Story time!

Story time!

> Be me
> Work at big gov office
> Manage value assessment complaints
> Work is fine, office is nice
> Office roomie is equal parts mental and stupid though

what a great story bro!

> Roomie want's to play Pokemon GO
> I don't play it
> "Hey user, how do you catch a Pokemon?"
> I think you throw a Pokeball at it
> "I don't have such a thing! Look at this screen"
> Standing in field, message says "catch a Pokemon"
> I don't know, maybe tap it?
> Goes mental right there
> Screams at me "oh yea Professor?!"
> furiously tapping screen, shoving phone into my face
> "You should probably tap the Pokemon" I say as calmly as possible
> "And where is that?!"
> There are literally three surrounding her
> Prolly the starting Pokemon
> Tell her they are all around her
> "Is that Pokemon?"
> "Yes.."
> Tries tapping them
> Still fails tapping Pokemon
> Stomps back and forth, hissing
> Grumbles and smashes phone unto desk
> mfw she couldn't catch a Pokemon in Pokemon GO

and thennnn

And then you read the first green text dear user

Was she trying to catch Trigglypuffs?

> Giving roomie a ride to work
> Had just been in a store selling all kinds of VR equipment
> Tried the whole damn thing
> Really impressive, had a blast
> Was a bit sorry I hadn't had time to try the rally simulator
> Roomie's response?
> "I don't know what rally is"
> mfw she has never heard about rally
> mfw I wasn't even surprised anymore

She eventually caught a Squirtle, then asked if we could drive home...

> trying to catch a gold fish to grant me 3 wishes
> catches moldy oar
> goes home

I work with children and they actually use the word "cuck" as an insult. They have no clue what it means but the word has basically become the new "fag".

>hear kids arguing at lunch
>go and separate it, ask one what happened
>HE CALLED ME A CUCK AND I TOLD HIM TO STOP LIKE FIVE TIMES
>kids he was sitting with are laughing
>i walk over and have to establish it as a word that's off limits

How I keep a straight face half the time I don't know

This one is a bit longer...

> Roomie has been working from home work station
> Angry from the very beginning of the next day
> "I couldn't work ALL DAY yesterday because of stupid computer problems! Fucking electronic letters won't work"
> OK.jpg
> Lent her my guide two days before
> She had instruction first hand
> It's like "pick letter", "pick adress", "click to send"
> Still she managed to fuck it up
> Anyway, start working
> Random outbursts from roomie
> Stomping of the foot on the floor
> Loud hisses
> Clapping of hands on the table
> Furious clicking of the mouse (how she got that is a whole story in itself).
> Marching in and out of the office, stomping
> This goes on for a couple of hours
> Finally complains loudly about how fucking stupid the electronic letter system is
> Summons secretary
> Secretary fixes problem - "user, all you have to do is this and this"
> The whole fucking scenario repeats
> Roomie made a mistake herself again
> The whole fucking scenario repeats again
> I tell her what she's doing wrong
> She is to refrain from writing in the automated fields
> She does it again
> "This fucking office sucks", "Nothing ever works around here!", "I've not been able to work all day because of this fucking system"
> "Sending an email has never been more difficult, what the fuck?!"
> I already told her it has nothing to do with emailing, even explained it.
> Thank God this day is over soon

A bad colleague can ruin work for you just as much as a bad boss. Plus it's a woman so it's always a possibility she could complain about sexual harassment if you don't keep her happy.

I feel for you fam.

you're just a fucking asshole op

people have different levels of intelligence and autism.

you need to be more fucking patient than venting on b

> Roomie from Hell goes nuts one day
> Storms out of office
> "IT-dude get in here!"
> "This fucking machine did it again!"
> "It deleted all my work!"
> "I worked all day on this fucking case!" (not true, she spent most of the day texting).
> IT-dude frantically trying to solve the problem
> Nothing seems to be wrong
> Roomie yelling, complaining, stomping, clapping, hissing
> The whole fucking circus
> IT-dude trying to calm her down, trying to stay assertive
> "Maybe you saved in a different location"
> "..."
> She did
> This took two hours

Actually she should be sedated in a padded room, away from anything living or of value. 4/10.

I feel for you dude.

How long have you been working with her, and does she do this shit often?

