I recently bought a house and can honestly say i am more excited about the fact that I have access to the plumbing in...

I recently bought a house and can honestly say i am more excited about the fact that I have access to the plumbing in the basement. I plan to intercept my wife's poop when she flushes so I can do what I like with it... anyone else into this? General discussion thread I guess.

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What the fuck is wrong with you?

I think, you think too complicated.

Ask your wife to dump a turd on your belly while you masturbate. She will agree.

I have a socially unaccepted fetish

your fetish hasn't accepted the social I guess

Tried it. she's not willing. I accepted that...but now I have a workaround and we both are happy, she doesn't have to know

Greentext your plans

that's ... shit ... in the bad sense of the thing.

>wife
>can't know im stealing her poopies
>she would be mad if she knew i wanted her poops
why even marry her then?

divorce her and find someone who wants to poopy on your chest OP

I know you're lying, but I was going to make a dumb thread and I'll just post here instead

A year and some months ago I made some homemade cannabis e-juice with PG and VG and weed and nothing else. It wasn't really strong enough to vape and took over 20 hits to feel even a light buzz. I found it again tonight and decided to try plugging an eyedropper full... and suddenly had to shit! I forgot glycerin is used as a laxative in suppository form. This happened five minutes ago. Thanks for reading

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>she would be mad if she knew i wanted her poops

shouldn't the infinitive be used for "want"?
cause he IS actually wanting her poop, but speculative about her finding out that fact?

>plan's simple, pipes which carry flushed water
>run through the basement. these pipes have a
>easy to unscrew access just before they run
>into the concrete. When she goes to
>the washroom I head downstairs, unscrew,
>insert hand into pipe, catch he sweet sweet
>turds. take them into the downstairs
>washroom and have my fun.

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I love her, and she doesn't have to be into everything I am. I accept that....well almost.

snicker...nice

Seems like a good plan. I never, EVER want to see my wife's shit, but if it floats your boat go nuts. You're definitely weirder than most though.

I do know, it's not the easiest fetish to live with...but I think I have finally figured out how to indulge without being shamed. feel like I won the lottery

Details rule the world.

I don't think you realize how much water flows through those pipes

Thanks for transcribing it.
Why not asking her to do it or get her drunk to do it

You do realize the pipes don't just carry a train of perfectly formed turds, right? Expect to disconnect that pipe and be sprayed with a torrent of piss, turds, and shitwater. Think your wife might notice the sewage all over the floor.

I do. and fortunately the pipes are over in a part of the basement she will likely never enter. Kind of a crawl space with concrete floors. I just need a pale big enough to catch the water that escapes and I can just dump it in the toilette downstairs. I may consider making a half pipe I can insert into the hole to make it all flow into my bucket...to be sure I don't miss anything good

fucking kek

I have asked. it's not something she wants to try drunk or not. I don't push it on her just as I wouldn't like it if she pushed something I wasn't comfortable with on me.

this. you're going to flood the basement with shit water and toilet paper, it's going to soak into the concrete and smell, and your wife is going to find out the first time you try. those pipes don't just screw and unscrew like a jar.

...just the amount of the flush. assuming no other faucets are on

this tbh fam

Don't be a disgusting, hidden pervert. Be an open, embracing pervert. If you just tell it like it is--that you're interested in her poop, because it's hers and it smells wonderful and is the essence of her body--she'll gladly take a big nasty dump on your chest at least once to try it, and might even end up enjoying it.

I know it makes a mess. I don't plan to do this every day. I will be sure it doesn't become out of control

Why not damaging your toilet on purpose, Like insert something that blocks the flush deep in the hole. If you are lucky enough, you will get her to shit and you can say you will repair it and take the turd in a towel or something, you could use a pair of socks too

holy fucking shit OP pics fucking please

show us your shit pipes OP

you know shit about shit.

their is no pressure on the shit-pipes. it is just excactly the turds plus water of the people using the toilets of the house.

He bought a house for his fam. I guess. Hence this is the amount of shit to come.

the cleanout on the mainline does.

you need one of these: it's a pool pump filter. The little top screws off and the poops float. you just reach in the basket and grab your prize.

They do unscrew like a jar actually. and the angle at which I can access it will minimize the mess. refer to image...not mine but very similar

Just ask your wife not to flush when she shits. When she's done, reach in, bag them turds up, and do your thing. Maybe she shits at an inopportune time, then pop those bags in a freezer in the basement and save them for your poopy fun. Save up a bunch and buy a kiddie pool and wallow in it.

Rekt

Why would that be in the house? That's always outside.

no pressure in a waste line it just flows downhill to the sewer. ops plan would absolutely work

I don't take possession till the 17 of August, so I have no pics. but I did post a pic more or less what I'm working with

this

and this
DO IT

I didn't realize how many plumbers we had on Sup Forums. Guess it only figures though since this place is a shitfest.

sometimes they are in the basement. Especially on townhouses.

i hope you get E coli, OP

I'm happy for you OP. I hope more people can find happiness like you.

