Weirdest/hottest sexual experiences (greentext prefered)

Weirdest/hottest sexual experiences (greentext prefered)

licking my older sisters asshole after she had a volleyball tournament.

weirdest experience by far but it was amazing

care to elaborate

>At GFs family place getting ready to go out
>Go to shower and find GFs super hot 19YO little sisters clothes including hot pink panties and high heels
>Instantly jerk
>Blow HUGE load into sole of white leather high heel
>After shower, in bathroom with GF and the little sister getting ready
>Turns out the sister is wearing those heels that night
>I watch as she put her foot into the heel with my load
>"Oooooh" she pulls her foot out with my cum all down her foot
>She wipes off some of the cum with her hand
>I stand there with my gf looking at her little sister with my cum in her hand and on her foot
>I nearly pass out from arousal and fear
>She assumes its spilt liquid hand soap from the sink (very similar colour/consistency soap)
>She wipes it off her hand, foot and shoe with her hand towel
>Didn't get caught and now my cum is on her towel she washes her face with

ok ive got some friends who think my gf is majorly hot,but she hates them. so one night i decided it would be fun to let them watch without her knowing, so i blindfolded her and tied her up a bit, turned on some loud music and opened the curtains and let them watch through the window

>6 years of age at babysitters house
>babysitter is always in her room never see her
>her twin daughters are left in charge
>sometimes they would take baths with me and have me touch them and they would touch me
>one day one of the twins drags me in a bedroom and locks the door
>strips me naked and tells me to stick it in her
>I have no idea what she means so I put my finger in her nose
>she did not like that and throws me on bed and puts my soft small cock in her mouth
>felt funny but good
>my cute cock is rock hard, I start crying thinking she broke it
>she giggled and sat ontop of me
>she rides me untill I assume she came
>she gets up and gets me dressed
>a day later her sister showed me lesbian porn and had me eat her out, it was fun because she gave a bunch of candy
>14 year old girls are weird

>been seeing ex for sex
>at her apartment in bed waiting for her to finish showing
>see used condom in trash can
>not mine
>pick it up while jacking off
>see cum inside of it
>touch it, think about it
>never so much pre-cum in my life
>ex gets out of shower
>fuck the shit out of her

>visiting sister at college, partly to hang, partly to support her in the tournament
>get drunk with her at friends party
>end up talking about sex
>tell her i have an ass fetish
>she jokily asks me if i like hers and i say yes
>nothing else happens
>2 days later she has the volleyball tournament
>walk back with her to her room
>she takes her shorts off and walks towards the bathroom in this tiny thong
>getting hard by try and hide it
>she notices
>says if i have an ass fetish i should clean hers to save her having a shower
>stick my face in there quicker than the speed of light
>spend a good 20 minutes with my tongue in my sisters sweaty asshole
>feelsgoodman

pic related

for reference, these were the heels the night i jizzed in them

I nearly had sex with a mulatto woman.

Weirdest was my hottest and vice versa.

Guilted my mom into blowing me. Had to go get shot at in Iraq, but at least got a wincest BJ.

Story

> Do ROTC to pay for college
> I get called up for infantry tour in Iraq
> mom is freaked out that I'll get killed
> I'm living at home before my deployment
> Mom is trying to cram as many memories as she can into whatever time we have left.
> Constantly asking "What do you want to do today?" and "Is there anything you've wanted to do?" and "What should we try next?"
> plan forms in my mind: how can I parlay this desire to bond with me before my possible death into my wincestuous fantasies?
> she has no idea I've wanted her since I was 15
> Plan: ask her for a BJ in a way I can play it off for a joke if she freaks out
> Mom: Anything you want to do?
> Suggest BJ
> she doesn't freak out, but isn't thrilled either "I'm not saying no, but we'll have to see."
> Maybe she's known about my crush on her??? ....... I'm freaked out. Did she find my "mom / son" story collection?
> Next day, I'm trying to figure out how to get the BJ
> She fucking asks me if I'm ready
> My heart almost exploded out of my chest... beating faster than at anytime I was shot at in Iraq
> She gives me a mechanical blowjob
> - refuses to take of any of her clothes
> - will NOT look at me
> - I didn't last very long
> - She did NOT swallow
> despite all that..was the best sexual experience I've ever had.