> First month of work
> We were both hired as replacements for some pensioners
> Roomie not comfy
> Chair not ok
> really, really, really not OK
> Complains errrry day for a week
> Has another chair brought in
> Best chair evar
> Two days pass
> "Worst chair evar! Fucking killing me this place!"
> "Oh my back hurts so much! Doesn't yours?"
> She sits overbent all day
> Literally like a longbow, ass out, shoulders all the way back
> Me: "noo, I switch positions like the therapists said we should"
> She gets a bosu ball
> A fucking bosu ball
> Can't blow it up, lacks equipment
> Best boss in the world takes it with her home
> Boss' husband blows it up
> "Oh my God I can't sit on this thing it's too small"
> Gets another chair
> We now have three chairs and a ball for one woman
> Same with computer mouse
> Complained and complained and complained loudly for days
> had three different mice bought
> One has never been opened...

Eight months. We were hired at the same time.
She does this almost every day.

Sometimes she just exhales sharply, punches the desk and runs out.

Nobody even asks why anymore

> New street vendor in town
> Buddies talk about it
> Try it out with the gf
> Really good mexican food
> Fucking cheap too
> Talk about it at work, other graduates also liking this place
> Roomie want's to try it out
> Comes back next day
> "worst meal of my life"
> Fair enough
> "No, really disgusting!"
> OK I get it
> "I thought you liked good food! This was just yuck! Oh my God so bad!" (I'm kind of a foodie, trying out top restaurants and food vendors in my country and abroad)
> "I can't even begin to describe how bad that food was user"
> This goes on for days
> days...

I honestly think that she's been trained, Pavlov style, to believe that this is OK.

Instead of ignoring or supporting her behavior, you should let her know that it's not OK, and soon she will get the message. You don't have to be drastic or rude or passive-aggressive about it. Just let her know that what she is doing is not the norm.

I really don't want to. She was sent away from home because her parents couldn't control her. They are good, educated people with high professions. I think she's born with it. Autism.

She takes everything in a literal way and will automatically oppose any claim, even if obviously not called for.

How she got through law school is beyond me.. (she never even finished primary bc of behavioral problems btw)

> Another fine day.
> Roomie has problems with her computer
> She cannot make the search engine give her a certain list
> Calls IT-department
> Nothing works, nothing at all
> Complains loudly to me
> Highly suspect it might be herself again
> This goes on for... days.. fucking days
> I finally dare look into it myself
> Mind you, she's fucking mental
> I avoid telling her anything because she will likely not understand it and become frustrated
> Frustrated is bad
> It becomes evident within minutes, that she does the search wrong
> Basically gives too little information, making the system drown in returned results
> IT-department couldn't find a fault in the system because there was none
> Roomie has now spent several days surfing on the Interweb and yelling in the phone
> Have principal tell roomie what she did wrong to avoid any backlashes (she hadn't realized that I had solved her "problem")
> mfw she spent several hours yesterday going through the very same thing with another co-worker
> "thank you for going over this search engine with me"
> Feel like anheroing

what is a rally

I think he's talking about a VR racecar simulator

> Go to work on fine morning
> Pick up roomie
> She's late as usual
> She knows I'm parking illegally in a bus lane to pick her up
> Always 3 - 5 minutes late even though she lives on the other side of the road. Literally.
> Always running, a thousand bags in hand and on shoulder
> I say "G'morning roomie"
> A little while passes, I'm driving.
> Silence.
> She suddenly yells out "Why don't you say goodmorning?!"
> "B.. but I did.. I always do"
> "You do? I've never heard that..."
> "I thought you didn't want to say goodmorning"
> mfw I've been saying goodmorning to her every morning for months

What country do you live in?

why do you pick her up

Probably canada

When I first met her I accidentally said she could drive with me, since she has no car..
She reluctantly pays a little for gas. Even more reluctantly when another co-worker joined the ride.

Also it's kind of expected that people with cars help people without, for a small fee

You sound like a fag trying so hard to act like you don't know about this stuff and exaggerating your co worker. Lame.

The only reason I ask is, this guy works with a total shitlord cunt. She's displayed a tendency to be unpredictable and vindictive, as well as simply unbearable to him. And OP has the decency to put himself at risk by allowing her to get into his car with him alone?

I can see it now. OP picks her up one morning, tells her good morning. She huffs to herself in response. They get to work. She drops all of her bags in the lobby, points at OP, and loudly proclaims "user RAPED MEEEEEE! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

Good fucking luck, OP. In America, we would tell that soul shaped hole forgotten by god to ride the fucking bus.

hmm too bad. i hate horror coworkers, it's like doing double the amount of work

Maybe OP lives in Sweden and this horror coworker is black or mudlsime?

