Upper class american looking for a 'change'

I am 27 and have about 450k. Its not a huge amount of money, but I have been investing since I was 18, and if I don't touch it, then I can retire early.

I got fired from my cushy IT job do to a DUI off work, and have been unemployed since.

I have already been kicked out of USA navy at 18, but I still kind of want to join a military and see the world (even if I work in IT, accounting, fixing HVAC units, or driving water/sewage trucks.)

What country can I go to and get into the military, with only knowing English or elementary spanish?

Im willing to literally go to any country, but the country has to be a country I could live in happily, and accept me as a citizen after service. Lower amount of service is better, and higher pay is better.

I was thinking of Spain, Israel, France, maybe South Korea (but probably too different).

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awealthofcommonsense.com/2014/02/worlds-worst-market-timer/
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Why were you kicked out of the military?

The French are notorious for taking foreigners with military experience, but if you were kicked out for the wrong reasons they won't have you.

But you're essentially wishing to flee because you think the grass is greener. It's not, it's best to adjust to reality.

They also will give you citizenship if you complete service in the foreign legion.

Again, they really only accept people with significant experience these days though - I don't think you qualify.

I don't have experience in military, just a not good (not dishonorable) discharge.

Im looking to get paid for free language lessons, gym exercise, and free citizenship instead of borrowing money from my dad for a passive investor visa.

if pay and low amount of service are you thing then i would recommend the luxembourgish military , but it requires you to be fluent in luxembourgish

Not gonna happen

IDF looks easy to join

If you're a Jew.

I was also under the assumption that OP wanted to move to a real country.

real country would be better, but im not an A+ candidate, more like B-, C+
Im not jew, but i appreciate jewing people, so I thought it would be a good fit.

No, you're a D or an F.

Without military experience, no one is going to shell out money for your entitled naive ass.

Get a grip on reality. No armed force is that desperate for some wishy washy delusional foreign burnout kid.

Just take vacations like the rest of us. Or if you really want to live in a foreign country on someone else's dime, join the foreign service through the US government. But that's also very selective and highly competitive.

Actually, a DUI would exclude you from the foreign service.

So sorry, you fucked up. Just live off daddy's money or some shit, loser.

The usa recruits foreigners, its an easy way to earn citizenship.

IDF does it, but they pay shit like 200 a month, and teach you hebrew.

Best dual citizenship for JooSA, and they protect their citizens from interpol/other countries police (good for escaping USA exit taxes).

Why join the military? You seem to have skills that would make you desirable for a private organization. Come join the Chinese mafia. Pay is low at first, but once you prove yourself you might make it to Underboss or even Consigliere rank.

The USA isn't desperate for people right now.

Maybe the IDF would work, but I was pretty sure you had to be Jewish. Again, it's Israel though. Anyone willingly moving there that isn't Jewish is some kinda fucked in the head.

come to brazil :D

>pussy shit
>not try to become god of war from snow hell
Are you even trying ? Nigger.

You would be a foreigner in an all-Chinese outfit, so you'd stand out like an ugly blemish on an otherwise perfectly smooth set of baby white skin.

This shouldn't discourage you however, but only make you desire to work harder.

What country are you actually posting from btw?

>fucks up navy career by drunk driving
resign from life, navy life is the most simple shit in existence and you still managed to fuck up on your time off

Is it really that hard to believe that I am a real Chinese posting from China?

Yeah. Because you'd know he would never actually be able to get citizenship in China.

And you wouldn't be posting here. At the most extreme you're some white monkey or english teacher.

yes

Im open to chinese/vietnamese mafia.
I have a couple business ideas, no chinese/vietnamese mafia presence in my town yet, but i know a lot of vietnamese mafia in neighboring town.

I know chinese food, but not much chinese.
I would never commit a crime in china, but I could be concierge for china/usa prostitution ring, I know the business, and have shit loads of contacts with attractive chinese women between 20-28... i use wechat

So I can setup my ring with/out help from chinese mafia, so what can chinese mafia do for me?