It wasn't like a loving, sensual blowjob.... it was more like a pity thing. She just wanted me to blow my load (not in her mouth!) and be done with it.

Despite all that, it's the most love I've ever felt from a woman.
We laid in bed for an hour talking. Me naked, her still clothed.

I was trying to feel her bum hoping for an actual fuck and she was gently brushing me away.

Nothing sexual ever happened again. She has swatted my hand off her bum pretty hard every time I've tried.

Moar pics? Especially of ass? That's awesome

Mulatto butts!

>I have no idea what she means so I put my finger in her nose

Pasta

I raped my masseuse. She was selling hand-jobs under the guise of tantra.

She couldn't just run to the cops so I fucked her in her ass.

It was for self-improvement (long story), and it worked.

I don't advise that any of you do it, but it worked for me.

see pastebin /66ErjQ9v

Dude no,

I feel like this is your fantasy of what you wish would happen either way you shouldn't guilt anyone into sex, especially your mom bro what the duck man

>what the duck man

Another experience with the same sister..

>On holiday with GFs family
>Sharing a room with GF, her sister and her sisters friend
>In the morning, everyone goes to breakfast, but I'm super hungover so i stay in
>End up jerking it over all these hot girls im sharing a room with, with a few pairs of their panties and bikinis
>Blew my load into my GF's sister's bikini bottoms
>20 minutes later everyone returns and gets ready to go down to the pool
>Get to see my GFs little sister in a bikini with my fresh load in it right up against her pussy

preettyy sure its pasta i swear ive read something incredibly similar if not the same before

>ROTC
>Called up to AD

Okay buddy

I fingered a girl's ass for her first time while wasted at some park with three of her friends watching
also got spontaneous head from a 15 year old while I was showering (I was 17) and I was not expecting it at all

Getting trips on this thread

>got spontaneous head from a 15 year old while I was showering (I was 17) and I was not expecting it at all

Elaborate

Did they ever find out?

The Court Demands Elaboration in this matter.

Nice try.

whos the chick in the pic.

This reeks. REEK get in here... you can have HIS dick

sauce

>be me, 16
>my then gf parents were divorced, she lived with her mom and she was this cute kinda chubby 50's MILF
>we used to hang out at her house after school since her mom was working
>no sex yet, only petting, foreplay, etc
>one day after some beers she gave me a BJ I was in fucking heaven, she had talent at sucking cock
>next day she asked me to "pay" for that BJ, so I went down on her
>she was sitting at the edge of her bed, naked with me kneeling in front of her
>started kissing and licking her feet, going up through her legs, then I started licking slowly her labia (I was a newbie but learned from porn)
>she was moaning in pleasure and holding my head against her pussy
>I was there, eating her pussy like a pro, she was scratching my arms while moaning
>then I felt her stiff and silent, her hands released my head and she was tense but I kept licking her
>she called my name a couple of times then I stopped
>she then told me, her mom got home early and we were so "busy" that she didn't notice that until her mom opened her door
>and my gf's mom obviously saw her naked with me giving her oral sex
>her mom quickly closed the door and went downstairs
>I was scared and had no idea of how to escape since my gf's mom was downstairs
>my gf got dressed and we were thinking on what to say
>then we hear my gf's mom calling us for dinner
>we went downstairs and I ran to the door, but heard my gf's mom saying "user, do you want to dine with us? or maybe you ate something already?" and she fucking laughed
>I mumbled a bad excuse and ran away
>since then my gf's milfish mom always made jokes with me about "eating at her house"

