I tried to hang myself last night but couldnt take the pain. I woke up in agony. I dont want to live. I have no money...

I tried to hang myself last night but couldnt take the pain. I woke up in agony. I dont want to live. I have no money. Someone please help me

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Eat a can of fish assholes, you'll feel better

Please i want to kill myself someone help me do it quick. I cabt take it anymore im suffering

Go sell your anal virginity out in the street. Who knows, maybe you will discover a reason to live.

I just want a quick way out. Maybe a way to not make it hurt when i hang. I just want to be dead right now

Why?

it doesn't fucking hurt, faggot.

when it's my time im going to chain my legs to something extremely heavy and handcuff myself and jump into the water with the weight

it might not be fast or painless but it's what feels right for me

if i cant feel life slipping away as im heading towards the bottom of the ocean/lake and starting to drown then i never really lived

I think i might just suck it up and sit through the pain. But it really does hurt a lot

I'm guessing you don't have a gun?

In any case, they might just blow off your jaw, instead of killing you. Try a heroin overdose. I hear they're pure bliss, then you just die. Or buy 4 litres of vodka, chug everything. Die without pain.

What's wrong, bro? :/

I would if i could aford it or even find heroine. This is all i have. I wish it was easy. I wish I had a gun.

youtube.com/watch?v=113u9CjoKgw

RIP OP

put a plastic bag over your head. Suffocate without the urge to take a breath.

Though really, you should try talking to suicide prevention hotlines. You from US?

Thats one of the most fucked up ways to go... As u descend the reflex to breathe in settles... But you cant, coz the pressure wont let you. You wont even drown... You just suffocate and die in an extreme chest pain

You say you don't want to live but you clearly do, because a man who doesn't want to live would die. What you actually want, is to not feel like you're feeling now and that's very different to wanting to die. You have to learn to understand your emotions and stop jumping to the worst possible option right away, that's not how you mend things. If I may indulge my inner cunt, stop being a faggot OP.

no. help yourself.

it's not that fucking hard to kys.

enjoy your misery loser

What are you fuckin gay dude?

These thoughts usually go away after 1.5 years. Try holding out til then, and try to be outside among people, don't hole yourself up in your room.

Also, become a drug dealer. If you can't get a job then that's the way to go.

Where are you from OP?
I always ask but no ones every in the UK or close to me.
I would help

Take a lot of pain killers and you won't feel a thing then you're dead

Dude it isnt hard to figure out.

fuck me... someone on on Sup Forums actually spitting some helpful truth.

Checked. I've always thought drowning would be terrible, but a work mate drowned, and was revived, and he said it was both painless and calm. The urge to breathe just faded away. Also, have you seen that Navy SEAL dock where the recruits pass out in the pool? They don't seem to suffer either.

This is wrong for many painkillers

Your workmate was a full of shit mouth breather.

Come on OP.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM!?

Go to the highest place u can and jump.... feel adrenaline pumping for the last time... and pass away painless when u hit the ground...

Or.... find a police officer... ask for directions.... when he points... stole his gun and shoot yourself in the face....

Go to the highway... wait for a speeding truck... jump in front of it....


All of them painless...

Move your ass and kill yourself biatch!!!!!!!

New York

Haha jews are picking through our shit.

At least they get paid

Just find somewhere thats really high up and jump off it... Not that hard... Or stab yourself in the heart... Go try to rob something and charge at the cops when they come... Seriously, tons of ways for you to die, you just don't want to die that bad...

Hyperventilate then hold your breath in some water face down. The urge to breath is from carbon dioxide build up not lack of oxygen.

Hyperventilating reduces the CO2 and you'll just pass out without noticing and never wanting to breath.

Just fill a bath tub with a couple inches of water or you can use toilet.

Make sure to hand cuff your hands behind your back and be fully clothed. Also best to cut your forearms a bit. This will make the cops think someone murdered you.

Only hard part is to implicate your most hated enemy I leave that up to google sensei to help you out.

jump off the building

Replacing the "I" in illness with "We" turns illness to wellness. um Malcolm X said something similar.

we all will die one day maybe inside of killing your self you keep living looking forwards till the day you die the day you die.

