So there is something wrong with me
I am on the verge of losing my mind, and I hate being on the verge. I want to either induce and invite this illness in, and let it destroy me, or abolish it.
How do I do it? Feed my delusions? I'd prefer to just let this illness take me to my grave
Other urls found in this thread:
youtu.be
worldtrans.org
bibliotecapleyades.net
flanagan-neurophone.com
youtube.com
psychcentral.com
m.wikihow.com
twitter.com
one vote for riding the wave
I know one of you faggots knows what to do
I am sick of fighting, help me tear down my mind
I'm interested in hearing more from you, user.
What is this illness that you speak of?
Where did it come from and how is it affecting you?
Why don't you streak in public or on the net?
Bumping for more
I am unsure what the illness is. I'm not even sure if it's real or if I'm being forced into it by someone or something. There's this sound I hear every night when I try to sleep, some sort of sound wave. I think it could be something they are using to control the way I think, but I'm not even sure how long this sound has been around for, it is very faint.
Also, I am certain that my thoughts are able to be read by people. I'm not sure if it's the whole world in on it or just people in my city. Everyone always takes opportunities to cut me off before I do or say something I'm thinking about.
Will continue..
If you can share more, please do. I'm intrigued.
Bumping
I'm not even sure if any of this world is real, perhaps I am in a coma. Or maybe I am in some sort of psychosis and this is all a fabrication of my mind. Or maybe it's never been real.
I think I'm being followed and watched, but I can't figure out who it is that is doing this. Maybe I'm being experimented on by the government, but I haven't tried to figure it out yet. Even my family is in on it.
There is no real source of this either, I just slowly started to figure these things out as I got older, and now it's gotten to the point where I'm not sure if I'm crazy or not. I need help figuring that out but the doctors are not to be trusted. They are more than likely in on the whole operation, and I think I'm being poisoned by my pharmacist
What else would you like to know?
CRAAAAAAWWWWWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNN!
the obligatory user who thinks he's funny has arrived
Is it possible for you to describe what the faint sound is if you can provide the slightest bit of more detail? Also, please provide an example of someone cutting you off intentionally in the middle of pne of your spoken sentences. You may not be alone with this.
This, for openers.
Listen to some Eyedea.
The sound that I've been hearing sounds similar to those "binaural beats" or whatever the fuck they're called. It's just a repeating sound that sounds like it's being projected through my room. It even makes my head throb if I focus on it long enough.
When I start to think about certain things, such as harming myself, or maybe asking someone to drive me home or anything like that, people will immediately start talking about something seemingly random. I'm not sure if this is the example you wanted, or if I can even explain what I mean by it.
I just feel as if people can tell what I'm thinking and they know it stresses me out when I am unable to say what I'm thinking, so they never allow me to.
Absolute textbook schizophrenia.
Psychology major here
is it possible that the government has induced this so they could observe me until they either get the results they want or something drastic happens and they have to take me out? What if they are planning my execution because I'm figuring this shit out?
Do you feel that you're being deliberately redirected for some reason? Also, I don't know how to contend with your last sentence where it seems that your thoughts are being intercepted. That sounds rather hellish.
Man, I've been sleeping 20mins to an hour a night for a month now going through methadone withdrawals after ditching the clinic cold turkey at 60mgs...I feel like I'm going crazy all the time, I'm ALWAYS tired. I have no job. My car is dead with grass growing all around it in the driveway...I was about a minute away from pulling a Robin Williams, then my girl started banging on the door and heard me knocking shit over trying to open the door to get the belt out....shits been even worse inside my head since, and I just put on a happy face everyday. My mask. Fake it till you make it right.......
Bro I don't know what to tell you except that I promise you are not being poisoned by your pharmacist, The government doesn't give two shits about you, you are not Jason Borne. I hate that you have this illness man I sincerely mean that.
Yes, it's almost as if they don't want me to reach some sort of logical conclusion, or they just don't want me to think a certain way. Maybe they just want me to give up this fight and allow the experiment to continue
If I think about suicide and they suddenly try to change my mind, which makes me think that maybe they're all in on it and they want to help this experiment go on and on as long as possible.
Although on the other hand I do believe shot the government does is causing schizophrenia in more and more people every day. I just don't know how or why.
