Making their movies just palatable enough for most general critics that they'll simply give it a "thumbs up", which is only helpful for RT and

2) Holding early screenings where they spend a lot of money schmoozing the reviewers, getting them all boozed up and in a good mood so they generally walk out of the theater pleasantly comfy at the absolutely mediocre product they just watched.

Both of these things hit the Tomato Score fast and hard, which generates insane internet buzz. Combine this with the fact that Disney now releases these movies in literally everywhere but the United States now and you have the internet crowd in the fucking bag. Now throw in a $200 million dollar mass marketing campaign for the normies, and there's your $1 billion.

Disney has this shit down to an absolute science, but they utilize Rotton Tomatoes now more than ever to make people think their movies are much better than they actually are. If you look at all the "fresh" reviews for Civil War, most of them say the same thing: "Yeah it was okay, fights were cool, RDJ is always fun to watch, nothing special but thumbs up!"

filtered

Off the top of my head?

The Godfather
The Godfather II
A Clockwork Orange
Citizen Kane
The Shining
Jaws
The Empire Strikes Back
On the Waterfront
Pyscho
To Kill a Mockingbird
Drive
Schindler's List
Annie Hall
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Chinatown
Taxi Driver
The Maltese Falcon
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Goodfellas
The Sixth Sense
The Dark Knight
Sofie's Choice
Bladerunner
Easy Rider
Seven Samurai
In the Heat of the Night
Pulp Fiction
Saving Private Ryan
Room
North by Northwest
Dr. Strangelove
Apocalypse Now
Sunset Boulevard
Requiem for a Dream
Full Metal Jacket
The Apartment
Inglourious Basterds
Snatch
Spider-Man 2
Pan's Labyrinth
Heat
Trainspotting

i tried watching it in one sitting and it was so FUCKING TEDIOUS, i kept stopping it to do stuff as mundane as mowing the lawn or brushing my teeth

after three days, im still at 1:10 or something, and i feel like its a fucking chore to finish this movie because there is so much pretention CRINGE to the entire bullshit "oh gosh we're causing collateral damage we have to be socially responsible" plot that underlies the boring and derivative action sequencing

best part was actually aunt may

Was this review 5 stars? This is the only real review anyone will ever hear that isn't long-winded manchildren talking about their faggot fantasies.

You're a disgusting tripfag, but this is correct in every single way.

yeah I thought it was only slightly better than Ultron. My brother thought it was way better than Winter Soldier, so I know its not that good.

Sorry, forgot to take a one-time trip off. Please ignore that.

Is literally impossible discuss this movie's merits without bringing up Batman Vs Superman?

>where they spend a lot of money schmoozing the reviewers

when will you delusional dccucks give up on this idea

When they stop doing it.

How about you post some proof before you throw out such wild claims

Oh wait you have none

>implying I care about capeshit at all
>AT ALL

>capefaggot acting high and mighty

in some sense they do it, but every other studio could do the same, if they were smart enough.

blaming the game, just because you lose it is infantile

Well, the only screening held at the time the embargo was lifted was the Hollywood premier at Grauman's, so the handful of critics that reviewed it when it had a 100% on RT were either psychic or must have attended the premier. A World Premier is a star-studded, boozy affair. Doesn't take a genius.

In other words, you have no proof, gotcha

Hey idiot, no one ITT is saying Disney is literally paying or bribing critics in any way with these movies. That would be stupid. What we're saying is that at the initial Hollywood red carpet premieres, they get the critics all happy and boozy so they find the mediocre shit much more palatable.

When you grow up you'll understand; it's much easier to tolerate mediocrity and shit when you're slightly tipsy and your general atmosphere is comfy.

Batman vs. Superman was ripped apart because it was a 2 hour 40 minute long fucking mess of a film, and rightly so, but Disney is really getting away with mediocrity here.

In other words, no matter what I say, however logical, you will still come down in favor of Marvel. Gotcha

>he still has no proof

why are u replying again?

Excellent observations, my tripfaggy friend.

Do you actually have proof there was a premier or are you just going to continue talking out of your ass like a mindless DCuck?

Here is one critic that attended the premiere, USA Today's film reviewer:

usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2016/04/13/captain-america-civil-war-premiere/82970758/

Again, it's not really hard to read in-between the lines with these things. A skill that comes with age.

Jesus, back to Sup Forums

>usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2016/04/13/captain-america-civil-war-premiere/82970758/
>Spider-Man's introduction in the movie will make you laugh. And clap.
>And clap.
>USA Today

Kek. You really can't make this shit up can you. Oddly enough, no one in my theater in Burgerland clapped during any part of the movie, or after it. I was really surprised.

>USA Today
usatoday.com/story/life/movies/2016/03/22/review-batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice-movie/82089610/

lol. shitposters btfo

Yes, and?

