It's my birthday b. dubs chooses the reason im calling sick into work today

it's my birthday b. dubs chooses the reason im calling sick into work today.

>my mother died in her sleep last night

I have a cold.

Its that time of the month...

>all because i didn't reply to this post

Kek this

Trips and you quit your job and go on a week long binge drinking spree.

"i quit"

i finally get laid today

Tell your boss you got your cock stuck in the toaster while you were making breakfast

Choked on some nigger dick last night. Must talk in raspy voice. Check um

out catching pokemon

An asteroid is going to hit Seth today, I'm going to go live what little life we all have left

Shit, almost

Reroll

Got AIDS

Chopped my finger off while cooking pasta bolognese

Shit almost there!
Reroll

Hey boss?
Its my birthday today , im at my parents celebrating, im calling off today
You are correct, i am drunk. Ciao

Hey,
I fucked my cat,
user

Dubs get

Grieving the loss of your mother cause you didn't reply to a post. End the call with 'if you don't reply your mother will die in her sleep tonight'

This is honestly the only suitable choice.

already been said faggot

Beacuse you're a nigger and you smell bad.

Because I have been raped

"I have aids"

I have fapped too hard

I got raped

I broke my penis

I have been assraped by a horse

I'm feeling like a cuck

I have cancer

Ate too much ass

A glass broke inside my anus

>not going into work on ur birthday

mines this sunday and im still going. my boss was estatic

My asshole burns like fire

I have butthole cancer

I got ran over by a truck

I'm feeling depressed and need some lovin'

It's my cats birthday

Reroll

I'm in love with the manager and cant stop farting around him.

"I'm not coming in today because it's my birthday"

Fucking winner

Because I'm about to cuck your wife, p.s. meet me after 8. *wink*

Winrar

Winrar

record conversation OP

I gotta kill Muslims. Won't be in today.

Hello boss? Yeah I'm not gonna make it in today,
Yeah I shit my pants
Yup callin in shitty

What's the dealarino with the BBC?

Moron. Calling in sick on your birthday is the most obvious reason. You know, there's this thing called vacation?

no for shitty slave wage job