/heem/: insert le fune cm punk meme edition

Upcoming events:

7/29: Invicta FC 18 - Grasso vs Escabel
7/30: UFC 201 - Lawler vs Woodley
7/31: Pancrase Osaka - Kitakata vs Hayasaka
8/5: Titan FC 40 - Cavalcante vs Assuncao
8/6: UFC FN 92 - Rodriguez vs Caceres
8/13: ONE FC: Macau - Leone vs Moraes
8/20: UFC 202 - Diaz vs McGregor 2
8/26: Lellator 160: Henderson vs Freire
8/27: UFC on Fox 21 - Maia vs Condit
8/27: ONE FC: Jakarta - TBA
9/2: ONE FC: Kuala Lumpur - TBA
9/2: Lion Fight 31 - Baars vs Whitley
9/3: UFC FN 93 - Arlovski vs Barnett
9/10: UFC 203 - Miocic vs Overeem
9/17: UFC FN 94 - Poirier vs Johnson
9/25: RIZIN 2 - RIZIN FIGHTING WORLD GRAND PRIX 2016: OPENING ROUND

Other urls found in this thread:

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1relqm_BS7XXFZu5GOsXvWcZH46JYiQjUR7klNhi925Q/pubhtml
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Spells Joanna's last name right now from memory

Schaub is God

Jedredczyjk

JO-UNNU JODRAYCHECK

imagine Diego's wife

Juanjaycheck

I think Goldie does a good job

Jedryczjek

Jedredcrzek

Why is Bisping ducking everyone ranked from 1st to 12 in his division?

He knows he can everyone want to see the rematch and he wants to defend the tittle at least once

how hairy is your ass brehs?

I'm a solid 10 in terms of hairyness, I dye my hair asshair black and I'd be crowned king of arabs

my ass isn't that bad, my asshole though is dense forestation

is anyone picking cm punk to win?

shut up

Post 'em

“In the end they offered me to revoke my suspension If I snitch another fighter. I couldn’t believe that they were humiliating me in this matter. I have my own gym, I don’t know what people use and even If I knew it – I wouldn’t tell them. I told them that they can stop me from fighting in UFC, but they will not take my soul. If organization who fights for clean sport is on such a level that they want to blackmail a fighter… Can you get any lower? I wouldn’t do this to my worst enemy. But such are the rules, I’m not mad at anybody. I should have kept quiet. I ended up being more naive than a French maid.”

lmao idiot

Machida vs Mousasi

Speak for yourself, I have absolutely no interest in watching Bisping beat up an old worn out Henderson

Hendo is going to heem him though

>I should have kept quiet. I ended up being more naive than a French maid.

What did he mean by this?

>Jessica Eye vs. Bethe

Top kek I don't even know how this one will go but I know it will be hilarious to watch.

Bobby Fischer vs. Deep Blue

JDS vs. Rothwell

The winner will get a title shot.

Because apparently Shevchenko needs to "prove herself a bit more"

Machida vs literally anyone he wins against

Hardly, JDS put a clinic on him

amanda nunes just fought her

she wants to fight ronda she's not ducking cuckshanko

>The winner will get a title shot.

Surely you jest. Both these women are coming off losses.

Nunes said it should be the winner of Shevchenko-Pena

it was just a little joke haha

She can't just sit out and wait in that time

no one gives a shit about shitshanko

What's your favorite submission lads?

She won the title like two weeks ago
Shevchenko and Pena could fight by the end of this year and Nunes could fight the winner in early 2017

Why is everyone hating on Holly holm, finally the womens division has some competition and people act like Holly is the bum. At least she goes out and fights the best out there even offering to fight cyborg, unlike Ronda who built herself fighting bums. I hope Valentina gets titleshot and heems that ugly dike Amanda and then sends Ronda into suicide watch

>A woman whom Sanchez had met online deceived the fighter into believing he was the father of their child. Based on the child’s striking similarities, Sanchez foregone a DNA test and raised the child as his own.
>The path to discovering the truth began when he married another woman and was no longer allowed by the mother to visit the child.
>In an attempt to gain custody of the child, Sanchez hired an attorney. During the process, Sanchez finally underwent a DNA test and learned there were no blood ties.
>"I was crushed. It was heartbreaking for me that he wasn’t mine," Sanchez said. "I had to take it for what it was and just accept it ...

wew

6 month layoff? Pena fought on the same card Nunes was on ffs, it's not like Nunes went through a war. Shevchenko just fought yesterday, why would Nunes just sit on the sidelines?

