Tell me about the time your mom caught you beating off

tell me about the time your mom caught you beating off

Never

I've always beat off when everyone's asleep or not home

Sure is summer in here

She walked in while I had my head phones on, grabbed me from behind, firmly, and finished me off. We never spoke of it again

I've been beating it for 10 years and have never gotten caught. Not that hard to just wait until they're asleep or put a lock on your door.

>be 15
>visiting grandma's with mom
>they walking her dog
>alone time
>pull out laptop
>laying on floor browsing for porn
>jerking it
>hear front door open
>Ohshit.jpg
>scrambling to pull up pants
>scramble and close the porn
>mom comes into room
>was on floor with pants only half on
>figured it out obviously
>threatened to ground me but didn't

I was churning the butter about a month ago. Live in the basement and don't have a door because it was taken off while moving furniture and was just too lazy to put it back on. No one ever comes down here so I always just whack away. Mom randomly comes in as I'm jacking under my sheet to some girls on my snapchat. I grab my boner and press it against my stomach. Mom is socially awkward so instead of flinching and panicking or acknowledging the fact of what I was doing she just "ignores" the fact that I was cleaning my flute and that there's an obvious lump under the cover from where I'm pressing my wood down she just asks whatever the hell it was she wanted and went on her way. Was embarrassing as fuck but said oh well and finished up and played some vidya.

>tell me about the time your mom caught you beating off

Let's call it "caught" not caught

> be 15 & ungodly horny
> also have BAD oedipus complex
> come up with a plan
> 1. Let mom "catch" me beating off
> 2. She'll get so horny seeing me that she'll take my V-card
> 3. ???
> 4. Profit
> made sense at the time as catching her masturbating would've sent me through the roof and maybe left me raping her . . I had found her vibrator
> lay on bed naked fapping knowing that she'll be in to announce dinner anytime
> she opens the door, starts to say something, sees me, says "Oh!", closes door and leaves
> she acts weird around me for a couple weeks

We never spoke of it.

protip: what turns you on won't always turn women on
protip: almost all boys fap to their moms, but almost no women flick to their sons

My mom ran out on us when I was little. My dad raised us and had to work so much to support us he didn't have time to find another woman. We were all beating off non stop and we all knew it and no one cared.

holy kek

Never got caught but me and my friend used to race to see who could cum fastest and show our cum to prove it. We used to watch the scene from American pie over and over while we beat it.

Should have gave each other the succ.

I have never defiled myself at the thought of my own mother you fucking freak.

Did you get turned on at all?

...

I caught my mom having sex on the back porch, does that count

10 ago, at age 15, i had to show my mom the straight porn on my phone because she never found any in my room and she started directly questioning my sexuality.

But, caught? Nope.

Me and my mom used to watch porn together and I jerked off under a blanket right next to her.

>Me and my mom used to watch porn together and I jerked off under a blanket right next to her.

How the fuck did it come to that (no pun intended).

Never been caught, somehow. Never took any precautions and have nosey af parents. I guess I'm lucky. I'm 22

>almost all boys fap to their moms

Speak for yourself weirdo

>almost all boys fap to their moms

Uhh... no user, you're a freak.

Walked into my room without knocking when I was beating it, semi-hard, and all I could think of was how she must've been judging my size to be less than it normally is.

Never caught once nor have I ever been caught watching porn. Always did it in the bathroom, shower or if no one was home and always cleaned up. Now with smart phones, take into the bathroom, go on xvideos, toss off while taking a shit.
What a time to be alive.

Ever seen that awkward informative video from the 70's where the mom walks in on her son fapping under the covers and tells him its ok while he gives her that look and there is a weird guitar playing? Never happened to me.

>be 21
>living in mom's basement
>watching some bdsm shit drunk
>mom walks in
>trying to close the god damn video while putting my dick back in my pants
>fumble everytime
>asked me for some dumb shit and then went away
She never spoke to me about that kek

This needs to be archieved. Someone please.. my sides. Lol

Well I was in HS in that time..when I got home usually is nobody in the house until 5..but i guess my mom for our early round 4 ish...and I was watchin porn on th Pc in the living room..when I heard her open the main door of the house I turn around real quick pull my pants up and act like nothing happen but I think my mom saw a lil bit but I guess she didn't mind

are you me?

