I NEED HELP !
I shoved a dildo up my ass but it kept popping out so I shoved it deeper until my ass completely enveloped the dildo and now IT'S STUCK UP IN THERE !! I tried pulling it out for 2 hours but reaching up in there only seems to push it deeper.
I live in a small and town and everybody knows each other. There is no such thing as a secret in this town. I cannot go to the hospital for this. Some people around here already call me a whore
what can I do?
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Maybe suicide?
Try using a fishing hook to get it
Push it out like a turd.
Make web.m
>Profit!
Go to a hospital.
Tell them you fell on it.
Tell them its not yours.
Everyone will believe you.
if you cant poop it out, youre gonna need to go to a hospital. thats all you can do unless youve got a friend willing to shove their hand up your ass and pull it out
Give yourself an enema with lube
...
checked
and I'd rather use the fishhook
PHOTO X-ray NOW !
Well that depends
Pretty sure this is stale pasta, if so end yourself
If not post pics of butthole
exlax lots of exlax
When i see it i will belive it !
>cannot go to the hospital for this.
you will go to the hospital for this, the only choice you need to make is if you are going to do it before you die.
knowing my luck it would pop out with a fart and land on the floor while I am laying in state
Seek medical attention. Doctors are bound by law of confidentiality.
drive all night if you have to and find a hospital where nobody will ever find out
Vacuum cleaner, stick it up there and turn it on.
Use a hoover/vacuum cleaner.
eat a lot I say a LOT of food and drink a lot of water then shit with the force of jesus
TOPKEK
top kek
kill yourself
Step 1. Find the person you hate the most
Step 2. Approach them
Step 3. "You've triggered my ultimate form, prepare yourself fuckboy."
Step 4. Bend over, ass facing enemy, and scream violently as you charge your attack.
Step 5. Shoot the dildo out of your asshole so hard, it penetrates his skull.
Step 6. Marvel as he spends his last moments getting skullfucked by your deadly dildobeam.
show us a picture of your asshole
Use a plunger
WHAT THE FUCK
Bastard beat me to it
Wet/dry shop vac ftw
>shit covered dildobeam
plenty of horny anal sluts of your city on dl.dropboxusercontent.com
Poop it out
You would need an instrument to prop your destroyed turd cutter open whilst you tried to either grab it with forceps, something with teeth that can get on both sides of your rectum ravager of choice.
use a toilet plunger
...
stop posting this shit
Become a Bernie Sanders fan. You'll be such a huge asshole it'll just fall out.
you don't have any friends that will dig it out for you?
>shit with the force of Jesus
>fucking lost it
Remember - if you find that weird you're a bigot.
nice. I'd help you get it out
NO, can anyone on this board get it out?
Go the hospital you stupid bitch.
checked
how can you get it out?
hospital or death
Long nozzled vacuum cleaner up there, see if it cant grip the dildo. Keep the power button close by, don't want prolapse yourself by mistake now...
Just shit it out for Fucks sake. Once you relax and your sphincter returns to normal it will just push out. Also pics or you're a sad little man pretending to be a sad little girl.
maybe give yourself an enema with vegetable oil, it might slide right out
This is what you need OP
MAKE A LEVATIVE
1. Shave you nasty ho.
2. Timestamp
I have some long pliers that I use for fishing. you can get way down the fish's throat to get a hook out, I'm sure I could grab onto the dildo with them. They're very slim so there wouldn't be very much discomfort
just forget about it for an hour, let yourself relax, and shit it out (don't push hard, let it slide out on its own)
:ER (in another town)
Its too far in now. Theyll have to remove your spine to get to it now.
All this couldve been avoided if only you weren't such a fagot and went to the ER.
Protip: Put a second one deep enough to disappear too. Your boddy will believe you have to crap and your bowel muscle will do the work.
Have you tried squatting?
He's lying OP, it takes at least four for this to work.
You need to go to a hospital, if that shit cuts your lower intestine you're fucked
holy shit you have a bigger problem. Your testicles are cut in half!!!!!!!!
It depends of your body, for me two is enough. If you don't own two dildos, use a soda can
op, go to burger king and eat 5 whoppers with large fries. that shit will run right through you and push the dildo out in about an hour
...
Go to a hospital, pretty sure most doctors have had similar cases and are used to it
Just gonna leave this here...
Y'know, just in case somebody wanted an examle.
moar
The world is a strange and confusing place...
...
where u at op? i'll help u get it out, but i'ma have to put something in there to replace it afterwards
but for real, i will help you get it out without doing any serious damage, and I will try to stick my dick in there once it's out
Timestamp maybe if you eat some laxative would help
...
>go to next town over
>go to hospital
simple really
>Makes wookie sounds
your colon sucked it up. go to the hospital
...
Top kek. Fucking win. U sir deserve all the shekels
kek
timestamp
i think you earned some GBP's
NOW I AM DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO HOSPITAL
>Pop out with a fart
Kek
i had the same problem with a table tennis ball.
use deep heat as lubricant and see if that isn't enough to make it just slide out. It has to be Deep Heat, because other things you can use as a lubricant may damage your rectum
STORY NOW user
jump rope
Stop same fagging your shitty post you faggot. Its not even that funny.
shove more dildos up there until they all come out your mouth
I would suck that shit straight out of your ass. No joke.
Pics with timestamp and OOPS written on belly or it didn't happen.
Alternate option, post dox and face pic so a nearby user can rescue you.
taco bell is the answer you are looking for my dear...
best advice NA
checked and where do you live?
This user gets it
Welcome to Sup Forums, newfriend.
I work in an ER and we have had this happen more times then you would think. Most of the time the people lie and say they have abdominal pain or some other stupid shit. Just be honest with the ER doc and tell him you cannot get it out. S/he will stick there finger in there and not be able to get it out. You will be sent to general surgery where they have the proper equipment to remove the item. Yes, the nursing staff and doc will laugh behind your back, but if you need help then you shouldn't worry about it. They will mostly be concerned that you could have perforated your bowel, which can be life threatening if left untreated. I suggest that next time use your dildo in your vagina, and buy a dildo with testicles for your anus. Good luck on your adventure, it will probably be long and hard.
OP listen to dubs.
After all, what other options do you have?
I'm going to try putting super glue on the end of a pole, push it on dildo till it sticks, let it dry and then pull it all out
Fucking lost
If you don't want to go to the hospital, it's fine. You'll just poop it out unless it has a wide, flared based.