>went on weekend camping with some friends
>only one couple was between us, my bestfriend and her snobbish little gf
>Turns out during camp set-up that I had the biggest tent even though sleeping alone, so they asked me to keep their luggages inside my tent for the night.
> I agreed. Then during the day that little slut pissed me off so much I decided to make her a bad trick.
> I waited for after-dinner, then go in my tent, took off her toothbrush from her purse and dropped a good load on the brush, making sure to make it flow well inside brushes.
> Less than an hour later she claimed for her robes to go the the bathroom and clean herself. I didn't see her using her toothbrush but it was all wet when she returned.
> Made it again the morning later, and that time I noticed my cum smell persisted on the toothbrush even after she used it.
> Still get a hard on sometimes when I think of that annoying slut with my cum in her mouth.

Pic very related.

>I feel like this is your fantasy of what you wish would happen either way you shouldn't guilt anyone into sex, especially your mom bro what the duck man

I won't say she was happy to do it, but it was a very powerful way to say she loved me.

I have no regrets, I doubt that she does.

>preettyy sure its pasta i swear ive read something incredibly similar if not the same before

I have shared the story before. Twas the greatest experience I've ever had.

The adrenaline alone made it the best. . . I now know why people like to fuck on meth-- it simulates the thrill of adrenaline.

>Weirdest was my hottest and vice versa.
>Guilted my mom into blowing me. Had to go get shot at in Iraq, but at least got a wincest BJ.
>Story
>> Do ROTC to pay for college
>> I get called up for infantry tour in Iraq
>> mom is freaked out that I'll get killed
>> I'm living at home before my deployment
>> Mom is trying to cram as many memories as she can into whatever time we have left.
>> Constantly asking "What do you want to do today?" and "Is there anything you've wanted to do?" and "What should we try next?"
>> plan forms in my mind: how can I parlay this desire to bond with me before my possible death into my wincestuous fantasies?
>> she has no idea I've wanted her since I was 15
>> Plan: ask her for a BJ in a way I can play it off for a joke if she freaks out
>> Mom: Anything you want to do?
>> Suggest BJ
>> she doesn't freak out, but isn't thrilled either "I'm not saying no, but we'll have to see."
>> Maybe she's known about my crush on her??? ....... I'm freaked out. Did she find my "mom / son" story collection?
>> Next day, I'm trying to figure out how to get the BJ
>> She fucking asks me if I'm ready
>> My heart almost exploded out of my chest... beating faster than at anytime I was shot at in Iraq
>> She gives me a mechanical blowjob
>> - refuses to take of any of her clothes
>> - will NOT look at me
>> - I didn't last very long
>> - She did NOT swallow
>> despite all that..was the best sexual experience I've ever had.
>It wasn't like a loving, sensual blowjob.... it was more like a pity thing. She just wanted me to blow my
Lmao, you're a autist. That's not how ROTC works liar

I fucked my younger half sister's brother with my older half sister. he's not tech related. we share moms, sis and him share dad

Thats some trailer shit right there

Nope. Ive jizzed alll over the sisters stuff but never been caught. They are the only times Ive actually seen her toughing my cum though.

The sister has walked in on me jerking it though.. I had just enough time to pull up the sheets and close my laptop. She didnt seem to realize because she came and laid on the bed with me. I was completely naked witha huge boner inches below the sheets she was laying on. She was checking out my stomach and shit as well.. Ive never come closer to cheating and trying to fuck my gfs sister

I see a regular escort whenever I go to Amsterdam, which I do a lot, because one of our biggest clients are there.

I do see other escorts there sometimes, and I hit the windows in De Wallen sometimes as well, but this particular girl is something special. She's Romanian, former pornstar, early 30s, long brown hair, amazing ass, super fit, tight body. Fake tits, but eh, the rest of the package makes up for it.

Any rate, had a bunch of amazing sessions with her, but the most memorable was last October. Had her bring a few outfits, and she always brings a few toys and other things she thinks I'll like.