>mom caught you

No. but roommates twice. And I was probably getting off on diaper porn. Both acted weird around me after...

...

My mom never caught me beating off. She just beat me.

how did you let a woman beat you

same

>Be 14
>Fapping constantly
>Masturbate by humping sheets
>Don't clean it up because I can just sleep in it
>Red sheets
>Fucking red sheets
>Jizz bleaches the sheets and carries the dye into the white mattress pad
>Mom sees red stains on mattress
>Mom assumes I'm jacking it until I bleed
>Sends dad to talk to me
>Skips the birds & bees speech goes straight to safe S&M
>never been exposed to S&M
>mfw I have no idea what the hell he's talking about

What else are you supposed to do? Run away?

If you fight back you'll go to jail.

Hell, even if you do nothing and just take it, they can still call the cops and just say you were being scary and threatening. And you will go to jail.

Any time there is a domestic dispute, the male is assumed at fault and arrested. It's the law. No matter if the guy has bruises and a black eye and the woman has not a scratch.

what the fuck is wrong with u ?

what? ahahaha

kek that thumbnail

good stuff user

this is the single most retarded thing i've ever read on Sup Forums

never been caught by my mother.
though, i did get caught by my now wife's mother before we got married.
that's something, i guess.

It's fucking true, if you'd ever lived with a woman you'd know. Keep to things you're familiar with, nigger.

...

It was a wild ride from start to finish.

once, when i was 12. dad tells me theres no reason to lock my door, so keep it unlocked

>ohno

so i keep the door unlocked, and the same thing that happens in every incest vid happened to me

>masturbating
>mum comes in room with laundry
>but instead of jerkng me off, she tells my family

waste of a good boner

Why are you such a massive faggot user?

Oh my god i have not laughed this fucking hard in my life!!

I caught my dad fapping once
>be 19 year old college fag
> Come home
> cleaning lady is in the house
> go to the basement to get soda from downstairs fridge
> Dad on couch fapping with its back to me (thank fucking god)
> laptop almost flies off his lap as I startle the shit out of him
> Me: Oh shit, sorry.
> Dad: (trying to be casual) Uh, it's okay.
> grab soda get the fuck out of there
> later on I run errands with him to target
> he buys me two games including Fallout 3
> While I wasn't going to say anything I consider this payment for my silence and we never speak of it again

Turns out I caught him in the basement since he'd usually do that shit in the bedroom but the cleaning lady was there.

I think my stepmom saw me bustin a load but I'm not 100% sure
>lived at shitty apartment with no doors between rooms except my dads room
>i sleep in the living room
>2 doorways that are just covered by curtains
>usually jerk it at night when dad and stepmom are sleeping but feeling particularly horny this day and only my stepmom is home who usually sleeps in pretty late
>just got out of shower so ass naked exceot a towel, make sure curtains are closed
>on couch facing curtain to kitchen but another one is to my right out of view
>periodically check that one but as i get more into it forget to
>after i cum look over and see the curtain is wide open
I didn't hear anything but if she saw she managed to act like nothing happened very well

he's right you know

...

i wish i had parents like yours

>safe S&M
>fapping
how the fuck do you practice bdsm alone kek

>jerking it to some limewire porn in 2005

>start moaning pretty hard because it was Hot.mp3.sex

>next morning, silent table while family ate breakfast

>they knew

fuck them i wouldn't have been in this situation if my dad jerked off instead

Speak for yourself. My mom is a huge turn off, despite being "attractive"

>moaning
are you a grill?

I don't moan I mostly grunt like a true male.

>fuck this i wouldn't be in this situation if my dad jerked off instead

Okay OP
>be me 11
>just got home from school
>run straight to my room
>rip my pants off and start going to town on my nub cock
>feels good
>left door open
>mom walks in
>oh fuck face
>cover my peener
>she walks away
>next day i wake up with plastic case on my peener
>dont get it removed til 14 because to embarrassed to talk to mom about it
>doctor makes mom remove after physical
>mom goes to jail
>your mom will die unless you reply to this post.