...

It wasn't ripped apart.

Yeah that's what 28% means. 28% of critics liked it.

kino

>in some sense they do it, but every other studio could do the same, if they were smart enough.
>blaming the game, just because you lose it is infantile

Were you paying attention?
In Disney's game, the audience loses, user.

If every other studio did the same thing, audiences would be tricked into seeing mediocre movies non stop.

usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2016/03/21/batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice-premiere-5-things-we-learned/82065034/

A similar article about a similar event from the same source. If it is to be believed that Civil War got great reviews because of the great service provided at the premiere then how come BvS wasn't as positively received after hosting a similar event?

We aren't a player in the game you idiot, that doesn't make sense.

We are like spectators complaining that teams that win are boring to watch and too similar.

Also you aren't going to bad mouth a movie made by the people who invited you to it and gave you free shit.

Hell if Disney had a showing of the Star Wars Christmas special, and I got invited, ticket, booze food all free, got to meet and socialize with celebs and other people in the industry, you bet your arse I'd give it a decent review.

I don't know. Even as a manchild who loves comics who enjoyed it, I thought there was enough wrong with it to knock it down to 3/5.

>Also you aren't going to bad mouth a movie made by the people who invited you to it and gave you free shit.

SeeThere was a similar held for critics for BvS yet the general reception still came out negative.

You want the literal reason for those reviews?

Zemo, Spider-Man, Aunt May and Paul Rudd saved the movie.

Special dispensation goes to Hawkeye for being aloof and sezzy, Black Panther for being bigger than Batman at his own game, and Wanda/Vision emotional power playing eachother.

Runner up: Tony.

I think it's a very small step above mediocrity. I gave it 6/10. For comparison's sake, I gave BvS 3/10 and Deadpool 7/10.

I'm done with this Mickey Mouse-tier soap opera drama. It doesn't help either that all the fight scenes are edited by a teenager with Tourette's and Parkinson's, it's as if they want to distract the audience from how shoddy everything looks by waving a flashlight on their face. I couldn't give a damn about any of these sterile excuses for characters. During the airport scene all the artificially-inflated conflict devolved into a child playing with one toy in each hand and bashing them together.

It's riddled with sophomoric and shallow pseudo-political ponderings that are thrown out the window when the quiptastic action starts. They completely disregard for the umpteenth time the collateral damage while they're having fun showcasing their flashy abilities.

The third act pretends to get serious when in reality it turns into a cheap heartstring manipulation revolving around "why didn't you tell me Cap waaa".

This part completely disregards the fact that Stark knows all too well that brainwashing and mental manipulation is a thing, let's not forget that he has witnessed it firsthand with Banner. There's no excuse for him to have such a sudden change of heart other than to extend the conflict for another 15 minutes of mindless violence, and leave the manchildren with the impression that they've just witnessed an intricate revenge tragedy.

All smoke and mirrors, the constant quipping is an effective tool to cloud a fanboy's mind and judgement.

Finally, what's left is an entire team of "world-class" heroes that got fooled by a man wearing a Bucky mask. Not to mention that the villain's stale trope was better executed 19 years ago when Scream 2 came out, ironically, a film satirizing this cliché.

If you don't think this is cartoonish and laughable you might be too young to post on this site.

>Even as a manchild who loves comics

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure you are

>There's no excuse for him to have such a sudden change of heart

I'm pretty sure they've spent like 17 movies establishing that Stark is an egotistical manchild with parental issues, anxiety, and guilt

this
they have to hit the middle line and make it as accessible and simple so it attracts the biggest possible audience

My sides

It is the continuation of formulaic movies. Here is the deal, if you want to make a commercially successful movie you cannot appease hardcore fans. That isn't in the formula. Intro the reluctant hero, threat arises, dominates, hero finds a muse, suffers a setback, rises to the threat, and roll credits. That isn't story telling, it is accounting.

Pasta but it's true.

>am I Sup Forums enough for you guys yet

It was okay 6/10, winter soldier was better.

It was meh, 5/10. Felt like they were doing cap movie and halfway thru decided to pull avengers. Dialogues were bad, conflict was stupid, only one good action sequence (at bucky's safe house), airport scene was pure marvel comic shit (it's a plus for some people). Marvel makes movies for 15 yrs old. WS was better.

>airport scene was pure marvel comic shit
So you want a Marvel movie to not be a Marvel superhero movie?

I want a movie to be a movie. When you talk about collateral damage and crash the shit out of the airport toying with your powers and joking around (yes-yes, it was evacuated, but i guess tony have enough money to cover damage) it's comic book cringy and in not a good way

Welcome to superhero movies.

fuck are you even talking about, it was an extremely entertaining fight, that was character drive and key to the plot

Capeshit in a nutshell.

ITT: disney shills on suicide watch