Oldfag here...

Oldfag here. I've recently been forced into homelessness and was lookomg for advice on how to survive or generally what to do to alleviate boredom or earn homeless achievements. Pic related: its the sketchy location im charging my phone

Do you have a car or job?

Not atm. the job thing is eminent tho as it takes too long to get a disability check apparently. Luckily I live where its warm out so not having a car doesnt suck that bad

I lived out of a tent a little over a year, but that was in the woods. Roaming around homeless in a populated area is miserable. You got my sympathy.

where did it go wrong

i love you

Get a tent and go look for day work if you can

Good luck, bro.

Best wishes man, find some work and let them know some of the situation. Find someone to let you crash if possible.

Any musical instrument. Get it learn it. It will earn you money and it will get you laid. It will keep you company and it will free you from boredom.

Music. Win.

Why don't you stay at a shelter? You get fed and have a place to sleep.

practicing making traps in the city park. you might get good enough to catch a squirrel dinner!

i hope this homeless experience helps you become stronger and wiser when its all over. good luck

I thought I was invincible and didnt end up acting fast enough to make things work the way I wanted. Also had all my shit stolen
yea I can definitely relate. How was the wilderness?

Do you have anyone that you can talk to? Friends or family that you could potentially stay with for the time being? It'll be extremely tough to get a job whilst being homeless, so if possible try to take shelter until you can find a job.

Look up all the plants in your area that are edible. For example, acorns can be eat. As can the flowers of wisteria. Just the flowers.

This may save your life. Where are you located? Maybe some nice 'user would let you crash

What city?

This. You need a phone for contact. No money means no phone calls. If you stick you won't get hired. Truck stops are good because they have showers in shit.

It was peaceful and I saved alot of money. Show ended when I broke my toe, got a place.
Still not a bad plan if you live in Missoula, theres a busline that goes up near a trailhead for the Rattlesnake wilderness area. From there its only a three mile hike to the wilderness border where its legal to pitch a tent.

Fed? No. Sleep? Only until 6am when they toss you out. Doors open again at 9pm. Or some such nonsense. A homeless shelter isn't what you think it is unless you're an unwed mother.

Don't think showering in shit will help him smell better

Shit that's exactly one of my greatest fears...

If in my area you can crash. If you steal my shit I will shoot you and say you broke in. Post location op

Not a single one of you fucks called out the image name. Fuck you OP and every shit head in this thread.

I am going to be homeless next wednesday. I am supposed to get on disability but its taking forever. I am pretty scared, I have health problems which are episodic and I don't know how well I will do, I don't have any money. I was thinking about just doing some shit and getting sent to jail but that could compromise my SSI eligibility.

Any tips for a soon to be beginner? I know a spot where turkeys nest, I was gonna try to bag one or two with a bow, other that i have no idea what I could do.

If you just took that pic OP, explain the filename.

Timestamp with sticks and leaves

Achievement- rat trap
Move in with a hooker

I was homeless for about 6 months or so, and had to stay in a shelter when winter hit (very cold winters where I lived).

A homeless shelter is literally the LAST place you'd want to go. Dangerous, filthy, loud, and the staff rarely care.

>doing some shit and getting sent to jail

You mean like being homeless?

It takes years but cops will eventually arrest you for vagrancy just to get you into the system/tax you/for petty revenge.

Fake

OP abandoned thread after he got busted by the filename top kek

>Not a single one of you fucks called out the image name. Fuck you OP and every shit head in this thread.

Spotted the summerfuck who never reads the disclaimer at the top of literally every thread.

> The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
> Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

I don't get it what's up with the filename

i meant like smashing a store window or something similar to intentionally go to jail

I ama pretty skilled guitarsmith. Its useful for money and mood for sho'Too many homeless people lol. Dont want to get dragged into that shit

why the file name i searched it on google and nothing?

You dumb fuck

It was lifted from another thread. Fake.

thats why im asking retard

>i meant like smashing a store window or something similar to intentionally go to jail

Why? Food is easy enough to find. You a big fan of white supremacists and anal rape?

this is golden

been moving around socal, santa barbara atm

Jesus Christ, kill yourself

Nigga, you homeless but have smart phone gtfo

What the fuck is that we'rd tendril mound near the outlet post?

Well aware of that. Do you guys just enjoy living in denial then?

Homeless thread is homeless thread.

hi welcome to Sup Forums newfag as you can see, you have just been baited how do you feel?

this

Not to mention a real oldfag would know how to live in the woods.

Don't take advice from another beginner faggot.

You need a backpack, a bike, a knife, blanket, a few changes of clothes and somewhere you can shower. You can make a tiny shampoo bottle last for months if used sparingly.

First things first, you are no longer one of "us". You will be treated like a monster half of the time. So let go of your pride.

