Aight brethren please halp? So I got a drug test coming in about a week or so- and I'm dirty. Pic related...

Aight brethren please halp? So I got a drug test coming in about a week or so- and I'm dirty. Pic related. Anybody know how to get clean for a UA? For a job too, so it won't be as hard.. I'll dump with stoner girls

>buy someone's urine
>???
>Profit

There you go

Yeah. Have cool friends that aren't stoners, make them piss in a dasani bottle for you, take bottle, pour it in piss cup. (It should be in your pocket when you go in or taped to your leg. If they ask just say your cock is big and goes down your leg.)

Lots of cranberry juice and water.

>Tell your nan to pee on a small container.
>Put pee in bag.
>Put bag in pussy.
>Go to doc. Open bag.
>Slap doc with bag.
Test negative

most places measure the temperature of the sample. Your leg isn't going to keep it warm enough.

retards who have never actually taken a piss test before
you have little to no chance of sneaking a fucking bottle in the room unless youre wearing parachute pants and its strapped to your fucking leg, retards

Yeah, I think that's the route I'm gonna go with. Does anybody know how long piss will last if I decide to freeze it? Thawing process? And how the fuck to keep it close to body temp for the window they give me? Details would be bad ass... Thanks for the help brothers.. More stoner ass

How about staying off of it if you know you have a UA coming up?
>but dat meanz i hasta go a few dayz wit out muh dopez hurka durka
tl;dr suck it up buttercup

Thinking of wearing a jock strap with small bottle of piss and hand warmers wrapped around it- may take the bottle to the lab in a thermos with hot water- hopefully that works- any other suggestions? Not sure how long piss can last tho is my only delema? And is it really that hard to sneak in? Heard they just tell you to empty your pockets-

Even with time and sweat water ect- I wouldn't be clean in time for how much I smoke- I'm also about 225- fat cell storage shit or whatev

More stoned chicks for bump

Here's my recommendation OP, you should fill bag with someone's piss, drink that piss on the day of your test, or shove bag up your ass to keep it warm. As the test begins take piss bag out of your ass or mouth and shit all over the bathroom, wipe your shit all over the walls and get your results.

maybe don't do drugs you piece of shit

have fun paying actual money for some dude's piss, you low life.

Hah, titties for you my friend

>thread
I smoke on occasion, but I never smoke if I know I have a chnace of an upcoming drug test. It's not that hard.

I know

Fuck watcha heard pleighboi.
Dr. Greens Agent X.
Worked for me.

idk, drink a lot of pineapple juice?
where Im from, they will literally look at your dick while pissing.. so good luck with using someone elses piss.

Hah, I looked into one of these- fuck yea. Seems legit from the reviews I read but does it still look like piss? Heard it doesn't produce bubbles? Idk, apperently techs will know off the bat

...

tape bag to your body, if they don't watch you, your golden

Buy some clean piss and do an oil change

Here's what you do OP: Get a clean sample of urine in a clear plastic bottle, freeze it overnight, 3 hours before the test, leave the bottle in the sun right up until you leave, then, on your way to the test, drive off of a bridge for being a degenerate loser

Make sure the urine comes from the same gender and they're not pregnant. Stay clean till then too. Weed don't stay for long

Buy upass from a gas station and use it. Comes with hand warmers and fake piss included

Looked pretty pissy to me. My urine isn't carbonated, so I don't see how bubbles would alert a piss master that it's fake.

You could man up and own what you did by taking whatever consequences may come from a bad test.

Who am I kidding, stoners and responsibility are like oil and water.

Thnx dudes, think I'm going with the sneaking piss route.. I'll google some shit- more ass for y'all's trouble