It's not even exaggerated. In fact I considered toning it down before posting because it seems so unlikely.
Tbh I slightly exaggerated how she shoved the phone in my face. She was actually standing behind my computer screen, holding the phone up in front of me while furiously tapping and yelling

She's from a country in eastern europoor, but not europoor itself. Her family moved when she was a kid

Just set her on fire jesus CRUST

I still have to sit diagonal to her in a two-people office all day erry day you know. So I bear it by venting when not at work.

I feel for you, she sounds like one of the worst people ever

Yea, I avoid all professional talk with her as much as possible.
Do I have to mention, that I literally handle four times as many complaints as her in the same amount of time? I secretly spy on her stats, because the stats she put on our office white board simply couldn't be true (actual stats are open to everyone in our internal systems)

Just show her the error of her ways and tell her to stop fucking moaning. Also tell her to use a single chair, she has a single ass

Question: Why is she still your room mate? Just get rid of her or atleast attempt to calm her down more than just talking casually to her.

Gotta be honest - sounds like severe mental problems, she may not be inherently stupid, but the mental problems COULD BE fucking with her logic.

She could also just be sexless. Try fucking her mental illness into remission,

If only it was so easy. I already did. Also, every three months some ergotherapist-duo shows up to help with any problems.
All it takes is for one person to say "oh, you sit so nice and erect" for her to beam with pride all day and forget errything she was told before.

Why hasn't she been fired? Hostile work environment.

I hope we will have rotations soon. It doesn't happen often though.
If anything, I think I could be one of the best persons to share office with her, since I'm both calm and assertive in dealing with her.

I've been picked out for training to review other people's cases (professional leader of sorts), joining a team of two others who have done the same for a couple of years. I will refuse to review her cases

I think they give people a very long line in my authority. You must also take into account, that this is her first job since graduating.
Problems are showing a little now, though, as our principal (professional leader whose team I will join) is starting to loose patience with her. He is a brilliant man in his profession and very patient. She argues over every damn thing he says.
I admire his stamina

Is she a fat bitch?

She has quite a nice body. Ass from Heaven. I was never into her though, because she's such a terrible person.
Teeth like a horse, also.

She's all in to the health fad. Not in the educated way, mind you. Se reads shit online and then acts like she found the Holy Grail of health.
I've been a powerlifter for years, so I know my way around workout and nutrition and continually beat her in discussions.
Mostly because it's not difficult to prove that "OMG palm oil will like kill you why the fuck would you eat that?" is not entirely true

get your manager to fire her
she sounds like a fucking cunt

Troll her about food,convince her to do GOMAD

That would be impossible. I have considered going David Thorne on her, but she already accuses me of strange things.

Like the day her client crashed, and she jokingly said "did you turn off my client?" And I was like "hehe no". Then it crashed again and then she asked me seriously if I turned her client off....
"Are you sure", "you didn't do this or?", "OK it's just strange it did it again"
omfg

>try fucking her mental illness inyo remission

Top kek!

i have one
>be working shitty school office job
>coworker has to go on medical leave
>we get a parent volunteer
>fucking space whale of a woman comes into office carrying three buckets of kfc
>one for her the other two are for her hamplanet children
>they each fucking got a bucket
>plants her enormous ass on coworkers chair
>loud snap from chair
>she pretends like nothing happened
>few days pass
>people start complaining about all the chicken bits and grease around front desk area
>decide i cant watch that beast devour another family meal by herself so i leave for lunch
>comeback to find my chair has also been ass raped
>grease stains on muh paperwork
>the smell of kfc and old lady perfume in the air
>ask space whale if she was on my desk
>looks at me straight in the eye and says she never goes into my office
>immediately goes back to checking her facebook and eating
>noticed that a bag of chips i had laying on my desk has gone missing
>bitch is stealing muh snacks
>go back and confront her about the grease stains fucked up chair and my missing chips
>starts rambling about how just bc she fat im blaming her for the missing food and the chair
>tell her we have surveillance
>we don't
>come up with some bs about how i can get the principal to pull up today's recordings
>space whale storms off
>probably to get more food
>next day
>clock in to work notice the smell of kfc is gone and so are her kids
>mfw i never got a new chair

>hamplanet children

Top-fucking-kek

Millenials.

Far from it, b/ro. She's from the mid-80s

>power lifter
Internet slang for a fat guy who gos to the gym a couple times per week but can't be assed to actually diet or maintain a good shape. Yep it all makes sense now op.

Tell her to blast Tren and bulk on pancakes for her de-load cycle.
Lolz.