So she gets on outfit #1, a black fishnet body suit with tall stiletto boots and a black leather corset. Starts out with an amazing blowjob. This girl can do it all. Balls deep, tongue out, licking my balls with my cock in her throat, tons of spit, incredible. Came in her mouth, then relaxed for a bit. After that, she gets on top, I'm sitting upright against the backboard, she has her arms around my shoulders and my hands are on her hips. I'm going super deep, she's pulling herself into me, moaning, best sex I've ever had. Cum inside (in a condom).

Round 2. She gets on this little micro bikini, I lie on the bed, she's lying across me, and using a hitachi on her clit while I finger her. She winds up cumming super hard.

Finally, she blows me a bit to get me good and hard, and I fuck her ass in about 5 different positions until I blow in her ass.

Fucking. Incredible. Best night of my life.

Pic is related.

>quotes his entire post

I gave a lap dance to a hot teacher from high school

> Be 21 and massively changed since HS
> Had worked out HARD and OFTEN and different hair
> still super horny for old HS teacher
> Decide to try and fuck her . . . oddly she had her addy in the fucking phone book
> Go to her door in Cowboy type outfit: boots, wranglers, cowboy hat, duster
> She answers door . . still looks good for nearing 40
> Stripper gram for Mindy Anonymous (intentionally misprounounce her name so she won't suspect I know her)
> Her: OK! Who from?
> Me: can't tell you who from.
> Go in do a strip tease and she is getting handsy, especially with my ass.
> I tell her that "more is on the menu" and wink.
> She told me she wasn't interested, but thanks
> I told her it was free for her and she shot me down harder. . . it was NOT going to happen
> OK.... I got dressed have her a peck on the lips and left with a slight grab of her ass.

Had to go fap and fap and fap. . . I'd always crushed on her since HS and had felt so shy that I had to sit in back of the class and avoid her because she had made me so nervous.

I put both my dick and balls in my gfs pussy. Really hard to do.

How much is she?

>be me
>be alpha
>be 17 having moved to different city from where I grew up
>be visiting old beta friend
>mfw he has a 8/10 gril over for a school project
>double Ds
>diamonds.jpg
>activate full Chad mode, flirt with her as hard as I can
>she responds positively to it, getting all touchy and giggling a lot
>feelsgoodman.png
>begin planning on how to go in for the kill
>later that night, hear door open to the bathroom while in shower
>"who the fuck is it?"
>no response
>peek head out through door, jaw instantly drops to floor
>she's standing there completely naked bent over slightly, pushing her massive mammaries together
>boner erupts through the roof with the force of Hiroshima
>she drops to her knees
>?????????
I barely lasted five minutes. oh, and she swallowed. hands down the hottest sexual experience I have ever had happen to me, probably because I had met that girl that day and it was at my friend's house with his entire family at home

She starts at €700 for two hours. I usually get 4 or 5 hours, though. Always worth it.

>ex gf 18th birthday, morning after
>help parents clean up
>exs mum wearing jean shorts and g-string is sitting perfectly on her waist showing from shorts
>g-strings the hottest thing to me, get incredibly horny
>go into exs bedroom, ask for blowjob
>pushes me up against her dresser and get on her knees
>door slightly open
>watch her mum clean with g-string showing while I blew my load in exs mouth
>swallows then helps me and her mum clean

>>be alpha
Stopped reading there

I'll take "things that never happened for 500 please, Alex".

it happened and it was glorious and my only regret is that I didn't save her nudes to post here

Sauce pls?

