That guy who tries to draw a foul all the time

>that guy who tries to draw a foul all the time
>that guy who doesn't track back on defense
>that guy who wears a full uniform
>that guy who calls for the ball to shoot 3s all the time
>that guy who talks trash after making a basket

> that guy that reeks of BO
> the dork with a shooting sleeve
> the former football players that just smash into you
> the guy that tries to fight everyone
> people that don't understand how to run a zone

Fuck I hate pickup basketball

>that guy who scored backwards 1st try
>that guy that tried to pass it form one half to the other and accidentally scored

>that guy who is a bit taller than the rest and dominated the low post with his killer fadeaway
>that guy was me

>That guy who throws a ball through a hoop and calls it sport

>the guy that waited for a rebound bending his knees essentially making him 2 feet shorter

>tfw tell my teamate to get on his knee and tie his shoelace so I could dunk it like this episode
>no one ever did

>that guy who tries to draw a fucking charge all the goddamn time

>that guy who's forced to play as a big man and deal with sweaty fat guys just because he's tall even though all he wants to do is swish mid range js all day erry day

:(

>That guy who actually calls fouls in a pick up game when it's not an obvious whack
>Guys who don't play defense

I have NO idea where this meme of "playing defense in pickup is bad" came from. It's literally half the fucking game. There's no fun scoring on people if they're backed off like a metre and a half in the midrange. Get up on me, make me earn my points ffs. Also blocking shots might be the most satisfying thing to do in a game.

For real. I'm 5'6" (inb4 manlet) and I have taken a liking to swatting people's shot. It's so satisfying.
>tfw only play defense
>tfw broken jumper
>tfw manlet

>people that actually play zone in pickup
Nothing triggers me more...

>tfw roast all of my much more skilled bball mates in around the world/any jumpshooting competition
>tfw panic like a motherfucker when I actually play pick up and start bricking everything
>reduced to a defender/rebounder despite supposedly having a great jumpshot
What is wrong with me

It's all about confidence man. I suck at shooting and will only take 2-3 shots a game. I definitely shoot better if I'm having fun or if someone pisses me off. At least you're doing something else when your shot is off. The same can't be said for others.

Cop or not?

>the guy that passes a lot to make it seem like he's not shit, but he is
THAT WAS ME BARRY, IT WAS ME

What are those!

>that guy that posts you up and bangs his ass into your crotch
>that guy who does slaps your ass on every good play you make, and he's not even on your team
>that guy who bends over uncomfortably long to pick the ball up
>that guy who pins you to the hoop pole and he does a chasedown and whispers into your ear, "not in my house"
>that guy that rubs your calf after you pull it even after you say your fine
>that guy who drags you to the bathroom and gives you a blowjob even though you didn't really want one
>that guy who kisses you on the lips before spitting on your face and saying, "you were horrible, you dirty slut."

wtf i hate pickup ball now

I played a pickup game against a regular saturday crew a while back with my black homie. It was so much fun to play, but in game is a lot different than messing around during warm ups. Drain the 3 all day in practice but cant make 1 in game. Thank god i can play d

>that guy that draws fouls constantly
>that guy that punches in the fucking mouth and kick him in the ribs to prove a point that if he wanted to see a foul he will get one to the fucking face
>that guy that is crying and running away
>that guy thinks I'll let him go after wasting my fucking time so I chase him
>I get in my car and take out my bat , drive to that stupid fucker
>ghost ride and whack his ass on the side of the head watch him lay on the ground motionless
>he never came back

Ben Simmons?

>kuroko no pickup

>the fat guy who only spams 3s
>that guy that calls fouls on every play
>the guy who shows up in a full nba Jersey and shorts with the headband and armband


All me

>that guy who made a sweet 3 on his first try and made everyone think he could play but then proceeds to brick everything afterwards

Me

LOL meta

>murdering a human being over pick-up basketball

I hate the guy that sweats like a motherfucker and whenever he drives you get drenched when you pick him up in the paint. Fuck that. Always the fuck wearing a tank top.

>that 5'7 manlet with no vert who still grabs every rebound

Fuck you Chris how are you able to predict where the ball will go every damn time.

>that one guy who cant play for shit but he does because the teams are uneven
>that one guy who shoots like a 10 year old but scores the most points

> that guy who wraps you up so you won't score when you run past him
> that guy who backs his ass into you until your under the basket, but still doesn't know how to throw the ball off the backboard so he misses a lot
> that guy who would be shut down but just throw it up so he could get his own rebound after the defense flew by
> that guy who got every rebound on both sides of the floor
> that guy who runs into traffic and loses it every time

Last 3 are me

>that guy who beats you and rubs it in but still makes pancakes for your team

>that guy who can't drive in to the hoop on his left side without spilling spaghetti

There is nothing dumber than chasing around some spaz in a man to man. Just run a 2-3 and be done with it.

>There is nothing dumber than chasing around some spaz in a man to man

lazy, no d-playing, fatty detected

>the guy with absolutely no handles who always loses his dribble and is forced to take contested shots
That guy is me.

Fucking left side layups, cant hit em.

>fast as fuck manlet who misses open layups
me

>that guy that motions a free throw before he shoots one
>that guy that checks his shoes after a bad play
>that guy that takes the blame for everything

> shooting free throws in a pick up game