ITT: Dumb autistic stuff you've done while high

ITT: Dumb autistic stuff you've done while high.
This just happened.
>be me
>coming back inside from smoking a fat bowl
>realize I have to piss like crazy
>get to toilet, unzip fly, pop wiener out
>just as I'm a about to piss, pop a random ass boner
>why.jpg
>just sit there looking at my dick for maybe five minutes
>have no idea why
>pull out phone, open camera, look at dick through camera
>after maybe ten minutes of standing in the bathroom with dick out like an idiot, I finally go limp enough to stick that shit back in my jeans and leave
>go to room, get on computer
>find porn, go to fap
>realized I never fucking pissed
>mfw

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=tRiSS3NEuEM
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Also, general stoner thread.

>make coffee
>forget about it, sits on the keurig for an hour
>'man i'm thirsty i need a drink'
>'oh for fucks sake, my coffee, i'll grab it once i'm finished this
>another hour passes and my mouth is so dry i'm at risk of choking on my tongue
>'FUCK'
>reheat coffee and drink it
>repeat the process but with some sort of food like popcorn or nachos

I'm sure this is a common occurrence, though, nothing like your escapade

Yeah I do this kind of shit a lot tbh

II cant greentext for shit because i just came back from a week t-break, but ill just tell it.

When im out of rolling supplies, i usually smoke out of a bong made from a plastic bottle and a gasstation pipe. These fuckers get really hot, especially when you smoke hash in em.

One late night at around 3am, i was smoking out of my bedroom window (too lazy to go downstairs) and i only had jogging pants on. I got extremely stoned and drifted off, holding the iron part of the bong against my naked stomache. I now have a scar, about as big as a fingernail, +-3 cm up from where your pubes start.

pic related

I'm racking my brain for shit i do but generally if i get fucked up enough to be weird i don't recall much in the way of specifics, I just know i spent the night watching TV or reading or whatever.

I'm pretty lightweight, i smoke regularly, but not heavily. I have a little single-hitter pipe that i maybe smoke from 3, 4 times over the course of 5-6 hours in the evening, and i do that every night. I buy a half ounce and it lasts me damn near a month

For that reason i'm usually just buzzed and stupid as opposed to high and goofy

My wife's favourite thing I've done while baked was when I did a fresh Dark Souls run and while the undead parish bell cutscene was playing I stood up to stretch and as i was moving my hips around and cracking my back I started chanting "Oomenacka DING, Oomenacka ding" and she heartily guffawed.

But I do silly shit like that all the time, so i dunno.

i feel you

OH I JUST REMEMBERED A GREAT STORY

>living in apartment
>first batch of weed i ever bought, too "oh man drugs r bad oh geez" to smoke it that often
>maybe once a month, shit was still nice and sticky though because i had a perfect airtight container
>generally head out to behind the building and quickly light up in the dark of the night
>almost got caught twice, stopped doing that
>people across the hall hotbox their entire apartment every other day so i figure whats the harm of blowing it out the window from the guest room
>light up, do so
>"haha holy shit dude someone in this apartment just took a big rip off a J or something"
>i fucking freeze
>oh god im going to jail forever
>firing squad for me, oh man oh god
>stand perfectly still in the pitch black room waiting to figure out who was out there
>see shoes and some wierd fucking thick looking legs or something to the immediate right of my window
>i hear muffled conversation
>something is off about it, the feet look wrong
>still panicking, the weed taking effect is NOT helping
>things fall into place all at once
>the person's feet and legs look wierd because they are squatting FACING the building
>they're talking into a window
>the window of the apt across the hall
>oh christ this is one of the stoner's friends chatting them up, I'm perfectly fine
>wife asks what the fuck i was doing for twenty minutes
>explain
>she nearly wets herself laughing at me

i got another that happened like a week later

bump

>just got back from outside
>stoned af
>light a cigar
>took 2 puffs
>put it in a ashtray
>forgot about the cigar
>pulls out another one
>took another 2 puffs
>put it again in the ashtray
>look at the ashtray
>panic
>thought its someone else in the house

