It's the last day of first round darting action in the World Matchplay at the Winter Gardens.
Opening the night it's Lakeside 2006 v Lakeside 1996 as Dutch nonce Jelle Klaasen plays the ultra sex-machine Steve Beaton. Paedo Suarez has had a career resurgence in recent months, his defeat of the Philth at the Worlds the highest point of his rise. The Bronzed Adonis, however, is still managing to float around the mid-20s in the Order of Merit despite always going down faster than your mum on his cock in the first round of majors.
Four-time Lakeside and 2007 World champ Raymond van Barneveld then takes to the stage against imploding (or should that be exploding?) Northern Irish jobber Brendan Dolan. For a man who could always average between 90 and 99, even this is now becoming impossible for the finger-twirling dullard who should be defeated by Barney with ease (assuming he doesn't have an insulin breakdown partway through the match).
Then, it's the Matchplay dominator: Phil Taylor. In what will be no surprise to anyone whatsoever, the Stoke sexpest has one of the easier ties in the draw with Liverpudlian drug runner Robbie Green his first opponent to vanquish the haunting memories of >38-1. Kong only got into the Matchplay for the first time since 2004 in the last possible event, eliminating transsexual Rowby-John Rodriguez in the process.
Closing the first round is a match with only one desired winner. Aussie Simon Whitlock has managed to compose himself recently through the help of optical (and not alcohol ones for once) glasses that has seen him clamber near the top 16. In his way is Michael Smith, who we last saw on TV being an utter embarrassment in the PL and being a fat headshaking mess. Here's hoping that happens again tonight.
All matches must be won by 2 clear legs, with up to 5 extra legs played to decide a winner. If the match is tied after 5 extra legs, a final sudden death leg will be played.
Coverage starts from 7:00pm UK time on Sky Sports 2.
>Tonight’s matches (Best of 19 legs) Jelle "Yewtree" Klaasen v Steve "PHWOARRRRRRRRRR" Beaton Barney v Brendan "Ulster Dud-Namite" Dolan Taylel v Robbie "King Bong" Green Michael "Snackpot 2.0" Smith v STRAYA
Steves throw looks so awesome. Even when he scores 24.
Jose Hughes
Round one featuring two former BDO world champs, cant be that common
Isaac Bell
Smooth af indeed
Jonathan Fisher
>jello
Mason Sanders
Klaasen in comparison looks like he's doing shot put. Also: Nice break. Please go on, Steve.
Levi Price
>those flashing teeth ???
Carter Robinson
Dutch Sex Pest played Stoke Sex Pest in the first round of the Masters this year.
Plus it'll become more common with all the switchers.
Unless you're Wolfie, Shitty Dog or t'Yorkshire Carpenter
Angel Adams
Is he taunting MVG?
He should know it will trigger the autism
Connor Sullivan
Is Beaton the true silver fox?
Austin Scott
Based Adonis
Ethan Collins
>2nd Adonis break
Caleb Davis
FUCK YOU OLD MAN
Wyatt Turner
Don't think he's smart enough for that. He gets destroyed every time he plays MVG. And MVG doesn't even want to shake hands.
I wouldn't as well if I knew that hand was in my niece once when she was underage and is mentally disabled.
Angel Sullivan
STEVE!
Charles Richardson
LGTSS >nonces
Oliver Sullivan
>Alan Norris has made more PDC Worlds quarter-finals in one attempt than Steve Beaton has in 15
Logan Miller
>9
Ethan Kelly
NO JELLE 9 IS TOO YOUNG DAMNIT
Jonathan Bailey
...
Daniel Lee
>Jellel
John Bailey
Sounds like the anouncer says Stevey instead of Steve Beaton.
Noah Martin
Is klaasen no longer called the matador because its not PC to taunt and slowly gore to death a helpless animal?
Joshua Miller
You're no Mensur, Jelle.
Juan Allen
>6-4 FUCK YES ADONIS
Michael Garcia
>it's the cursed D14
Mensur Magic
Gabriel Jackson
They were probably afraid jenkins would hit him in the heart and he died.
Austin Robinson
>its not PC to taunt and slowly gore to death a helpless anima Yes. Helpless retard girls are okay, though. Unfortunately, "The Fiddler" was already taken.
Eli Davis
>its not PC to taunt and slowly gore to death a helpless animal? [insert joke about players in phil taylor's pocket here]
Landon Wilson
Breaking news from the practice room, it's very boring over there atm.
Levi Parker
BASED ADONIS
Angel Robinson
>le leave awkward doubles and never hit them man
Aiden Powell
Leave D14 to Mensur, Jelle.
Jackson Torres
The curse of Mensur in effect!
Caleb Stewart
Relax michael your not even playing tonight
Gabriel Mitchell
>going for the mensur finish again >get your ass handed to you again
When will they learn.
Jace Campbell
>mensur finish
Mensurfags are just the worst
Landon Flores
>we want dolan now, we want dolan now
Ethan Perry
It seems that this is his "niece"
(awkward attempt at a foreign language pun)
Josiah Lee
>not going ALL BULL after hitting the inner with the first dart poor show, steve
Julian Anderson
DAT 82
Noah Ortiz
We really have to get that sand out of your vagina. I know a caravan where they do it for free.
Angel Walker
Don't screw it now, Steve!
Levi Anderson
>58 left >go for 14
Eli Reed
>throwing at 14
Wut
Elijah Clark
GWAN STEVE
Christopher Watson
>9-6 Good job, Steve!
kek'd
Aw, come on. Almost everyone is.
Jordan Young
LGTSS >perverts
Benjamin Cox
Klaasen is broken and just chucking now.
Evan Wilson
unfair ffs
Cameron Martinez
After going for t17 he must have thought he was finishing 91 because thats the route t17 tops. He therefore thought he had 74 left so t14 is the shot. But yea he fucked up.
Colton Hill
A D O N I S
Parker Gray
Where would he get 91 in his head though? He hit bull after being on 125.
Aiden Gonzalez
I think UK has a gambling problem.
Gavin King
>18 Mate, that's way too old for Jelle.
Ethan Walker
T17-D12, surely?
Unless he was trying to hit T14 to leave D8.
John Reyes
Its only a problem if you're losing
Alexander Brooks
At least the childrapper is out. Now just the caravanrapper and the wifebetter to go.
Jaxon Thompson
91 in the head because he went for t17 and he forgot what he was on before he went for it
Gavin Hernandez
>Adonis wins Well, this was a really pleasant surprise. I have to admit that I haven't been expecting this. I really hope this sets the tone for the rest of the matches.
Charles Reed
>dat drinking music
Benjamin Long
NO NEVER NO MORE
Nolan Hughes
>dolan will never retire in your lifetime
Carson Robinson
>that barney wink Rare to see him in the full orange too.
