So, Sup Forums. I ROYALLY fucked up

So, Sup Forums. I ROYALLY fucked up.

I'm a 19 year old beta bitch loser with no friends who spends all day doing nothing. My life is going nowhere. I'm also an untrustworthy piece of shit liar who lies about everything. Funny, too. Because if I had to choose a career I would want to pursue, I've always wanted to be a politician. I don't know why I lie. I don't like lying. I feel shitty about it. I think it has to do or at least mix in with the fact that I'm lazy, dumb,a procrastinator, and have no willpower whatsoever. I'm scum. It's not a mental illness, I could stop lying if I wasn't such a coward. I can't look anyone in the eye and say anything true, and everyone knows it. (No, not autism ironically enough.)

Long story short, I have been lying about many various small things and a few HUGE things in my life for 3 years to my family (mom and pops) straight to their face, and they finally found out about it all. Now. my mother doesn't love me anymore and my father just flat out hates me. It was that fucking bad. I am a terrible human being. I don't have the willpower to do anything right.

"Well user, you fucking bitch, why don't you just kill yourself, then? Stop complain about it online and go die."

Oh, you don't think I've thought about it? Every day? The only reason I don't is because of my parents. My parents are amazing people, they've always given me everything I've wanted but I, as the spoiled brat I am, always fuck it up. I don't deserve them or anything they've given me. But for some reason they won't give up on me no matter how badly I fuck up in life. I hate myself. It would DESTROY my mother if I killed myself. She'd probably even do it herself, or it'd at LEAST ruin her life emotionally and in general. Ironically enough, though my dad it supposed to be the "manly man" of the house, I think he'd take it worse.

Currently packing my bags.

TL;DR FEELS THREAD

>pic somewhat related, how I feel atm

...

What did you lie about?

Tell us what the lies were user
It's the only way we'll feel as though we have a reason to help you

What did u do that was so bad op

Due tell the lies OP enlighten us please

How are we supposed to come up with cunning quips like "kill yourself" and "cuck" without knowing he specifics of your transgressions?

On a slightly lighter note, my life is pretty great right now.

Seriously though, you wouldn't have posted that info dump unless you WANTED to tell us.

Instead of making a depressing feels thread that will just make you feel worse, why not think of ways to fix you're current situation?

The minor various lies were stupid family stuff but the big lies have been things such as getting my diploma, stopping my drug habits, broken promises, and lies about what I do every day in general. I don't know why I do it. I need help, honestly. I lie all the time because I'm such a coward. I'm a natural addict, too. I can't not get addicted to something. I don't know what's wrong with me... I've had a perfectly normal life.

I can't fix it anymore. They completely just want to disown me at this point. I've lied my life all the way to hell

I did the same thing with an ex gf and feel really bad about it, but I moved on. All you can do is own up to your mistakes and learn from them.

If you admit you need help get the fuck off Sup Forums and go see a professional. This place won't help at all honestly

Jesus christ user just tell us what happened allready.

I'm a bit of a pathological liar too, even though it's only small things, so I do get the anxiety around that.

But OP, see it like this. Your lies, whatever they may be, are now out in the open. You've been given an opportunity to build your parent's trust back from the ground.
Wouldn't that feel good? Wouldn't it feel good to finally have that ball of constant anxiety that is yuor relationship to your folks just dissapear? Not having to feel shitty about it ever again?

All you have to do is prove to them that you can be a decent human being.
Also you're a faggot.

What kind of drugs

YOU FUCKING LIAR NONE OF THIS HAPPENED

I BET YOU DONT EVEN HAVE ANY PARENT

Weed and acid. Tame drugs, parents aren't religious or anything they just take that shit as serious as death.

You sound like a hopeless twat imho. You've chosen to fuck up your life and now you want someone else to fix it for you. It's a simple solution user:

Stop being a moron faggot

i'm that much of a fucking moron, I don't know what to do

Are you me?

...

OP here, as shitty as my life is now, is no one really going to follow up on the feels thread?

i don't care.