This guy gets it.

at the very least they are wrapped in plumbers tape and that will need to be replaced every time.

Also, do you see how much water is sitting there? That's not going to clean up easy. You're going to get so much fungus.

>I will be sure it doesn't become out of control
Once you detach a single sewer pipe it will become out of control. The horrific nature of your proclivities aside, there is no way to access the shit in the pipes without covering your basement floor with sewage.

I might...I'll try to keep from eating too much. I mostly want to lube up my dick with it

Sup Forums is such a magical place. I can't imagine any other forum in the world, where a man can discuss strategies on how to intercept his wife's poops for unspeakable reasons, and actually get pretty sound and plausible advice on just how to accomplish that.

Also, pic related--it's OP's wife, the poor guy.

all the years you must have been waiting for the one moment to come to write this...

Is it a bad plan OP`?

"Howdy neighbor! Watcha doin' there?"
"Oh just grabbin' a couple of the wife's turds! See ya!" *Wink*

>try to keep from eating too much
>lube up

The fuck op

Old houses don't, they only have them in the basement.

You know, I pretty much only lurk but when an opportunity presents itself...

Uh huh. been waiting 8 years

my house is 100 years old. It's outside.

open the cleanout and put one of these bad boys in the pipe and wait for the flush. bam. instant turd.

Yes this plan worked for me once...but she may begin to suspect if it were to keep happening.

no offence
I kek'd

Honest question... What if you catch a perfect log and are playing with it or whatever it is you do.. Smelling, tasting it... And find out it's not your wife's but another family members or a guy friend who is visiting. Would that gross you out? Would it mean your gay if you like man poop or incest of it's family member poop? Did you think this out?

Thats awesome....I did buy one of these for that purpose!!! smart man

i second this question out of morbid curiosity

Not the same people..

I did think of that...tbh it kinda grosses me out thinking someone else's poop has been down those tubes. getting over that I don't plan to go after he poop if anyone else is in the house

Just replace all of the plumbing and have them install a special "turd removal hatch" that catches and dispenses turds for you.

He could just get a flush cleanout repair plug

you realize you're eating the shit of everyone who has ever used that plumbing to flush shit, right?

old man diarrhea, fat dad shits, not to mention period blood and whatever else is crusted to the pipes...

think about that next time you're eating human feces.

In a perfect world I could go into a home depot and ask for a poop dispensing pipe insert

It's good to have goals in life user.

Celebrating

I did think about that...for real. best I can do is clean the hell out of it before I get on with my plan.

if its pvc drainline theres no tape, just a plug that screws in and out as many times as you like

Whats your wife's ass smell like?

Wait....lemme guess.... it's.....Oh yeah.

You're right, I should've said some old houses. It seems very uncommon in old houses in Denver area anyway.

Did you actually buy the house, or are you on a 30 year rent to own plan with a bank?

It is PVC. and I am glad to hear that...I admit I was getting a little worried about the procedure I may have to follow to keep the mess down.

i am a healthcare worker and this is inadvisable

human shit is a vector for disease transmission

what are you doing user
you are not supposed to eat feces
stop

not too bad actually. she is perfectly fine with rim jobs. she does keep in clean though...Which I hate...

Indeed.

What a wonderful world.

Fuck the establishment, now I want to eat turds too

heh, I guess you could say I am on the rent to own plan. had a large down payment though and interest rates are low

enjoy your c diff and dysentery

is there a problem with using it to masturbate though? because if not you haven't changed my mind. I do appreciate the concern though

I've thought about doing this sort of thing.

My ex wife was kind of mild in bed, but finally warmed up to the idea of not flushing after she pooped. I'd go in and do what I wanted.

Point is: you need to fill your wife in on what you like. Maybe she would be more accommodating than you think.

How about drinking your own urine then?

I'm sure jamming shit down your urethra isn't harmful.

yea, she knows what I like. she isn't comfortable with it. I don't want to push her for it. i think this way everyone wins.

also enjoy the remnants of the previous homeowners, contractors, dogs and cat stool, as well as other crazy nasty shit people flush down the toilet

Also, record it and post it on Sup Forums for posterity

I can't see it being much worse than anal sex...plus I can be sure to avoid jamming it down my urethra if I can see what I'm doing

start her off with some hot anal porn, then move to dirty anal and you can gauge her and see how you can escalate from there

She will simply not flush after she goes. She doesn't have to participate at all that way.

You need to give it a little more time and work on her. She'll end up doing it I promise. Plus you'd get to see exactly what it looked like when it came out of her, instead of all beat up after being flushed and retrieved.

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>stealing her poopies
>poopies
HAHAHAHAHAHA HA AHHHHHAHAHAHHAH HAHAHA HAH HAAHAHA

Do you have anal while your wife is trying to shit? Do you duel with your dick against the turds pushing back? Probably not. Whenever my wife and I have anal there's zero shit involved or detectable anywhere.