Thinking about joining the military...

Thinking about joining the military. Green text stories of your best and worst times that you only could have gotten by joining the military.

Heck yea boi. Join soon my dude!!!
I leave on September 19th for Parris island for the Marines.
Have you already graduated highschool?

>join navy
>deployed on nuclear sub
>cool brooms
>nothing happened ever
>sweep sweep
>finish 'tour'
>fall on broom at home
>lost an eye
>fuck the navy

Also, are you near the east or west coast?

>get back from deployment
>14 hours powerpoint on things not to do
>dont drink too much
>dont drink and drive
>dont beat your wife
>dont drive too fast
>dont get mad too easily

>be me, love aus join army (our army is like marines for you...not even close to retarded as your army lol)

>at kapookastan playing with mustard gas

>in confined space with all of the boys. Yank old mates mask off infront of me..

>good times

>Oo rah and they wont take you without a diploma or if you have flat feet. 0321!

Hopefully gonna be a 5811, here!

Itt: welfare queens

I have flat feet and they took me, 0311. Then again I joined during the troop surge in 2006. Where you first or second recon?

Yee get it! Id love to join 0327 recon

Is it true you guys ride into combat in kangaroo pouches?

Wanting to join 1st havent served yet

That's only the cav scouts that get to.. We mostly walk in the bush/sleep in pouches

you cant join as recon, also dont say oorah to anyone or they will haze the shit out of you. fairly drunk now. also dont be a fucking MP, they're all pieces of shit

Hell yeah! Is it true you can change your MOS after 2 or 4 years?

Ok

Kek
>Be careful, he is a pro at noscoping in COD

no, its not. the recruiters are all lying lol. theres no time for school and you sure as fuck are stuck with your MOS AT LEAST 4 years, most of the time youre stuck in that career field until you hit 12-16 years (E-6-E7)

18+ years in the Air Force. It was fun back in the day, but now it feels like a day care for adults. Go Army or Marines.

Why not navy? What is so different about the army or marines?

Idk im a civIlian. 0327 is recon right?

I wouldn't want to change, but that is good to know.
>Unless I can squeeze my way into being a 8156 after I hit E-4

no, its 0321

>Be me
>Join the Navy
>One year later, still waiting to ship to boot camp
>Things could be better
>I should ship soon
>They keep promising
>Feel like it's never gonna happen
>Pretty shitty
>I can't keep waiting guys

> "broom" is slang for "penis"

Navy is fine, Air force is relaxed as fuck. Army and marines you get treated like a piece of equipment.. I went marine infantry.. dont regret it but holy shit i wish i had a skate military job like AF and navy motherfuckers did

>Wat
can you pass all the IST's and shit my dude?

I passed everything dude, I'm waiting for my security clearance because the government can't get it's head out of its ass long enough to get it done.

do you have any questions about the marines in particular

That sucks, I don't ship for another month, and all my stuff is cleared and I am good to go.

O ok and 0317 is infantry?

Pretty much past joining the marines just because I keep getting told it is bullshit city

The corps has the least amount of bullshit.
Since they are the smallest force in the US.

Every other person has told me things contrary to that. Why do you say they have the least amount of bullshit? What makes you think that? Explain yourself please.

That, and because they actually get shit done.
The Marines do one thing.
>They win

> Implying that you can or that they'd want you.

Hey guys i have a few questions. I tried to enlist with the marines and i was honest with the recruiter about an illness i have. Crohn's is apparently a no go. So i tried flying under the radar and not tell the army recruiter. Later on after have stuff come up army caught wind of my issue from the marines i guess and told me i couldn't as well. So what can i do?

Less people.
Less legislation to do fucking anything.
Higher physical standards, so the wimps never pass basic.
Strict physical standards for females and males, so the females don't just fucking sit around and do nothing.

Did any of you finish college before enlisting? I'm working towards a bachelors degree (stem) but I've always been interested in joining the Coast guard or navy. What is the duration of one's service? I don't think it would be wise to be out of my field for a long time.

i just got out of the USMC infantry , Rah. but seriously dont join the marine corps its getting pussified now. it doesnt exist anymore its easily the worst branch

At least 8 years for the navy unless you go reserves.
>idk about THE GUARDIANS OF THE COAST.

