Gf wants me to cook dinner. I've been cooking for the past 3 years. I'm sick of her shit. Role reversal time...

Gf wants me to cook dinner. I've been cooking for the past 3 years. I'm sick of her shit. Role reversal time. What do I add in tomato soup.
>Must be common kitchen ingredient
>No poison
>No bodily fluids
Get creative

1 cup of salt

ice cream

>get creative
>no bodily fluids or poison

Yeah okay

Vodka

Is that a camping stove?

A note that says 'I don't want to cook anymore'. Also, nail clippings.

whole bottle of tabasco, or hotter if you've got it, then some cornstarch to thicken it up and some other ingredients, make it as hot and thick as you possibly can then use it as pasta sauce. the thickness will help hold that heat on her tongue longer and take even more milk to wash it down, assuming she's not retarded, if she is, offer her water or soda when it gets too hot, make it worse XD

Oregano

Take a pic of you having sex with her best friend in it

All of your toothpaste

toothpasta

Haribo sugar free vodka gummies

mivehind

This

add love

Done and done ;)

>No bodily fluids
can't you read

A handfull of salt and black pepper

sprinkle in a good pinch of sugar and grind in a little black pepper. Tear 2 bay leaves into a few pieces and throw them into the pan. Stir to mix everything together, put the lid on the pan and let the tomatoes stew over a low heat for 10 minutes until they shrink down in the pan and their juices flow nicely

She's a hardcore vegan so I added sausage, gummy bears somewhere under, vodka and currently looking for salt.

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Cooking for 3 years and doesn't have salt to hand.

Da fuck nigga.

don't forget to put in that toothpaste

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A lot of pepper

Adding salt

Make pube chili.

Have ya told her seriously you don't want to cook all the time any more and suggested a role reversal or is this something you just thought up and maybe just passive aggressively told her you don't want to cook anymore? If you said something like ugh I hate cooking without sitting down and talking about how you feel you've cooked the past 3 years and are sick and tired of it you're a little bitch and deserve to cook for your gf and are doing a scumbag thing.

pubic hair (does not necessarily have to be yours)

also timestamp or sage

he said no bodily fluids

Eggshells

Are you retarded

Shit, straight up shit. That's a solid not a fluid.

Exlax dubs to cornfirm

soy sauce

>Must be common kitchen ingredient
Read, user, read

OP, if you have ground cumin, throw about 1/4 cup in that sonofabitch

Seriously

add a sandwhich. cover it with cereal

Timestamp

break a glass, use the pieces to spice up the sauce

this breaks none of your rules.

Bitches live their cumin fresh and plentyfull.

Finger a hooker, clean fingers off in soup afterwords.

cloves too

Tumeric and Raw Natural Honey, fresh garlic cloves, and basil.

uhhh, common items in your kitchen? Or did you not read the criteria

Basil, thyme, and butter

Shit is common as it is processed food

Ohhhoho, his guy knows what's good

The fuck are you cooking on?
How fucking poor are you?

Dubs bitch

Kill yourself, you fucking idiot

Technically our sink is in the kitchen. So we brush there.

looks like a portable gas stove

Since she is vegan go crazy with that meat stuff. Also add mustard and milk to get a funny color

you are retarded

Alright, nice OP is flexible

Any word on the cumin and cloves?

That's bc it is. She's a hardcore tree hugger. We must save electricity. Also it runs on natural gases.

Add Mouthwash too

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shit contains some nutrients that the body didn't manage to absorb.

if she loves trees so much go ahead and add some. Leaves will do the job bonus points for bark!

Hold up. I'm on that. Can't seem to find garlic. But because it's a kitchen ingredient. I'll go get some from the backyard garden.

Doesn't mean she wont get dysentery

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dont forget the leaves and bork on your way back!

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Looks like food to me

>not putting in a handful of dirt.
It has nutrients for plants why not humans?
Also none vegan chocolate or milk

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What the fuck mate

Do you even have any sort of dominance or saying in your own household ?

Kek

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>laxatives
>so many laxatives

some bugs from the garden would add extra flavour

OP is not a faggot

Trips have spoken

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I complies. She gave the best sucks. Now she's an ass. She's been cheating and I know it.

Shh were helping op get a grip right now

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Revenge is sweetest in the long term.
>continue to cook for her as normal
>add sugar and fat to everything
>gradually increase the amount over time
>she will start gaining weight and become visibly fatter
>convince her that you love her that way so she doesn't try to lose weight
>continue the fattening until no man would want her
>dump the cunt
>tell her you never loved her and no one ever will now
>she will die of heart failure
>have a laugh and forget her
>find a new gf
>live a happy and healthy life together

overused meme, summerfag

I was just dodging the mother death thing.

Too late man the toothpaste is in

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thats a long term commitmend to fuck over a vegan tree hugging bitch. Just dump her and share nudes on Sup Forums

dude why

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On a scale from France to Germany
How much of a cuck are you? , fucking seriously dump her ass and escape that shitty life of yours with a vegan goddamn son, she's restricting fucking everything from you.

I've added Tabasco and garlic. I even added the garlic peels. Soup is darker now, because of Tabasco

probably germany

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kek, what does it smell like?

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yum yum

Oi oi oi let op finish dinner first