>baked after getting a bit more comfortable with it
>occasionally go to the convenience store across the street with a friend but rarely leave the apt. while stoned
>wife wants subway one day
>i'm obviously perfectly okay with eating a foot of deliciousness in my haze
>willing to tag along and carry it if she orders
>plan on not speaking nor looking at anyone (i did this at first at the store across the street too)
>as soon as she walks up to the counter the person ordering ahead of us turns around, looks directly at me and says "so you like playing video games, huh"
>oh god what is happening am i hallucinating
>'uh... yeah?'
>"yeah i live across the hall from you, i hear game sounds occasionally, what do you play on?"
>'erm, mostly PS3, my 360 died recently'
>"cool, I'll catch you later"
>he leaves with his food
>wife looks at me and says "who the fuck opens a conversation with "so ya like to play vidya gaems"?
>person behind the counter snickers
>I'm too harrowed to show amusement
>never see that guy again

oh fuck that's goddamn hilarious

if i live in an apartment and smoke a blunt/joint in my room, will my neighbors be able to smell it?

yes. without any doubt whatsoever. Do not. I only did 2-3 times because we endured our neighbours reeking of it for months

The people who used to live above my store got evicted for it because customers were complaining and i brought it up to the landlord who said "not again"

is there any way to cover it up? maybe an air purifier or something

youtube.com/watch?v=tRiSS3NEuEM

Make this video and the rest of the videos on the channel.

just don't. It's not worth the effort required and there's no guarantee your effort will actually make a difference. Trust me.

well i know a lot of people that dont give a shit and never had anyone complain. then again i live in the Netherlands so its just like your neighbours smoking cigarettes inside

anyone in the (nonlegal) states have any experience?

Are you just going to keep asking until someone enables your desire to stink up a building for everyone inside it? Because if it will make you stop, then go for it

No I'm trying to find a way to be able to smoke inside my apartment because if I can't my life will be moderately inconvenienced. If there's a method or people don't really care I would like to know from someone with experience.

prick

And I gave you examples of how the people above me got evicted for it and the people across from my old apt. stunk up the whole building and everyone knew

just because johnny fuckface's neighbours don't care doesn't mean yours won't. You ask for advice and then you ignored it. That bothers me

Best way i can think of is using a pipe, only packing what you are hitting, covering between hots and exhaling into a Sploofy out a window maybe
Also keeping the weed in airtight containers and maybe some dryer sheets in the cabinet so the smell doesnt get out, or at least if it reaches the neighbors it isnt nothing but very weak and ocassionallu

Just eat a gummy bear or some shit

why are you taking it so personally? I give a fuck about what you have to say, do you want a gold star? No one's ignoring you, I'm just asking for more input.

This one actually happened mostly to a friend, but it's a good story, so here it goes:
>some chick did the mistake of announcing her birthday party as official on a popular social media site
>everyone may come
>me, some friends and about a thousand other random people attend to party
>after a lot of alcohol and lots of partying it gets dark
>friend says we should blaze it, but due to obligatory paranoia we hide behind some container
>we smoke and suddenly LIGHTS
>OH SHIT IT'S THE POLICE WE'RE SO FUCKING SCREWED
>on second thought i remember i have no weed on me so i better distract them
>catch me the first cop to follow us and distract him with some stupid ass conversation
>look to my friend and see how he's looking at the ground, flashlight searching on the ground
>oh god he dun fucked up
>shortly after he just walks up to me and tells me to follow, i do
>he explains to me that he told them that he dropped the joint and told the officer that he lost his wallet
>at some point he realizes that it wouldn't be good if they found the joint he just told them that he doesn't care anymore
>we leave the spot without further confrontation and try to make our way back home
>he remembers weed he completely forgot about he had in his pocket and rolls a second or third (?) joint
>we somehow manage to get home (this is another story about incredible luck, and a kind god watching for the drunk, stoned and stupid)
TLDR; If you're too stoned to remember the weed you carry on yourself you're basically invincible.

*
>>he explains to me that he -t-o-l-d- -t-h-e-m- -t-h-a-t- -h-e- dropped the joint and told the officer that he lost his wallet