Pussified?
They just raised the PFT and IST standards... Again.
>As of in a couple of months.

that is not true at all. its the most bullshit because how under funded it is

They still do their job, and they still win.

youre not allowed to haze people anymore, they are letting women in combat MOSs. its under funded. yeah they may have raised the pft standards but that doesnt matter.

Lucky duck, My rate is nuclear, hbu?

>our army is like marines for you...not even close to retarded as your army lol

>Army is retarded

>Meanwhile, the cesspool of toxic leadership that is the Marine Corps...

The USMC is just as retarded as the Army, if not moreso.

the establishment itself sucked, but since i ws infantry i had the opportunity to be with some of the meanest , baddest motherfuckers to ever live. People who have killed the enemy indescriminantly. we are fucking savages to the utmost. the bonds i made when i was in will never die. and all of the places and world i got to see was worth the bullshit. i have some pretty crazy tales

>Blue falcon buddy fucking po po.
>And I'm going into the corps not the navy.
>I was thinking about it though.

>Libertard detected

I don't see USA winning in middle east. Even after billions of dollars have been burn in military equipment.

I fucked a lot of super eager fat bitches

Because the middle east is a fucking lost cause.
>Nuke that sandy desert until its a fucking glass parking lot.

Nah, bro. I just enlisted in the Army. Wouldn't touch the Marine Corps with a ten mile stick. I could do the exact same job in the Army, but deal with better funding, less bullshit, and have better standards of living.

>Same job
Whatever my dude, after enlisting you either love the corps or hate it.

>doc fag
>brigade change of command ceremony
>summer sausage spicy hot outside
>see soldier fall out of formation
>oh shit it's fun time
>run between columns and pull her back
>bitch is out of it
>gotta get dat temp wattup
>core temp is the most accurate temperature, thermometer goes in asshole
>pull down pants
>sweaty tight black ass/10
>insert thermometer into brown eye
>patient definitely felt it
>she says wrong hole
>internally dying
>temp was fine just went with pussy temp
>treated with ice sheets and fluids, patient never made eye contact after that
>still gives me keks

MUHREEEN CORPSE active duty 2621 here, answering any questions anyone has about my field or the corps in general, infantry bros feel free to call me a POG

I went to a the hospital when i was 16 for a suicide attempt. Is there any chance i could get into the army? Im 20 now

Medical Waver

Just got back from OCS 3 weeks ago. PLC Juniors. Fun time. Looking forward to seniors. Kill

should of just lied about it in the first place nigger

nobody likes a booteniuet

This.

Medical Waver

In the AF you can cross train every time your enlistment is up, unless your in a critical career field like i was.. feelsbadman.

the ONLY way would be to lie, if you're honest you'll be 100% DQ

not saying lying is a good idea however that would be your own choice, and honestly the enlisted life would make you an hero anyways

dont listen to this cuck they will not approve a medical waiver for a suicide attempt, the military is cutting back and can chose perfect kids fresh out of high school

>join Marines
>get cancer

no thanks: military takes orders from a obama, trump, or hillary

no thanks: military gets killed for israel, south korea, iraq, afghanistan

no thanks: military produces nothing of value and is welfare queen

please go learn a trade and contribute to the world instead of being a misused and abused security guard that the rest of us have to pay for.

>DQ
i mean would they be able to look into that type of medical record?

You haven't meet new army have you? Join army infantry if you can breath they'll take you. Trust me cuz I met a guy who had PTSD, a guy who was clinically depressed, and a guy with anger issues that was passed through 30th.

The guy with PTSD told us and the drill sergeants that he can see a little girl bring in a house. He was a fireman by the way.