>sends Ronda into suicide watch

already happened

Layoffs of that length are typical for champions

SHE WANTS ROUNDA LOUSEY FOR THE ''''''''''''''''''''BIG'''''''''''''''' PAYDAY

banana split

Name one in recent memory?

Don't say Lawler because he's actually been through wars. McGoobs has been active so he doesn't count and injured champs like RDA or Werdum don't count because they've got a reason. If anything the Champ should be fighting actively, not pussyfooting around

Why do you have big in quotations? Are you saying Ronda isn't a draw?

Luke Rockholdontobigjohnmccarthysleg

Hahaha good one mate

I love how you can see Goldberg getting legit excited

>all he had to do was pull guard

what weight are they supposed to be fighting at?

He was too...how you say it? too cock? too cock?

cm punk will get dropped with the first punch

Cruz
Lawler (having "a lot of wars" isn't a valid reason for a champion)
Joanna

Should I sort chronologically? Do on for the spicy banger list as well?

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1relqm_BS7XXFZu5GOsXvWcZH46JYiQjUR7klNhi925Q/pubhtml

What are your thoughts on joanna?

kek forgot about fabio mabobabo saying that

Didn't both Cruz and JJ have an injury?
Wars is a valid reason ffs, they need time to recover. MacDonald just came back the other month and Condit is coming back next month

Kind of a catch weight. Punk is allowed to weigh in at 185 but gall has to weigh in at 170.

Forgot the pic

This looks shooped

add Cruz vs TJ, Fedor vs Cro Cop, Condit vs Lawler, etc.

>Punk is allowed to weigh in at 185

I'm pretty sure he's going to have to be at 170

How was JDS/Rothwell a chess match when JDS memed on him for 5 rounds?

Thompson also memed on Rory for 5 rounds. I don't think you know what a chess match is.

One guy was way better at chess

Yes, do the full spicy banger list.

''When I spoke to him in the locker rooms yesterday he said he feels ready, he is motivated, he said he's never felt better.''

WAKE UP /HEEM/!

>MY WIFE'S SON

Who is your favorite UFC fighter?

looks like his life turned into a meme from the moment he didn't bother taking the DNA test

his wife's son

Reminder that he won TUF at MIDDLEWEIGHT

BOB LAWLER

Is that guy a ufc fighter? Because I'm pretty sure Paige just pretends to be in the ufc now.

What went wrong?

she has no penis

WMMA is a meme

Why is Meisha Tate such a qt lads?

STILL MY GIRL!

DUDE I'M HAWAIIAN LMAO

She is shit

casuals

they can't understand that Holly followed a good gameplan to beat Ronda, slow and methodical, meanwhile tons of dumb girls bumrushed Ronda which is the most stupid gameplan against someone who wants to grapple you and finish you quick, because her entire career is 1st round finishes

Picking WMMA fighters because they're attractive never works out
Everyone on /heem/ thought Stanciu would win her last two fights for no reason other than because their dicks liked her

Tennessee tuxedo

Is he still your boy? Nobody posts him anymore.

>i was an A level athlete until age 6

fans only like him because he looks like them

Rose Namajunas: $54,000 (includes $27,000 win bonus)
def. Paige VanZant: $40,000

Sage Northcutt: $80,000 (includes $40,000 win bonus)
def. Cody Pfister: $12,000

Kailin Curran: $20,000 (includes $10,000 win bonus)
def. Emily Kagan: $10,000

Would you fight for these paychecks?

>Iron chin
>1 punch KO power
>Deadly submission game
>Awesome walkout music

Fuck off, Oliver

that choke he has is a fake choke, Rothwell is a giant slab of shit with no skills, only memes

>Submits the best grappler in his division
>KOs the best striker in his division
>H-he's a meme

Sure m8

>fake choke
>submitted Josh Barnett and Matt Mitrione

Reminder he also heemed Alistair Overeem

I make 12.95 a hour working at my community college


any of those checks look good

it's not real, you can't prove that it is

what should be this week's goof image?

>120k for a fight
>isnt even ranked

dana must really like ramming sages boy pussy

Got me there, bud

>12.95 a hour
that's not bad for one person if you don't spend too much money on things you don't need

>777
>memes
consider suicide

...

use this

yeah its a cushy job and its only part time while i still go to school