Hi Sup Forums i desperatly need help. I'm becoming a sick twisted pervert

hi Sup Forums i desperatly need help. I'm becoming a sick twisted pervert.

not to beat around the bush, i am frequently going on chatroulette and jacking off with other guys, showing them pics of my family members (all 18+, i'm not a pedo) and discussing how we'd humiliate and fuck them. i always feel like i'm close to committing suicide when it's over, and i'm pretty sure if i keep going i will. if i got caught i would no doubt run to the nearest building and jump off.

I know for a fact i would never act on this shit. i think i know where it's coming from, i had the usual 'childhood experimental' phase with my older siblings, always them initiating it, and remember feeling disgusted once finding my parents sex toys and porn collection.

i've been trying to do nofap hoping that shit would help ,but i can't get past 1 day without relapsing. this fucking sucks. has anyone else on Sup Forums gotten through anything like this ?

bump for help

O-kay

Pics of family members?

this

...

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bump 4 pic

Why not just jack off to regular good fashion ol' porn?

>all 18+, i'm not a pedo

The fact you even mention that makes me suspect of what your real story is.

what i wrote is the real story. i've never told anyone this before. i mentioned that because usually incest is linked to pedophilia which it isn't in my case

killing yourself is the only solution op

Then just don't mention it. I could say...

>I like going to my son's soccer games. I mean it's not like I have sexual feelings about the little 9yos girls on the team; I just really enjoy seeing the kids play soccer and have a good time.

And 99% of people would find that creepy.

Is it an American thing to fuck or suck off your friends or whatever when your all kids? I have never heard of this in my country.

it's typically a faggot thing. it's good to know that your country isn't aids infested

I need help as well so bummp

I mean, it's nice seeing innocent children play and have fun. Like for a few moments you relate and the world's burden is relieved.
People get it, soccer mom's don't.

Well I always hear these stories on Sup Forums and I just assume most of the users here are americans, I guess fags is the largest population here though.

Go to a therapist m8, those are too deep seated for/b/ to help with anything

>I went through the usual sibling experimentation
>usual
Nigger what, if your parents and community raise kids like niggers and rednecks doesn't make it usual for everyone else

If you're an autistic wizard, I guarantee it won't stop until you're dead

you probably have to much free time and no idea what to do with it.
Get a job?

Yeah I found a girl who was a perve like me,problem solved

>if
Pls user OP can't not be an autistic wizard.

I'm married with 3 kids

earlier today my male boss sucked me off, i was so turned on by it i went on craigslist and met a guy who sucked me off again while i fisted him
what the fuck are you worried about, most people on here are faggots at least in secret if not in public
you would be better off going on craigslist and actually acting on it instead of beating yourself up over it, you will enjoy it, start slow and let a guy give you a hand job then move onto blow jobs then fuck the guys ass
what the fuck are you waiting for?

i don't think i could bare speaking of it to another person.

i meant usual for people who end up sexually fucked up later in life because of it

...

> i had the usual 'childhood experimental' phase with my older siblings,

Er...

Man the third world is a fucked up place

is there no hope for OP?

Don't be so hard on yourself.
Thinking like this is pretty normal. Imagining shit like this and even sharing it through the mask of anonymity online is somewhat natural these days.
If you want to change, first learn to forgive yourself. Beating yourself up will only add to the guilt. Maybe learn to see the humor in it.
If you really want to change, maybe come up with a hobby. Maybe some video games or start writing or maybe night time walks or bike rides.
You can get into anything.
Anyway, I don't think you should feel so guilty. Being sexually 'perverse' means you value society's sexual moral compass. And this compass changes every fifty years or so. It's not a universal rule.
Don't feel guilty, forgive yourself, love yourself.
Nothing is wrong with you.

I'd trade you with my life.

But you will have to cope with thousands of illuminatis that are trying to kill you because you are the President of UAE and supporting Palestine.

Would you do that?

Every day there is a challenge, every day there is someone doing something to get you killed... choose.

My dubs spoke fam, just because we're robots doesn't mean were not people. You're just telling a person who will help you deal with your emotions and bring clarity to your thoughts, of which I'm willing to bet you have neither.
Just see a therapist once or so and I bet youll like him/her.
Guarantee they have handled worse

Serious anwser here.

I also have this fetish with mom son incest , i still don't overcome but i made progress, is less and less appealing with time and i am more happy and less guilt.

I realize the reason of why i have this fetish is in the beggining i hate my mother and I do not I trust her, but in reality part of me (that was not aware) still lover her and want to be loved. This led me to create this depravity of what i really want.

So i start doing the necessary changes.

The first step is to know WHY,

>not referring to yourself as supreme commander
Riparoni

Not going to lie I legit think about kicking the shit out of my ex every other day.

thanks for the advice. i think i'm going to try again with not masturbating and go for a run whenever i get the urge. If that doesn't work i'll hide away my laptop + phone for a month or so. i can't push myself to get external help from anyone else at this point but if it gets any worse i'll try to.

I think you'll be fine and I understand your problem.
Being super stressed out about it will only make it worse, I think. Even if you relapse, it's fine. Keep persevering.