>Join the Air Force
>First assignment Korea
>First week
>Base Exercise
>Sitting at a DFP for 13 hours everyday for a week
>Go to Juicy bar with my supervisor
>Fuck 16 y/o Filipino juicy
>Travel Korea party all the time fuck lots of military sluts
>Next base is in Germany
>Travel europe fuck more sluts in different countries
>get out
>Find 70k year job cause of military service
>Find GF
>Eventually marry
>Have 2 kids
>life is good
>Life seems like the movie ground hog day now
>Shouldn't have gotten out

you obviously have never been to MEPS

what mos do you want to do? anything with a TS clearance dont lie, if it doesnt require a clearance then most the time if you can keep your fucking mouth shut no matter what and not get into trouble/have a mental breakdown youre good to go

Dude I was discharged because I fractured my shin in basic. I've been to MEPS.

dude they would not let you into any service with suicidal history.

Nope. Good thing promotions exist

Dude I'm telling you I've met 3 people who have made suicidal comments all they do is send you to therapy. And once you're "healed" they just recycle you. Idk if it was different for you but that happened with my company

I don't understand how anyone can be proud to serve when all our politicians are either crooked or incompetent. How can you take pleasure in carrying a gun for evildoers and morons?

Then again my 1st Sergeant was a ranger and he just told us that we were pisses and to get over it.

Question for both Army and Marine anons.
I got arrested when I was 16 for a assault class 3 (a misdemeanor) and I'm wondering how that will effect my chances of getting in? I also smoked pot for a year but quit. never got caught for that so there's no record of me doing it. Should I just lie or be truthful about it?

I was army for 6 years, best times was with the few people I could associate with, sharing my last smoke with my AG on a 2 week field exercise, laughing about some fat nasty batch he fucked last week.

The worst, being called back to base from vacation with my new gf two states over, all because we had just finished a week long serial harassment education week, and some fuck head private said "who ordered the hookers!?" 6 whole hours after the last powerpoint. All so I could spend my weekend in the barracks, cleaning every floor wall and, yes, ceiling.

The whole depression was a phase primaraly of being a angry teenager. It all seems fucking silly now

suicide comments in boot is different then hospitalization for a suicide attempt as OP was discussing.

That's funny because AR 40–501 states that he cannot join if he has ever attempted suicide. Back to call of duty faggot.

They'll look at your records bro. Everything is connected to your SSN so be truthful. I have a buddy who was rejected 3xs for having coke in his system

Don't tell them you smoked, this is just the first of many lessons on how to be shady within the military. When I got to my unit I found out about half of the guys over me were into hard drugs.

kek

marine here. i can tell you from experience that killing villages full of civilians is not winning

we bully

hey Sup Forumsro i live near kapooka, is the training hard as fuck? my mate just enlisted and he said its pretty full on 18 hr days and shit

>cutting back
Not true. The Navy just started allowing people to join with neck tattoos. They're in need, and the military always wants people.
>MOS 0311
>Marine 2.5 years

Yea it also states you shouldn't be 260 lbs if you're 6 ins

65

As far as your assault charge you can't hide that. You however have NEVER SMOKED before though. That they don't need to know is right. If it's personal and not on a public record or some shit like that than it never happened

You may be right devil, that being said its not like 2003-2007 when they'd take anyone, a suicide attempt is a no go in the military, you've been to MEPS, ive been to MEPS we both know that they'd laugh in your face.

I guess every literate person that can do arithmetic was not interested.

What the fuck is up with the new tatto policy? I kinda wanted to get one but shit sounds like a hassle and my OSO would be pissed

No, you can still join with those charges, but be honest.
About the pot, don't say shit. They'll try and get you to admit, but theres no way of knowing. Best of luck
>Lcpl
>MOS 0311

True, however, if its not documented, theres no way of knowing. My advice would be to follow what the recruiter says, he wants him to join regardless. I mean, he has a quota.

Check out the NavyTimes website, they have so info on that. I just heard about it from some buddies. But if I had to guess, probably not bigger then your palm as all tattoos go.

And don't fall for the 'moment of truth'. They don't know shit besides what papers they already have on you

i agree with you user, just saying dont try to be honest or youll get DQ'd

from what i hear medical records are hard or even impossible to track down if you dont tell them about them