Can you imagine?

Can you imagine?

Only in the movies...

imagine what?

>tfw 23 year old virgin

Fuck hollywood

yes good goyim
we have condoms to sell

sex is good and harmless! i promise!

>tfw laughed at the idea of being a 40 year old virgin
>tfw more than half way there

>Congratulations Senors!
>Senors!

>le all of Sup Forums is /r9/k meme
Truly EPIC. You can't be old enough to post here AND pretend to be a virgin

Don't forget how much harder it gets after college when women actually develop standards!

I want to believe.

She gets with the friend and they lose their virginity together.

Fuck knows why I've watched this.

>18 Year Old Virgin

Who cares? Some people are late bloomers and there's nothing wrong with that.

Now if she was 23 or 24, holy fuck just end yourself

You are 16 and still a virgin.
C'mon looser, go get some pussy.

The bit where she sucks off the old man and gives him a heart attack is the sort of weird, quasi-sexual nonsense I see in my dreams. Only reason I remembered the film.

yfw you realize that the virgin character is one of the lesbians in the purest blue

22yo virgin detected

You're not a virgin if you had sex with an escort, r-right? The dissonance: Normal people want sex just to have sex, but they virgin shame for being unable to attract someone enough to seal the deal.

I was an 18-year-old virgin. Thankfully I had sex a few months before I turned 19.

...

I lost my virginity two months after turning 19. I almost killed myself. I can't believe there are guys being virgins past 20...

>You're not a virgin if you had sex with an escort, r-right?
If you are a man - still virgin.

>I can't believe there are guys being virgins past 20...
27 level here. Now i can't watch pic related anymore, that feels...

Christ man, my room is starting to look exactly like that.

Did some kind of magical force expel the essence of virginity from your being? Do people really believe in vitalism to this day?

>tfw lost virginity to a dude
>tfw closest sex with a woman was waxplay with his chubby domineering cunt in college and she gave me a handjob

What woman breasts feels like guys, i do not want to fail the test.

>27 level here

What the fuck user, get out there. You missed all of the years when it falls into your lap. It's only gonna get harder every day for the rest of your life so you better change something up. The time is now.

>when it falls into your lap.

Maybe if your name is Chad.

If, however, you're slightly awkward, don't have great looks, and get nervous around women, you're screwed.

I lost my virginity at 17 and had started to feel embarrassed by it. In hindsight I can see I really shouldn't have.

>tfw 25 year old virgin

Not a single fuck is given.

Not that user but I doubt I would've got my Masters if I had a girlfriend or just periodic sex.
I've seen women destroy the ambitions of friends, or take their money, or both.

Why did the guy in 40 year old virgin sell his stuff at the end? I guess it's cool that he finally found someone to spend his life with, but how come he has to sell all his figures and toys and whatever? They're his personal collection he's been gathering for probably all his life.
And the woman even had kids, so he's pretty much getting fucked over from my point of view. 40 year old virgin is more like a horror movie.

For fuck's sake, just go after low hanging fruit, especially emo sluts.

...

What the fuck

>Will I be a virgin after I have sex

Fucking retard go kill yourself fucking retard go faggot fuck retard

You are very vain, I'm 39 and still a virgin, quite happy with my life and how everything is going.

Dated an emo once.

She really was a slut, never even got it in before she was on to the next guy.

Gave up after that.

What? 20's are the hardest time to get laid because every girl you've ever known as a teenager has bloomed into at least a solid 8 and their egos have shot through the roof meaning they will not even give you a chance. Your 30's and onwards are the good times because their looks will fade and they start to get more desperate.

...

>be 21
>talk to girls
>say dumb as fuck trash to them for lulz
>it's what they like to hear
>have multiple 3somes with 2 girls
>fuck multiple women in 1 day business

bonus
>be not particularly attractive

it's not hard senpai

>lying on the internet

How is it being 12?

You forgot:
>look attractive

Probably weren't assertive enough. Most of those girls crave cock, so you need to land it fast before they go after the next one on the carousel.

