How do I get a girlfriend?

How do I get a girlfriend?

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Stop being a faggot.

/thread

Why do you want one?

Enjoy being single. Best life a man can ever ask for.

Tip: get off Sup Forums.

get off Sup Forums!

Find an Asian. Be white. Don't be a genetic abomination.

Most of the footwork has been done for you. Praise the ancestors.

Start at the bottom.

this

1. die
2. be reborn as Chad
now you don't have to put any effort out, the bitches come to you

are you in shape and attractive?

>Praise the ancestors.
what if my ancestors have fucked me over with mental illness and autism?

Honestly, you don't want one.

You'll date, move in together, get engaged, get married, buy a house, be miserable, have kids, be miserable with kids running around breaking your shit, she'll develop orangutan titties while her snatch smells like malt vinegar, you'll try to score some side ass but get shot down because your married, you'll always be broke, you'll yearn for death to grasp its icy claws on you but be disappointed when you wake up each morning, and you'll get old.

tl;dr keep jacking it, get rich, do what you want

I am attractive but not in shape.

definitely this. I always find myself coming back to this site when my relationships start drawing to an end

tinder

Get in good shape
Get a decent job
Be stable, successful, confident, and attractive

>single guy detected

talk to girls
this, as long as you are still getting laid then single life is best life

you mean you're neither

>attractive
>not in shape

3 out of 6 of these are actually necessary, I am living proof.

There's always chloroform.

...

I could only wish bro. Married with a mortgage and goddamn kids.

I think sometimes of leaving a suicide note, taking off in my POS truck with my cat and moving into the woods like a goddamn mountain man.

which three, faggot?

Stop being a raging faggot for starters.

Set up a trail of semen to a cage and wait to reap the whore rewards

shit joke

This. Only, I love the kids that break shit and have to turn down ass on the side, though I wonder if that's the best move from time to time.

I thought married fellahs got the most pussy. So many homewrecking bitches outcha

Here is an actual advice adice:

>Change your look. If you are fat, start working out and eating healthier. If you look unkempt shave more often and take a shower regulary. Take care of your skin, use skin lotion and cut your fingernails. Wear some nice clothes ( doesn't have to be expensive label clothes)

>Change your personality. Girls hate lame, boring and shy guys. Learn to be funnier, more open and social. Don't be a boring faggot who never talks or says anything funny.
>Don't be annoying neither and don't talk too much of yourself.
>Don't be a white-knight. Girl hate that, too. Be the alpha male, that means you NEVER beg a girl or make too much compliments. Have this ,,i don't need this bitch at all'' mentality.
>Read books or watch videos how to speak to girls.

Take your time OP. Follow these steps, change yourself and then go out and speak to girls.

you really only NEED to be confident
being in good shape/attractive will make it easier
job, stability/success is irreverent

First, you have to become an independent care provider. Then your client's 13-year old daughter has to come over to visit for a while. After three weeks of lustful gazes and sly caresses, you have to say "fuck it", and just fucking kiss her when she greets you in the morning in that sheer black nightie she got from her aunt.

What the fuck am I going to do?

How does one initiate a hook-up?

Hey its nice to meet you I'm user
>hi user im gril
what do you do ... that's so interesting, do you live around here?
>yes
Lets go see your place
...
if she says no then on to the next one

You know within the first 30 seconds whether they are DTF or not

It ain't worth it OP. Every relationship will end because all girls are sluts. They may act nice and lovely in the beginning, but a couple month later they will show their real faces and fuck your heart so much. I still feel like shit because of that one girl who left me and it is almost one year ago.

Try finding bitches for one night or something, but never start an actual relationship.

Unless you are Chad, your advice sounds like a bitter beta...who probably fell for a slut and expected her to remain faithful

You get a girlfriend by being yourself and just going through life

Getting it isn't the problem. A brief timeline of today

>6 a.m.: wake up, eat breakfast, take shit, consider slashing wrists while shaving
>6:30 a.m.: leave for work, pick up coworker, ask if I should drive us over a cliff, decide against it
>7a.m. to 6 p.m.: work, still contemplating suicide,
>6:30 p.m.: home, eat dinner, see that the hellions have destroyed yet another thing,
>up to 10 p.m.: hellions being hellions
>10 ish: go to bed, wife asks if I wanna fool around, see flabby titty flopping out side of night gown and what appears to Don King in her drawers, take a raincheck
>11ish: get up, only time I get alone, hang out with my bros, get drunk

Your fat produces gravity?

Fuck you, user. Fuck you in the fucking neck. That isn't how I get a girlfriend; that's how I go to prison and get myself a nice twink boyfriend named Jamal.