Happened twice for me... I started jerking off at an early age before I can even cum.

> Be 8ish
> On Vacation
> In hotel bathroom (was only one)
> Just got back from the beach, was horny for some reason
> Took a dump and got off the toilet, layed on the floor and started 2 beat it
> Mom tells me she needed to get in to shower, didn't care kept beating it
> She opened door, asked me wtf I was doing thought I was shitting
> I quickly got up and pointed into the toilet bowl to show her my log floating there (didn't flush yet kek)

I honed my ninja like reflex skills for inhuman fap detection reaction time. Not to mention my 100% silent fap technique. I could be fapping right behind them and they wouldn't notice.

i guess this is my reply.

that's kinda hot actually

Story 2:

> Once again young
> Maybe 10
> In living room, wide open stroking it
> I was only doing it for like 40 seconds I wasn't trying to climax, just stroking cause bored
> Didn't hear mom walking down hallway until last second
> Walks into living room, my back to her
> I flip off the couch and onto my stomach on the floor with ass out
> All she says is "If you're gonna do that, go in your room with the door closed." Walks off

Was soooo awkward

This

fuck

Lol. M8 I've almost perfected the ninja fap too. After jail and rehab you gotta get cold with it

Test

never because I'm not a fucking idiot

>flip off the couch and onto my stomach on the floor with ass out
>doesnt have an escape plan or explanation already set in place

sfsdfsdfsd

I'm not that guy but I moan like a teenage whore when I cum My voice gets like way higher and stays high and a little husky for a hours after i cum.

Girlfriend caught be jerking it does that count?

k

>stealth fapping in jail
>not asserting your dominance by rubbing one out while standing out in the pod
What are you a fucking faggot?

>almost all boys fap to their moms
Lol no

nigga you gay

hehe XD

Never. I wasn't a careless mook.

Never been caught jacking off in the act but
>be me
>watching porn
>start to choke my pidgey
>suddenly a message appears on screen
>Something a long the lines of: "You were watching illegal content, you are fined $2,000"
>ohfuckohfuck
>me being a dumb fuck call up my mom and dad
>they think I just cut myself
>explain to them that a message appeared on my computer
>dad comes home
>show him the message
>dad asks me questions about what porn I was watching
>jesus christ
>vaguely describe a guy and girl making out even though I was watching way weirder shit (hentai)
>figures out it's just a small virus in order to trick idiots online
>mfw there was a moment in my life where I had to describe what type of porn I watch to my dad

kek

Why would I just be gay because thats how my body responds to organisming.
"bet yes I am"

Was like 14 I think? Mom beat the shit out of me and threatened to kick me out of the house.

fucking cunt

Ground you for beating off at 15 years old?

Great parenting.

called it

im not even psychic faggot

God damn typos

>protip: almost all boys fap to their moms

i sniff my moms dirty panties and have been for years.


i cum so hard to her pussy soaked undies

the ONLY pussy that smelled better was a 12 year olds dirty panties she just took off


something about your mom's cunt makes you cum harder. its like a drug

is she retarded

My step mom. I was 12-13yo and I was trying to let our family bernard mount me. One time I was so horny I tried it when my folks were home. Bernard on my back, stabbing but not hitting the bullseye and me fapping furiously into my sock. I realize someone is coming up the stairs, its my step mom. To this day Im not sure how much she saw, we never spoke of it. All I do know is that the dog got put down a month later :C

Pretty easy to claim someone is gay, you faggot.

Jesus man

you just want to go home user.
take the red pill

cuck

ya got me again

I hate you

>organisming
kek

Fact.

pretty easy to figure it out when there is a clear pattern of faggotry and you're ten of ten on the "how to be a glorious faggot" list.

i want to give my mom a long sensual dicking and kiss her on the lips while looking into her eyes

yep

Wow, how's that silver spoon taste?