Hey Sup Forums, what's good homemade substitute for buttplug? I was thinking about carving one from potato...

Hey Sup Forums, what's good homemade substitute for buttplug? I was thinking about carving one from potato, but I wanna hear your opinion

Well if it like broke in there then that would be bad probably. Did you hear about the lady who left one in her copter for days as a contraceptive and then it grew roots I'm her cooter? I assume you are less retarded than that (hopefully). She was hospitalized. Lol when I was way way younger used to use an electric tooth brush inverted as a small dido because it vibrated.

Don't worry, I'm not THAT stupid, and I'm sometimes using el. toothbrush, but I wanna something that'll stay inside

Marbles work and you can just shit them out

Two golf balls also just shit them out

Just buy a buttplug OP. I literally bought one yesterday for $20 delivered to my door.
Otherwise, screwdrivers with the big cushy handles.

just buy a toy?

Carve one from ginger

Light bulbs work real well.

OP is a pussy. Just use your fucking fist.

wine stopper

Glass bottles

use a condom or you will feel the soul-less wrath of all gingers combined in your anus

You had to ruin it, didn't you?

this
and
this

Nah. Ginger. Use that.

1. Get a normal juice glass. If your parents are really strict go buy one from dollar store so they won't notice one missing
2. Get a couple wax candles. Not the dinner table thin ones or tea lights, but those thick fuckers.
3. Get an old sauce pan, again, go buy one from a dollar store.
4. Chop or grind up the candles into small chunks.
5. If you're super brave you can try this in the oven at home, but if you fuck up, good luck explaining it so if you live in a rural area or have a large yard make a small fire pit to melt the wax. As it melts add more solid chucks. Don't inhale the fumes, they're bad mmm'kay?
6. As the pan fills, start pouring the wax into your juice glass. Continue adding chunks of wax to the pan and melting. You want to have the glass full while the wax so it forms a solid mass.
7. Continue melting wax. As the wax in the glass cools you will notice the center hollowing out. Continue pouring melted wax into this crevasse. There will inevitable be some hallowing, but hopefully close to the base so that the tip is solid for at least 4-5 inches.
8. Store somewhere save until completely cool. The wax will probably have settled a couple cm below the rim of the glass after cooling.
9. Tap around the rim of the glass with a butter knife until it cracks and peel the glass off the wax. Once about half the glass is cracked away you should be able to pull out your wax dildo.
10. Inspect for a remove glass fragments, Clear thoroughly with soap and cold water.

pros: minimum risk of injury if breakage occures, makes ass smell like vanilla and other scents
cons: possible ass cancer, don't store in warm places

also don't use the shitty wax that crumbles easily

use a carrot, i used to do that

A number of vertical paper towel holders are also suspiciously phallic in nature.

You're welcome, faggots.

a dick

carve one out of ginger root

You better find the Biggest potato you can

>buttplug
>I was thinking about carving one from a potato.
>carving
>buttplug
>potato

Thanks OP I never laugh in those ylyl threads but this one made my night.

use a carved piece of ginger root; it helps with sphincter control

I saw a video where a guy made good use of an empty glass jar as a buttplug, you should try that.

beat me to it...

Wtf is with all you faggots