feels thread/greentext
>meet this yung homie in pre school, age 4
>get along marvelously for 10 years
>homie starts to act out. does weird/agressive shit. stick by him
>start smoking weed. weed becomes more important to homie than OP
>OP losing parental figure/family member to cancer. shits rough
>homie not supportive at all. distances from OP because i dont smoke weed anymore, alone while family member dies
continued...
im drunk and idk why i posted my greentext in this godawful format
> my family member dies. homie doesn't really care, so distant at this point he's got no clue how fucking depressed i am
> family member dies June 2011. all summer '11, i just work and play skyrim, depressed as fuck
> go on a few dates in summer. unfulfilling. reconnect with old female friend, J
> really liking J
> school starts. alienate all former friends, only talking to J/working
go on, similar thing happened to me
> really into J. J really into me. at this point, kissless virginbetanewfag
> homie has had a thing for J since middle school in 2007. like an unhealthy obession.
> start dating J. immediately ask homie if its okay, as if we're still friends/i even care about what he thinks.
> homie says go for it
> date J for 3 years. homie clearly not impressed with me, but he is also an unemployed/drug dealer/depressed piece of shit, so who knows why his mood is why it is
> break up with J. she was clingy and controlling
continued
Not really feels but it bothers me
>Be me 19 yo
>Been trying to get a girl for years
>Go to countryside for the summer
>Only young girl who's there is 13
>Cute but has strict parent
>Turns out she likes me through obvious signs
>Can't do anything about it
id smash her harder than a jackhammer
>immediately after terminating things with J, i try reconnecting with all the people i distanced myself because of depression/J
>try to reconnect with an old friend, tiffany, who i was basically in love with in highschool and at the time worked with homie
>at this point bridges are burnt. she doesnt care about my sob story. she tells homie that i contacted her
>homie says "so i hear you intend to reconnect with me.. why am i hearing it from other people and not you?"
>break down, tell him i miss him as a homie, we need to hang out soon
And then?!?
>night that homie calls me and asks why he's heard i want to be friends again but not from me, J contacts me. at this point we have been broken up a week, things are raw/painful
>"so, i just wanted to tell you as a friend.. i went out to the club tonight, homie was hitting on me and telling me you've been talking to tiffany because you're still in love with her"
>furious. delete homies number, FB, ps3 id etc.
> go to 3rd year university alone. no J, no friends because J and I were clingy
>super depressed for a few weeks. find out my roommates in my house are literally the perfect friends i could ask for
> never talk to them about J or homie
>still subconsciously depressed even though i'm having the time of my life. develop drinking habit
retard why make 10 posts you can easily do that in just a couple
ur just bumping ur gay thread unsuspiciously
>so from september to december, i am in a student house in toronto, drinking H E A V I L Y
>go back home for xmas break. get into coworker from summer at a party
>from january until april, have thing going on with C, the old coworker. she has a boyfriend in hometown, so on my end i dont take it too seriously
>summer rolls around. lease is up in toronto, move back home (mom kicked me out of the house thanksgiving day, so i am juggling between my dad in a town 30 mins away and my moms)
continued
>greentext break
oh man honestly i'm sorry. im so trash at telling stories i cannot help myself. also don't greentext often, never had a long one, so i dont know when it's appropriate to break them up
np user much love hope everything will be alright
You're a faggot.
You are too please kill yourself.
I love you op. Take your time. I know it's hard doing stuff hu?
Look at me guys im telling ppl to kill themself xDDDDDDDDDDD im so cool dude my parents love me they like it that im 28 and still live in my room and never go outside im typing this as the fans are hitting my sweaty armpits and make the entire room stink because im disgusting i dont work i dont do anything i cant evgen shower im so cool guys LOOK AT ME XD
anyways
>don't like living at mothers, dad's is too far away for my work.
>C moves out from her boyfriends and is living on her own/with a roommate
>basically start living with her since there is no alternative. at this point i am still drinking heavily, she knows my old frienship with homie, she is actually ex-friends with J
>at the end of summer 2015, drunk off my gord and message homie on FB. ask how hes doing, if he has ps4 since i have one but no friends on it
>boom. we reconnect as if nothing happens. though he wronged me, for some reason as a person i am incapable of holding a grudge. literally so apathetic i cannot care about something for more than a few months in a row
timeline check: broke up with J july 2014. fallout with homie august 2014. reconnect over FB august 2015.
>likely the issue of me being with.fucking/associated with J to homie is long blown over, so he is receptive to being friends again
continued
You can's rely on people, especially someone that has shown themselves to be un loyal or untrustworthy, you are putting way to much effort and emotions into this guys, who you have clearly grown apart from. You need to learn that you are in life alone, and its up to you to handle things, because in the end of the day everything is in your own head, people cant read your mind, and they have their own problems, and they are in there own mind. Family is the one exception and you should look to them for guidance. aside from that, understand that you are in control of your own life, and at any point you could of moved on but chose to cling to something that only brought you down. maybe you found comfort in it, who knows
>kinda continue to keep in somewhat contact with homie. ever since grade 9 or so, when he was heavily smoking weed, he has been terrible with communication. like, autistic at communication basically.
>december 2015. come back home for a week and a half since school has winter break, but i'm paying for my lease so i'd rather be in toronto
>hang out with homie. was weird seeing him after a few year of being non-communicato/ not seeing him for years
>message him in january about a ps4 sale on witcher 3: is it any good? worth the money?