I think you are me. A few weeks ago my best friend from childhood passed. Shit sucks.

OP here. Last feel I post before I abandon thread. It's been nice knowing you people.

This thread = Autism

About two years ago, I fucked up on a community based order and went to prison, my parents wouldn't have me back, so I moved on and did whatever I could to get back on my feet without breaking the law

I work night shift at kmart, it's not the greatest, but beggars can't be choosers.

My point is, you can still turn things around, all you need is life in your body and some fucking motivation

Thanks my dood

^purple text

>drug habit

You mean weed mostly right? Occasionally party drugs on the weekend?

m8. You're 19. You've got time to fix this. I'm in a similar situation (life going nowhere, thrown away numerous opportunities, have joke job purely out of father's sympathy) and ten years older than you.

It's just feels so shitty man... I love my parents to death though I don't deserve to, and now they legit hate me. I have such hatred for myself.

If I knew how to fix I wouldn't be in the same situation but the one thing I am sure of is you must actively seek to change something. One of the things I've realised about myself is I've got an abject fear of failure. This affects everything in my life, from meeting new people to not taking any chances. Sound familiar?

You're only 19 dude. Be honest with your parents, tell them you actually can't stop lying and you don't know why.

After you've told them this, each time you catch yourself lying, say "sorry I lied again".

Also maybe see a doctor. I've met people like you, who literally lie for no reason as if they can't control it. Got to be some undiagnosed mental disorder.

There was a guy in my village who everyone called bullshit Shaun. You sound like him.

I don't fear failure. I don't know WHAT'S wrong with me. All I know is that I'm ruin everyone's lives around me by lying.

That's the thing.If I say that, mom may sympathize but my father doesn't believe in that shit. He'll claim bullshit, and that I'm lying because I'm a stupid terrible person and want to hurt everyone around me, not that I may have a legit problem.

I've lied so much that they won't even believe me that I may have a problem. especially since my dad is so cynical about this shit. I've been in the situation before, and I haven't tried telling them this so it sets my credibility at 1%.

1% is still something

>I don't fear failure

You probably do. By not fully applying yourself (failed uni) you can take refuge in the 'I could have passed if only I'd put in the effort'. I could be wrong. Any success with girls? Any hobbies outside smoking bongs? If no then you probably fear failure.

>I don't know WHAT'S wrong with me

You refer to yourself as spoiled. Spoiled kids become entitled adults. Do you blame external factors or look for a scapegoat? Find yourself attracted to radial politics?

> All I know is that I'm ruin everyone's lives around me by lying.

Why are you lying?

lied about taking drugs because you don;t want to disappoint your parents. Same goes for your diploma. Sounds like fear of failure, and not even just for failure's sake but because of how you think people will react to your failure.

You say no friends. Always been the case or has it got worse since leaving highschool and getting more into drugs?

Fuuck, dude.

Shitty thing is, they think I truly don't care.

Always been the case. Loser in school.

I love politics. I don't know why I lie so much.

Do you actually love politics or edgy politics?

And you must have some bros. Who do you smoke with? Who do you get from? How did you meet your dealer?

Actual politics, trust me.

I smoke alone. This chick I know from high school sells me it. Not friends though.

It could be worse, you could of been born a fucking nigger XXXD

>Actual politics, trust me.

Politics is universally depressing. I don't think anything good can come of obsessing over the actions a people who's motivations we'll never understand. Your biggest issue isn't your lying but your lack of motivation. If you'd passed your diploma you wouldn't have had to lie and the weed thing wouldn't have seem so bad.

Dunno what advice I can really offer. Just a warning. I am you ten years in the future. Things only get worse. Change something. Get a degree. Even if it is worthless you'll be grateful. Failing that, try to get a trade. In 5 years time you'll be making money and not be dependent on your parents. They'll see you as a real person. Just fucking do something. Do not become me. My life is basically

>'work' (shitpost here, Sup Forums, left/pol/ + fap)
>smoke bongs
>more bongs
>sleep + more fap
>repeat

It has been this way every day for 6 years. Do not become me.