UK Fags...

UK Fags. So basically for the last six or seven months I've been shoplifting basically everything i need to live off food,cleaning shit ect. And putting the money i save doing that into a savings account. i have a kind of system when i go into a store and it hasn't failed me yet. Now i know it won't last forever and yes one day my stupid ass will get caught. But what kind of punishment am i looking at? I don't have any previous convictions.

What's your system?

Not much, depending on the amount you're looking at a fine or community service shit for the first offense.

>Go into the store. almost every time i go in with my girlfriend. We're a normal looking couple. she's in on it and knows what i'm doing.

> We have a charge in the UK for shopping bags now so it's really not unusual to take your own. I take two reusable shopping bags in with me.

> Load up on shopping into a basket. Find a blank spot away from staff.

>Transfer all but two items from basket to bags.

> Go up to the till and pay. Walk out.

> I also make sure these bags are puffed out when i walk into the store so they appear full

A blank spot away from staff is rarely a blank spot away from cctv. I work in retail and you are stealing my livelihood you cheap cunt.

It doesn't come out of your fucking wages does it

Been caught shoplifting before, had a caution. Mind, it depends on how much the item or items you were caught stealing are worth as well.

what the fuck you talking about you fucking retard, tesco are still going to pay your shitty 11k a year salary a year no matter how much stuff gets stolen. Fucking retard. Fuck off. May as well steal shit in the UK we have corrupt politicians claiming £300 a day for doing fuck all or 20+k in expenses a year, hiding all their tory scum assets away in off shore trusts.

cant believe you tried to say that shit about your livelihood, go kill yourself

it's usually around 20-30 pounds worth of stuff

Satanic trips confirm

^ satan wew mad today

This guy has it. i don't steal from small bluishness i make that a rule. Only big chains.i'm sure they won't miss it

Do you work or go to college?

Lol. Nothing will happen you mong.
Prisons are too full.
One punch/one kill dudes are getting suspended sentences.
The very worst you'd get would be like two years, suspended and required to pay costs but you can set up like 50p a week.
It'll be on your records though.

If it's your first time and you admit to it when you are caught then you will most surely get a caution if it is your first offence. I'd be very surprised if you got fined for that amount. However it will be on your record for 3 years.

My wife works in retail and shoplifting directly affects her bonus, so yes, shoplifters are stealing from ordinary working people.

i'm at uni and working part time at the moment. The fee's for my course alone pretty much crippled me. So i'm trying to make up for it really

>from uk
>says 'stupid ass'
Fuck You

Take a picture of yourself for an entire year and you will see yourself, slowly, becoming a FUCKING NIGGER

Sportsdirect detected

About 5 years due to singles. Check these dubs for how to not be a criminal.

if it makes you feel better i said it with a rough cockney accent back in my head. Abit like Danny dyer

Yes it fucking does because we are targetted for our bonus on "shrinkage". >0.5% shrinkage = no bonus you scumbag

You can fuck off and all you sad cunt.

They increase margins to combat shrink. So you're really not stealing from the company.

You're stealing a fraction of a penny out of my fucking pocket.

I'd beat your chav ass if I ever saw you pulling that shit.

My cock is no where near big enough to ever become a nigger. Also i don't carry a firearm.

you guys are being fucked then. Larger stores have "acceptable losses". set amount of revenue set to the side for losses due to theft, but mainly due to destruction. when it comes to food, it's for perishable items because they can't sell them once they expire.

so once again, you're being fucked

You wot fam? Ill shank you bruv

>bonus
>wages
you're just as bad as the fucks claiming tips are part of their wages. it's a perk bonus, you depending on it means you have a shit career and need to leave it.

Quite hard to shank someone when you're knocked unconscious.

What can i say. You settled for a low paying job in retail. I'm trying to get a proper education so i don't end up like you.

Unfortunately many shops will examine their CCTV for an explanation as to their dwindling stock, so OP could theoretically get shafted for multiple counts of theft. A prison sentence is unlikely, but may still be a sentecing option.

Ahh.
Terribly sorry.
You're forgiven.

Plz fam my mandem will have you shook before you can even throw a punch m7

As opposed to someone who has no fucking career except being a criminal, yeah fucking wiseo. Hope you die in a bus crash.

Right. Let's all just take a fucking skip on over to the job store and pick out a better fucking job.

see
acceptable losses is a real corporate action that is also recovered during taxes. stop working where you work if they're docking you.

In london? Yeah right. The bus's here can't even make it up to 20 on a good day

The only thing you're shaking is the roaches from your clothes.

Sorry about that. Your mums gash was fucking infested. Got them all up in my Adidas hoodie

holy shit can't believe I got satanic trips thats fucked up. am I going to die?

Your going to need to cut a goats throat i'm afraid. or yes the devil will literally fuck the life from your body.

stop living in a shit country then.
we actually have a place called job store here, you can skip over there if you want and get another job.

normally they record 7 day no more
if you dont go to the same store twice a week you are golden

just pull the
i am so fucking sorry shit and cry like a baby

So you move all items from the basket to the bags, then you pay for the items in the bags at the till? How exactly do you not pay for them 2 items again?

Smelling of shit bro.

Your 4 striped knockoff Adidas hoodie. That you still had to steal.

Because you're a council house rat.