Stop posting

>what can chinese mafia do for me?
well for starters, we can help you discern the difference between a concierge and a consigliere

I was thinking it would be more like a franchise

what have you been investing in?

like I buy rights to not be fucked with, raided, robbed or sting, and how is chinese mafia going to enforce the niggers/police from robbing me?

vti, veu, home depot, oled, bought nvda on friday, but going to dump and stick with nice safe vti or voo

come to think of it, I do have a connection to a successful chinese mafia gangster and his brother, but only brother (still rich) speaks english and they live in china....

Let's put it this way. If you set up your prostitution ring using Chinese girls without the Chinese mafia's consent, you can expect yourself to wake up with your eyes dug out of your skull using a spoon, a castrated penis in your mouth, and a brutally massive rubber dildo rammed up into the far corners of your ass. That is if you expect yourself to wake up at all.

i don't trust the markets anymore
it seems everything is disconnected from the "fundamentals"

somehow I don't believe that for a second...

Try it and find out.

FUCKING CHINESE DOG EATING CUNTS DIE DIE DIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

dividends boy.... dividends
it is a bit high now though,

You can't just say words that sound financial to reply to someone's post. What you've said essentially means nothing.

There are far worse torture methods we can employ, to be honest with you.

The one above was just me spitballing ideas off the top of my head.

We could also vivisect you without anesthesia or remove limbs from your body while dumping itching body over your body so you can't scratch.

Or we can dissect you like a frog in a lab as a science experiment all the while claiming it is for advancement of the human race, in the name of "medical research".

We already do it to bears for their bile. Why not on a real human? Benefits would be greater.

Remember, there are no ethics in China.
We already do it to bears for their bile. Why not a

I can reply to people's post how i want to..
but since your a bit of a downy (down syndrome) i will explain.
markets go up and down, but the real reason it is still a good idea to go long on sp500 is it pays a dividend higher than a bank will pay you interest.

they seem overpriced, but what else are you going to do, buy bonds in a rising inflation environment?!

Faggot, I am finishing a finance degree in three months and have rejected job offers for financial firms.

Don't pretend to know what you're talking about. Anyone worth their salt is shorting the market and buying bonds right now until banks have higher capital requirements.

Thanks for being the schmuck that gets feasted on, though.

>le markets go up and down

DURR DURR A HURR DURR

Derivatives. Options. Shorts. Securities that are not bonds.

Like, millions of things that aren't dumping money into overvalued equity markets.

did you thought of the french foreign legion ?

Lot of errors in this post. It's getting late so I will sleep.

yah considering it, spanish legion might be better, or easier for me with language, but I do hate spanish/mexicans

ok w/e get fucked and buy options/short stuff have fun...

Im happy being the top 80% investors

>Faggot, I am finishing a finance degree in three months and have rejected job offers for financial firms.
>Don't pretend to know what you're talking about. Anyone worth their salt is shorting the market and buying bonds right now until banks have higher capital requirements.

maximal kek

Buy and hold you fucking retard

You can't time the market you dumb fucking shitskin

STUPID FUCKING NIGGER I HOPE WE KILL YOU ALL SOME DAY

YOU CAN'T TIME THE MARKET.

THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE WHO "THINK" THEY CAN, ARE EVEN MORE WRONG. YOU CAN'T TIME THE MARKET

STOP

DOLLAR COST AVERAGE IN THE S&P500. STOP BEING A FUCKING RETARDED SHITSKIN

BROAD RANGE LOW-COST ETFS

There's going to be another recession in two, three years. I agree that timing the market is fundamentally bad practice, but we're gonna see a lot of bubbles burst the next few years. If you're buying now, you're retarded and better have a hell of a stomach.

dis russkie knows

>There's going to be another recession in two, three years

blahblabhblahblah

Okay genius. Then short it with leverage, you genius predictor.

Why aren't you the world's first trillionaire who predicts recessions?

>If you're buying now, you're retarded and better have a hell of a stomach.

Hurr durrr

If you're holding over a 10+ year long horizon (as you're suppose to) there's nothing to worry about.

Just dollar cost average. Time in the market > timing the market.


A little bit long but read this:
awealthofcommonsense.com/2014/02/worlds-worst-market-timer/

Was actually considering exactly what you said, I just want to see what Trump has to say about corporate taxes, what they're doing about Dodd-Frank, and if they're touching capital requirements.

