Hey Sup Forums, I've gotten a little bored with normal masturbation...

Hey Sup Forums, I've gotten a little bored with normal masturbation, I need something to make it more fun and interesting, any suggestions?

Other urls found in this thread:

thisvid.com/videos/6-poops/
strawpoll.me/10857452
erowid.com/experiences/exp.php?ID=82659
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Have you tried masturbating while pretending to ignore the hallucinatory spiders that are in the corners of your vision? It can be exciting!

What do I need to smoke to find them?

Put your flashlight in the ass and guib yourself a handjob.

Have you tried going on /d/

What kind of flashlight?

this guy gets it

Eat like 10 of these little pink guys. You can get a 100ct bottle at dollar stores, or for like $4 at Wal-mart / CVS.

If you eat 20, your hallucinations will get even stranger, but it might be hard to jerk it since at that point your skeleton will feel like it's made of lead, and you'll forget what you're doing every 5 minutes.

At 30, I genuinely can't remember what the fuck happens, but it's funny as fuck every time.

Beyond 40 is not recommended.

What happens beyond 40?

This always works me.

Mom will never let you down

bump

an hero

nope

what

Beyond 40, your body starts to shut down. Unlike most drugs, Diphenhydramine blocks all neurotransmitters. Not just the ones that you make you feel a certain way, but just all of them. All the neurotransmitters. So, there is an amount of this drug that will make your heart stop, and make it impossible to breathe. I'm not sayin' it's 40. I'm just sayin', I haven't made it past 40, and I wouldn't recommend that amount or higher.

Exciting!

40 pills won't kill you

...

masturbate with a frozen habanero pepper in the palm of your hand

>the icy hot

Chilli peppers + rope = amazing self lubricating anal beads.

Several of the models on the scatshop site will sell you their she-shits. You could order some and use it as lube. They'll even send you a vid of them shitting it out and packing it up.

>mfw

Lube Up and Flame On!

Masturbate as usual, but just as you are about to cum stick a pen in you eye

Bring up some Club Penguin

You're getting your internets mixed up, sir. I think you've had enough Sup Forums for today.

but it's all I have

Apply some bengay on your dick, instead of your regular cream. Most people say thats how a real vagina feels like.

Also moar like OP's pic

desu!

experienced DPH fag here

10 25mg diphenhydromine pills are close enough to the "not-fun-at-all" zone that I wouldn't recommend it. at most, a good, first timer, fap dose is 4 to 6 pills, which toy can get from any gas station for less than 3 bucks.

as for taking 40 pills, that's 1000mg, this PROBABLY won't kill you. from the stories I've seen, death is very rare. it's hard to die from DPH alone, but like liquor and molly, if you mix uppers with downers, your chances of serious consequences go through the roof.

Do they have free vids there? That's a hot pic.

Use super glue as lube.
Try to cum before your hand gets stuck. Make it a game.

...

HIVEMIND

No free vids, but hang on a sec i'll find one of that model and post the link. her name is loverachelle2

\

here
thisvid.com/videos/6-poops/

Shove a cobra snake up your vagina and see if you can get it to take a shit in your uterus.

In the future, the most advanced humans will have evolved their digestion to the point that cute girls literally shit frosting. In this way, our food will be digested multiple times (like many species on this planet already do, and our evolutionary ancestors used to) increasing the efficiency of nutritional extraction. Our internal flora will coevolve, to break down nutrients that our genetics can't. We will be able to subsist on less, and produce less waste, and it will be *delicious.*

Let's hive mind it up!

It's like she is shitting a wooden club.

...

Thanks brah

>In the future, the most advanced humans will have evolved their digestion to the point that cute girls literally shit frosting
I wouldn't want that. I love the idea of sexy girls taking giant smelly shits and being all embarrassed that they could produce something so foul

I think you'd be fucking braindead if all your neurotransmitters were blocked user

Then our species lines must diverge, since anybody who's anybody knows that far from being foul, or smelling, it's the sweetest substance that exists on this earth. Refined, pure essence of femininity. At least, the ones who have feminine poops.

Feel free to breed with any women that make disgusting, foul turds. More power to ya'.

I love shitting girls

Which one?

strawpoll.me/10857452

CP always work

...

Which one is the white one?