>this one time I had sex
>with a woman
>in the missionary position
>for the purpose of procreation

Bullshit

same ex

>get back from a night out
>we both pretty drunk
>work out her parents are not home
>summer so its a work night
>once I work out I cant get in I sit at outdoor setting
>watch gf take off panties and walk over to me
>get hard just watching her
>pull down pants and jerk my cock for a couple seconds
>she gets onto of me and sits on my cock
>we fuck until she cums, drunk and just orgasmed shes slow to get off me
>....I wanna cum too
>ex bends over table and presents
>fuck the hell out of her til i jizz on her back.
>Kiss grope each other till her parents come home and let us in
p.s. dog watched the whole time

>work at the Tile Shop
>have 50+ fake bathrooms/living rooms to display shit
>work with girl for two years
>get drunk with girl while closing one night
>she sucks me off while I count the cash
>move onto most popular shower display
>fuck her all over that fake bathroom
>pull out and cum all over the shower accent
>4 days later, be working with sweet old lady
>she loves that same shower display
>starts feeling tile accent I came all over
>"user, this mosaic has a weird texture"
>Proceed to sell her and her husband on tile
>Receive a call a month later complaining her tile "lacks the same texture"
>Got laid, made commission

pure gold

Kill yourself my dude

Ex-gf blew me while I was talking with her mother on the phone.

one girl fingerfucked my ears while i was banging her... i didn't know how to react, so i shoved my finger up her butt... i was going to do that anyway though.

>post yfw you "accidentally" put it in her ass

damn pervert

Duck man is turning in his grave. But real talk I agree, that guy's a fucker

>Family Guy

>hook up with a girl at a party
>brings me home
>greeted at the door by 55kg husky
>things get started, we move to her bedroom
>she leaves the door open and the dog comes in
>dog starts to come up on the bed, I stop fingering her to shoo the dog away
>ask if it's okay to put the dog outside and close the door
>"no she'll just wine and scratch at the door"
>okay.html
>start fucking her
>she's loving it
>I'm loving it
>feel the dog jump up on the bed
>too close, can't do anything to shoo it away
>feel hot wet tongue licking my ass crack
>the surprise puts me over the edge and I start cumming hard as fuck
tl;dr dog gave me rimjob

>eating hot soup
>browse Sup Forums
>open some porn thread
>get boner
>gf grabs and jerks it
>cum hard
>spill hot soup on her
>oh fuck
>first degree burn
>mom asks how i burnt my hand
>she also needs about tree fiddy

>hook up with chubby 18yo girl on okcupid when i was 26 going back to college
>she's super sweet, heavy southern accent big blue eyes, very pretty girl, huge tits, delicious looking pussy just chubby
>she still has her hymen
>her favorite thing to do is get on top of me and slide her pussy up and down for like an hour until she comes, obviously this drives me completely fucking insane, she lets me put my cock up to her pussy and rub her hymen but not enter even
>will never let me have it
>gives me blowjobs, but won't swallow either, finish by fucking her huge tits every time

>valentines day comes one year, we've been out of contact a few weeks, but get in touch with her and make a date for that night
>i come over to her place, she opens the door in lingerie with a drink
>almost immediately starts making out with me and grabbing my cock, giving me a drink, she's literally dripping wet down her leg
>takes me to the bedroom within about 45 minutes of hanging out
>lays me down, slobs on my cock for a minute, then mounts me like usual
>feel my cock suddenly enter delicious tight 18 year old body
>go into porn mode "ohhhh my fuck baby you're so tight"
>she goes "i better be tight...ITS MY ASS"
>for some reason this insane bitch decided it was ok to give me her anal virginity but not her pussy
>she takes it like a champ though, is extremely into it, clearly it's blowing her mind that she's finally being penetrated for the first time in her life
>pull out and fuck her doggy style in the ass also, go take a shower together because she didn't want me to finish in her ass

>she agrees to suck it and i'll finish like normal between her tits
>as soon as she starts sucking me i start throbbing with the strength of a thousand boners thinking about how i was just fucking her virgin asshole
>start to cum
>grab her head and force her down onto it
>she doesn't resist and actually swallows absolutely everything
>never answers phone call again

>decided to make her a bad trick

Sounds like you made do her the big prank of life's time my friend

>diamonds

Also the 'only in my ass' is a Christian thing. Not unexpected from a Southern girl.

