Make me proud fags

Make me proud fags

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I love you

It's good to finally see you from up close.

you smell different in your sleep

i like Sup Forums

"JESUS!" (glancing at cellphone). "I can't even go on a date without my fucking baby mama calling me and whining about she can't even afford diapers--FUCK THAT CUNT!"

Came here to say this. Nice dubs.

Taxation is theft.

I'm definitely not going to rape you.

"I never use condoms"

women tend to perform significantly lower in areas such sports, academia, and art, even though they happen to be in higher numbers in each of these domains.

"Oh, baby girl, by the way, the doctor says that thing on the tip of my dick is like non-infectious, OK?"

I have to take a shit brb

"Are you a feminist? I can stand them, i'm an MRA, m'lady"

"I'm really gay, you know, but my frat brothers said I really need to find out what I'm missing"

I like MLP

I changed the tickets for the horror film instead of the rom-com. Can you pay for me an I'll pay you back after my welfare clears. Have you heard of vore? I have a micro penis.

We need to cut over a couple blocks, my parole conditions don't allow me to be near an elementary school.

mom and dad will never know

"You're picking up the tab tonite; I was just laid off"

What's the hardest thing about microwaving a baby?

My dick

"Why don't you have a seat over there?"

say fuck me

Anything other than: I'll pay for dinner.

I can't believe this restaurant has no hat stand. Where am I going to put my fedora.

Mind if I vape?

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

I'm 30 and I'm still a virgin

I'm with her

You don't sweat much for a fat girl

Do you have a rape whistle? I have trouble achieving orgasm if I don't hear one...

"Women should know their place, just like the Koran states"

...

My life revolves aaround your eyes, you're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. Whenever I think about you my heart stops beating, breathing gets harder and harder. I'd die in your arms, I'd give my life for you. I don't want to live a single day without you, you're my life.

"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again"

>I live in the south
Is that not just assumed?

/thread

...

my knife says im getting laid tonight

What do you call those useless bits of flesh around a pussy?

A woman

i post on Sup Forums quite regularly

Don't talk about politics or religion. For the love of fuck.

I'm not paying.

"I know where that missing girl is, the one everyone is looking for. I know where a whole BUNCH of missing girls are."

Do you have a feminine benis?

I respect your virginity; I'll only do your ass

...

What team are you on?

Do you by any chance have a daughter?

Do you have a girlfriend, because I'd really, really love to see that shit

Does this restaurant accept bit coins?

Do those shoes come in women's sizes?

I use arch linux.

I usually am crying when I cum; it's not that I'm sentimental, it's the pepper spray.

Allah ackbar

Can you give me a ride home? My long board is in the shop.

I haven't been with a woman since I got my penis shot off in the war.

...

Do you have any oxycodon: I've run out

I browse ifunny

"My twin brother and I do EVERYTHING together. That's why I've brought him along (motions to far side of restaurant)"

"I hope you don't mind anal the first time we have sex, I find vaginas repulsive"

I OP with images from ifunny.

You look like my mom.

Do you like fruit, love? Suck me cock, it's a peach.

"Yeah, I bought the sportscar with all the money I made from Gay4Pay porn"

Beta uprising nao!
REEEEEEEEEEE!

The old switcheroo. She'll never know.

Do you like chicken?

Well, suck my cock, it's fowl.

We should file separate tax returns after we get married

I usually only fuck 10s, but it's late and I guess you'll have to do.

I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think Depeche Mode is a sweet band!

>polchan.net

So before I spend any money I need to ask you something. You on the rag this week?

since when here's like 9fag or resh¡t?

You know, one day I'm going to be famous....

When they find the heads in my fridge.

You look Muslim...Do you still have your Clitoris?

If you don't sleep with me, your mother will die in her sleep tonight

Zip zap bibbity bop down da chute

Why do women have legs?

Have you ever seen the trail a snail makes?

Before we go any further--are you SURE you're a grille, I mean you have a mustache...

3 inches here, you?

haha

variation:

How big is your penis?

Viz bro? One more:

You like jewellery love? Suck me cock, it's a gem.

I've never dated anyone trans

australian cockney

it's all apples

Yep, Sid the sexist

I want you pregnant.

I wrote a Breaking Bad erotic fan fiction. You'll find a copy under your menu. Please read the part of Jessie. I will be Mike.

I hope your chocolate starfish is as pretty as your eyes.

according to facebook, you had some real fun last weekend

wanna go make a baby?

Tits oot for the lads

*not say anything*

You've cleaned your plate; I'm impressed

You gonna eat that?

You on a diet?

Maybe you shouldn't get anything for dessert....

Im a vegan

You on birth control?

Don't worry, my mom can pick us up.

"I like a girl with a relaxed attitude about her appearance"

youtube.com/watch?v=hosPAi09gDc

Are they gonna be able to fix that? (pointing to her face)