Buy a cheap vr headset of amazon and enjoy virtual porn

are
you
fucking
kidding me?
seriously is this real life?
i can't describe with words the feelings i went through seeing this screenshot
i don't even know what's worse
this stupid bitch attempting to sell her SHIT on the internet as that's something fine
of the possibility that sad pathetic fatfucks actually contemplating the act of buying SHIT just because it fell from a "girl's" asshole
wow
just...ok enough internet for now i guess

It's basically the best thing in the existence. 4.5 billion years of planetary cycles and 3.5 billion years of evolution came together so that females could ingest a thing into their body, and internally change its chemical formula to make girly poo. All of existence is centered around this act of creation, and even those who don't see its purpose, who turn up their noses and scoff at the beauty which is shitting girls are only playing their part in the galactic cycle to make the most refined, delicious butt munchable substance in all of creation.

It truly is the purpose of life, y'know.

>>>/Reddit/

search for this on pixiv:

変態 OR 肉体改造

Not trying, doing. And not contemplating, buying. Everyone has their thing dick. Not everyone likes to jerk off to pictures of sonic giving tails a reach around like you.

Chek'd
And rekt'd

Got to an asian massage parlor, and have someone masturbate you. It's pretty cheap, and it's kinda nice.

Play with your butthole

...

> stupid bitch attempting to sell her SHIT
she's far from stupid. she has a backlog of orders. why flush it down the toilet when you know there are guys who want to buy it? she doesn't have to work really. go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food, go to grocery store, buy food, eat the food, digest the food, poop it out, sell the turd, use money to buy food,

i hope you die asphyxiated with a lump of her shit lodged inside your trachea you sad, SAD excuse of a human being
>
>hurr consecutive numbahs

I don't have to buy it sad, sad user. I have a gf that does it.

You, on the other hand, will die alone, most likely by your own hand.

You must be 18 years of age or older to use this website

Now imagine an entire economy based on that system. Call it "the universe." She's living the most enlightened lifestyle a denizen of reality can.

...

70 dollars isnt enough to live on fyi user.

...

How much do you make per shit, 5 bucks?

u know you want to eat this hot girl-turd filled with corn. you're so mad about people buying girl-turds, it's obvious you want one too, you're just in denial

your hand doesn't count as gf user
>you'll die alone
damn this is some top grade projection
can i rent you for my datashow presentation next monday?
what are you doing here?

OP all these suggestions are humorous, but seriously what you need to do is make a butt plug out of ginger root. The feeling is like no other. Best part is when the effects wear off just shave off a layer to recharge it

If you take a shit 4 times per week and sell it I'd argue you'd make a $50 profit including shipping and tax. Supplement that with webcam income and a 20 hour per week part time job and you'll be fine.

I'm here to tell underage sperglords like you to migrate back to plebbit

I'm not here to contribute in the slightest, just here to test some shit and happened to pick the worst thread to do so

if she produces lets say 5 turds a week and sells them all for $70 that's $18,200 a year. Plus she videos herself pooping and sells the videos which she can sell forever, I bet she's bringing in 40k a year just from pooping

keep telling yourself that

By data show do you been when you show your binder of yugioh cards to your mom while she sighs, thinks about that abortion she could've had for the millionth time, and pours herself the 4th glass of wine of the day?

Man I really wish I could find her whole videos without paying.

This is now a whine thread.

I really like Arbor Mist. It's like, the cheap knock-off brand of soda wine, and it's so god damned good. I drink it in public, and I bring it to parties, because I don't even care. Shit be poppin'.

Are you like, a 17 year old girl?

it's been a whine thread this entire time. ~__~

Mentally, yes. In every other way... not so much.

How's that going?

ok

erowid.com/experiences/exp.php?ID=82659

Long term usage is probably not advisable. Be safe guise.

...

It's whatever. Aside from a crippling addiction to everything Lady Gaga is a part of, and my choice of alcoholic drinks at social gatherings, my condition mostly goes unnoticed, and I don't bring it up unless someone specifically asks. It does make it difficult to drive stick sometimes, tho...

Ohyah, for sure.

Disclaimer: Diphentripping is a sketchy ass way to get high that some anonymous fucker on Sup Forums told you to do, and it's probably a really bad idea, or whatever. But aside from that, and the horrific nightmarish, soul ripping hallucinations you may or may not experience, it's fucking fantastic.

See you ruined it right there cuz no 17 year old girl likes lady gaga

lost the sauce for this, have it?

>not being in high school around 2007-2011

Use Google you nigger

...

... Then they wouldn't be 17 anymore would they stupid?

...

H O T

pic related
did you miss the point?

...

...

...