Wow. Some serious edge riders in here.

The officer one is pretty stupid tbh, first of all the gun is holstered and you need to open it before grabbing the gun, secondly, you dont have much time to choose where to aim and thirdly, the officer will call an ambulance immediatly after, and you might survive, but as a vegetable for the rest of your life

Could always give meaning to your death. Screaming Allah Ackbar then killing as many people as you can is a great way to leave this world and help a good cause at the same time.

Malcolm X was a racist fuck.

See, never from the UK.

The cops would shoot you in the leg or some other part of your body, they wont torso or head

stop trying. live for pleasure, dont worry about the consequences. dont try to kill yourself, dont try to get better, dont try anything. live in pure pleasure until your mind is either healed or your body is dead, whichever happens first.

You fucktard, rob somebody or someshit then buy a helium tank and a mask literally painless and quick

Also, if you replace the "sp" in spit with a "sh" you accurately describe your advice.

become drug lord
art as Dealer

What?

I like that. Personally I've thought of suffocation by using duct tape and restraining myself with rope and all that before the reflexes kick in. If I live near a deep enough body of water by then I'll go for that, actually.

Top Kek

Actually maybe I can go for burning instead. See what the monks actually handled. And see how long I can go before pissing myself like a pussy. The options are limitless.

Im in the same boat man. I wosh I had the courage to drive off of a high overpass.

Dude just buy a fuck ton of helium, seal up a room and let it all out, helium kills you without you knowing, you'll just eventually pass out, and you'll probably enjoy yourself and realise you don't want to die

>Doesn't realize CO2 will still build up after you stop hyper ventilating
>Doesn't realize your body will still spaz naturally after you pass out, keeping you from dying
>Doesn't realize toilets are gross

What country do you live in

Of course stopping the way I feel is what I want. I understand my emotions well and there is no way to just stop or change them. I WANT to die and am a raging coward.

most people get sick and throw them up before dying. Overdose is one of the least effective forms of suicide b/c it's too easy to pass out and risk some white knight intervening.

Even after that, it's damn miserable. Popped two bottles extra strength Tylenol before. You vomit for a few hours, dry heave a few more, then start vomiting small block blobs for another half or full day. And that isn't even for the people who get to die - I survived that much without treatment.

Consider OD on cough pills like robitussin, and then when you're tripping and can't feel pain, hanging. Maybe a full two grams.

...

Kek

The whole reason I want to die is because THERE IS NO pleasure. Just pain and loss.

I mean, really.

Cough pills to dissociate and not feel pain, then hanging, cutting the artery by the groin, ...

Hanging, firearms, cutting the artery by the groin /without/ pills if you can handle the pain, ...

Helium in a bag and tying it around the head (You can also breathe out, suck in helium, and duct tape the mouth and nose, if the bag isn't working for you), ...

The fact OP is struggling to find a method means they're either absolutely retarded and don't deserve help, or that they don't actually want to die and just want people to comfort them. In which case, good for you, fuck off and tell a therapist you want comfort instead of asking Sup Forums how to do it.
Get the self-awareness to realize you want people to tell you you're ok rather than thinking what you want is to suicide.

And considering the childish antics of trying to convince others that suicide is your only option, it's clear you don't give a damn about suiciding and only want people to comfort you and hug you like a faggot. Go get a therapist and work with them honestly for a few years. There's your best option. Faggot.

Are you fucking retarded OP?
Also post credit card info since you won't be using it where you're going.

>search.yahoo.com/search?fr=mcafee&type=C111US662D20150117&p=clinical psychologists in my area

>search.yahoo.com/search?fr=mcafee&type=C111US662D20150117&p=local job openings in my area

>rexulti.com/us/mdd/about-depression/?ceid=9184&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=unbrandedmdd_dtc&utm_term=diagnosedwithdepression&utm_content=unbranded_textad

and if none of these are appealing

youtube.com/watch?v=cJwsJXbS_Ok&feature=youtu.be

I dont have the money. Also some of the responses are not me

Bro
1: don't kill yourself you dumb cunt
2: just get a credit card from the bank, it's not like you're gonna need to pay off debts when you're dead