Hey man, you're alright. No one is trying to read your thoughts. The other night while not being able to sleep I decided to take a shower. I kept hearing what sounded like a faint radio signal with static/people talking/singing...it was so weird and every time I thought I was getting closer to the sound it went away. I was waiting to pull back the shower curtain to be killed, yet here I am, still alive, if it's all fake, fuck it. Make the best of it, whether this world is real or not we have to make the best of it, otherwise, what's the point?
Are you feeling enough pressure from this illness or are there any other factors from the outside that may be stressing you? Beyond yourself, do you have any support system in place? But, you said your family looks to be "in on it," so that's looking doubtful.
Is the signal gone for good for you?
Bumping
I'm the guy going through methadone withdrawals so hopefully soon, I still can't sleep and the restless leg/body is killing me slowly...I keep telling myself it's only sleep deprivation, but everyday when I'm home alone I hear it. I've torn my house apart looking for it and found nothing. The wife was NOT happy when she came home to me sitting outside smoking and found a trashed house inside....it's not here now, but I know it'll come back. I wish I could snort a fat line of heroin to make it all go away for a while but...that's the old me...I've been running for too long and I'm ready to face it.
I have been certain about people receiving my thoughts since high school. I'm not sure if it's because of some weird mutation or mental gift that I have that allows me to send my thoughts to other people, or if it's the opposite and everyone else can read thoughts but I can't. I know it because, as an example, in high school I would think something about a certain person, whether it be slitting their throat or fucking them, and they would look at me.
I'm not sure, I've been almost trapped inside my own head as of late. I have no job and no interests anymore, so I just feel as if I need to figure out what is being done to me. I don't exactly have any sort of support system, I can't trust the hospital, they just want to do tests on me and scan my brain. I can't trust my family doctor because he seems to be in on it. As for my family, they seem to jump between being supportive and being against me, almost as if they've been replaced entirely, or some sort of clones come in while they are away and just fuck with me.
What you describe is thought broadcasting, thought insertion. These are symptoms of a disease called schizophrenia. It is best for you to speak to a doctor.
>I know it because, as an example, in high school I would think something about a certain person, whether it be slitting their throat or fucking them, and they would look at me.
Were these conflicting thoughts about different people in your class or your HS?
These thoughts would be about anyone. Generally people that were around me at the time. I'm not sure if there is a distance limit on how far away they can hear my thoughts from.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk to my doctor anymore, there's just no way for me to know if he's in on all of this as well, until I can prove or disprove it
Maybe this is the issue, OP.
worldtrans.org
Psych guy here this is the only answer.
I wish I could talk irl to this guy cuz he probably thinks we are in on "it"
Already thinking the doctors are the enemy..
You might be too far gone my friend good luck with your tin foil hat and satellite teeth. Psych fag out
>
you need to be praying to jesus. not hoping btards care, jesus lives always in the now and is ready to help you now
I used to think about that too, but honestly, they probably looked over at you because you were staring at them. You're just VERY paranoid right now. Believe me man, I've been there. Best things you need to come to terms with. No one gives a fuck about you. You're life is a small blip in time compared to the universe we all live in. Your parents fucked to make you, so why not at least to them the favor of staying alive. The thought of my mom at my funeral is one that's kept the belt off my neck for a while now. Hang in there man. I promise it gets better. The government is way too busy in the circle jerk of making money off the working class American people, so unless you're planning some mass shooting, you have nothing to worry about.
dude this is schiz, i have it in my family, check your family history, key tips: AVOID WEED (ignore the weed proselytizers), avoid stress, try to be in nature as much as possible, get meds,
It's paranoid schizophrenia OP, see a therapist and they'll prescribe you medications for it. Trust me, you'll be okay. No one can read your thoughts, it's impossible to do so. And the sounds you hear might be delusions your brain creates and the sooner you accept this fact the better your life will be. But nonetheless, you'll be okay, paranoid schizophrenia is nothing major. Godspeed OP.
I believe to some extent you are all keeping some knowledge from me. I feel either you are all trying to get me to spill some sort of knowledge I'm not supposed to give out, or maybe you are all aware of exactly who I am and are trying to help the government poison me, or control the thoughts I think. I am not sure how I can prove it right or wrong
I'm not sure all doctors are the enemy, but I don't even know if I want help. How do I know medication isn't some elaborate scheme to get me to stay in this strange psychosis, maybe I'm supposed to kill myself to get out of a coma, I can't find the sign I've been searching for.
Jesus has abandoned me years ago. I don't believe.
I don't want to hurt anyone, and I am not sure whether I'm not important and just crazy or whether I am being watched by the whole world. I have kind of given up on trying to prove that I'm monitored by cameras.