this bitch was so southern her middle name was lucretia

Finally I can actually contribute to these threads. Lost my v's the other weekend (To a friends girlfriend,but moving on.)
>She comes back to my place
>Obvious where it's going, start kissing and everything.
>She has told me before she's into being dominated, so i control everything.
>At one point, just suck on my finger and slide into her asshole. She doesn't say anything but pushed my hand away. Oh well.
>Had her up against the couch, smashing the back of her throat.
>Eventually just start smashing her box, and cum deep inside her.
This was last week, so i hope she takes her birth control.

in family guy they put the dick in the girl's ear. this was a korean girls putting her index fingers in each of my ears.

miriama kunkelova

Weidest? yes
Hottest? Only if you're like David Berkowitz or something

Hahahah, oh man, lost, thanks man

So hot.

She knew.

Fingering ex gf under a blanket on the couch while she jerked me off. Her dad was asleep in the recliner right next to us.

I once jerked off 12 times at my best friends house after smoking meth with him and telling how badly I wanted to suck his cock and make out with him. By the 8th orgasm, my cum was extremely watery. Pretty sure I swallowed a few as well

Anal is nature's birth control

Not hot/test/ but deff hot
>party at gf's house
>lots of people over
>some girls leave shoes by the door
>gets late, people sleep
>wake up early in the morn
>others will wake up and get shoes soon
>gf stalls this girl to give me time
>steal girls socks
>cum in this girl's shoes (pic related)
>she puts them on 30 min later
>"i think someone spilled their drink in my shoes"

Made my ex pass out during her orgasm brought on by me cumming balls deep in her ass

...

Back when I was in 4th grade, I gave a 60 year old dude a handjob for some Pokemon Cards
Guy had me wear a wig and an old robe, called me "Mommy" when he dribbled out his load
Got my cards and washed my hands off with a hose in the front yard

I had sex with a girl who was wearing a feline fursuit.

>it was fucking hot as hell and I came with the force of a thousand suns because she did these purring noises and shit
>pic related

Too many to fucking count.

I'll cut em all short:

>Be with gf at hot springs
>Rope is stretched across hot spring
>Hot mormon mom comes with husband
>Put my finger along rope and she sits on it
>Notices
>Moves away. I'm sure I'm fucked at this point.
>She comes back and sits back on my finger while talking to her husband.
>Never would have thought mormon pussy was shaved

Next story:
>Drunk girl pulls me all around bar
>We are by restrooms
>She pulls me into woman's restroom
>Pulls me into one of the stalls to "protect her"
>I whip out my dick and she sucks on it briefly with her boyfriend/brother outside

Next story:
>Be at different hot springs with different gf
>See this older couple.
>Grope the female
>I let my dick out and she's amazed how big it is
>Keeps perfectly quiet to my gf and her husband
>Can hear her quietly moaning under her voice
>At one point i try to move away because my gf is getting too close and would notice
>This lady would not let go of my dick until i was like 5 ft away.
>Masturbated to this memory over and over even at my gf's house while whispering to myself, "She would not let go of my dick."

More to come

Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaahahha!

I call bullshit.

Pic of sis.

Greentext the fucking story.

Read this story before.

Lol. You fucking autist.

Girls Mum sounds dope and you still sperged out and looked like a retard instead of owning it.

You animal.