This isn't 'genius stuff'. Until they fix the too big to fail problem, growth is going to be really erratic and I don't think the time to buy is now. I'd at least wait for the next dip.

You can't time the market.

read the link I posted in its entirety

hi canuck...
Is your army hiring, and what are the lowest etf funds in canada for passive investor visa...

Im planning on getting DUI expunged in 2 months anyways, so canada will be cool with it...
I hear they also have reciprociation agreements with IRAs/401ks, don't know about HSA's and 457s though.

What are you asking about?
Investor visa?

Pretty sure one of the requirements is over $1.5mm networth.

yah, that is pretty standard... Oz requires 2.5 to live in a state with more than 100k people.

Is quebec cheaper for investor visa, or should I go entrepreneur with 7-11 or Timmies?

I'm not sure senpai, just research it I guess.

Why do you want to come here so bad anyway

clean slate
BC looks fucking amazing from the map
My real reason is I want to start a septic tank company, but it's hard for me to do get hired in one where I live (DUI). In canada my DUI will not transfer, because the crime didn't happen (expunged) but it's still on my driving record in USA (class B and A driving are federal licenses).

I want to work in septic, because it's a fun job, and I get to work with poor dumb-asses like myself, but who don't have the capital to buy a truck.

your country looks first world

I live on the other side of the country

washington or east?

First off joining a military for change is a retarded idea. Militaries don't give a shit about you they want a bitch to do the job and get kicked around. The USN should have taught you that and these militaries around the world are not any different from it, in fact many are worse. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into and because you're looking for a cushy job and not a military role you are in for a big surprise when you get there.

Seriously, joining the ROK army when you don't know any Korean and you couldn't even handle the USN?

I live in Southern Ontario, it is a shithole.

As long as you live at least 80k from Toronto you should be fine

yeah, RoK not for me...
But IDF might be for me, they're into creating more Israeli's, not just here is your gun...

Im fine with being a bitch for like 18 months, learning the country/language by being in a bootcamp environment for 18 months even if only make $200 a month honestly.

It's not about the money, it's about becoming a citizen, and finding another country to run too, when my father dies (way around exit/cap gains tax)

That's where all the jobs and civilization are at, though

I live in Guelph which is like exactly 80k from Toronto and we have one of the lowest unemployment rates in the country. At least we did a couple years ago, I don't know about now.

Isn't your whole military structure still modelled on 17th centurie military's

I live in Aurora and it's not that great.

Where should I move to?

Yes come die for Israel goy, you are greatest ally!

But seriously man are you Jewish? If you are then I'd come here just for the army experience. If not I'm not sure you can do it.

well, I can be jewish... but I'm not going to get circumcised

but dividends are higher than letting your money on a bank account and cashing in dividends is quite save.

I'm not and I'm only half Jew so I still got a citizenship. Anyway Israel kinda sucks but is a fun country. If you don't get offended easy and can tell when someones jewing you and call them out you'd have a good time

wow! this sounds like my dream!
I love being a jew, (arguing, over prices trying to get good deals, complaining about prices) but I know nothing of judiasm. or hebrew
My parents don't know we are all jewish, they think they are english and an irish -american.

I am even willing to grow the locks and be a full blown Jew in israel, but i don't believe in circumcision for discomfort reasons.

The IDF Mahal (volunteer) program only takes males ages 18-23. Any later, and you only go to the military if you immigrate (at which point, you're just drafted).
You sound like a bit of a basketcase, and they might not even take you even if you did immigrate. Which may be a plus or a minus, depending on your point of view.
t. Ex-Mahalnik

My own gut feeling is that if you are miserable in the US, you'll be miserable everywhere. I'd spend a few months in any given country before you decide to immigrate.

yah your right...
trying out another state like Tennessee would be easier, and more realistic, but British colombia is awfully tempting, and similar to california with good growth

I don't do much traveling but Kitchener and Waterloo seem nice from the time I've spent in them. I wouldn't live in Cambridge though, it's full of rednecks.

Rednecks seem nice enough though