Perhaps I'll try to get help for it when I can. But how do I bring it up? How do I know they're not going to just downplay it to keep me insane?
You will NEVER be able to prove or disprove, only give a fuck, or stop giving a fuck. Usually if you make the right choice and think "hey, even if this doctor is part of some big government conspiracy surrounding ME (which btw, from another fucked up soul in this world, is a selfish and self absorbed thought to have) who cares?! What's the worst that could happen? They give you pills that will make you feel better and close to normal, or the pills make you want to die even more, and if you end up dead...again...who gives a fuck?! You'll be dead, so no pain there. Life is precious, life is pain, but when you fight it, there's so much to gain.
Stop that. It's not over. You can improve user.
Bumping for more from OP
schiz schiz schiz schiz clear as day, havent you looked up schiz yet? check your family, some other relative probly has it too
If you really want to rage quit life, go for it. I promise you one thing though if you choose that path...you won't "wake up" from a coma or go the heaven. You'll be dead and gone with no conscious thoughts or cares. You'll be a cadaver rotting in the ground and nothing more. I started the heroin bullshit to quiet my mind. But during my detox realized anyone can change as much as they want, you just need trust, and a very strong desire.
I'll have to read about it tonight
I guess to some extent you're right, maybe I'm doomed for the grave either way.. but maybe I'm digging my own hole
Doesn't "schiz" mean split? I don't think it's all in their head. They may be "split" apart from something or someone else. I don't know what.
If you really want to rage quit life, go for it. I promise you one thing though if you choose that path...you won't "wake up" from a coma or go the heaven. You'll be dead and gone with no conscious thoughts or cares. You'll be a cadaver rotting in the ground and nothing more. I started the heroin bullshit to quiet my mind. But during my detox realized anyone can change as much as they want, you just need trust, and a very strong desire.First rule of holes....STOP DIGGING.
I'm trying man, really trying...just need to hold on and keep pushing through until I feel better. Can't wait to start working again.
Why are you so despairing, OP? How long have you been suffering with this? Do you have any distractions of your own choosing to cope with the illness?
for most of my life I believed that life is a beautiful thing, but lately I've been unsure of whether any of it is real, it doesn't seem as beautiful as it used to. It seems dark, and empty now.
how do I stop digging though? I feel as if I'm in control of very little anymore
I'm not sure anymore how long it's been, more than half my life.. that much I'm sure of. Most of this has happened within the last couple years though. Most stuff before that is rather "foggy". I have no enjoyment in any distractions, I kind of just exist through the pain and then sit in silence through the numbness
You may keep the sign that you're searching for private, but do you think there would be any development to come from this to make all that you've been going through worthwhile? Are you planning on taking a trip for a vacation any time soon?
Simply go to a therapist and tell him/her everything you told us. They'll give you some medications to suppress unappealing thoughts. You'll be okay, and just like the other user said, turn to Jesus. It can change your life. Either way, I wish you the best pal.
This thread is real, but Jake, ignore anyone using your name, that's just a hallucination
Sounds like early psychosis. Hopefully will get treatment.
Look up "delusional symptoms" on google. There's a post by wikihow that helped me a lot. I used to think delusional shit before, too. Although for you it might be schizophrenia, because that one dude diagnosed it. Stop thinking too much. Do/think what you have to to eventually shake off this shit, but never ever hurt anyone nor yourself. That's the golden rule. Keep that rule with you, and try and think less fucked up unrealistic shit, and you'll be fine. For me, I thought i had this aura where everyone wanted to fuck me, and the government did it to me to ruin my life and plan society's downfall. Some shitty sexual stuff around that time that happened to me, scoial anxiety, along with being delusional, as in thinking i was talking to my subconscious or some shit, is what caused that. It was not a government experiment, it was just me being dumb. Maybe for you it comes from something, or maybe you just have schizophrenia. Who knows. But remember the golden rule, you'll be fine. I learned over time that most things are very simple and that most people don't care much about you. Stay strong mate.
Christian, keep calm. Help is on the way.
I have no plans, nothing. As for the sign, I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to be watching for and so that brings me great stress. How do I know I didn't already miss it? Or maybe it will be blatantly obvious.
What if they don't believe me and just send me away?
I appreciate your words
Anyone else who I haven't replied to, I have read them all, I am just replying to some to keep thread alive.
