Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

I saw the teaser for the new star trek on CBS and the ship was so cgi it made me throw up 10 times. Seen better cgi on fan made vids..

My balls hurt...

Never mind, it's all fine now. Must have been Joe Pesci.

Niggers, Help pls.

Not sure I can help you with that.

Okay...

>

Correct reply:
> I'm a doctor, not a nervous cop.

I have a crack in my rear. It puts out this rancid matter that stinks. Sometimes some sort of nerve gas that smells bad too. Do I have SuperAIDS?

Caught an alien STD eh? I know that feeling.

rub some dirt on it. youll be fine, i'm not a Doctor but I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night.

>you now realize the EMH program is based on the Johnny Cab program

...

The dreams are back doctor

Would you please repeat the destination?

It's time for my daily prostate exam.

What dreams, ensign?

I'll take it from here, Doctor.

The ones where you fuck me in the ass with your giant sub-routine.
Doctor...
I need you

Doctor! I a just had a vision of the past.
There was a Ship that looked like a Dorito!
People where screaming and crying!
It was terrible!

What in gods name.....

Sorry, I only have eyes for Seven.

What is a "dorito?"

Lmao I'm watching Voyager right now

i have candy growing on my face

Ah, Captain Janeway. What brings you to the sickbay?

B-but doctor, I've seen how you look at me during the routine checkups.
Come on doctor, you know you want me

a dorito is a chip from the 21st century

got to brush up on your history doc

HEY, YOU HAVE CANDY COMING OUT OF YOUR FACE!

I am drunk, to much romulan ale, headache ass fuck, help me doctor, and I believe the thing I peed was blood, bloody romulans and their resiliant bodies.

Who the hell let you back on line, we are low on power and what the hell is Seven doing?!

He said, "no," Lieutenant.

DEAR GOD NO doc help shes gana kill me

Oh, Tom. Glad you're here. Are we still up for some Gravity Ball later?

Thanks for the promotion Seven, I guess I'll be on my way then

Sorry Captain, I must have left him on.

get that promotion than well talk
or maybe ill get demoted and take it from you again

>promotion
I mispoke. I....I'm imperfect!

I forgot how to drink holocaust semen

Please help

Th-that's not cool, Tom.

You what, now?

Mr. Paris, Do you want the brig again?
Reminds of your gardening on earth?
Or the sorry stick?

My dick is stuck in Kes

HELP ME

I thought we got rid of you....

why am i getting slack for this ?

captain your the one who keeps picking me over him for the promotions

You and I both wanted this, Neelix.

you tried

i have been inside the transporter buffer
and my dick isn't stuck in a 3 year old so i would say you have a position open as cook

My kid?! where is she...I was hurt when the- oh what the fuck is this!

a dose of reality orta unstick it

is your kid the one trying to eat the candy faces woman?

>What do we always say at the Academy?
>"If it won't die the normal way, just put it in the airlock."
>Why didn't I listen?

Capt. you should take a look at this.

yes that did the trick

Shit, okay. Chakotay, my Ready Room. NOW.

this is outrageous
i have a right to exist

ah fuck it sence when do you care about the prime directive

she was after this thing called "candy monster" Then..Then this...Beast....captain permission to kill..this..half and half

Since always. Now, come with me to Deck 15. We can discuss that...'position' you were talking about.

Don't worry crewman, I'm taking care of it.

Even i could not come up with this bullshit. Its a abomination. fire is too good for it.

I jacked off and I only came 3 drops of semen

Perhaps I can help you with that. Tom and I have been practicing a few new techniques I found in the Klingon Kama Sutra.

You now all belong to Chaotica. Unleash the death ray!

>Computer, end program.

I don't know who you are trying to call for assistance, but it won't save you this time Captain Proton! Prepare to meet your doom!

heya guiseee im tha p3ngu1n of d00m1111!!!!
wuts g0ing 0n in h3r3? randummm

Oh no, the program's become sentient! Paris to the Bridge! We have a security emergency!

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