>one word reply
>attempt various forms of communication over the months. "listen to this atmosphere song" "aesop rock just relased a new album, should listen to it!" "are you going to get the CoD4 remaster?". list goes on. read receipt for all of these messages, never a reply. doesnt surprise me
continued
okay here is where it gets contemporary/serious
i meant to say can't
trust me, i will explain my beliefs at the end of the green text, to be honest ever since about 2013 this cunt hasn't actually "gotten" to me, i pity him and its hard for me to be offended/put down/ insulted by this turd
SO
>dont go to hometown often. its about $60-80 to round trip megabus, i dont have the money and neither divorced parents want to pay my way, so i am in toronto vast majority of the time
>go back home in June. it was recently my birthday, quit stressful work, dad was in toronto and drove me back home
>first day i am back, at dads house (30 min drive on highway from hometown) and get like, a medial burn from head to toe. redder than a fucking lobster and everything hurts and cant sleep.
>dad drives me to hometown a day later
>can't do anything. send snapchats of me being in hometown, but cannot do anything besides lay on couch. not going out. not eating. not sleeping. so much paint.
>homie sees my snapchats of being in hometown, tries to call me over FB messenger. didnt answer any of the calls because i was so debilitated i knew i couldnt hang out, also i find talking on the phone extremely uncomfortable, he knows this.
>been in hometown, on my moms couch, for like 3-4 days. pain wears off and i can actually walk/do things. go out with my friend scott
>he is kinda nerdy. his friends are even more nerdy. we go to a pub/tavern that does trivia, but they all have plans the next day, scott included, so i think, hey, ill message homie and see if he wants to hang out tonight after everyone goes their seperate ways
Yes but he clearly has his own problems, and you have tried but he isn't willing to be helped, and when someone is in a depressed state, alot of the times they isolate themselves, and just don't feel like people geniuenly want to talk to them. he might think your texts are because you feel empathy for him, he might be so ashamed of himself that he cant work up the courage to talk to people.. or he might just be a selfish dick. whatever the case, there are countless people like this, and if they arnt willing to be helped, you can't help them. My advice is just let it go, move on, don't take it personally. And maybe in time, he will grow up and realise what an idiot he has been, maybe not. But he didn't even have a duty to comfort you, he never signed a piece of paper that said "i will be a good person". let him fuck up everything in his life, while you make your better, that's the best revenge.
okay i realize i've been drinking but this shit has gone on too long. i actually want replies/feels thread so i'll end this shit quickly.
>say to homie on FB messenger "so, im out with scott and i think him and his friends are packing up around 11 pm. want to go out with me later tonight?"
>homie to me "well i wish you had made plans with me or something, i have plans with emily" (idk or care who emily is)
>"okay well its no big deal, either you can hang out or cant, its no big deal if you cant"
>typical apathetic me, but seriously me and this fucker havent been best friends in like 5+ years so i dont care if i see him or not. no sweat off my sack
>homie loses his shit. calls me a "toronto nigger" since i dont plan things (neither me nor homie have ever been planners ever ever)
>i am drunk and unleash my pent up rage. tell him he is a worthless piece of shit, jealous i fucked/dated J at all, let alone for 3 years, wish he had actually killed himself in 2011 instead of dragging me along in his shit for so long, etc. etc.
>next day find, obviously, he has deleted me off everything. FB, ps4, snapchat, etc.
>fucked up thing is, if he apologized, i'd take him back as my homei
end greentext
see honestly i am convinced i am apathetic, in a medical/clinical definition. the PRO to that is that i dont hold any grudges against homie. if he apologized today, i could 100% put it behind me and attempt for the like 4th time to be friends. i dont have some sort of ego that he damages each time he acts like a total cunt, so im always up for repairing the relationship
what a shit story. this isnt feels its just two autistic fuck not knowing how to communincate
jesus that is the most pointless/inane story i've ever read
this was my best friend since 1998 that has continuously pushed me away since 2010 from his jealousy and mental illness, to which i have no one to fall back on. how is that not feelts? have your best friend be a human maggot and then we'll talk
i'm sure you have strong feelings about it i just don't know why you'd think anyone else would care/find it interesting
Seems like you should just move on from these toxic people.....
I just miss her
can't say any of this is about anyone else. i should have just typed this shit up on a notepad file on my PC and forgotten about it by the time i sober up tomorrow, but something is reassuring about knowing other people know about my 5+ year struggle with this asshole. whether or not others emphasize with me, i just want others to know the story, sorry if it was boring.
cant say that ive clung to homie, he lives in hometown and ive lived in toronto for basically 4+ years at this point, but its hard to ignore history. i've never met someone who's had the same interests as me/liked the same music/liked the same movies and tv shows/liked the same video games etc. i've never been able to talk to a male friend the same as this guy and females are so depressingly mentally void that a girl best friend is beyond reality
it's all good dude i didn't find it interesting but it's still better than 99% of shit on Sup Forums anyway
There are 100% other people in the world like you man you just gotta look
Check em. Little victories, huh, OP?
to be honest even i dont think its all that interesting. if old highschool friends ask about me and homie, i just say "ah, idk" or something else dismissive because i'm 100% aware its uninteresting but also a really long, drawn out narrative.
yeah i figure, its just hard to meet people so i dont even know where i'd find the "best friend" that meets my weird requirements of: a stoner that doesnt necessarily have to smoke weed, likes the same media as me, only likes to seldom hang out, interest in weird/occult/conspiracy theory without it being austistic etc.
he is just such a weirdly perfect fit that i doubt i'll find another homie as cool as he