Why can't you hold on to any good dreams or memories? Would any that you have had provide a sign as to why you are still alive and/or what you may need to do or experience? Do you feel as if you're going through a trial by fire or a dark night of the soul?
Thought life was beautiful? I didn't feel that from 8 yrs old when my step dad/ step brother raped me before getting kicked out the country. Was snorting opioids of all kinds by middle school thanks to pointers I got from IRC pals. I've only JUST now, more than halfway through my 20s realize how precious life really is. I was SO terrified of doctors and therapists my whole life...but when I was ODing and brought into treatment, they were the ones that helped me. Talked to me. Made me not feel like a piece of shit worthless shell of a human. I realized they were just regular people just like you and me. Luckily they don't have a mind to fight like us. But if we handle things the right way, it only makes us stronger.
If anyone send you away (which would be highly unlikely) then go to another one. I always liked to be 110% straight up with doctors. No bullshit. No matter what crazy ass shit you bring up, they've ALWAYS heard worse.
Op ride it, don't try to question anything, just watch ur mind what it's doing. Surrender ur self to unknown and u will be free from illusions of ur mind.
I can't remember good dreams or memories anymore. There has to be a sign somewhere, but I feel as if I'm trapped in a dark corner of my mind and I cannot find the way out. I don't know how I'm supposed to, but maybe I'm dead already
fighting is a tiring experience. I am practically willing to embrace my sick mind, but I do not know if that is the way.
I am mostly afraid of not being taken seriously. And I am not sure if I wouldn't be taken seriously because the doctor wants to keep me like this, or because they just hate me for something. Maybe I did something terrible and I cannot remember it, everyone knows but they didn't lock me up.. maybe
so, I should just sit back and try not to think about it? Or should I let myself go on these thought tangents and explore what my mind is telling me?
Op don't fight it, it will be the most beautiful experience u are having, if u want to know about ur state - the Tibetan book of dead. U will relate to it. M happy 4 you, u are in sweet ride of awakening. Welcome fellow soul
I will look into this
Dude you have to understand that some people mean well but give shitty advice. Some people are just fucked. This user seems spiritual and stupid. Stick to reality, like an atheist would, but you can still be religious and whatnot. Accepting more of this horseshit will just change your delusions. Fucking read the wikihow you dipshit. Dont continue to keep delusion and expect things to change man. Get rid of this weird shit dude dammit
Relax, however this turns out, u will appreciate it. Don't tell this to people near you, they will not get it.. .. Avoid contact and just read the book, u will know what to do,
You remind me so much of myself a couple years ago, now that I'm battling the withdrawals, I realize how dangerous being in you're own head is somtimes. And as for being judged, fuck em!! Seriously, no doctor cares enough to cast doubt, they just want to diagnose, prescribe proper meds, and get you back on your way asap. Unlike the clinic I just left, who purposely drops people's doses if they are tapering off "too quickly" ....they just want to keep everyone on as long as possible so they can keep making money. Money is the only important thing, and the least important thing in the world right now....the most important thing is you for you, and me for me. We all exist together, and honestly man. I'm happy I got to chat with you in this thread. Helped get me through the night a bit easier.
Suffering is a part of life. So you're pretty alive right now. Don't ever give in to your mind because you don't know where that will take you. Just try to get some help and medication. And if there's anyone you can trust it's your family and the meds. The meds will never wrong you.
696972184 = user, u are right. M spiritual, I believe in energy around us, in ourself. But don't count me nuts, lol I condemn religions too. M spiritual atheist that believes in inner peace of one's mind,I can perfectly tell what is reality and what's not. But u will not understand the shit op is going through, unless it occurs with you. Mark my words & Wait someday u I'll get it bro.
You're fucking retarded. One thing is a healthy awakening, but feeding his illness like this is plain stupid. He's in a bad state .
I will try to find the wikihow you are referring to, I hope it can help
I am glad we got to talk too, I am feeling a lot less psychotic than I was when I started the thread, although it's not 100% gone. I'm still unsure of a lot but hey, I can't always get the answers I desire, maybe most of it I just need to wait out.
I've gone on some terrible rides through my mind before, and it is most certainly not a fun experience. It is terrifying how powerful our brains really are, especially if it's sick.
So I did a little reading on schizophrenia. I never knew there was a label for such a thing. I related to it a lot more than I was expecting.. But a doctor would have to tell me, correct?