>never apply myself to try to get laid, ever
>get literally jumped on by a qt at 22
>get begged for the D by drunk fatties at bar

You have to be trying to remain a virgin in this age of Godlessness and depravity.

I feel nothing but disgust at women after I cum, regardless of what tyoe of porn it is, and I'm afraid I'd beat the girl to death once I orgasm. In my mind, she'd be a worthless whore for letting me do that to her and I'd get angry

25 year old virgin here.

How the hell do you even have sex?
What happens after she says yes to have sex? I don't understand how it could even get there, it's such a foreign concept to me

>wanting to have sex with females whose looks have started to fade
beta cuck detected

Maybe you're gay.

WOW YOU ARE 21 AND NEVER HAD A GF

WOOOW LOOK AT THIS GEEK LOSER NERD ASPERGER
TRUE WIZARD BRAH SUCH SADNESS MUCH FEELS

>tfw going exclusively to hookers because i can't bother with normal bitches
I strongly advise you do the same

22 year old virgin here. Just fuck me up famalam

the early 20s are the easiest age to get laid at, anything past 25 is tough as shit because then everyone assumes you're too busy landing a job, already having a gf or both

Yeah okay you go find some 20 year old solid 10's who will have sex with you. Shit ain't easy man.

Lower your standards. Its not that hard to get laid. My friend since we were 6 is now a 27 y/o virgin whose never even held a girls hand, let alone kiss or fuck them. Why? He is like 80 lbs overweight, a stoner, lives with his parents, never worked, and only goes for 9/10 or 10/10 girls and will obsess over them for years and years thinking he has a chance. He has had some cute girls go for him, but they were like 10-20 lbs overweight so he wouldn't even look at them as anything other than a friend. I'm convinced any man over 21 thats a virgin is like this, unless they have some kind of mental disability like autism or crippling anxiety or something.

>Why did the guy in 40 year old virgin sell his stuff at the end?
It wasn't norm at that time. But now, with hipster geek culture and NERDY girls think it is more acceptable.

iktf but I would probably be physically assaulting her even during the process

It's a bit hard being assertive and moving in for the kill when you're nervous as fuck because you've never made it this far before.

But it's cool, I found Sup Forums and from there I've explored just about every fetish known to man.

I can make myself cum like you wouldn't believe, so while my friends bitch about all the drama they have to go through with their girlfriends, I can just lay back and relax.

>tfw 6 years until wizardhood

Can't wait.

>25 year old virgin (have had two blowjobs though)
>collect action figures
>unemployed
>literally no future plans

Exactly like yours just less hairy

What's it like to cum bareback inside a girl you're in love with?

I refuse to believe that people like this exist

The fundamental point of homosexuality is attraction to men, which I'm not
If you hated coke, it would be a baseless conjecture to say you like pepsi.

Ya really. Just go to bars and get drunk on weekends. Even the elephant man would get laid.

>>get begged for the D by drunk fatties at bar
Living the dream.
C'mon user, i have standards.

>virgin
>2 blowjobs

Yeah, do you also think a woman is a virgin if she's only had anal sex a hundred times?
Fucking normies I swear to christ

>hahaha o-ofc not...

28yo here. i just fucked once and it was awful. fucking hell because i have an insane libido and crazy fantasies and i'm far from ugly. i'm just damaged like Joker i guess. well, to each his own. fuck this life

I don't know, sounds kind of gay to me.

Level 23 Here.

I know how to seal the deal and all, last girl I met I revealed my power level to and ditched me faster than anything.

I just like waiting until I find one of those nice ones I like and all, never too bothered with rushing anything of being
on of those people who have a new gf every other month.

I look back now on all the missed times I messed up and it's making the move. Very few people know you have to kiss her in the right moment. I thought making the move was asking her out when its kissing her or asking if she would mind to be kissed.

Basically whenever I got the kiss me look I froze up and thought how stupid she wants me to act out a movie scene when
in fact lads the movies act out life.