pasta

same ex

>go away for weekend together
>stay in this cabin that has everything for the lovers suite it is (spa, open shower, mirror on ceiling above bed)
>we get into cabin and unpack our stuff
>ex going to bathroom
>comes out in lingerie, comes up to me and we start kissing
>rips my pants off and sucks me off
>cum deep down her throat
>pick her up and throw her on bed
>eat her pussy til she cums
>20 minutes later watching tv having a beer
>ex starts kissing me
>get horny again
>she gets ontop of me and rides my cock
>after a while switch over and pound her on the couch
>later that arvo/evening, we drinking watching tv, suggests the spa
>once its ready she gets in
>im sitting on side with feet in, she gets between my legs and sucks me off again
>dont cum tho, she just gets me rock hard
>rides me in the spa, both cum, she looked amazing in the spa dont know what it was
>we continue to kiss and enjoy each others company for about another half hour in the spa
>i get out and have shower
>ex joins me
>fuck her from behind in shower
>finish up in shower ready for bed
>we watching tv in bed
>she starts playing with herself and I go down on her, she cums and I come up and fuck her missionary
>can see her watching in the mirror
>then she gets ontop
>rides my cock and stares up at the mirror
>backs arched and boobs are sitting perfectly
>cum shortly later, she rides a little longer til she cums again
That day/night was the most hottest sexual experiences ive had

You fucked your friend's sister?

>miriama kunkelova
Thank you!

...

Next story:

>Be at party with girlfriend
>We chit chat with tons of people
>Meet this totally hot skinny redhead who is like 50 or 60 years old, but she looked like 38.
>She doesn't know I have a gf at the party
>I take her into one of the rooms and grope her
>She doesn't protest.
>I start taking her clothes off and fuck her from behind.
>Cum inside her within about 45 seconds. I was so turned on.
>We hung out a few times after that. Gf suspected something when she found her panties in my pocket. I told her some bullshit story about those panties being hers. Even though my gf has a huge ass and would never fit on those.

Next story:
>Be at hot springs again, this time by myself. Gf is at home. I'm coming back from a trip
>See this older couple there.
>Chubby woman with pompous older redneck guy
>I grope the woman while he's talking to some college students across from us
>She whispers, "are you touching me?"
>I go, "yes."
>I let out my dick and let her feel it. She giggles about me being too young. I'm 30. She's like 50.
>Then she gives in.
>She turns around and moves her bathing suit down
>I fuck her right there in the hot spring with her man 15 ft from us. Cum in 50 seconds flat.
>Turns out the guy she was there with was some guy she was cheating on her husband with.
>The cheatee got cheated on.

More to come

Found the cuck

what.

>this lady would not let go of my dick until i was like 5ft away


how is that possible?

>be 21
>be virgin
>go on vacation with friends to Amsterdam
>strip clubs, alcohol
>friends all been laid
>pay for me to visit prostitute
>fuck it, it's time
>go in, find it hard to stay hard
>she starts jerkin and suckin it
>too nervous.jpg
>we end up talking for 30 minutes
>she's actually pretty chill, relaxed, easy to talk to
>gives me her number, tells me call again before going home
>last night there
>feeling waaaay more confident
>ready to fuck for real this time
>give hooker the call
>tells me call over when she's done with other guys
>call over
>ok I'm ready
>she turns on tv
>whats going on?
>i thought we could just chill tonight, user, like before
>mfw friendzoned by a prostitute

Here's a pretty avg story about my sisters feet which happened earlier this year.

She came home drunk as hell one night. She passed out in the bathroom and left the door open so I picked her up and lay her on her bed and took off her shoes and socks. I massaged her feet until I was sure she was completely passed out then I kissed and sucked on her soles like no tomorrow and used her feet to jack me off and I came all over her size 7 feet.

>be married guy
>been fucking/getting fucked by dogs since i was 15
>wife has no idea i'm into dogs
>wife goes out with her friends to do monthly girly get together.
>german shepherd girl is in heat and needy as fuck
>start boning her missionary
>feels fucking amazing
>getting close to cumming
>right as i go over the edge the door opens
>i'm stark naked, buried balls deep in the dog and cumming as my wife walks in.
>pull out and sit on bed embarrassed as you can get.
>without missing a fucking beat, she grabs the phone she came back home for
>gives me a shit eating grin
>says "that was kinky as fuck"
>bends down and licks up a glob of cum from the dog's pussy
> she leaves without saying another word.

now the dog gets included in sex regularly. its like a super fucked up threesome anytime we want