Any other BPD Sup Forumsros?

Any other BPD Sup Forumsros?

I'm feeling pretty shitty tonight, drinking alone. God, I hate this.

JW if there's anyone else there that knows what kind of personal hell this illness is.

What's that

>sick dubs

Borderline Personality Disorder.

I've never been diagnosed with anything, but sometimes I don't know what's real.

It'll be okay, dude. Would tits help? Tits help everything, right?

That would be classified as dissociation. It's pretty common and a symptom of psychosis.

Tits would be nice, but no; it's not going to be okay. I'm stuck with this for life because of my abusive childhood and teenage years. It won't be all right, but thanks man.

>tfw BPD is presented more in women
>tfw I'll never be taken seriously because I'm the minority of the mental illness

wew lad

How did you get diagnosed, op?

I've thought for a while that I may have it just because the symptoms seem relevant to me but I would'nt say shit for sure until a professional would tell me.

Also do meds help?

At first I did le tumblr style self-diagnosis. It was actually my ex who was professionally diagnosed who told me I should look into it, because I seemed like I had it. I did. I went to a therapist and scared the shit out of him with what I told him. He sent me to a psych and I was formally diagnosed with it.

Honestly? The symptoms seem pretty accurate to EVERYONE. Like, everything listed is relevant to someone's life in some way. If I didn't have it, I would believe it, too -

But, on that same note, you will KNOW if you have it. It's hell. Every day of your life is your own hell. I've ruined good women and made them cynical; I've abused people without even a second thought; and I've been so reckless in how I've felt that I've totally destroyed others and made them cold and hard.

Meds help control the symptoms. They do not take them away. This is a personality disorder. It is for life.

>he bump him own got dam thread

tell us a tale user

Havnt gotten diagnosed yet because im too much of an anxieous bitch to go to a therapist, but BPD fits me to a tee, althogh i wish it didnt, i hope i dont actually have it and can be considered a normal peice of shit and not a crazy one.
how have the meds made you feel?

At any rate, I have a marker and I'm kind of out of it. It may not be okay, but one day it might be.

sick dubs

Let's see. The most recent.

>be in an affair with a woman last year, lasting from Jan-July
>we break it off for multiple reasons
>I lose my shit
>become depressed beyond belief
>lose 90Ib
>become skelly
>become alcoholic
>because of BPD, lose my shit and cannot control myself around my reckless impulses
>fuck girls without a care
>do everything without note
>quit my job, etc etc

>fastforward a few months
>working a stable job
>still in contact with m8s from that time
>we're talking on skype whilst i'm at work
>one of them mentions how that girl that i loved with every part of me is fucking a guy i used to know
>i try to keep calm
>I can't
>pull my flask out
>drink entire thing
>at least 7 shots
>again, while at work
>can't control the panic attack
>freak out
>anxiety, mania, it all rushes through
>my coworkers try to console me
>doesn't work
>i literally run out of the building
>on the drive home, attempt to call people to ask for help
>none answer
>i start downing a bottle of honey Jack in the passenger seat
>I decide that in order to escape what I feel, I I have to die.

cont.

>get to my parents' house
>I literally break down their bedroom door because I don't want to use my expensive razor to do this
>I take a disposalable razor
>I break it with scissors
>I take the blades from three separate ones
>I go to work.

>sit in the bathroom
>over 500 cuts on my arm; non-threatening, but enough to lose blood
>I realise I need more
>Get a knife from downstairs
>Put it in the sink whilst I work on my arm
>I carve my ex's name into my arm.
>I see muscle and fat.

>I call my best friend to tell him I love him
>he gets concerned and breaks into my house
>Finds me with a knife as I slice my radial artery open
>Forces me to a hospital
>I spend two months in a mental ward

That's the most recent, most-severe breakdown.

god damn

im sorry bro

i have had my moments of intense mental anguish as well...was rejected by a girl and ended up going on a week long scotch and xanax bender, bit my arms all the fuck up...parents put me in the psych ward...

my dx has always been depression, anxiety, and alcoholism though
life is suffering

The meds are just downers. For most people with BPD, their impulse/SH shoots up with episodes of mania; for others, it's depression that wrecks how they think, perceive anything, etc.

The meds I take handle my depression. Even then, they don't control suicidal thoughts, guilt, etc., and everything else. Every single day I am plagued by the thoughts of my wrongs over the past 10 years and tortured by how much I overthink things. I'm so paranoid I got diagnosed with schizophrenia before I did BPD.

Meds only help level what you feel. They don't take it away. DBT helps some, but not all.

Thanks anonette, appreciate it. Keep on bein a beaut

Alcoholism is just an attachment to all other forms of depression. Anxiety is common and so is depression. Regardless, I know your feel user.

What is the most shit is feeling this much so often.

See pic related. It may relate to you, but it is life to me.

iktf user

>tfw therapist tells me it's bipolar but i know better

I'm so sorry, man. I wish I could give you a hug.

>be last night
>made the mistake of getting stoned
>spend hours lying on bed coming up with reasons to hate myself after awkward date on Monday
>keep cycling between depression, anxiety and anger
>decide to spend my last $10 on beer
>drink a few, fall asleep

>be two hours ago
>wake up
>remember why I started drinking
>start drinking again

HERE I GO AGAIN ON MY OWWWWWN
GOIN DOWN THE ONLY ROAD I'VE EVER KNOWN

Thanks, dude. I wish the person that I should've been could give me one, too.

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

God, I love hating myself every waking moment of my life. :^)))))))))))))))))))))))

Don't worry Sup Forumsro, i feel like I've been misdiagnosed BPD tbh, I'm not sure what I have, but sure, some of the symptoms I have are consistent with BPD, it just doesn't seem to fit me though. I don't know, I'm just fucked up.

lookin good anonette!

A lot of them are probably very relatable to those with normally-functioning emotions; what sets them apart is how they act on it, how it is personally felt, etc. I would suspect that that is why it's such a rare thing to be diagnosed with.

We'll be right mate. One day, maybe.

...

/bpd/ Sup Forumsro reporting in

kill me