Post your deep and darkest secrets

Post your deep and darkest secrets

A female friend came over really drunk a few years back and passed out on my couch. She was out cold and luckily for me wearing a skirt. I slipped her panties off and ate her freshly shaved pussy for a good 20 minutes before slipping her panties back on and going to sleep

I was upset when Shasta McNasty was cancelled and started a letter writing campaign to UPN begging for it to be renewed.

I think that there is nothing wrong with being Jew

Did you ever get to the white creamy filling?

no, she moaned a few times but nothing more

I never reply and my mother never dies in her sleep.

I jerk off in front of a couple of old guys. They give me beer and cash. Fun times.

I fucked my sister and ate out my dog when I was younger.

underrated comment

It had barely been rated yet

total perv for my sis in law.go into her room smell and jack off into her dirty panties (mostly thongs), recorded her showering and now wank over that alot

I've wanked in front of and cummed on the faces of 3 of my close friends partners while we've all been with our respective partners.

The guy's don't know though obviously, at least I don't think so

overrated meme

U guy or girl

Stole my friends moms panties when she was home.

Samefag

Im in an incredibly great relationship and in the past year Ive gotten in great shape. The only reason I got in shape was to have sex with older lonely women with low self esteem. I dont hate my current partner, but monogomy is her life blood, and my sexual urges expand beyond anything she can "try and work at".

...

You've done it now...

I spy on women through their windows and record them showering/changing. I also cum on their wall outside their window.

Prove it.

sex is sex

>this

I clean up after myself at the gym.

im voting for Trump unironically

Im the number one pot dealer on my island. No im not from hawaii

Im a greedy fuck with my creeper vids so this is all you get.

more

I discreetly roofied my ex at a college party. She was fucked by like ten dudes that night. To this day, nobody knows who roofied her lol.

So in other words you're a selfish sack of shit that can't supress their urges for the sake of another. Your greed will see your ruin. I swear it

You're a peice of shit.

i bump dying threads

...

Was mannny years ago but when I was 16 I took the v of my sister's best friend who just turned 11 a few weeks before

>Be me in 7th grade
>Was homeschooled for five years prior
>No social norms
>Watching some film
>It's about a slave family
>Film says 'nigger'.
>Teacher asks a question concerning the slave family
>I answer the question and called the family 'niggers'
>EveryoneGasp.wav
>"Is that not what you call them?"
>mfw

I think hitler did some things wrong

my work is a revolving door of losers

whenever a new girl shows up that i can tell is a slut, i like to taint her lunch if she brings it to work.

easiest way is if they bring a soda can to work and leave it in the lunch room fridge. i will watch her put it in so i know which one it is and where, then later in the day, i will make a trip to the break room but before hand i will dig my fingers into my ass crack and coat them with my sweaty ass funk, then open fridge with clean hand and proceed to wipe my fingers all over the top and rim of her can.

later, at lunch i like to sit and watch her drink her soda with my ass aroma touching her nose.

i exist

I jerk off in front of hypnotized people so that they don't hear/remember

I stole my friends gf and then get bored with her.
Never again

how did u got her to fuck
pls give advice

I have a British girl in my basement lol.

So it was you

Pics or it didn't happen lol

I once killed someone

Holy fuck! How do you live with yourself?

I got turned on when my girlfriend saw my friends dick by accident.

lmao try again

Cuck confirmed

Lol

Was supossed to go to court today, fucked up the date and I thought it would be some other day. I am having a lawsuit against me for 8000$ in "damage compensation". I honestly fucked up by not coming I think and will probably not win the court hearing. I am having the court hearing moved to another day after a week.

Feelbadman.jpg have been feeling like shit all day

My girlfriend accidentally gave a complete stranger a blow job once.

Me and my family share an incestuous relationship at home but outside we try to be normal.

Jesus Christ is my nigger.

patience and lots of it. there isnt really a set formula. you have to give them all of your attention, make them feel special. Tell them they are pretty, funny, buy them things. I know it sounds cheesy but it's the fastest way to get a girl to like/trust you. Dont force anything or move to fast, she will let you know if it's time. I made out with her countless times before she was comfortable to taking it to the next level. same with oral, i didnt even try to get her to let me fuck her, i waited for her to make that decision. Fucking her for the 1st time was best moment of my life, even though the sex it's self wasnt good.

>accidentally

She tripped and fell mouth first on an erect dick and accidentally finished it?