On second thought don't give her tren. Holy fuck she would be pure unmitigated mental instability with murder-rape dreams.

I totaled over 1200 pounds @ bw 198, 177 cm last fall you jelly ass dad bod

Mid 80s is millenial you mongiloid.

I thought it was people born in the new millenium

198 lbs at 5' 10". HAHAHA, your a fat ass. And your a manlet. Okay now it definitely makes senses. Top kek mate.

No. Next time just use Google, it's literally at your fucking finger tips.

Almost quints

Tell yourself that dad bod.

And how, pray tell, should I think that relevant when I was of a wrong view?

What is this dad bod I keep seeing? Is it like dad rock? Is it a joke about someone being old or something?

Have you tried....

Filing a complaint?

Most intelligent people double check their facts before running off at the mouth. Next time double check even if you think you are right. It stops you from looking like an ass, which you do.

It's the "new body type for men" advertised by some feminist blog cunt last year. It's basically an unfit but not fat male body.
The kind of body no woman ever turned her head after, hence some women say they prefer it so their pussy whipped dog at home doesn't get fit an run off with a model

You have too much anger man. Either that or OCD

That is not quite how it works around here. We are a small team of 12 with a boss who is head of office. She is in charge of all daily activities, including hiring/firing. Above her is a head of department and just above her is the CEO. So there is no where to turn to. I can just hope she will be frustrated enough to leave by herself sooner rather than later (I'm pretty confident she will bail eventually)

Interesting. So it's not fit and it's not fat. It's just an average guy? Then how is that a bad remark?

>government job
>CEO
That's not how that works at all. Might be a director or something but not a CEO. CEO only work in the private sector. So either your lying or you don't know what you are talking about.

It is because 1) a fit body is preferred in our culture, 2) the dad bod is advertised by insecure feminazis 3) the wearer of the dad bod lives high on the blog post from last year, now thinking he has some kind of edge over fit guys. He might, for example, try and call a strong, fit man "fat" even though it is clear for all to see, that the two are of same body fat percentage.
That aggression is directly linked to his own low self esteem, low self esteem being unmanly in itself

Or maybe we call it the same in my country and I don't know what it exactly translates to in yours. Oh look! My dictionary said "CEO", "managing director", "business manager", "chief executive officer", "executive director"

Meh, I don't think I get it. If a dude has an average body, he's just average. Can't be bad or good. It's whatever I guess.

While you are here could you also explain the fuck Boi term I see as well?

You know, when you talk so intensively about the male body, I could SWEAR you sound like a faggot.

Oh wait, you do.

Since dad bods secretly wish they were swole, it kinda is bad. Or; if not inherently bad, just not as good. Neither functionally nor in attracting females (some would say that is basically the same)

That joke is old as fuck in the bodybuilding/powerlifting sub-culture.

Starting to get a little butt blasted there cheif. Maybe you should visit a Web page that's made for your language then instead of coming to one that isn't. Then you wouldn't have these problems.

There really isn't a problem, you're just here to pick a fight because you are bored

Doesn't mean it's without merit faggot.

Cant help it. I hate fat manlets who think they "powerlift" , and I especially hate whiney fags who come to Sup Forums to complain like it's their blog. And what do you know, you are everyone of those things.

It is in fact without any merit since it comes all by itself.

Everyone loves a good green text. If you don't, you are welcome to just gtfo and post some bananas in the next ylyl thread

It's not bananas anymore, now it's the toth paste guy. Can't you even get that right?

Nailed it

That would be "toothpaste" you illiterate cunt

Bump for more insufferable coworker stories

kek this is good.

I'm into gardening. By the luck of Gods, so is my boss. Co-workers always ask me about garden related stuff.

> Have a pot of succulents from gov for the office
> Not really interested in those plants
> Only give them coffee to drink
> Tell roomie "let's see what happens to them"
> Plants suffer after a while
> Roomie "really into her plants now"
> "I wanna have some on my balcony"
> She waters her succulents like a normal person would
> Mine are recovering from abuse
> Her one succulent sets a small bunch of flowers
> Ohno.jpg
> "OOOOHHH MY GOOOD would you LOOK at this user?"
> "They are sooo beautiful! Oh I love my flowers"
> Talk about those fucking flowers every day, big fucking smile, carrying that mix-pot around like it was a fucking baby
> "I thought you had a green thumb user"
> "Yours look pretty beat user"
> Well, yes I fed it coffee for two months straight...
> I even gave her a bunch of seeds once,
> Not one planted