Thats the thing, she was not a slut at all. She was like the most perfect girl ever, never bitched about anything, had my kind of humor, never used make-up and still looked pretty and she always texted me first. She even texted me at work. When i checked my phone she wrote like 10 messages in the last 6 hours about how much she misses me.

Then suddenly she lost all emotions for me with no fucking reason. This is a girls mentality, they act nice in the beginning and fuck you over in the end.

Or... fuck her 3 months, then cut and run.

Lmfao wtf

>job, stability/success is irreverent

I'm assuming you meant irrelevant. I'm not sure how old you are, but as an adult stability is VERY relevant. Unless you're okay with dating some burnout loser chick, but I guess I assumed OP wanted a GOOD girlfriend.

Yea . No way it's that easy

Femanon?

Just Sup Forums yourself is the biggest lie every kindergartener ever heard.

how i got my gfs
1st - online, friend of a friend
2nd - friend of my younger sisters
3rd - afterparty at a concert
4th - online in an mmorpg
5th - another younger friend of my sisters
6th - housemate
7th - university friend

Maybe you treated her too nice. Maybe you should have fucked her shit up every once in a while. I'm not into games but, fuck, it'd probably be fun to humiliate and demean.

This won't work faggot. Only virgins would say that. If you are with a girl for three fucking month you will develop feelings for her and then you are fucked.

>Comeback of the day

>Lower your expectations.
>Talk to 4s and 5s on POF
>Be able to carry on something that resembles a conversation
>Don't go full beta
>Use compliments as rewards, not as a means to maybe get something you want
If none of that works, take the advice of

>Then suddenly she lost all emotions for me with no fucking reason. This is a girls mentality, they act nice in the beginning and fuck you over in the end.

This is life, shit doesn't always work out. Enjoy it while you can and try not to take it too hard when it's over.

if you are decent+ looking and dont give a fuck then it really is. Like i said you know within the first 20-30 seconds if they are dtf or not. maybe add in a "lets have a shot and get out of here"
It isn't hard if you aren't afraid to fail, because you def will fail

Literal cum back

>putting in all that effort to get a girl when you can just become one.

>develop feelings for her
Man you are one of those sentimental niggers, aintcha?

Haven't quite mastered the "girlfriend" part, but picking up a girl isn't as hard as you think.
First, clean yourself up. Put on more or less bright clothes that fit well, get a clean looking hair cut, and shave.
Second, don't be fat. That's just an all around good tip for life.
Third, have a good sense of humor and pay attention to her.
Fourth, and this is important, don't be afraid to make it obvious what you want while remaining respectful. Girls admire confidence, but no girl wants to seen as a slut unless you're already in the bedroom.

Probably. Shit sucks though.

this
/thread

been telling these virgins on here this for months. They think getting a girl is some cosmic event or something. Fuck all that! I can get pussy. My worries are about my financial future. That's what's fucking with my mind at the moment.

You get a gf by being yourself,the right one will come along

>current year
>actually believing this

I'm gonna make a correction to this.
By being yourself, you'll find a girl that likes you for who you are, and that definitely helps when it comes to having a good relationship.
But it's definitely not the way to get girls consistently, and there's no guarantee that the girl who loves you for who you are even exists.

Best solution is to reshape yourself into a better human being so that you can attract girls that are worth having.

Masturbate into an omelette

this only works if you are cool and have something to offer (interesting, good looking, funny, etc). if you were these things you wouldn't be asking. so don't be yourself. find someone who has no trouble with women and be like them. i don't know why guys have some mental block about this. we emulate those better than us in all other aspects of life. we try and improve ourselves by learning from those around us...then when it comes to women, we tout this "be yourself" bullshit. if 'yourself" was good enough you'd have a girlfriend already. suck it up and get better.

I can't agree, user. I'm a piece of shit. I show up to work late, I barely ever leave my house, I smoke too much, and yet she is still attracted to me. Maybe it's just the teenage hormones, but there it is.

I'm cool and have plenty to offer that's how I know this works

better than tinder, plenty of slutty girls of your city on dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/t5dvcdgvh5u7ny0/forchangirlz.html

Then you probably shouldn't be dating/reproducing anyways

So much this. Your freedom, money and time all go down the drain.

Honestly it doesn't seem so bad when you first start because you're young and naïve but eventually the depression sets in when you realize you've given up everything in life for next to nothing in return.

Fuck

Get off your ass and go outside and start talking to real people

Discover who you are as a person and be confident in that.

Be yourself around the right crowd and your worries will be gone

Who would want a girlfriend? Fuck. Don't do it. I just came from her house. Huge fucking argument. FUCK.

stop eating dicks, and get off Sup Forums

>don't be yourself
Lmfao, what the fuck do you think happens when you start a relationship on false pretenses? Probably why so many guys end up with slutty girls who fuck them over in the end...nothing wrong with growing as a person, but don't pretend to be someone you're not.