They could have been in a dark room with other people, user,

Story?

I trapped my neighbors cat years ago and threw it in my basement, then brought my dog down to annihilate it.

I also throw rocks or shoot my .22 at any cat in my backyard

"accidentally" lol That's a really bad fuck up, how tf does that happen?

Khrone approves

I was just fishing for the story

My sister had her 15 minutes of fame once and posed naked for a magazine.

I fapped to it.

>Be me.
>Take girlfriend to go eat wings at this ghetto bar near campus.
>Delicious wings for really low price.
>We're University students so we're broke as fuck.
>Cheap wings is already a dream come true.
>Only downside is the place looks like it's some drug joint.
>Eat wings anyways.
>Finish eating.
>We both go to the washroom to clean up.
>Male and female washrooms right next to each other.
>Go in.
>Bathroom is so small.
>Can barely see anything as well, lighting is dim.
>One urinal and one boxed toilet stall.
>Want to take a shit but some guy is in the toilet.
>Wait for a minute or so then change my mind. I'll just shit at home.
>Do my business and take a piss at urinal.
>Suddenly hear the guy start to moan softly.
>He's groaning now.
>Sounds like he's having the best shit of his life or something.
>Weirded out as fuck so I quickly wash my hands and leave.
>Go outside to wait for girlfriend.
>Ten minutes pass by, what's taking her so long?
>Look at the washroom waiting.
>Even the guy moaning in the toilet finished and left.
>Five minutes later she comes out.
>There's a huge grin on her face.
>She seems happy.
>We walk for a bit back to campus.
>She looks at me with this big smile.
>'How did you like that blow job?' she asked me.
>What blowjob...
>'The one in the washroom? Through the hole?' her smile quickly drops.

Turns out she gave the guy in the washroom with me a blow job by accident. Apparently the female washroom only had one toilet for one person so she assumed it was the same on the male. She thought I was the only one in there so when she saw a dick go through the hole, it must have been mine.

sauce on this??

Got kickbacks from vendors at my old company.
>funded a long coke addiction
Never got caught

kek

Holy fuck, user.
Well, I was kinda right. It was a dark room.

Entertaining story, thanks user

I fucked my best friend's gf. They fought because something stupid, she came to my place crying and we shared some beers while talking.... She ended giving me head. The worst part, this was 3 months ago and we keep fucking on regular basis

Lmao that sucks user

So I'm guessing she swallowed then?

I ripped the tag off a mattress.

I'm calling the police

You know you're not a really good friend right?

It may be funny for you guys but I was actually flipping shit when she told me.

I see what you did there. Nice pun.

Yup. She swallowed it all...

MODS!

My mother passed away and my dad remarried her sister and had another child. My 'half brother' is also my 'half cousin'

a few years ago i would've believed you

me too

It's not really deep or dark, but it is somewhat of a secret that when my nieces stay with me we sometimes shower together. I dont force them or anything but i dont stop them if they want to. I dont molester them either.

SICK FUCK!

I eat my boogers sometimes, been going on since I was probably 4 years old (19 now).

I had a relationship with a rural Norwegian woman online for a while. She was a paedophile and into bestiality, gore, etc. Had a cute daughter as well, so she would tell me all sorts of fucked up shit.

I miss her sometimes. Elisabeth.

I ripped the tags of their mattresses too.
Sick trips. Check em.

Female worgen feet that stick out from under a purple robe

Should've broken up with her, careless mistake

Ive done that too. I have female friends come over and sometimes they bring starbucks. They leave their cup in my room to go to the bathroom or something and I dunk my dick in their drink (usually a cool sweet drink) and then quickly cum in their drink. When they come back I record them drinking it. Later on in the night I cum hard to the video.


I also exist.

I think Hitler did more good than bad and should be honored as a hero.

How badly did she react when she realized she swallowed a mouthful of some random dudes jizz? Was he a gross looking dude?

Im not the storyteller, but i think she knew all along

I'm a massive faggot and I can't stop.

>to the point where i wanna do hrt
>constantly seeking out someone to treat me like a bitch

What do famalama?

Post ass for me

...

Nearly same for me. I fucked my dog and ate out my sister when I was younger.

Spread.

Why the fuck would you want that? I'm English an most of our girls are fuking hideous.

it's summerfags having fun with eachother meme

You know the "reply to this post or your mother will die" meme. I'm the guy who kills the mothers of those who don't reply.

I'll have to take more when I get home from work