Hope this helps, just kiss her men.

fag

Give me one reason why I should date a used goods roastie

I do not have gyno and have muscular chest m8.

end yourself man

Ass and vagina count but mouth doesn't.

The blowjobs were great though. The first girl swallowed the cum and everything. She was a solid 7/10 (8/10 with effort put in).

>being a virgin means you haven't had a GF

You really haven't dated anyone, have you?

Me too friend

Guys I'm a 3 year old baby genius and I am still a kissless hugless virgin, should I kill myself? All my peers are doing it, and my crush just had a baby of her own

Finding a slut who loves to hang out and do literally any weird sex shit you tell her to is the real dream. I'm living the life, my nigger.

I was raped when i as child. Be glad you are still virgins

>last girl I met I revealed my power level
Never do this user, never. It is only works for girls.

First you need to have the paperwork in order; consent is a big issue nowadays

You'll have to read through (and make sure she reads through) about 10 different documents stating intent, desire and whether or not cumming inside is allowed.

Then you need to make sure each others lawyers are aware of the documentation, and they'll inform either parties parents of what's about to happen.

You'll then wait no more than four days, but at least two, and pick her up for a date.

Remember to have a video camera on at all times, and rape allegations have a habit of spawning even with all the paperwork done.

After about two to three hours of entertaining her, you're allowed to move in for a kiss, and ask if you should "go somewhere more private".

Once you arrive at the designated coupling area, you need to make sure that your bull is in good condition and working order.
Prepping him is a good idea, as you need to make sure that he inseminates her before you do.
It's generally a good idea to rim your bull as well, while he's going at it, to ensure he stays erect while doing his job.

After he's done, you're allowed to play with the leftovers, if she still consents.

Then you clean her up, and drop her off back at her parents house.

How did none of you get laid in high school? You fucking missed the easiest time in your life to get pussy!

i've tried to have sex many times but never has my weird floppy dick entered inside pussy. I've no idea how succesful penetration is done. my dick is like curved in wrong angle or something, or I might be secretly disgusted by vagina, maybe even gay.

Good thing is i've had easy time asking chubby girls to facesit me all the night. I've wanked myself off many times like that, with girl on my face. Strangely, even blowjobs didn't feel like anything.

Easier to learn to drive a beater than trying to jump right into a McLaren

If you're able to hold a convo with a girl you're able to get laid. Y'all niggas so thirsty you screw up the talking part.
Not wanting to get laid=ultimate attraction boost

Why does your definition of gay differ from the factual one?
>He gets off to women
>doesn't like men
>hm seems pretty gay to me

Because they know they're worthless cumdumpsters and love it. It's the pure princesses that are entitled cunts.

Sluts make fantastic friends.

What's it like getting a blowjob and cumming in her mouth?

Dating =/= having a girlfriend. You can't really "have a girlfriend" unless you have had sex with her.

I do not want to remember fat ugly body, sorry.

I was a bitch beta in high school.

It still hurts thinking about all the missed chances.

Are you okay

Oh, didn't think it was that elaborate, sounds like too much trouble anyway, thanks for the help but I'll pass

>You can't really "have a girlfriend" unless you have had sex with her.
This x100

I had a girlfriend for 7 months and we never had sex. Find out on her birthday that she was banging 2 other dudes on the side.

>about 10 different documents
Or, you know, get a job and pay a lawyer to shit out a single condensed document and stop wasting time.

>dated

there's your problem user

>be 31 year old virgin
>somehow end up dating a 17 year old
>we lose our virginities together
>she believed I wasn't a virgin
>had sex with her loads of times
>fulfilled most of the fantasies I had although nothing weird
>dump her after about a year and a half
>have casual sex every now and then with random girls

Owning your house is key, I just ask women if they want to come back to my house and then drive them home and it leads to sex.

It helps that most of the girls never see my "office" where I keep my animu statues.

Smart choice, my man.

I hear the japs are creating some pretty nifty sex-bots.

Another 5 years and women will be completely irrelevant.

I know a dude who got off to women as well. He's gay now.