Yeah. i won't hit the same store all the time. Different stores. Different locations

The items left in the basket i pay for. i'm not going to walk into a store. Lurk for 20 minutes. and walk out without buying anything

>calls other countries shit
>£ valued less than toilet paper, yet slightly softer on the asshole

keep trying

It has 5 stripes actually. It's legit proper adoodus fam. And who needs a house bruv? my home is the streets blud

Slap on the wrist.

I've been caught shopiifting, you get fuck all for it, just pretend like its your first time. They'll take your prints, swab your mouth and thats it. You're on the NDB and if you ever commit another crime again your information is on there.

But literally fuck all will happen. Just make sure you've got 3 or 4 hours spare cause it takes the lazy cunts ages to go through the process.

Cheers for the advice mate

kek

you are legit retarded

>Its okay for me to steal because other people do too

Wow, its like you were born retarded.

Fucking pikeys chav, just cause your gyppo scumbag grandad got a house off the council doesn't mean you're British. You're still gypsy scum stock. Kill yourself and get the FUCK OUT of my gene pool.

>implying I'm British

They've only got that policy in place because the majority of shoplifting is done by staff and it's supposed to encourage them to rat out their workmates.

there are 2 kinds of shoplifters, the ones who've been caught, and the ones who have been lucky so far. Eventually your luck runs out.

Then you've got a record.

exactly this
and dont fucking run
if you run you are a dead man
just accept that you got caught

eh, it's easier if you just buy the cheapest value brand 400g can of something for 12p then cut off the barcode and the next time you go, use the self checkout and scan that one for every 400g premium can you put through. bags the same weight so no problem.

if you want fresh vegetables and food put them through as carrots, which are the cheapest by weight. just select carrots on the screen and pop your expensive dragon fruit shit on the scale. voila, 40p instead of £4

or just stop being a nigger and pay

>swab your mouth

You sure that was a swab they stuck in there?

Yeah I'm aware of the risks. I'm not cocky about the fact I've never been caught. I'm aware it's mainly just luck. When my bank balance goes back to a reasonable amount ill stop. Which isn't to far away actually.

Are you from Scotland? Because I work the cameras at a store and i've seen this happening - after the event.

Well, I'm a big believer that to be wealthy you need to control spending as opposed to chasing a bigger paycheck so shoplifting just might be the answer! :P

Nope not from Scotland.

As someone who makes all their income from shop lifting, I don't give a fuck if I'm stealing from your bonus. That doesn't matter to me. It's a do or die world out there and if you don't do you die. It's your fault for having a shit ass job. If you did your job better I wouldn't be able to steal your bonus, you pathetic CUCKS.

They use a cotton wool bud you fucking fudgepacker, sorry to disappoint you.

Watch that nigger attitude. What will be your defense when you're caught and go to court?

>yo fuk dem! why should i give a sheeeit? Dey aint fam!

The IP i've just forwarded along with his admission to Greater Manchester Police was in the NW of England, not Scotland.

𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝗔𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝗔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝗔𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓

Shoplifting isn't risky. The worst you'll get is community service. But seeing that europe is being taken over by terrorists, I'd say you got 2-3 years before they start cutting off hands.

I'm also not from the north

Not OP btw.

Don't worry, I'm still turned on by the thought of something being forcefully inserted into your mouth.

Did you know there's a fuck load of gay porn involving shoplifters getting caught and then raped in the security office?

I guess there are niggers in the UK.
Thought it was just america.
Same.

Depends on the store and whomever catches you, i've been caught stealing and the kid that caught me just told me i were banned. Didn't even take the goods, just let me walk out.

It's far safer in a supermarket in my opinion, a corner store owner would fucking tackle you and call the police but no one can detain you legally in a supermarket and no one has any real interest in seeing you arrested.

dress like your poor, dont carry exspensive stuff.

when you get caught, state that you were kicked out of your house by your landlord and you have no money or food, and this was a last ditch attempt at feeding yourself, make it nice and soppy and cry and beg for forgiveness tell them how it was stupid of you to do it etc

theyll feel bad for you and they'll just give you a warning, maybe they'll give you some free food if you were super persuasive.

you smart little muffin,you

I am american you ass eater.

lol nigger attitude? I'll play the courts just like I play the bitch ass retail workers. I've been caught multiple times but no one has ever been able to arrest me. If anyone tries to stop me they're getting jawed.

First offense I can get the charges dismissed easy if I complete a shop lifting course. Second offense I just gotta say I'm an addict and complete a drug course.

don't shoplift

just buy and sell

that's what i do

bought myself a whole multipack of heinz baked beans for £2.49

sold them for 10p each

10p x 6 = 60p

made a profit of £1.90

can't wait to tell my dyslexia support group about this scheme

Why do they find it so hard to arrest you? If you are in America then wouldn't they just shoot you?

>dyscalculia

love that book it is bram stokers best

They dont let loss prevention carry guns. The way I see it is that when I'm shoplifting Im just doing my job. When some skinny phaggot tries to grab me and get me into the back room not only is he starting a fight but he's preventing me from doing my job.

Explain it to me again, you aren't that clear.

You walk in to a store, 2 bags.. you get items in a basket and move 2 items in to the bags and pay for the rest and put them in the bags? That still isn't cutting it if so..