Ok Sup Forums long story short there's something on the deep web i need badly (my life depends on it) and i need to get...

Ok Sup Forums long story short there's something on the deep web i need badly (my life depends on it) and i need to get up to date on how to stay secure and obtain currency on deep web

tell us more or we wont help

Ok explain

years ago i stumbled on a page advertising a serum that was supposed to increase healing and other faculties past normal levels, at the time i didn't need this serum so forgot about it, now i need it

ah so you need drugs

lol wut are you serious

i wouldn't call this a drug it was made by soviets i think

yes ffs im serious, i can't get back to normal without this

you need to consult a psychiatrist not fucking witcher swallow

>can't get back to normal

your reptile form so the mothership can take you back to your planet?

no i was drugged attacked and left for dead, now i rely on pain meds to ease the constant suffering whuch there is apparently no way to cure

jesus, kill yourself nerd.

explain why im crazy and i will explain why im not

but some russian magic serum you saw on the deep web will?

this isn't roleplay im fucking serious you cunt

idk got any better suggestions?

kys

What about not trusting some shady product you once saw for sale on the deep web? Seriously, are you fucking retarded?

i want to live m8 more badly than you or anyone could imagine, there's so much left to do that they left me incapable of

i don't trust anything about it but im desperate

user, how bad your despair might be, try to rationalize how you're literally going after oil snake. Do you think a super healing serum that sounds straight out of a science fiction film would be commercialized on the deep web? Wouldn't whoever developed that thing either sell it for some pharmaceutical corporation to make millions with his discovery or, assuming he wanted to be a good-hearted Samaritan fighting against "big pharma" or in whatever the hell your believe in, wouldn't he instead just publish his research on the internet and reveal his formula to the world?

Whatever pain you're experiencing, the best you can do is letting it heal as time goes on. If it doesn't heal then you're just gonna have to cope with it until it becomes second nature to act around it. Don't go trusting some shady chemical you found on the deep web, it's literally the dumbest idea.

...

good idea tbh

could get it tested in a lab, a friend of mine has access to the right equipment

isnt this the plot of Crank?

Exactly what is your friend gonna test? Unless he is an entire pharmaceutical laboratory with state of the art equipment, you can't just immediately make sure that a substance is or isn't going to harm you with a few test.

Also, how much does this mysterious and totally not shady substance cost? Consider the fact you might be throwing away some hard-earned money to a scam that has its roots in the wild west.

lmao no this my life

the page did claim it would make you infertile and shorten lifespan, but in the mean time i can do what needs to be done

and what is that exactly? If you're planning to kill Trump or something cool like that we might try to help

need to kill the people that did this to me, and fix my body because its broken

he needs to jack off without his ears ringing, you know, important stuff.

so it is the plot of Crank.

Or a mediocre rip-off of Crank.

and Crank was pretty mediocre itself, so in summary, 3/10 was almost interesting but abandon thread

good fuck off