I've had severe delusions on shrooms and let me tell you that shit is not fun. My handle back to reality was "I'll come down soon, I can't act while I'm high" and that got me through. Maybe yours can be " I'll be perfectly fine as long as I take my meds and don't hurt neither myself nor people around me"
696973006= no such thing as healthy awakening, it's always dark before light. Only monks get healthy awakening cos they devote their life for it with meditation and free from our realities. Op , every decision is yours, do as you like, just don't feed on negativity and meds unless u are too sick.
I will try to hold out as long as I can. I am not sure how long that will be, I just don't want to be sick anymore
Yes, see a doctor user. You'll be fine. I know it can be hard to trust people with the state of mind you're in but here it goes.
>Meds are not poison
>Trust your doctor
>Your family wants the best for you, even if it appears that they're being assholes
>The government is not out to get you personally
>This world is the real world, don't try to end your life
>No one can read your thoughts. It's IMPOSSIBLE.
Treat these as facts please. The only thing that is wrong is that your brain works a bit different than most.
Smoke weed op
My awakening was beautiful. I shed tears of joy. All I'm saying is this user is not at the steps of enlightening, he's suffering from delusions, don't feed his mind with this shit. People awaken when they're ready to, so sit this one out and let him continue his own path. Trust me, go preach somewhere else.
drop acid
you will either lose your shit or find peace in the universe
I will try, I really appreciate the help. I seriously thought I was going to go crazy tonight. Perhaps that is for another time.
No one wants to be sick anymore user, but we are all a bit sick. I made it my point not to end it until my family is gone. I understand it's hard to suffer user and I can't blame you for not wanting to, but if you hold on a bit longer and get checked out by a doc, you might just make it through this one just fine. Do you ever go into the outer world or does it get too overwhelming user?
Within the last few months I have hardly left my house. I am too afraid, and I'm not even sure of what. I feel people looking, talking, plotting... I would like to get through this
More clinical source:
psychcentral.com
This is the wikihow i was talking about.
m.wikihow.com
Look under symptoms for shit you might have, i cant be sure of the clinical accuracy of the rest of the wikihow. I had the erotomania shit. That page has since been updated since i took this screenshot a while back. Again, this is fucking wikihow mate. You should still see a doctor.
I feel for you user, it's a pleasure being here for you because I can put myself in your shoes, I can see what that must feel like and it's not pretty not knowing weather your delusions are right or wrong. Do me a favor and ignore these people telling you to do drugs. Those are a NO for you.
Paranoid schizophrenia. Seek help, it only gets worse
696974325= good for you user, it's not preaching dude, m saying threw my experience of same shit he's going through. And u are saying threw urs, in an effort to help me. Even though u are so called awake, then y are you so rude man, u are not happy with ur self. We all are One, experiencing life differently. M just trying to help him to avoid pitfalls that I fell into.
You need some air and some sunlight. Start by sitting in your backyard alone and focus on your breathing, let the thoughts of people existing fade away and just enjoy your small patch of nature. user NO ONE is plotting against you, but I understand that it might still be too much for you to go walk the city, so like I said, start by relaxing in a safe place outdoors. Backyard is ideal. Read a book or listen to some chill instrumentals. Paint stuff.
I will try to bring myself to see a doctor as soon as I can. Thank you for everything
I can assure you I won't do any drugs any time soon, seems like a recipe for disaster at this point.
I will definitely give this a shot, it can't be worse than what I'm doing now.. right? I appreciate it
I'm not trying to be rude on purpose, I just really care about this user and I feel like learning the nature of "reality" might just help further his delusions.
Album of the year: Schizophrenia
By: Paranoid
Includes hits like
1) The Doctor is out to get me
2) I'm a special snowflake
3) People can read my mind, but why can I read people's minds?
4) Was it a cat i saw?
5) what was that sound?
6) Voices tell me mean things
7) Voices tell me to hurt things
8) KYS
You're technically insane, OP. So stop overthinking shit, and let people, whose minds work normally, help you manage your illness. It's really that simple.
Yeah no problem man. Remember the golden rule mate, you'll make it through. Just chill out dude.
We are monitoring this thread. Go to your doctor. He will pretend to not know what is going on but he will know. Ask for assistance and tell him you are suffering from schizophrenia. Do not forget to mention on that you need ZIGZIAC for your suffering. He will escort to your room and personnel will stop the test and cure you of your affliction. Good job alerting us.
Kek
Which country do you live in? If there are hospitals or a national health system, it should be possible get get help for this disease.
Both of these people are fucking with you, though they mean well. I think.
Same goes for you after you have beaten old age, sport.