Theres a trick to making money homeless.
Be honest. Never tell two different stories, next time you might tell the same person a different story and you might get beat, bullied away from your usual spot.
Don't ask the same person twice if they said no.
Try not to ask for money, instead ask for food.
Always ask for food.

However if you're around a fast food joint that has a dollar menu, ask for change to buy a dollar burger. They will have more reason to give you money.

Always stay on the move and make a routine. Your only goal each day is to stay fed.

Areas in a city to sleep are local parks, empty sewers, behind dumpsters or empty buildings.

Make a sign for yourself and stand on a intersection that has a divider. Dont ever argue with someone who taunts you.

Good luck.

...

Yeah ive been thinking about stoning me some critters and having a nice spit going in a local park

das it mayne

>been moving around socal, santa barbara atm

Lucky.

Stick to SB, the library is sweet. It's just an all around a nice place to be.

San Francisco is a sea of homeless people. You might feel welcome there. Lots of homeless in SB too though. I'll bet you feel right at home.

>hi welcome to Sup Forums newfag as you can see, you have just been baited how do you feel?

Some of us are still homeless.

Soooo ... not great?

...

Funny im homeless as well right now due to a court order though i have a car and job so i sleep in my car

>Never tell two different stories, next time you might tell the same person a different story and you might get beat, bullied away from your usual spot.


This. Just steer clear of serenading bullshit all together. No one wants to hear your life story, it just makes you sound like you need crack rocks. Stick to the simple shit "spare change"?

I'd avoid people interrogating me about my life story.

When people blow off or give you shit off don't get all cranky just let them keep walking. If they start harassing you or some shit a charged cellphone with no service can still call 911.

Been there. Bet you back feels great in the morning.

Get a gym membership so you can shower. They're usually retardedly cheap.

You can make ramen using hot water from gas station coffee machines.

Go talk to churches and organizations like the salvation army.

When trying to get work, don't fucking tell anyone you're homeless.

Rent a mailbox at like the UPS store to have a physical address.

Public libraries and places like mcdonald's for wifi.

Screw panhandling unless you're absolutely desperate and have no other choice. Doing shit like day labor can get you around $100/day which if you play your cards right you can translate into another place to stay.

I'm living it, only I have a car

Does anyone else got some classic images of some clever signs homeless people be flyin'?

Bumpin' with ninjas.

You have a job and a car yet no home? Where are you from? Sounds like the US.

It's called suspension of disbelief. Google it.

Yeah i live in utah..i lived with my mother and sister but long story short i was court orderd to stay away till my next court date august 11th ive been homeless for 3 weeks now though but having a car and job helps alot im not going hungry or anything though sleeping in my car and being away from my PC is no fun whatsoever

this: Although if you really want to hold out for our gov't to hand you money dont get a day job

Good advice, also you can use a regular PO Box. Just put the post office's address followed by #yourbox and it looks like an apartment unless its a really high number.

Why didn't I think of this?

Get your flagging certificate, easy money, road construction season everywhere in the US now, so day labor is looking for it, and it's usually cheap/free/easy as fuck to get.

Walmart parking lot is your best friend for sleeping in most locations.

Where are you OP? I'll give you a job if you're in Texas.

are you fucking shitting him, wtf man he is homeless not a fucking hippie

Yes mate. Great for morale. And you can earn a good few buck fret dressing or restringing other's instruments. Also great for meeting people and making friends. No one hates the bard. Your pt needs one. All the buffs

If you go down to the department of human resources and take a drug test, they will give you work and help you find a place to stay. I think it's across the street from the Gateway above the shelter. If you have to stay outside, there's a good park in Sugarhouse that has a tunnel that keeps cool and nobody will bother you.


I might be able to buy you lunch a couple times this week when I'm in the city.

>sleeping in my car and being away from my PC is no fun whatsoever
So sleeping in car and missing your PC is the worst part of having a court order against you sleeping at home? Do you also miss your Xbox/PS? That must be the hardest part.

I was homeless for six months then I killed myself. Good luck op.

A van is the ultimate in homeless living.

Kek, right at home. I see what you did there?

OK I see Utah. Sorry about that. Would you be willing to work at Walmart? I can get you in no problem. Do you have any felonies?

Voice of experience. I did 6 months living in my vehicle in ND (it was mostly by choice -- came up for the oil boom knowing I would have to). I was lucky in that I got to prepare for it. Shit sucked for a bit, but for the most part it wasn't all that bad. Hardest part was finding a place to park and sleep, but after I started working, I was night shift, so I got to sleep in the day and you couldn't see me in my vehicle, so no one fucked with me.

I kinda regretted moving into an apartment because of the expense, but being able to shower or use the bathroom whenever was a godsend.

Oh, for the love of god don't bathe yourself in public park restrooms. That'll out your ass in no time.

Police are not your friend. Do not do anything to get on their radar. Sure some are helpful and whatnot, but most are definitely not going to be friendly.

