That brutal cake scene

>that brutal cake scene

how the fuck is this a kids movie

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Because you're a pussy. I wanted to eat that fucking cake.

Fucking 10/10 movie. We had it made growing up in the 90s.

Because Roald Dahl hated kids

>work at cinema
>woman leaving with her child halfway through
>'have a good day mam! Hope you enjoyed the movie!'
>turns around and tells me it is too dark, how is it a children's movie?
>mfw laugh
>mfw other workers tell me she wasn't the only one
>mfw she was actually serious

>The witches
Kids getting eternal torments and killed
>Matilda
Entire school is ruled by sadistic principal, daily child torture
>Chocolate factory
Every child that isnt Charlie gets tortured and maimed
>BFG
Giants goes around eating little kids

Roald Dahl was a sadist through and through

>when kids get locked inside that iron maiden.

After years of dust settling, it is important to remember that Danny Devito is to directing what Rosie O'Donnell is to pornography.

When the Trunch said the cafateria lady put her "sweat and blood" into baking that cake. I had never heard that expression.

>mfw when chubby eats a blood-sweat chocolate cake.

to say nothing of the twits, or georges marvelous medicine

dude was fucked

I thought the same exact thing, that part grossed me out until I was older

Good children's stories should have frightening things in them, Dahl understood this. See; The Brothers Grimm.

I thought it was kinda implied that she at least got some sweat and other gross shit in to it by how she wiped her nose so disgustingly after setting it down.

It's not. Anybody think Roald Dahl books can be turned into kids movies is fucking retarded.

"HE WANTED CAKE, HE GOT CAKE AND HE ATE IT!"

>mfw Pam Ferris is actually a really lovely woman IRL.

>girl with thr pigtails sent flying

lel

Has anyone seen the musical? It's based as fuck.

youtube.com/watch?v=K-0le91LyCA

Every fucking time.

Yes! I saw it at the Kennedy Center. It was AWESOME. The kids are seriously talented. The musical numbers were great too. All I could do was sit there in amazement at the talent. I also wondered how do these kids have time to perform and go to school.

It was fantastic, I got way too loaded and embarrassed myself and company.

When I Grow Up will make me cry

I saw it when I was 8 at school for the first time, every kid in my class thought the same thing...

Ikr? Born in 97 and proud of growing up in the decades of decades.

Same brother. Born in 99, the 90's were truly a magical time. Makes me sad it'll never be the 90s again, I miss those times

MOBY WHAT!

>you were 10 years old in 2007

if you are born in 97 then you grew up in the 2000's

I loved Devito in this.

I almost died laughing when the little girl said "I'm reading Moby Dick."

Devito says "MOBY WHAT!?" and proceeds to rip it up and call it filth.

Also Paul Reubens was a detective in it too. Not too long after the jerk off scandal.

Am I the only one who wanted to fuck Ms. Trunchable?

I WILL GET YOU.

I WILL GET YOU LIKE YOU GOT ME.

THAT IS A PROMISE.

Didn't see you post that. It's a good joke and sails over the kid's heads.

I can't tell what's bait anymore

ONMUHWAY
ONMUHWAY

youtu.be/IGMabBGydC0

You now realized that Danny Devito also directed this.

pancakes. that is all

i was born on the last day of 99' and i can't tell you how relieved i was when my mother said i was a 90's kid feelsgoodman

I was expecting a 9/11 edit

What?

Saw it on Broadway for a college class. Fucking blew my mind at how good it was.
>that fucking set

You guys should read some of his short stories.

>A woman beats her husband to death with a frozen leg of lamb, then feeds the leg to the police who come to investigate.
>A homeless man has a tattoo on his back done by a now famous artist. An identical piece of artwork shows up on a strange, fleshy canvas a few days after a rich businessman meets the homeless guy.
>A kid is bullied by other kids, to the point of tying him ddown on the train tracks, butchering a swan and tying it's wings to him and shooting him.
>A man intentionally jumps off a boat in the middle of the sea trying to slow down the ship, but is only seen by a mental health patient and is left there.

Shit's fucked up, and written in such an irreverant tone that it becomes even creepier.

School Song is one of the most technically impressive musical numbers I've ever seen. Both the writing and choreography were absolutely incredible.

Reminder that Devito adapted and directed the film

Same, fucking scared me shitless

Kids changed in the 90s too. Sour gross out candy was more popular than the sweet stuff.

Those fucking pancakes looked like the most delicious things I had even seen.

you worked at a movie theater when matilda was out?

Daily reminder a stinker like Hitler doesn't happen for no reason

>A kid is bullied by other kids, to the point of tying him ddown on the train tracks, butchering a swan and tying it's wings to him and shooting him
I remember this one. English is my second language and as a kid I was just getting some supposed light reading for practice at the time. But I remember getting queasy when the shit about slicing up the swan came up. Also how coldly the kid conjectures about whether the locomotive that's about to run him over may create a vacuum that will suck his body into the spinning wheels and grind him up.

that was dark as fuck and not even in an edgy way.

You aren't 90's kids if you were born after '95

>A woman beats her husband to death with a frozen leg of lamb, then feeds the leg to the police who come to investigate.
I remember reading this in english class and finding it funny but in retrospect that is fucked up.

Ever heard of sarcasm, my autistic friends?

Those last two, definitely. I'm not so sure about the first.

>Gotta be one hell of a weapon, Murph.
>Yeah. Probably stashed it somewhere nearby. He wouldn't be carrying it around. Pass the mint sauce, Fred.
Back in the sitting room, Mary Maloney began to giggle.

The first was me and I was only pretending to be retarded? U mad trolled bro?

>Not mentioning the one where the guy stays at a hotel and it's heavily implied the owner poisons handsome young men staying there and stuffs their corpses for probably-necrophilic reasons

at least when I got to read Poe when I was a teen the stories were said upfront to be horror or emo bullshit

> Dear reader,
> this book is emo bullshit
> Sincerely, Edger Allen Poe

>girl posts a news article on facebook about the fat kid
>tags me
>ask her why
>says because people use to call you his name
>she thought i knew and it was a funny nickname or something
>people actually calling me it behind my back and making fun of me

>mfw someone said they imagine devito in this movie is frank and this was his life before the events of always sunny

Shooting spree when?

...

They're actually midgets

Did you look like him or just really like chocolate cake?

If it's because you're fat, then they seriously have it out for you.

It is because I am a fatty

LOL THIS GUY IS FAT FUCKING LIL WHALE JESUS FAGGOT YOU'RE SO FAT LMAO

It's Roald Dahl you spaz. Didn't your parents ever read his stories to you? They're usually full of scary shit.

Time to kick some ass. Be known for something else now.

(You) on suicide watch kek

Many people here aren't burgers or anglos, though

>that scene where matilda uses her telekinetic powers to tear the police apart from the inside out and then drag a passing witness inside to sodomize her with broom handles and break her spirit with endless rape

holy shit this movie was dark

>Mara Wilson is now an internet feminist complaining about le patriarchy.

Trunchbull didn't do a good enough job, honestly.

If she wasn't ugly she wouldn't be doing it

Hunt down the story "Man From The South".

DUDE LE 90'S LMAOOO

FUCKING RETARD

Yeah I'd be jelly too you disgusting underage shit stain