>shampoo

Appreciate the advice user, i dont think ill do much begging. There is alot of homeless people here and I dont think i would get anything
I cant get a job, I get really light headed and fall over, have sharp pain in my chest, arms, and legs than they go numb. I see flashing colors and just gets worse the more i try and push myself. I was doing flooring for a while but it got to be too much and I had to quit. 6 months ago I was 165, im 130 right now. I dont want to be a peice of shit on disability for the rest of my life, I dont know what else to do though.

It's time to be a nigger OP

Yea I remember rotating parking spots to avoid attention. Also the piss bottles rolling around on the floor. Good times(not really)

>Kek, right at home. I see what you did there?

Ah shit, it's true though, Santa Barbara is awesome.

Ventura is aiight too ... that is, if you're down with the river bottom kids (see: drugs) ... but even if you're not there's other crews who steer clear of that scene who will look out for you.

Watch out for feddies. I think special forces and the DEA both do urban training in Ventura and I think stalking homeless kids. If you're the paranoid type that shit with freak you the fuck out.

>Research on videos on how to make makeshift homes.
>buy seeds with the remainder of your money.
>research on how to grow food
>research how to filter clean water/produce clean water
>research how to bath in the wild
>research remote locations that can be used to camp without the hand of the law forcing you out.
>garden tools - rocks, sticks, rope... these can be made to make tools.
>research hunting, as you wont be able to later.
>last is researching on location that is money under that table jobs. example, locations that need garden work for change. locations that pick up people for daily labor. etc this is important if you want to rejoin society.


Once you have gone through the steps of living off the grid and have gotten yourself into the motions of doing something for an extended period. your motivation will start to increase after 4-6months. after this you will either want to continue your life style, or rejoin the community. at that time you will have researched how to rejoin through making small money through work(as your motivation from survival will help in making you want to continue to make more money)

once you make enough money you will either want to start with transportation(a bike if you dont have one) then work your way up to a home with a shower so you can increase your odds of getting a job that pays well. doing this will solidify your position.

However you can skip all these steps by finding a job that will support you. however in the mean time researching on survival tips in the wild will help// good luck.

Just posting to say I'm selling my second home and should see a 90k net profit. Carry on.

>I dont want to be a peice of shit on disability for the rest of my life

Could be a lot worse. If you're motivated you won't need the disability once you're employed again. Someone with that kind of condition needs disability as a safety net, there's no shame in that.

donut shops always throw away good shit, scavenge behind a donut shop or any restaurant and you will be eating like a king. steal coins from fountains, catch pigeons and cook them over an open fire. find you a weapon and fight with other bums. make friends with skitzos, ride the bus and piss in the back or take a shit in front of passengers. being homeless doesn't have to suck. I did it for a year when I was 18. shits kind of rad tbh fam

shelters fuckin suck. its like jail. you are constantly watching your ass and it is stressful as fuck.

>I dont know what else to do though.
First things first: get your life in order. Not trying to be a dick, just saying that you should start planning. Things won't go according to plan, but you can adjust fire and adapt.

Talk to friends and family and see if you can score a couch for the time being. Once you're on SSI, you can get over to rent controlled stuff. Hell, go talk to DHS tomorrow and tell them what's going on. They will know what local resources are available at the very least. Same for clergy at local churches.

Outside of that, start thinking about what you can do more permanently. There are a shitton of resources for things like job training and the such. Getting some office type skills could put you into a job that you'll succeed at. Flooring is one of the shittiest jobs out there for people who aren't in good physical shape.

But first thing's first. Secure housing.

> implying $90k is a lot of money to a Californian.

> make peasant general contractors wages for 1 year doing what a general contractor does.

Eh, he really doesn't want to get off of disability.

If for whatever reason he needs it again, it's a nightmare to get back on it. The best thing to do is to find stuff that works with the disability/doesn't fuck up the rating.

Who said I worked on it?
Also not retarded enough to live in California.

Homeless signs?

>Implying general contractors do all the work.
>Not a resident of the six largest economy in the world. (see: peasant)

I must have missed him call me queer. Honestly ive thought about being a minstrel to make people have gratitude for my work.

Who said any work was done to it?
Simply rode the market.
Say hi to a spic for me.

>Say hi to a spic for me.

Say hi to your rich daddy for me.

You fail at assumptions.

DHS only offers foodstamps, for all their other services i have to be on the states care program and to be on that I need to be on SSI.

I dont have any family besides my mother whom is kicking me out because i havent paid rent for the past month or so, friends arent around anymore.

I have a desire some technical colleges, I cant afford it though. If I get the SSI I believe i would automatically qualify for a grant.

As retarded as it sounds, its easier to get on SSI here if you're a junkie as opposed to having actual health problems. There so many drug addicts they pay to get them off the street.

there is alot of abandoned houses around, I'll just have to duke it out with some other fuckhead more than likely.

appreciate the advice though man, surprised i havent been called a faggot yet.